the sudden drawing up of the window, so violently as to shiver the glass, showed sufficiently in what light miss norman viewed master bardell’s behaviour. it was an unlucky smash, for it afforded what the tradesman would have called

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“an advantageous opening” for pouring in a fresh stream of eloquence; and the sticker, who shrewdly estimated the convenience of the breach, came round the back of the carriage, and as junior counsel “followed on the same side.” but he took nothing by the motion. the lady was invincible, or, as the discomfited pair mutually agreed, “as hard for to be convinced into a cart, as any thing on four legs.” the blackberry boys had departed, the evening began to close in, and no humphrey made his appearance. the butcher’s horse was on the fret, and his swine grumbled at the delay. the master and man fell into consultation, and favoured me afterwards with the result, the sticker being the orator. it was man’s duty, he said, to look after women, pretty or ugly, young or old; it was what we all came into the world to do, namely, to make ourselves comfortable and agreeable to the fair sex. as for himself, purtecting females was his nature, and he should never lie easy agin, if so be he left the lady on the road; and providing a female wouldn’t be purtected with her own free will, she ought to be forced to, like any other ’live beast unsensible of its own good. them was his sentiments, and his master followed ’em up. they knowed miss norman, name and fame, and was both well-known respectable men in their lines, and i might ax about for their characters. whereby, supposing i approved, they’d have her, right and tight, in their cart, afore she felt herself respectfully off her legs.

such were the arguments and the plan of the bull-headed pair. i attempted to reason with them, but my consent had clearly been only asked as a compliment. the lady herself hastened the catastrophe. whether she had overheard the debate, or the amount of long pent-up emotion became too overwhelming for its barriers, i know not, but pride gave way to nature, and a short hysteric scream proceeded from the carriage. miss norman was in fits! we contrived to get her seated on the step of the vehicle, where the butchers supported her, fanning her

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with their hats, whilst i ran off to a little pool near at hand for some cold water. it was the errand only of some four or five minutes, but when i returned, the lady, only half conscious, had been caught up, and there she sate, in the cart, right and tight, between the two butchers, instead of the two salvages, or griffins, or whatever they were, her hereditary supporters. they were already on the move. i jumped into my own gig, and put my horse to his speed; but i had lost my start, and when i came up with them, they were already galloping into w——. unfortunately her residence was at the further end of the town, and thither i saw her conveyed, struggling in the bright blue, and somewhat greasy, arms of sam the sticker, screaming in concert with the two swine, and answered by the shouts of the whole rabblement of the place, who knew miss norman quite as well, by sight, as “her own carriage!”