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Abbe Mouret's Transgression

Part 3 Chapter 13
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brother archangias, aroused from his slumber, stood erect in the breach, striking the stones with his stick and swearing abominably.

'may the devil break their legs for them! may he drag them to hell by their feet, with their noses trailing in their abomination!'

but when he saw albine driving away the priest, he stopped for a moment in surprise. then he struck the stones yet more vigorously, and burst into a roar of laughter.

'good-bye, you hussy! a pleasant journey to you! go back to your mates the wolves! a priest is no fit companion for such as you.'

then, looking at abbe mouret, he growled:

'i knew you were in there. i saw that the stones had been disturbed. . . . listen to me, monsieur le cure. your sin has made me your superior, and god tells you, through my mouth, that hell has no torments severe enough for a priest who lets himself succumb to the lusts of the flesh. if he were to pardon you now, he would be too indulgent, it would be contrary to his own justice.'

they slowly walked down the hill towards les artaud. the priest had not opened his lips; but gradually he raised his head erect: he was no longer trembling. as in the distance he caught sight of the solitaire looming blackly against the purplish sky, and the ruddy glow of the tiles on the church, a faint smile came to his lips, while to his calm eyes there rose an expression of perfect serenity.

meantime the brother was every now and then giving a vicious kick at the stones that came in his way. presently he turned to his companion:

'is it all over this time?' he asked. 'when i was your age i was possessed too. a demon was ever gnawing at me. but, after a time, he grew weary of it, and took himself off. now that he has gone i live quietly enough. . . . oh! i knew very well that you would go. for three weeks past i have been keeping watch upon you. i used to look into the garden through the breach in the wall. i should have liked to cut the trees down. i have often hurled stones at them; it was delightful to break the branches. tell me, now, is it so very nice to be there?'

he made abbe mouret stop in the middle of the road, and glared at him with a terrible expression of jealousy. the thought of the priest's life in the paradou tortured him. but the abbe kept perfect silence, so archangias set off again, jeering as he went. then, in a louder voice, he said:

'you see, when a priest behaves as you have done, he scandalises every other priest. i myself felt sullied by your conduct. however, you are now behaving more sensibly. there is no need for you to make any confession. i know what has happened well enough. heaven has broken your back for you, as it has done for so many others. so much the better! so much the better!'

he clapped his hands triumphantly. but abbe mouret, immersed in deep reverie, with a smile spreading over his whole face, did not even hear him. when the brother quitted him at the parsonage door, he went round and entered the church. it was grey and gloomy, as on that terrible rainy evening when temptation had racked him so violently. and it still remained poverty-stricken and meditative, bare of all that gleaming gold and sighing passion that had seemed to him to sweep in from the countryside. it preserved solemn silence. but a breath of mercy seemed to fill it.

kneeling before the great christ and bursting into tears, which he let flow down his cheeks as though they were so many blessings, the priest murmured:

'o god, it is not true that thou art pitiless. i know it, i feel it: thou hast already pardoned me. i feel it in the outpouring of thy grace, which, for hours now, has been flowing through me in a sweet stream, bringing me back, slowly but surely, perfect peace and spiritual health. o god, it was at the very moment when i was about to forsake thee that thou didst protect me most effectually. thou didst hide thyself from me, the better to rescue me from evil. thou didst allow my flesh to run its course, that i might be convinced of its nothingness. and now, o god, i see that thou hast for ever marked me with thy seal, that awful seal, pregnant with blessings, which sets a man apart from other men, and whose mark is so ineffaceable that, sooner or later, it makes itself manifest even upon those who sin. thou hast broken me with sin and temptation. thou hast ravaged me with thy flames. thou hast willed that there should be nought left of me save ruins wherein thou mightest safely descend. i am an empty tabernacle wherein thou may'st dwell. blessed art thou, o god!'

he prostrated himself and continued stammering in the dust. the church triumphed. it remained firm and unshaken over the priest's head, with its altars and its confessional, its pulpit, its crosses, and its holy images. the world had ceased to exist. temptation was extinguished like a fire that was henceforth unnecessary for the abbe's purification. he was entering into supernatural peace. and he raised this supreme cry:

'to the exclusion of life and its creatures and of everything that be in it, i belong to thee, o god; to thee, thee alone, through all eternity!'

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