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淑女的眼泪 Justine

Chapter 16
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"therese," and nothing could have been more phlegmatic than his manner as he spoke, "i have found a more reliable method than the one i proposed to attain our objectives, but numerous details are involved, and i dare not come so often to your room; at precisely five o'clock be at the corner of the park, i'll join you, we will take a walk together in the woods; while on our promenade i'll explain it all."

i wish to affirm, madame, that, whether because of the influence of providence, whether owing to an excessive candor, whether to blindness, nothing gave me a hint of the terrible misery awaiting me; i believed myself so safe, thanks to the marquise's secret arrangements, that i never for a moment imagined that the count had been able to discover them; nevertheless i was not entirely at ease.

"le parjure est vertu quand on promit le crime," one of our tragic poets has said; but perjury is always odious to a delicate and sensitive spirit which finds itself compelled to resort to it. my role embarrassed me.

however that may be, i came to the rendezvous; the count was not late in getting there; he came up to me very gay and easy, and we set off into the forest; the while he but laughed banteringly and jested, as was his habit when we were together. when i sought to guide the conversation to the subject which he had desired to discuss, he told me to wait yet a little, he said he feared we might be observed, it did not seem to him we were in a safe enough place; very gradually, without my perceiving it, we approached the four trees to which i had been so cruelly bound long ago. upon seeing the place, a quiver ran through me: all the horror of my fate rose up before my eyes, and fancy whether my terror was not doubled when i caught sight of the preparations which had been made in that horrible place. ropes hung from one of the trees; huge mastiffs were leashed to each of the other three and seemed to be waiting for nothing but me in order to fall to sating the hunger announced by their gaping foam-flecked jaws; one of the count's favorites guarded them.

whereupon the perfidious creature ceased to employ all but the very foulest epithets.

"scum," quoth he, "do you recognize that bush whence i dragged you like a wild beast only to spare a life you deserved to lose? do you recognize these trees unto which i threatened to lash you were you ever to give me cause to repent my kindness ? why did you agree to perform the task i demanded, if you intended to betray me to my aunt? and how could you imagine it was virtue you served by imperiling the freedom of him to whom you owe all your happiness? by necessity placed between two crimes, why have you chosen the more abominable?"

"alas ! i did not choose the less..."

"but you should have refused," the count continued, in his rage seizing one of my arms and shaking me furiously, "yes, certainly, refused, and not consented to betray me."

then monsieur de bressac told me how he had gone about the interception of madame's messages, and how the suspicion had been born which had led him to decide to stop them.

"what has your duplicity done for you, unworthy creature? you have risked your life without having saved my aunt's: the die is cast, upon my return to the chateau i will find a fortune awaiting me, but you must perish; before you expire you must learn that the virtuous road is not always the safest, and that there are circumstances in this world when complicity in crime is preferable to informing." and without giving me time to reply, without giving evidence of the least pity for the frightful situation i was in, he dragged me toward the tree destined for me and by which his valet stood expectantly. "here she is," he said, "the creature who wanted to poison my aunt and who may already have committed the terrible crime in spite of my efforts to prevent it; no doubt, it would have been better to have put her into the hands of justice, but the law would have taken away her life, and i prefer to leave it to her in order that she have longer to suffer."

the two villains then lay hands on me, in an instant they strip me naked. "pretty buttocks," said the count in a tone of cruelest irony, brutally handling those objects, "superb flesh... excellent lunch for the dogs." when no article of clothing is left upon me, i am secured to the tree by a rope attached around my waist; so that i may defend myself as best i can, my arms are left free, and enough slack is provided for me to advance or retreat about two yards. the arrangements completed, the count, very much moved, steps up to have a look at my expression, he turns and passes around me; his savage way of handling me seems to say that his murderous fingers would like to dispute the rage of his mastiff's steel teeth....

"come," says he to his lieutenant, "free the animals, the time has arrived."

they are loosed, the count excites them, all three fling themselves upon my poor body, one would think they were sharing it in such wise that not one of its parts would be exempt from assault; in vain i drive them back, they bite and tear me with renewed fury, and throughout this horrible scene, bressac, the craven bressac, as if my torments had ignited his perfidious lust... the beastly man gives himself up, while he regards me, to his companion's criminal caresses.

"enough," said he after several minutes had gone by, "that will do. tie up the dogs and let's abandon this creature to her sweet fate.

"well indeed, therese," says he as he severs my bonds, "virtue is not to be practiced at some expense; a pension of two thousand crowns, would that not have been worth more than the bites you are covered with ?"

but in my state i can scarcely hear him; i slump to the foot of the tree and am about to lose consciousness.

"it is most generous of me to save your life," continues the traitor whom my sufferings inflame, "at least take good care how you make use of this favor...."

then he orders me to get up, dress, and quit the place at once. as my blood is flowing everywhere, in order that my few clothes, the only clothes i have, not be stained, i gather some grass to wipe myself; bressac paces to and fro, much more preoccupied with his thoughts than concerned with me.

my swollen flesh, the blood that continues to stream from my multiple wounds, the atrocious pain i am enduring, everything makes the operation of dressing well nigh impossible; never once does the dishonest man who has just put me into this horrible state... him for whom i once would have sacrificed my life, never once does he deign to show me the least hint of sympathy. when at length i am ready:

"go wherever you wish," says he; "you must have some money left, i will not take it from you, but beware of reappearing at any one of my houses in the city or the country: there are two excellent reasons for not doing so: you may just as well know, first of all, that the affair you thought finished is not at all over. they informed you that the law was done with you; they told you what is not true; the warrant for your arrest still holds, the case is still warm: you were left in this situation so that your conduct might be observed. in the second place, you are going to pass, insofar as the public is concerned, for the marquise's murderer; if she yet breathes, i am going to see to it she carries this notion into the grave, the entire household will share it; and there you have two trials still to face instead of one: instead of a vile usurer, you have for an adversary a rich and powerful man who is determined to hound you into hell itself if you misuse the life his compassion leaves to you."

"oh monsieur !" was my response, "whatever have been your severities with me, fear not that i will retaliate; i thought myself obliged to take steps against you when it was a question of your aunt's life; but where only the unhappy therese is involved, i shall never do anything. adieu, monsieur, may your crimes render you as happy as your cruelties have made me to suffer; and no matter what the fate reserved to me by heaven, while it shall prolong my deplorable life, i shall only employ my days in uttering prayers for you."

the count raised his head; he could not avoid glancing at me upon hearing these words, and, as he beheld me quavering and covered with tears and doubtless was afraid lest he be moved by what he saw, the cruel one went away, and i saw him nevermore.

entirely delivered unto my agony, i fell back again and lay by the tree; there, giving free reign to my hurt, i made the forest resound with my groans; i pressed my stricken frame against the earth, and shed upon the sward all my tears.

"o my god," i cried out, "thou hast so willed it; it was grained in thy eternal decrees that the innocent were to fall unto the guilty and were to be their prey: dispose of me, o lord, i am yet far away from what thou didst suffer for us; may those i endure, as i adore thee, render me worthy someday of what rewards thou keepeth for the lowly, when he hath thee before him in his tribulations, and let his anguishes be unto thy greater glorification!"

night was closing: it was almost beyond my power to move; i was scarcely able to stand erect; i cast my eyes upon the thicket where four years earlier i had slept a night when i had been in circumstances almost as unhappy! i dragged myself along as best i could, and having reached the very same spot, tormented by my still bleeding wounds, overwhelmed by my mind's anxieties and the sorrows of my heart, i passed the cruelest night imaginable.

by dawn, thanks to my youth and my vigorous temperament, some of my strength was restored; greatly terrified by the proximity of that baneful chateau, i started away from it without delay; i left the forest, and resolved at any price to gain the first habitation which might catch my eye, i entered the town of saint-marcel, about five leagues distant from paris; i demanded the address of a surgeon, one was given me; i presented myself and besought him to dress my wounds; i told him that, in connection with some affair at whose source lay love, i had fled my mother's house, quit paris, and during the night had been overtaken in the forest by bandits who in revenge for my resistance to their desires, had set their dogs upon me. rodin, as this artist was called, examined me with the greatest attention, found nothing dangerous about my injuries; had i come to him directly, he said, he would have been able to guarantee that in the space of a fortnight he would have me as fresh and whole as i had been before my adventure; however, the night passed in the open and my worry had infected my wounds, and i could not expect to be well in less than a month. rodin found space in his own house to lodge me, took all possible care of me, and on the thirtieth day there no longer existed upon my body a single vestige of monsieur de bressac's cruelties.

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