chapter 11 the barnies - and clopper

when the big barn was full of villagers, and a few more boxes had been fetched for some of the extrachildren, the noise was tremendous. everyone was laughing and talking, some of the children wereclapping for the show to begin, and the excited farm dogs were yapping and barking at the top oftheir voices!

timmy was excited, too. he welcomed everyone with a bark and a vigorous wag. yan was with him,and george was sure that he was pretending that timmy was his dog! yan looked cleaner than usual.

mrs. penruthlan had actually given him a bath!

'you don't come to the show and you don't come to the supper unless you bath yourself,' shethreatened. but he wouldn't. he said he was 'frit' of the bath!

'i'll be drowned in there,' he said, backing away from it hurriedly. it was already half full of water forhim!

'frit, are you!' said mrs. penruthlan grimly, lifting him up and plunging him into the water, clothesand all. 'well, you'll be fritter still now! take your clothes off in the water and i'll wash them in thebath when you're clean. oh, the dirty little varmint that you are!'

yan screamed the place down as mrs. penruthlan scrubbed him and soaped him and flannelled him.

he hit out at her, but she gave him one sound spank on his small behind, and he stopped verysuddenly. he felt very much at her mercy, and decided not to annoy her in any way while he was inthat dreadful bath!

she washed his ragged pants and shirt, too, and set them to dry. she wrapped him in an old shawl,and told him to wait till his things dried and then put them on.

'one of these days i'll make you some decent clothes,' she said. 'little rapscallion that you are!

what a mite of a body you've got. i'll need to feed you up a bit!'

yan brightened up considerably. feeding up was the kind of treatment he really liked!

now he was down in the barn, welcoming everyone with timmy, and feeling quite important.

he yelled with delight when he saw his old great-grandfather coming along!

'grandad! you said you was coming, but i didn't believe you. come you in. i'll find you a chair.'

'and what's come over you, the way you look tonight?' said the old man, puzzled. 'what you done toyourself?'

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'i've took a bath. see?' said yan, sounding proud. 'iss. i took a bath, grandad. same as you ought.'

grandad aimed a cuff at him, and then nodded to various people he knew. he had his big oldshepherd's crook with him, and he held on to it even when he sat down on a chair.

'well, grandad, it's nigh on twenty year since we saw you down hereabouts,' said a big, red-facedvillager. 'what you been doing with yourself all these years?'

'minding my business and minding my sheep,' said grandad, in his slow, cornish voice. 'ay, and it'llmebbe twenty years afore you sees me again, joe tremayne. and if you want to know summat, i'lltell you this. it bain't the show i'm come for, it's the supper.'

everyone roared with laughter, and grandad looked as pleased as punch. yan looked at him proudly.

his old grandad was as good as anyone, any day!

'sh! sh! show's going to begin!' said somebody, when they saw the curtain twitching. at once thetalking and shuffling stopped, and all eyes turned to the stage. a faded, rather torn blue curtain wasdrawn across.

there came a chord from a fiddle behind the scenes, and then a gay tune sounded out. the curtainwas drawn back slowly, halting on its rings here and there, and the audience gave a long sigh ofdelight. they had seen the barnies many times but they never tired of them.

all the barnies were on the stage, and the fiddler fiddled away as they struck up a rousing song with achorus that all the villagers joined in most heartily. old grandad beat time, banging his crook on thefloor.

everything was applauded heartily. then someone called out loudly. 'where's old clopper?

where be he?'

and old clopper the horse came shyly on, looking out of the sides of his eyes at the audience, andbeing so very bashful that old grandad almost fell off his chair with laughing.

the fiddle struck up again and clopper marched in time to it. it grew quicker, and he ran. it grewquicker still and he galloped, and fell right off the stage.

'hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!' roared someone. 'hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!' it was such an enormous guffaw thateveryone turned round. it came from mr. penruthlan, who was writhing and wriggling in his seat as ifhe was in great pain. but he was only laughing at clopper.

clopper heard the giant of a laugh and put a hoof behind one ear to listen to it. grandad promptly felloff his seat with joy. clopper caught his back legs in his front legs and fell over too. there 56was such a pandemonium of screams and guffaws and yells from the delighted audience that it wassurprising the roof didn't fall in.

'off now,' said a firm voice at the side of the stage. julian looked to see who it was, as clopperobediently turned to shuffle off, waving one back leg to the admiring villagers. the voice came fromthe guv'nor who was standing where he could watch the whole show in detail. his face was stillunsmiling, even after clopper's antics!

the show was a great success, although it could not have been simpler. the jokes were old, the playacted was even older, the singing was a bit flat, and the dancing not as good as the third form of agirls' school, but it was so merry and smiling and idiotic and good-natured that it went with a terrificswing from start to finish.

as for clopper, it was his evening! every time his head so much as looked in on the stage, theaudience rocked with joy. they would, in fact, have been delighted to have had one actor only, all theevening, and that actor, clopper, of course. julian and dick watched him, fascinated. how they bothlonged to try on those back and front legs, and put on the head, and do a little'cloppering' themselves!

'sid and binks are awfully good, aren't they?' said dick. 'gosh, i wish we could get hold of legs and ahead and do that act at the christmas school concert, ju! we'd bring the house down. let's ask sid ifwe can have a shot some time.'

'he won't lend us the head,' said julian. 'still, we could do without that, and just try the legs. i bet wecould think of some funny things to do, dick!'

everybody was sad when the curtain went across the stage, and the show was over. the fiddle struckup 'god save the queen', and everyone rose loyally to stand and sing every word lustily.

'three cheers for the barnies!' yelled a child, and the hip-hurrahing rose to the rafters. grandadwaved his crook too vigorously and hit a very large farmer on the back of his neck.

'now, old grandad!' said the farmer, rubbing his neck, 'you trying to pick a fight with me? no, no, i'dbe afeared to take you on, i would. you'd get me by my hind leg with that crook like you do yoursheep, and down i'd go!'

grandad was delighted. he hadn't had such an evening for forty years! maybe fifty. and now for thatsupper. that was what he had really come for. he'd show some of these sixty-year-old youngstershow to eat!

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the villagers went home, talking and laughing. two or three of the women stayed on to help.

the barnies didn't bother to change out of their acting clothes, but came into the kitchen as theywere, grease-paint running down their cheeks in the heat. the barn had got very hot with so manypeople packed in close together.

the children were simply delighted with everything. they had laughed so much at clopper that theyfelt quite weak. the play had amused them too, with its sighings and groanings and threats and tearsand stridings around. now they were more than ready for their supper!

the barnies crowded round the loaded table, cracking jokes, complimenting mrs. penruthlan,smacking everyone on the back, and generally behaving like a lot of school children out for a treat.

julian looked round at them all. what a jolly lot! he looked for the guv'nor, surely for once in a wayhe too would be smiling and cheerful.

but he wasn't there. julian looked and looked again. no, he certainly wasn't there.

'where's the guv'nor?' he asked sid, who was sitting next to him.

'the guv'nor? oh, he's sitting in solitary state in the barn,' said sid, attacking an enormous slice ofmeat-pie laced with hard-boiled eggs. 'he never feeds with us, not even after a show. keeps himselfto himself, he does! he'll be having a whacking great tray of food all on his own. suits me all right! inever did get on with the guv'nor.'

'where's clopper - the horse's head, i mean?' asked julian. he couldn't see it beside sid anywhere. 'isit under the table?'

'no. the guv'nor's got it tonight. said he wasn't going to have it rolled about under the table, or havejelly or gravy dropped all over it,' said sid, taking six large pickled onions. 'my, mrs.

penruthlan is a wonder! why don't i marry someone like her, instead of getting thinner and thinnerinside clopper's back-legs?'

julian laughed. he wondered who was going to take the guv'nor's tray into the barn. he noticed thatmrs. penruthlan was getting one ready, and he went over to her.

'is that for the guv'nor?' he asked. 'shall i take it for you?'

'oh, thank you, julian,' said the busy farmer's wife, gratefully. 'here it is, and ask dick to carry in abottle and a glass for him, will you? there's no more room on the tray.'

so julian and dick together went out to the barn with the food and drink. the wind still blewstrongly and rain was beginning to fall again.

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'there's no one here,' said julian, looking round. he set down the tray, puzzled. then he saw a notepinned on the curtain. he went to read it.

'back in an hour,' he read. 'gone for a walk. the guv'nor.'

'oh well, we'll leave the tray then,' said julian. he and dick were just turning to go when they caughtsight of something, the back and front legs of clopper the horse! they stopped, each with the samethought in his mind.

'everyone at supper! the guv'nor gone for an hour. nobody would know if we tried on the legs!'

they looked at one another, and read each other's mind. 'let's have a go at being clopper!'

'come on, quick,' said julian. 'you be the back legs and i'll be the front ones. quick!'

they got into them hurriedly, and julian managed to do up most of the zip. but it wasn't right withoutthe head. had the guv'nor taken it with him? surely not. it would be quite safe in the barn.

'there it is, on that chair under the shawl!' said dick, and they galloped over to get it. julian picked itup. it was rather heavier than he had imagined. he looked inside it to see how far his head went in it,wondering how to work the eyes and mouth.

he put his hand inside, and scrabbled about. a lid fell open in the side of the neck, and out camesome cigarettes, scattering over the floor. 'blow!' said julian. 'i didn't know mr. binks kept hiscigarettes in clopper. pick them up, dick, and i'll put them back. thanks.'

he put the cigarettes back in the little space, and shut the lid on them. then he put the head carefullyover his own. it felt extremely strange.

'there are eye-holes in the neck,' he said to dick. 'that's how mr. binks knew where he was going. ikept wondering why he didn't bump into things more than he did! now - i'm ready. the head seemsto be on firmly. i'll count - one-two, one-two - and we'll walk in time. don't let's start any funny trickstill we're used to clopper. does my voice sound funny inside the neck?'

'most peculiar,' said dick, who was now bending over so that his back made the horse's back, and hisarms were round julian's waist. 'i say, what's that?'

'someone's coming, it's the guv'nor coming back!' said julian in alarm. 'quick, gallop out of the doorbefore we're caught.'

and so, to the guv'nor's enormous surprise clopper galloped very clumsily out of the barn door justas he was coming in, almost knocking him over. at first he didn't realize it was clopper, then he letout a loud roar and gave chase.

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'i can't see,' panted poor julian. 'where am i going? oh thank goodness, it's an empty stable!

quick, let's un-zip ourselves, and you'll have to take this head off for me. i can't manage it myself.'

but alas and alack! the zip got stuck and wouldn't come undone. the boys tugged and pulled but itwasn't a bit of good. it looked as if they had got to be clopper for the rest of the evening!