as a matter of fact, we find the evening subway jam very restful. being neatly rounded in contour, with just a gentle bulge around the equatorial transit, we have devised a very satisfactory system. we make for the most crowded car we can find, and having buffeted our way in, we are perfectly serene. once properly wedged, and provided no one in the immediate neighbourhood is doing anything with any garlic (it is well to avoid the vestibules if one is squeamish in that particular) we lift our feet off the floor, tuck them into the tail of our overcoat, and remain blissfully suspended in midair from chambers street to ninety-sixth. the pressure of our fellow-passengers, powerfully impinging upon the globular perimeter we spoke of, keeps us safely elevated above the floor. we have had some leather stirrups sewed into the bottom of our overcoat, in which we slip our feet to keep them from dangling uncomfortably. another feature of our technique is that we always go into the car with our arms raised and crossed neatly on our chest, so that they will not be caught and pinioned to our flanks. in that position, once we are gently nested[pg 220] among the elastic mass of genial humanity, it is easy to draw out from our waistcoat pocket our copy of boethius's “consolations of philosophy” and really get in a little mental improvement. or, if we have forgotten the book, we gently droop our head into our overcoat collar, lay it softly against the shoulder of the tall man who is always handy, and pass into a tranquil nescience.

the subway is a great consolation to the philosopher if he knows how to make the most of it. think how many people one encounters and never sees again.