21

horace does not like puffin island

‘lucy-ann – see if you can spot either philip or dinah,’ ordered jack. ‘philip will probably be inthe boat, ready to start her up, if he has to – but dinah will possibly be looking out to see if there isany sign from us.’

lucy-ann stood up. she saw dinah standing a good way off, waiting anxiously at the top of thecleft in the cliff. philip was not to be seen. presumably he was down in the boat.

lucy-ann waved violently. ‘it’s all right. we’ve got him in the hole!’ she yelled.

dinah waved back, then disappeared. she had gone to tell philip. soon the two appeared again,and came through the puffin colony at top speed to hear what had happened.

‘we got him,’ said jack proudly. ‘easy as pie. down he went, plonk!’

‘who’s there?’ enquired horace plaintively. ‘is that somebody else? look here – you’ve justgot to tell me what’s going on here. i’m all at sea.’

‘that’s where we’ll be soon, i hope,’ grinned jack. ‘and in your boat! philip, meet mr horacetripalong.’

‘gosh – is that really his name?’ said philip.

the incensed mr tipperlong roared up the hole. ‘my name is tipperlong and i’ll thank youto remember it. ill-mannered children! you wait till i make a complaint about you, and get youpunished. i never heard of such behaviour in all my life.’

‘you can’t blame him for being wild,’ said jack. ‘he says he’s a-a-i say, mr tripalong, whatdid you say you were?’

‘an ornithologist, ignorant boy!’ yelled mr tipperlong.

‘golly, what’s that?’ said philip innocently, and the others giggled.

‘you let me out of this,’ commanded mr tipperlong, and his head appeared cautiously near theentrance of the hole, ready to bob back if necessary.

it was necessary. ‘look here,’ said jack, exasperated, ‘do you want me to give you a good oldconk on the head before you know i mean what i say? because i will! i don’t want to; but i will! ibet you gave old bill a few blows before you captured him. what’s sauce for the goose is saucefor the gander.’

you’re talking double-dutch,’ said horace, in a disgusted voice. ‘i think you must be mad. doyou mean to tell me you kids are all alone on this island? i don’t believe a word you say. you tellwhoever is in charge of you to come and have a word with me. if you think i’m going to stay heremuch longer, you’re mistaken. i’ve never met such unpleasant children in my life. i supposeyou’re all playing at being just williams. pah!’

this was a lovely noise. kiki, who had been listening with surprise and enjoyment to theanimated conversation, now joined in.

‘pah! pooh! pah! pop!’

she flew to the edge of the hole and looked in. ‘pah!’ she said again, and went off into a cackleof laughter.

horace looked up in fresh alarm. was that really a parrot at the hole entrance – saying ‘pah’ and‘pooh’ to him in that rude way?

‘is that – is that one of the tame puffins you told me about?’ he asked doubtfully.

‘i thought you were an ornithologist,’ said jack in scorn. ‘kiki is a parrot. i should have thoughtanyone would have known that!’

‘but – how can a parrot live here?’ said horace. ‘it’s not a sea-bird. oh, this is all a dream. butwhat a very silly dream!’

at that moment a puffin came down the end of the burrow that led into the back of the hole.

‘arrrrrrr!’ it announced in a deep and guttural voice. mr tipperlong jumped violently. all hecould see in the dimness of the hole was a baleful eye and a big and many-coloured beak.

‘go away,’ he said weakly. ‘shoo!’

‘shoo!’ said kiki from the hole entrance in great delight. ‘pah! pooh! shoo! arrrrrrrrr!’

‘you’re all mad,’ said poor horace. ‘i’m mad too, i suppose. shoo, i tell you!’

the puffin said arrr again and then went back up its burrow. judging by the flow of arrrrs thatcame down the hole, it was telling its wife all about the peculiar puffinman it had just seen in thehole.

‘what are we going to do now we’ve got him?’ said philip in a low voice. ‘i suppose he is anenemy? i mean, – he does sound rather a goof, doesn’t he?’

‘all part of a clever plan,’ said jack. ‘he’s no ornithologist. he’s been told to dress up like agoofy one and act the part. some bird-men are awful goofs, you know. we’ve met them. well,this one is just about too goofy for words – he’s over-acting, if you know what i mean. i’m glad hehasn’t got a revolver. i’ve been afraid of that all the time.’

‘yes. so was i,’ admitted philip. ‘there may be one in the boat. i hope there is. it might comein useful. well, what are we going to do?’

‘do you think he can hear what we’re saying?’ said lucy-ann, looking frightened.

‘no, not if we talk as low as this,’ said philip. ‘jack, the boat is a nice little bit of work. smallerthan the lucky star, but it has a little cabin and will easily take us all, and some food.’

‘are there oars in it, in case we want to cut out the engine and go in quietly to shore anywhere?’

asked jack.

‘yes,’ said philip. ‘i noticed those. have you got a good plan, jack? i keep on and on thinking,but all i can make up my mind about is to sail off in the boat – but where to i don’t know. wewant to escape – but we want to escape to somewhere. and not out of the frying-pan into the fire,either. we’d better do it soon, too, because if dear old tripalong doesn’t get back to the gang withnews pretty soon they’ll send others here.’

‘yes, i’d thought of all that too,’ said jack, and the girls nodded. ‘the thing is – shall we try tomake for the outer islands and find one where a few fishermen live, and try to get help? or shallwe try for the mainland? or shall we hunt for bill?’

there was a silence. everyone was thinking hard. lucy-ann spoke first.

‘i vote for hunting for bill,’ she said. ‘we could try that first, anyway – and then make forsafety afterwards if we’re not successful. but i do think we ought to try to find bill first.’

‘good for you, lucy-ann,’ said jack. ‘that’s what i think. now for some more planning.’

horace tipperlong suddenly demanded their attention again. ‘stop all that talk, talk, talk,’ hecried fretfully. ‘i’m ravenous – and thirsty too. if you’re going to try and starve me to death, sayso. but at least let me know.’

‘we’re not going to starve you. don’t be an ass,’ said jack. ‘lucy-ann, open some tins and givethem to him. and chuck him down some biscuits too. dinah, fill a pan with water from the pool.’

‘right, chief,’ grinned dinah, and went off to the pool in the rocks. horace was handed downthe full pan of water, and some tins and biscuits. he began to eat hungrily. the sight of the foodmade the others feel hungry too.

‘we’ll have a feed as well,’ said philip. ‘shall i take a turn at holding the stick and sitting by thehole, jack?’

‘yes,’ said jack. ‘but mind – give him a good old conk if he so much as shows a hair!’

this was said in a very loud voice, so that horace was sure to hear. but horace said nothing.

apparently he was willing to bide his time now.

the children were soon devouring a tinned chicken, tinned peas which they ate without heating,and a tinned fruit salad with tinned cream, washed down with water from the pool.

‘jolly good,’ said jack, with a comfortable sigh. ‘i feel better. wonderful what food does toyou!’

‘it would make me sick if i ate as much as you’ve just eaten,’ said dinah. ‘you’re a greedy pig.

you ate twice as much as anyone else.’

‘can’t help it,’ said jack. ‘i was twice as hungry. now then – lower your voices, please – we’llmake our plans.’

‘shall we set out at night?’ said philip in a low voice.

‘no,’ said jack at once. ‘we’d never see our way, even in the moonlight. we’d better set offfirst thing tomorrow morning, about dawn. we’ll hope old tripalong is asleep then, so that we canget a good start without his interrupting us.’

‘yes – because we’ll have to leave the hole unguarded when we all go to the boat,’ said lucy-ann.

‘i’d thought of that,’ said jack. ‘you three can go to the boat, take food with you, and ourclothes and rugs – get everything absolutely ready – and then, when you’re ready to start, give mea yell and i’ll come tearing along to join you. you can send dinah up to the top of the cleft towave.’

‘and by the time horace has realised nobody is on guard to conk him on the head, we’ll be outto sea in his boat!’ said dinah, enjoying the thought. ‘poor old horace! i feel quite sorry for him.’

‘i don’t,’ said jack unfeelingly. ‘if he’s bill’s enemy, he’s jolly well mine. he deserves all he’sgot – honestly, except for being tripped into the hole, he’s got nothing much to complain about. ishan’t block him in, when we leave, and put food there, as i thought we would at first. it won’tmatter if he gets out once we’re gone. and i shouldn’t think it will be long before some others ofthe gang come along to see why he hasn’t turned up at home – wherever that is!’

‘it seems a bit of a wild-goose chase to try and find bill, with all these scores of islands tochoose from,’ said philip. ‘but i shouldn’t feel comfortable if we didn’t have a shot, anyway.’

‘nor should i,’ said jack. ‘bill’s often come to our rescue, in other adventures. it’s time wewent to his – if only we can find him. i suppose there’s no doubt but that the enemy have takenhim to their headquarters on some island or other here.’

‘don’t you think it would be a good idea if we got everything ready this evening?’ said dinahsuddenly. ‘you know – all the food in the boat – and rugs and clothes and things – so as not tohave to waste a single minute getting ready tomorrow morning. you said you wanted to set off atdawn.’

‘yes – that’s a good idea,’ said jack. ‘i’ll take a turn at the hole with the stick now if you like,philip – and you help the girls carry things down to the boat. what a bit of luck capturing one likethat! i must say i think we’ve been pretty clever.’

‘pah!’ said kiki. ‘pooh! pah!’

‘sorry you don’t agree, old thing,’ said jack. ‘very sorry. but i still think we have been veryclever!’

‘we’d better leave some food for tripalong, hadn’t we?’ asked dinah. ‘i mean – i know thegang will be along in a day or two to see what has happened to him – but he’ll have to have thingsto eat till they come.’

‘yes. leave him some tins and a tin-opener,’ said jack. ‘and, philip, were there any rugs in theboat, belonging to him?’

‘yes,’ said philip. ‘i’ll bring them back here, after i’ve taken some food to the boat. we’llchuck them down to him. i think we’re being awfully kind to our enemy.’

horace didn’t think so. he got all upset again after a bit, and began to shout wildly down in thehole.

‘this has gone on long enough. you let me out, you little villains! wait till i get my hands onyou! what is the meaning of this, i’d like to know!’

‘oh, don’t keep up the pretence any more, mr horace tripalong,’ said jack, bored. ‘we’reenemies, both of us, and you know it. you open up a bit and tell me where bill is and a few thingsmore. you might get off more lightly in the end, if you do.’

‘who’s this bill you keep talking about?’ said horace in an exasperated tone. ‘look here, areyou playing at pirates or bandits or what? i never heard of anyone being kept prisoner down a holelike this, by a pack of villainous children!’

‘no – i never heard of it either, now i come to think of it,’ said jack. ‘well, dear horace, if youwon’t admit what we all know, keep quiet.’

‘pah!’ said horace, aggravated beyond words.

‘pah!’ said kiki at once, and went to the hole entrance. she looked down.

‘pah! naughty boy! pop goes the weasel! how many times have i told you to shut that door?

god save the queen! pah!’

mr tipperlong listened in amazed horror. was he really and truly mad? could that be a parrottalking to him so rudely?

‘i’ll wring that bird’s neck,’ he said fiercely, and got up.

‘ring the bell, please!’ said kiki, and went off into one of her cackles. then she poked her headin again and screeched like a railway engine in a tunnel. it was absolutely deafening in the holebelow, and horace fell back on the ground defeated.

‘mad! quite mad! all mad!’ he muttered, and, putting his head in his hands, he said no more.