wednesday, february 23, 1944

my dearest kitty,

the weather's been wonderful since yesterday, and i've perked up quite a bit. my writing, the best thing i have, is coming along well. i go to the attic almost every morning to get the stale air out of my lungs. this morning when i went there, peter was busy cleaning up. he finished quickly and came over to where i was sitting on my favorite spot on the floor. the two of us looked out at the blue sky, the bare chestnut tree glistening with dew, the seagulls and other birds glinting with silver as they swooped through the air, and we were so moved and entranced that we couldn't speak. he stood with his head against a thick beam, while i sat. we breathed in the air, looked outside and both felt that the spell shouldn't be broken with words. we remained like this for a long while, and by the time he had to go to the loft to chop wood, i knew he was a good, decent boy. he climbed the ladder to the loft, and i followed; during the fifteen minutes he was chopping wood, we didn't say a word either. i watched him from where i was standing, and could see he was obviously doing his best to chop the right way and show off his strength. but i also looked out the open window, letting my eyes roam over a large part of amsterdam, over the rooftops and on to the horizon, a strip of blue so pale it was almost invisible.

"as long as this exists," i thought, "this sunshine and this cloudless sky, and as long as i can enjoy it, how can i be sad?"

the best remedy for those who are frightened, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be alone, alone with the sky, nature and god. for then and only then can you feel that everything is as it should be and that god wants people to be happy amid nature's beauty and simplicity.

as long as this exists, and that should be forever, i know that there will be solace for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances. i firmly believe that nature can bring comfort to all who suffer.

oh, who knows, perhaps it won't be long before i can share this overwhelming feeling of happiness with someone who feels the same as i do.

yours, anne

p.s. thoughts: to peter.

we've been missing out on so much here, so very much, and for such a long time. i miss it just as much as you do. i'm not talking about external things, since we're well provided for in that sense; i mean the internal things. like you, i long for freedom and fresh air, but i think we've been amply compensated for their loss. on the inside, i mean.

this morning, when i was sitting in front of the window and taking a long, deep look outside at god and nature, i was happy, just plain happy. peter, as long as people feel that kind of happiness within themselves, the joy of nature, health and much more besides, they'll always be able to recapture that happiness.

riches, prestige, everything can be lost. but the happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there, as long as you live, to make you happy again.

whenever you're feeling lonely or sad, try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside. not at the houses and the rooftops, but at the sky. as long as you can look fearlessly at the sky, you'll know that you're pure within and will find happiness once more.