by one of those coincidences for which destiny is sometimes responsible, the two very opposite plain men whom i am going to write about were most happily named mr. alpha and mr. omega; for, owing to a difference of temperament, they stood far apart, at the extreme ends of the scale.

in youth, of course, the differences between them was not fully apparent; such differences seldom are fully apparent in youth. it first made itself felt in a dramatic way, on the evening when mr. alpha wanted to go to the theatre and mr. omega didn’t. at this period they were both young and both married, and the two couples shared a flat together. also, they were both getting on very well in their careers, by which is meant that they both had spare cash to rattle in the pockets of their admirably-creased trousers.

“come to the theatre with us to-night, omega?” said mr. alpha.

“i don’t think we will,” said mr. omega.

“but we particularly want you to,” insisted mr. alpha.

“well, it can’t be done,” said mr. omega.

“got another engagement?”

“no.”

“then why won’t you come? you don’t mean to tell me you’re hard up?”

“yes, i do,” said mr. omega.

“then you ought to be ashamed of yourself. what have you been doing with your money lately?”

“i’ve taken out a biggish life assurance policy, and the premiums will be a strain. i paid the first yesterday. i’m bled white.”

“holy moses!” exclaimed mr. alpha, shrugging his shoulders.

the flat was shortly afterwards to let. the exclamation “holy moses!” may be in itself quite harmless, and innocuous to friendship, if it is pronounced in the right, friendly tone. unfortunately mr. alpha used it with a sarcastic inflection, implying that he regarded mr. omega as a prig, a fussy old person, a miser, a spoilsport, and, indeed, something less than a man.

“you can only live your life once,” said mr. alpha.

and they curved gradually apart. this was in 1893.