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罗尔德·达尔短篇集

THE VANASHIG GLASS
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the vanashig glass

nearly ten years had passed since the dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but privet drive had hardly changed at all. the sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the dursleys’ front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when mr. dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets — but dudley dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. the room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.

yet harry potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. his aunt petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.

“up! get up! now!”

harry woke with a start. his aunt rapped on the door again.

“up!” she screeched. harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. he rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. it had been a good one. there had been a flying motorcycle in it. he had a funny feeling he’d had the same dream before.

his aunt was back outside the door.

“are you up yet?” she demanded.

“nearly,” said harry.

“well, get a move on, i want you to look after the bacon. and don’t you dare let it burn, i want everything perfect on duddy’s birthday.”

harry groaned.

“what did you say?” his aunt snapped through the door.

“nothing, nothing …”

dudley’s birthday — how could he have forgotten?

harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. he found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on. harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.

when he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. the table was almost hidden beneath all dudley’s birthday presents. it looked as though dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.

exactly why dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to harry, as dudley was very fat and hated exercise — unless of course it involved punching somebody. dudley’s favorite punching bag was harry, but he couldn’t often catch him. harry didn’t look it, but he was very fast.

perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but harry had always been small and skinny for his age. he looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of dudley’s, and dudley was about four times bigger than he was. harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes. he wore round glasses held together with a lot of scotch tape because of all the times dudley had punched him on the nose. the only thing harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning. he had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his aunt petunia was how he had gotten it.

“in the car crash when your parents died,” she had said. “and don’t ask questions.”

don’t ask questions — that was the first rule for a quiet life with the dursleys.

uncle vernon entered the kitchen as harry was turning over the bacon.

“comb your hair!” he barked, by way of a morning greeting.

about once a week, uncle vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that harry needed a haircut. harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place.

harry was frying eggs by the time dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. dudley looked a lot like uncle vernon. he had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. aunt petunia often said that dudley looked like a baby angel — harry often said that dudley looked like a pig in a wig.

harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn’t much room.

dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. his face fell.

“thirty-six,” he said, looking up at his mother and father. “that’s two less than last year.”

“darling, you haven’t counted auntie marge’s present, see, it’s here under this big one from mommy and daddy.”

“all right, thirty-seven then,” said dudley, going red in the face. harry, who could see a huge dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case dudley turned the table over.

aunt petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, “and we’ll buy you another two presents while we’re out today. how’s that, popkin? two more presents. is that all right?”

dudley thought for a moment. it looked like hard work. finally he said slowly, “so i’ll have thirty … thirty …”

“thirty-nine, sweetums,” said aunt petunia.

“oh.” dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. “all right then.”

uncle vernon chuckled.

“little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father. ’atta boy, dudley!” he ruffled dudley’s hair.

at that moment the telephone rang and aunt petunia went to answer it while harry and uncle vernon watched dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a vcr. he was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when aunt petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.

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