4

off to little brockleton

next day was bright and sunny, with big piled up clouds racing over the april sky.

‘like puffs of cotton wool,’ said dinah. ‘i hope it’s going to be like this all the hols.’

‘i’m going to get the car,’ said bill. ‘when i hoot i shall expect you all to be ready. allie, youcan sit in front with me, and lucy-ann must squeeze there too, somehow. the other four can go atthe back. luggage in the boot. and if anyone wants to be dumped on the road and left to walk, heor she has only got to behave badly, and i’ll dump them with pleasure.’

‘i really believe you would too, bill,’ said lucy-ann.

‘oh, not a doubt of it,’ said bill, putting on such a grim face that poor gussy was reallyalarmed. he made up his mind that he would behave superlatively well, and he immediately put onhis finest manners. he opened doors for everyone. he bowed. he tried to take whatever mrscunningham was carrying, and carry it for her. when he got into anyone’s way, which he didalmost every minute, he sprang aside, bowed, and said:

‘excuse, plizz. i pollygize.’

‘polly put the kettle on,’ said kiki, at once. ‘polly, polly-polly-gize.’ then she went off into analarming cackle of laughter.

‘how’s your finger, gus?’ asked jack, politely.

‘it has stopped blidding,’ said gus.

‘well, i warn you – don’t try and play tricks with old kiki,’ said jack, ‘or she’ll go for you –make you blid again – much, much blid!’

‘ah, wicket,’ said gus. ‘i think that bird is not nice.’

‘i bet kiki thinks the same of you!’ said jack. ‘you’re standing in my way. you’d better moveunless you want this suitcase biffing you in the middle.’

‘excuse, plizz. i pollygize,’ said gussy, hurriedly, and skipped out of the way.

at last everything was ready. mrs cunningham’s cleaner came to see them off, promising tolock up after them, and come in every day to clean and dust. bill was hooting loudly. gussy wasso terribly afraid of being left behind that he shot down the front path at top speed.

bill, mrs cunningham and lucy-ann squeezed themselves into the long front seat. the otherfour got into the back. gussy shrank back when he saw that kiki was going with them, apparentlyon jack’s shoulder, next to him.

kiki made a noise like a cork being pulled out of a bottle – pop ! gussy jumped.

kiki cackled, and then popped another cork. ‘ pop ! pop goes the weasel. gussy. fussy-gussygussy-fussy pop !

‘what do you think you’re doing, gussy?’ said jack, seeing the boy slipping from the seat downto the floor.

‘excuse, plizz. i pollygize. the kiki-bird, he spits in my ear – he goes pop !’ explained gussy,from his seat on the floor.

everyone roared. ‘don’t be an ass, gussy,’ said jack. ‘come on up to the seat. squeeze in at theother end if you like, next to dinah. but i warn you – kiki will wander all over the car when she’stired of sitting on my shoulder.’

‘blow your nose,’ said kiki sternly, looking down at the surprised gussy.

‘all ready, behind?’ called bill, putting in the clutch. he pressed down the accelerator, theengine roared a little and the car moved off down the road.

‘heavy load we’ve got,’ said bill. ‘what a family! this car is going to grunt and groan up everyhill!’

it did, though it was a powerful car, and one that bill used in his work. it swallowed up themiles easily, and mrs cunningham was pleased to think they would arrive at their destinationbefore dark.

‘what is the name of the place we are going to, aunt allie?’ asked lucy-ann. ‘oh yes, iremember – little brockleton. are we having a cottage, or what?’

‘yes,’ said aunt allie. ‘it’s called quarry cottage, because an old quarry is nearby. it’s about amile from the village, and i believe only a farmhouse is near. we can get eggs and butter and milkand bread from there, which is lucky.’

‘i shall ask about badgers as soon as i get there,’ said philip, from the back. ‘i wish i could get ayoung badger. i’ve heard they make wonderful pets.’

‘there! i knew you’d start hunting out pets of some kind,’ said dinah. ‘we never can have aholiday without your bringing in mice or birds or insects or even worse creatures.’

‘i’ve been thinking of studying spiders these hols,’ said philip, seriously. ‘amazing creatures,spiders. those great big ones, with hairy legs, are …’

dinah shivered at once. ‘let’s change the subject,’ she said. ‘i don’t know why, but wheneveranyone even mentions spiders i seem to feel one crawling down my back.’

‘oh, gosh – don’t say my spider’s escaped!’ said philip at once, and pretended to look throughhis pockets. gussy watched him in alarm. he didn’t like spiders either.

dinah gave a small shriek. ‘don’t be mean, philip – please, please. you haven’t really got a bigspider, have you?’

‘philip!’ called his mother warningly. ‘you’ll be dumped in the road. remember what billsaid.’

‘all right. i haven’t got a spider,’ said philip, regretfully. ‘you can sit in safety, di. i say, gus,aren’t you uncomfortable down there, on the floor, among our feet? i keep forgetting you’re there.

i hope i haven’t wiped my feet on you yet.’

‘that is not a nice thing to spik,’ said gussy, with dignity. ‘i will be angry to have your feetswiped on me.’

‘let’s play a game,’ said jack, seeing an argument developing. ‘we’ll look out for black dogs –white cats – piebald horses – red bicycles – and ice cream vans. the one who is last to reach ahundred must stop at the next ice cream van and buy ices for us all!’

this sounded exciting to gussy. he scrambled up from the floor at once, and squeezed himselfbeside dinah. bill and mrs cunningham heaved a sigh of relief. now there would be quite a bit ofpeace – everyone would be looking out and counting hard.

gussy was not at all good at this game. he missed any amount of black dogs and white cats, andkept counting ordinary horses instead of piebald ones. he looked very miserable when he was toldthat he couldn’t put all the brown and white horses he had seen into his score.

‘he’s going to cry!’ said philip. ‘wait, gus, wait. take my hanky.’

and he pulled out one of the kitchen tablecloths, which he had neatly purloined just beforecoming away, in spite of his mother’s threats.

gussy found the tablecloth pushed into his hands. he looked at in astonishment – and then hebegan to laugh!

‘ha ha! ho ho! this is cloth, not hanky! i will not weep in this. i will laugh!’

‘good for you, gussy!’ said jack, giving him a pat on the back. ‘laugh away. we like that!’

it was quite a surprise to everyone to find that gussy could actually laugh at a joke againsthimself. they began to think he might not be so bad after all. he stopped playing the countinggame after that, but displayed even more surprising behaviour at the end of the game.

lucy-ann was last to reach a hundred. she felt in her little purse for her money, knowing thatshe must buy ice creams for everyone, because she had lost the game.

‘please, bill, will you stop at the next ice cream van?’ she said. so bill obligingly stopped.

but before lucy-ann could get out, gussy had opened the door at the back, shot out and racedto the ice cream van. ‘seven, plizz,’ he said.

‘wait! i lost, not you!’ shouted lucy-ann, half indignant. then she stared. gussy had taken awallet out of his pocket – a wallet, not a purse! and from it he took a wad of notes – goodgracious, however many had he got? he peeled off the top one and gave it to the ice cream man,who was as surprised as anyone else.

‘you come into a fortune, mate?’ asked the ice cream man. ‘or is your dad a millionaire?’

gussy didn’t understand. he took his change and put it into his pocket. then he carried the icecreams back to the car, and handed round one each, beaming all over his face.

‘thanks, gus,’ said bill, accepting his. ‘but look here, old chap – you can’t carry all that moneyabout with you, you know.’

‘i can,’ said gussy ‘all the term i had it here in my pocket. it is my pocket money, i think. theysaid i could have pocket money.’

‘hm, yes. but a hundred pounds or so in notes is hardly pocket money,’ began bill. ‘yes, yes –i know you kept it in your pocket, but real pocket money is – is – oh, you explain, boys.’

it proved to be very difficult to explain that all those pound notes were not pocket money merelybecause gussy kept them in his pocket. ‘you ought to have handed them in at your school,’ saidphilip.

‘they said i could have pocket money,’ said gussy, obstinately. ‘my uncle gave it to me. it ismine.’

your people must be jolly rich,’ said jack. ‘i bet even bill doesn’t wander round with as manynotes as that. is gus a millionaire or something, bill?’

‘well – his people are well off,’ said bill. he slipped in the clutch again and the car slid off.

‘all the same, he’ll have to hand over those notes to me. he’ll be robbed sooner or later.’

‘he’s going to cry,’ reported dinah. ‘philip, quick – where’s that tablecloth?’

‘i am not going to weep,’ said gussy, with dignity. ‘i am going to be sick. always i am sick in acar. i was yesterday. plizz, mr cunningham, may i be sick?’

‘good gracious!’ said bill, stopping very suddenly indeed. ‘get out of the car, then, quick! pushhim out, dinah. why, oh, why did i let him have that ice cream? he told me yesterday he wasalways carsick.’

mrs cunningham got out to comfort poor gussy, who was now green in the face. ‘he would becarsick!’ said dinah. ‘just the kind of thing he’d have – carsickness.’

‘he can’t help it,’ said lucy-ann. ‘anyway, it’s all over now. he looks fine.’

‘plizz, i am better,’ announced gussy, climbing back in the car.

‘keep the cloth,’ said philip, pushing it at him. ‘it might come in useful if you feel ill again.’

‘everyone ready?’ called bill. ‘well, off we go again. we’ll stop for lunch at one o’clock, andthen we’ll be at little brockleton by tea time, i hope. gussy, yell if you feel queer again.’

‘i am only sick once,’ said gussy. ‘plizz, i have lost my ice cream. will you stop for another?’

‘i will not,’ said bill, firmly. ‘you’re not having any more ice creams in the car. doesn’t anyonewant a nap? it would be so nice for me to drive in peace and quietness! well, next stop, lunch!’