and then? and then? i had never been in london before. long ere the ship was steadied at the anchorage mr. charles goode came on board to see his brother and his wife and family. he brought the letters that had come from the colony. for me there were five, all in black. my dear brother died soon after i had left adelaide. there was one dictated by himself, wishing that[pg 105] i would come back, if only to see how his five little children would get along. the necessities of human existence had to be grasped. this suddenly put all thoughts of the continent out of my head. i knew i would have to leave the ship. i was sorrowing; and everyone i knew was going out of the ship. i thought i was going to be ill. so much had gone wrong, and i was face to face with trouble. when i looked in my lap i found a good few sovereigns that one and another had left there while my eyes were filled with tears. some of the ladies told me before we got into the dock that anything they left in their cabins would be for me either to sell or otherwise dispose of. when some people came to see if i had anything to sell i told the carpenter of the ship to do what he liked with them. i was in too much grief at my painful loss to care for them. my brother was only about 30 years of age when he died. i went and saw the rev. dr. oswald dykes, d.d., at oakley-square. i had some mourning made at once and went from shipping office to shipping office to get a berth to return to south australia any how i could manage it. i had a nice letter with the signature of captain bruce. and the passengers also subscribed their names to a testimonial as to my capability on the sea. then i had a parchment, with writing on it, from the owners of the south australian, from their head office in london. i have that yet. it was a terrible time. if i could have got a chance i would have returned at once. i did not care whether it was in a steamboat or not.

after a few days waiting i saw captain alstone, of the city of adelaide, who was taking his wife and a little child in his ship to adelaide. i agreed to be the lady's maid for my passage back to south australia. but they were not likely to start for a month or six weeks. it was a sailing vessel also, and i saw the captain's wife and her dear little boy. i adore children. and the lady was the most perfectly lovely woman i ever looked upon. so i had most of my things put on board the ship. the month of may had just began. i had some letters of introduction from some friends in adelaide to their friends in bradford, near manchester. i had also with me some letters from friends in adelaide to their relatives, with cordial wishes that i would go and see them if i went to glasgow. before i left south australia i formed the resolution to go and see my husband's relations. i had their addresses through writing to john all the long three years he was there. their place was in cambridgeshire. i gave captain alstone the address that would find me if the ship went before the month.

i have kept a record of that time by me ever since. i was close to the tower of london; and there was no charge, so i went in about 11 o'clock and was there till 4 o'clock. i was on the move all the time, and then did not see half of that stronghold. oh! the grandeur and the horrors of it. it was wonderful to think[pg 106] what strife and passion had done during the events of the dark ages of violence and torture. there were men dressed so queerly, with long staves in their hands—the yeomen of the guard—who showed the visitors where persons we read of in history were imprisoned. then the various kinds of armor were arranged in distinctive collections, according to the various periods; while there were all sorts of weapon—swords, and daggers, and axes, with breast and back plates. i saw the torture-room and the awful block and the axe which cut off the heads. it was too grim an atmosphere in which to think of either honor or glory in that fortress of chapels, and vaults and recesses, with dungeons about and beneath the building. what scenes some must have gone through while in their prison lodging. i saw the queen's crown and her sceptre, which is said to be made of pure gold, and ever so many more things of which i have forgotten the names. there was quite a fence all round them, and some of the guards were watchful all the time. there were kings and knights on horseback, just as if they were off to the war. it would have taken a week to see it all. one thing i will never forget. just as i was coming out at the gate one of the officials in charge of the place came after me and touched me on the shoulder. he asked if i had lost my keys. i looked in my handbag and found that i had. he said if i would come back i could have them. i was thankful, for otherwise i should have had to have the locks of my trunks taken off. i asked him how he knew that i had lost the keys. he replied that he knew that i was a stranger, as he had never seen me there before.

"but," i said, "the place was crowded."

"yes," he replied, "but most of those people come here every day."

i only saw a few of the sights of london. i could not imagine being in london as everything seemed so uncertain there. what a place to be alone in london is. i decided to go to cambridge, or, rather, a place a little out of cambridge, called march. all my curiosity in that great city of london was lost amid my tangled affairs. i made enquiry and found out about the train service. i determined that anyway i would chance seeing the people, although i hardly expected that they would care to see me after what had occurred. i knew i had loved and suffered, but i had not sinned. then why should i not see them? i arrived at what seemed a wayside station when it was a bit late. i asked where mr. george allen's house was, and was told that his farm was three miles distant. there was an hotel there, and i asked for a room for the night. i did not want to meet people who might show some aloofness till the following morning. in my portmanteaus there was some printed matter, showing that i had come from australia. the hotelkeeper came into the sitting-room and made enquiries as to whether i had come from there, and alone, and we had a long[pg 107] talk. he knew mr. george. all went very well, and he told me that either he or his wife would drive me over there next day. it was quite cold although only may 2, there being no fire in the room.

both ladies and gentlemen, when australia was mentioned, became interested and the talk became general. i was asked all sorts of questions. it came unexpectedly to me to learn how much the people knew about the colony. i thought then that if the young girls and women in australia could have only heard the manner in which those englishmen spoke about them they would have realised that this is an age of chivalry. according to them the colonial girl can do anything.

in the morning, after breakfast, there was the little pony carriage, with a boy, to take me to mr. allen's house. it had the queer name of hook farm. it was a lovely morning and all the fields were white with daisies. the house was of two storeys and near to the road side. the people promised to wait with the carriage till i came out, if i could not stop there for a day or two. mrs. allen came to the door and i told her who i was. she sent for mr. allen, who was away on the farm. he soon arrived on horseback. the very clasp of his hand made me long to claim kinship with him. he went out and told the boy to bring my portmanteau and i was kindly treated. i found that they had a photograph of me and, as he said, i was no imposition.

there was a large family. the lady was his second wife, and she was nice too. they brought their friends to see me and took me about. i only wanted to stop for a couple of days, as i was anxious to get to scotland, where any letters would be waiting for me, but i stayed over the sunday. all the curios i had brought from the cape mr. allen had shown to the children at the sunday-school, and altogether i had a pleasant time, so far as they could make it one, but still there was the thought as to why john had brought his cousin to adelaide to me. it seems that she left her own husband in oldham. those relations did not think it was right.

how faithful and true i could have been if life had only given me the chance. in three days after we were married he went to england and stayed there for three years. what was the use of my married life? i had hardly strength of purpose to carry anything through. i was sacrificed by ruthless hands, which took from me all that i held dear, and left me without any claim or right, except to submit to everything. oh, the happy women who are sheltered by a husband's faithfulness! what woman could have had a more useful life than i?

mr. allen drove me to the railway-station. the address i had was for some people in bradford, near manchester. in the train i had to keep showing my ticket every here and there. i told them i was going to bradford, and settled myself to have a good[pg 108] view of that beautiful country. when asked where i was going, i said, "bradford." trains and carriages were changed en route, and at last i found myself in bradford, in yorkshire. then i showed my ticket and had it explained that the bradford i wanted was a continuation of manchester. i learned when i got there it bore the same relation as north adelaide to adelaide.

i had some tea in the town of bradford, and got back to manchester that night at about 11 o'clock. the people i was to go to were well known, as they kept the post and telegraph office. in this bradford there was no break, so far as buildings went, and when i saw it afterwards it all seemed manchester. those kind folks had a letter from adelaide to inform them that i would visit them, and expressing the hope that they would try and persuade the mother of the adelaide lady to return with me to adelaide. i got a cab to take me there, but they had gone to bed. how they did laugh when i told them i had gone to yorkshire! i was interested in writing in my note-book all the names of the different places, but it was too much trouble to look at the ticket so many times. however, it was a lesson for me not to neglect the precaution again. although the mistake was purely my own the railway company did not make any charge, and i got all that way back for the manchester ticket. mr. allen got the ticket for me.

only for that incident i would not have seen so many places. the train stopped at wakefield and halifax. it was dark coming back, and i had been in the train all that day, so that i was weary. i had the best bedroom and some supper, and when i awoke in the morning there were all the little children in the room to see the woman that came from aunty's place over the sea. there was the grandma, too, that i was to take back. she shook her head and said—"na, na, i am a true briton; i will never cross the sea. here i was born, and here i will die."

there was plenty to be seen in manchester. mr. ride, with whom i was staying, had a stationery and book shop, as well as the post-office, and the high reputation of mr. and mrs. ride was acknowledged everywhere. they were well-known and respected. he seemed to have the "entree" to all the warehouses. in some of them i saw some busy-looking gentlemen from adelaide hurrying about.

they took me to see the bluecoat boys' school. i made no note of that. i can see those dear boys now. no one could forget them. then we went to oldham and i did not like it so well. it looked a poor place and gloomy, and the humble people wore wooden clogs on their feet. the noise they made was distracting.

i stayed at bradford with those people for a week. what with the people i was introduced to, the places visited, and the hospitality and amusement i received, it was enough to make[pg 109] me forget who i was. for the month of may it was not so warm as i had known it in scotland at that time of the year. the eldest son had the charge of the telegraph-office, and i had the inner workings explained to me.