oh! torture me no more, i will confess.

henry the sixth

you have betrayed her to her own reproof.

comedy of errors

‘and it was true, — i was a prisoner in the inquisition. great emergencies certainly inspire us with the feelings they demand; and many a man has braved a storm on the wide wild ocean, who would have shrunk from its voice as it pealed down his chimney. i believe so it fared with me, — the storm had risen, and i braced myself to meet it. i was in the inquisition, but i knew that my crime, heinous as it was, was not one that came properly under the cognizance of the inquisition. it was a conventual fault of the highest class, but liable only to be punished by the ecclesiastical power. the punishment of a monk who had dared to escape from his convent, might be dreadful enough, — immurement, or death perhaps, but still i was not legitimately a prisoner of the inquisition. i had never, under all my trials, spoken a disrespectful word of the holy catholic church, or a doubtful one of our most holy faith, — i had not dropped one heretical, obnoxious, or equivocal expression, relative to a single point of duty, or article of faith. the preposterous charges of sorcery and possession, brought against me in the convent, had been completely disproved at the visitation of the bishop. my aversion to the monastic state was indeed sufficiently known and fatally proved, but that was no subject for the investigation or penalties of the inquisition. i had nothing to fear from the inquisition, — at least so i said to myself in my prison, and i believed myself. the seventh day after the recovery of my reason was fixed on for my examination, and of this i received due notice, though i believe it is contrary to the usual forms of the inquisition to give this notice; and the examination took place on the day and hour appointed.

‘you are aware, sir, that the tales related in general of the interior discipline of the inquisition, must be in nine out of ten mere fables, as the prisoners are bound by an oath never to disclose what happens within its walls; and they who could violate this oath, would certainly not scruple to violate truth in the details with which their emancipation from it indulges them. i am forbidden, by an oath which i shall never break, to disclose the circumstances of my imprisonment or examination. i am at liberty to mention some general features of both, as they are connected with my extraordinary narrative. my first examination terminated rather favourably; my contumacy and aversion to monasticism were indeed deplored and reprobated, but there was no ulterior hint, — nothing to alarm the peculiar fears of an inmate of the inquisition. so i was as happy as solitude, darkness, straw, bread, and water, could make me, or any one, till, on the fourth night after my first examination, i was awoke by a light gleaming so strongly on my eyes, that i started up. the person then retired with his light, and i discovered a figure sitting in the farthest corner of my cell. delighted at the sight of a human form, i yet had acquired so much of the habit of the inquisition, that i demanded, in a cold and peremptory voice, who had ventured to intrude on the cell of a prisoner? the person answered in the blandest tones that ever soothed the human ear, that he was, like myself, a prisoner in the inquisition; — that, by its indulgence, he had been permitted to visit me, and hoped — ‘and is hope to be named here?’ i could not help exclaiming. he answered in the same soft and deprecatory tone; and, without adverting to our peculiar circumstances, suggested the consolation that might be derived from the society of two sufferers who were indulged with the power of meeting and communicating with each other.

‘this man visited me for several successive nights; and i could not help noticing three extraordinary circumstances in his visits and his appearance. the first was, that he always (when he could) concealed his eyes from me; he sat sideways and backways, shifted his position, changed his seat, held up his hand before his eyes; but when at times he was compelled or surprised to turn their light on me, i felt that i had never beheld such eyes blazing in a mortal face, — in the darkness of my prison, i held up my hand to shield myself from their preternatural glare. the second was, that he came and retired apparently without help or hindrance, — that he came, like one who had a key to the door of my dungeon, at all hours, without leave or forbiddance, — that he traversed the prisons of the inquisition, like one who had a master-key to its deepest recesses. lastly, he spoke not only in a tone of voice clear and audible, totally unlike the whispered communications of the inquisition, but spoke his abhorrence of the whole system, — his indignation against the inquisition, inquisitors, and all their aiders and abettors, from st dominic down to the lowest official, — with such unqualified rage of vituperation, such caustic inveteracy of satire, such unbounded license of ludicrous and yet withering severity, that i trembled.

‘you know, sir, or perhaps have yet to know, that there are persons accredited in the inquisition, who are permitted to solace the solitude of the prisoners, on the condition of obtaining, under the pretence of friendly communication, those secrets which even torture has failed to extort. i discovered in a moment that my visitor was not one of these, — his abuse of the system was too gross, his indignation too unfeigned. yet, in his continued visits, there was one circumstance more, which struck me with a feeling of terror that actually paralyzed and annihilated all the terrors of the inquisition.

‘he constantly alluded to events and personages beyond his possible memory, — then he checked himself, — then he appeared to go on, with a kind of wild and derisive sneer at his own absence. but this perpetual reference to events long past, and men long buried, made an impression on me i cannot describe. his conversation was rich, various, and intelligent, but it was interspersed with such reiterated mention of the dead, that i might be pardoned for feeling as if the speaker was one of them. he dealt much in anecdotical history, and i, who was very ignorant of it, was delighted to listen to him, for he told every thing with the fidelity of an eye-witness. he spoke of the restoration in england, and repeated the well-remembered observation of the queen-mother, henriette of france, — that, had she known as much of the english on her first arrival, as she did on her second, she never would have been driven from the throne; then he added, to my astonishment, i was beside her carriage,1 it was the only one then in london. he afterwards spoke of the superb fetes given by louis quatorze, and described, with an accuracy that made me start, the magnificent chariot in which that monarch personated the god of day, while all the titled pimps and harlots of the court followed as the rabble of olympus. then he reverted to the death of the duchesse d’orleans, sister to charles ii. — to pere bourdaloue’s awful sermon, preached at the death-bed of the royal beauty, dying of poison, (as suspected); and added, i saw the roses heaped on her toilette, to array her for a fete that very night, and near them stood the pix, and tapers, and oil, shrouded with the lace of that very toilette. then he passed to england; he spoke of the wretched and well-rebuked pride of the wife of james ii. who ‘thought it scorn’ to sit at the same table with an irish officer who informed her husband (then duke of york) that he had sat at table, as an officer in the austrian service, where the duchess’s father (duke of modena) had stood behind a chair, as a vassal to the emperor of germany.

1 i have read this somewhere, but cannot believe it. coaches are mentioned by beaumont and fletcher, and even glass-coaches by butler, in his ‘remains.’

‘these circumstances were trifling, and might be told by any one, but there was a minuteness and circumstantiality in his details, that perpetually forced on the mind the idea that he had himself seen what he described, and been conversant with the personages he spoke of. i listened to him with an indefinable mixture of curiosity and terror. at last, while relating a trifling but characteristic circumstance that occurred in the reign of louis the thirteenth, he used the following expressions1: ‘one night that the king was at an entertainment, where cardinal richelieu also was present, the cardinal had the insolence to rush out of the apartment before his majesty, just as the coach of the latter was announced. the king, without any indignant notice of the arrogance of the minister, said, with much bon hommie, ‘his eminence the cardinal will always be first.’ — ‘the first to attend your majesty,’ answered the cardinal, with admirable polite presence of mind; and, snatching a flambeau from a page who stood near me, he lighted the king to his carriage.’ i could not help catching at the extraordinary words that had escaped him; and i asked him, ‘were you there?’ he gave some indirect answer; and, avoiding the subject, went on to amuse me with some other curious circumstances of the private history of that age, of which he spoke with a minute fidelity somewhat alarming. i confess my pleasure in listening to them was greatly diminished by the singular sensation with which this man’s presence and conversation inspired me. he departed, and i regretted his absence, though i could not account for the extraordinary feeling which i experienced during his visits.

1 this circumstance is related, i believe, in the jewish spy.

‘a few days after i was to encounter my second examination. the night before it one of the officials visited me. these are men who are not the common officers of a prison, but accredited in some degree by the higher powers of the inquisition, and i paid due respect to his communications, particularly as they were delivered more in detail, and with more emphasis and energy than i could have expected from an inmate of that speechless mansion. this circumstance made me expect something extraordinary, and his discourse verified all, and more than i expected. he told me in plain terms, that there had been lately a cause of disturbance and inquietude, which had never before occurred in the inquisition. that it was reported a human figure had appeared in the cells of some of the prisoners, uttering words not only hostile to the catholic religion, and the discipline of the most holy inquisition, but to religion in general, to the belief of a god and a future state. he added, that the utmost vigilance of the officials, on the rack for discovery, had never been able to trace this being in his visits to the cells of the prisoners; that the guards had been doubled, and every precaution that the circumspection of the inquisition could employ, was had recourse to, hitherto without success; and that the only intimation they had of this singular visitor, was from some of the prisoners whose cells he had entered, and whom he had addressed in language that seemed lent him by the enemy of mankind, to accomplish the perdition of these unhappy beings. he himself had hitherto eluded all discovery; but he trusted, that, with the means lately adopted, it was impossible for this agent of the evil one to insult and baffle the holy tribunal much longer. he advised me to be prepared on this point, as it would undoubtedly be touched on at my next examination, and perhaps more urgently than i might otherwise imagine; and so, commending me to the holy keeping of god, he departed.

‘not wholly unconscious of the subject alluded to in this extraordinary communication, but perfectly innocent of any ulterior signification, as far as related to myself, i awaited my next examination rather with hope than fear. after the usual questions of — why i was there? who had accused me? for what offence? whether i could recollect any expression that had ever intimated a disregard for the tenets of the holy church? &c. &c. &c. — after all this had been gone through, in a detail that may be spared the hearer, certain extraordinary questions were proposed to me, that appeared to relate indirectly to the appearance of my late visitor. i answered them with a sincerity that seemed to make a frightful impression on my judges. i stated plainly, in answer to their questions, that a person had appeared in my dungeon. ‘you must call it cell,’ said the supreme. ‘in my cell, then. he spoke with the utmost severity of the holy office, — he uttered words that it would not be respectful for me to repeat. i could scarcely believe that such a person would be permitted to visit the dungeons (cells, i should say) of the holy inquisition.’ as i uttered these words, one of the judges, trembling on his seat, (while his shadow, magnified by the imperfect light, pictured the figure of a paralytic giant on the wall opposite to me), attempted to address some question to me. as he spoke, there came a hollow sound from his throat, his eyes were rolled upwards in their sockets, — he was in an apoplectic paroxysm, and died before he could be removed to another apartment. the examination terminated suddenly, and in some confusion; but, as i was remanded back to my cell, i could perceive, to my consternation, that i had left an impression the most unfavourable on the minds of the judges. they interpreted this accidental circumstance in a manner the most extraordinary and unjust, and i felt the consequences of it at my next examination.

‘that night i received a visit in my cell from one of the judges of the inquisition, who conversed with me a considerable time, and in an earnest and dispassionate manner. he stated the atrocious and revolting character under which i appeared from the first before the inquisition, — that of a monk who had apostatized, had been accused of the crime of sorcery in his convent, and, in his impious attempt at escape, had caused the death of his brother, whom he had seduced to join in it, and had overwhelmed one of the first families with despair and disgrace. here i was going to reply, but he stopped me, and observed, that he came not to listen, but to speak; and went on to inform me, that though i had been acquitted of the charge of communication with the evil spirit at the visitation of the bishop, certain suspicions attached to me had been fearfully strengthened, by the fact that the visits of the extraordinary being, of whom i had heard enough to assure me of his actuality, had never been known in the prison of the inquisition till my entrance into it. that the fair and probable conclusion was, that i was really the victim of the enemy of mankind, whose power (through the reluctant permission of god and st dominic, and he crossed himself as he spoke) had been suffered to range even through the walls of the holy office. he cautioned me, in severe but plain terms, against the danger of the situation in which i was placed, by the suspicions universally and (he feared) too justly attached to me; and, finally, adjured me, as i valued my salvation, to place my entire confidence in the mercy of the holy office, and, if the figure should visit me again, to watch what its impure lips might suggest, and faithfully report it to the holy office.

‘when the inquisitor had departed, i reflected on what he had said. i conceived it was something like the conspiracies so often occurring in the convent. i conceived that this might be an attempt to involve me in some plot against myself, something in which i might be led to be active in my own condemnation, — i felt the necessity of vigilant and breathless caution. i knew myself innocent, and this is a consciousness that defies even the inquisition itself; but, within the walls of the inquisition, the consciousness, and the defiance it inspires, are alike vain. i finally resolved, however, to watch every circumstance that might occur within the walls of my cell very closely, threatened as i was at once by the powers of the inquisition, and those of the infernal demon, and i had not long to watch. it was on the second night after my examination, that i saw this person enter my cell. my first impulse was to call aloud for the officials of the inquisition. i felt a kind of vacillation i cannot describe, between throwing myself into the power of the inquisition, or the power of this extraordinary being, more formidable perhaps than all the inquisitors on earth, from madrid to goa. i dreaded imposition on both sides. i believed that they were playing off terror against terror; i knew not what to believe or think. i felt myself surrounded by enemies on every side, and would have given my heart to those who would first throw off the mask, and announce themselves as my decided and avowed enemy. after some reflection, i judged it best to distrust the inquisition, and to hear all that this extraordinary visitor had to say. in my secret soul i believed him their secret agent, — i did them great injustice. his conversation on this second visit was more than usually amusing, but it was certainly such as might justify all the suspicions of the inquisitors. at every sentence he uttered, i was disposed to start up and call for the officials. then i represented to myself his turning accuser, and pointing me out as the victim of their condemnation. i trembled at the idea of committing myself by a word, while in the power of that dreadful body that might condemn me to expire under the torture, — or, worse, to die the long and lingering death of inanity, — the mind famished, the body scarcely fed, — the annihilation of hopeless and interminable solitude, — the terrible inversion of natural feeling, that makes life the object of deprecation, and death of indulgence.

‘the result was, that i sat and listened to the conversation (if it may be called so) of this extraordinary visitor, who appeared to regard the walls of the inquisition no more than those of a domestic apartment, and who seated himself beside me as quietly as if he had been reposing on the most luxurious sofa that ever was arrayed by the fingers of voluptuousness. my senses were so bewildered, my mind so disarranged, that i can hardly remember his conversation. part of it ran thus: ‘you are a prisoner of the inquisition. the holy office, no doubt, is instituted for wise purposes, beyond the cognizance of sinful beings like us; but, as far as we can judge, its prisoners are not only insensible of, but shamefully ungrateful for, the benefits they might derive from its provident vigilance. for instance, you, who are accused of sorcery, fratricide, and plunging an illustrious and affectionate family in despair, by your atrocious misconduct, and who are now fortunately restrained from farther outrages against nature, religion, and society, by your salutary confinement here; — you, i venture to say, are so unconscious of these blessings, that it is your earnest desire to escape from the further enjoyment of them. in a word, i am convinced that the secret wish of your heart (unconverted by all the profusion of charity which has been heaped on you by the holy office) is not on any account to increase the burden of your obligation to them, but, on the contrary, to diminish as much as possible the grief these worthy persons must feel, as long as your residence pollutes their holy walls, by abridging its period, even long before they intend you should do so. your wish is to escape from the prison of the holy office, if possible, — you know it is.’ i did not answer a word. i felt a terror at this wild and fierce irony, — i felt a terror at the mention of escape, (i had fatal reasons for this feeling), — a terror of every thing, and every one near me, indescribable. i believed myself tottering on a narrow ridge, — an al-araf, between the alternate gulphs which the infernal spirit and the inquisition (not less dreaded) disclosed on each side of my trembling march. i compressed my lips, — i hardly suffered my breath to escape.

‘the speaker went on. ‘with regard to your escape, though i can promise that to you, (and that is what no human power can promise you), you must be aware of the difficulty which will attend it, — and, should that difficulty terrify you, will you hesitate?’ still i was silent; — my visitor perhaps took this for the silence of doubt. he went on. ‘perhaps you think that your lingering here, amid the dungeons of the inquisition, will infallibly secure your salvation. there is no error more absurd, and yet more rooted in the heart of man, than the belief that his sufferings will promote his spiritual safety.’ here i thought myself safe in rejoining, that i felt, — i trusted, my sufferings here would indeed be accepted as a partial mitigation of my well-merited punishment hereafter. i acknowledged my many errors, — i professed myself as penitent for my misfortunes as if they had been crimes; and the energy of my grief combining with the innocence of my heart, i commended myself to the almighty with an unction i really felt, — i called on the names of god, the saviour, and the virgin, with the earnest supplication of sincere devoutness. when i had risen from my knees, my visitor had retired. * * * * *

‘examination followed examination before the judges, with a rapidity unexampled in the annals of the inquisition. alas! that they should be annals, — that they should be more than records of one day of abuse, oppression, falsehood, and torture. at my next examination before the judges, i was interrogated according to the usual forms, and afterwards was led, by questions as artfully constructed, as if there was any necessity for art to lead me, to speak to the question on which i longed to disburden myself. the moment the subject was mentioned, i entered on my narrative with an eagerness of sincerity that would have undeceived any but inquisitors. i announced that i had received another visit from this unknown being. i repeated, with breathless and trembling eagerness, every word of our late conference. i did not suppress a syllable of the insults on the holy office, the wild and fiend-like acrimony of his satire, the avowed atheism, the diabolism of his conversation, — i dwelt on every particular. i hoped to make merit with the inquisition, by accusing their enemy, and that of mankind. oh! there is no telling the agony of zeal with which we work between two mortal adversaries, hoping to make a friend of one of them! i had suffered enough already from the inquisition, but at this moment i would have crouched at the knees of the inquisitors, — i would have pleaded for the place of the meanest official in their prison, — i would have supplicated for the loathsome office of their executioner, — i would have encountered any thing that the inquisition could inflict, to be spared the horror of being imagined the ally of the enemy of souls. to my distraction, i perceived that every word i uttered, in all the agony of truth, — in all the hopeless eloquence of a soul struggling with the fiends who are bearing it beyond the reach of mercy, was disregarded. the judges appeared struck, indeed, by the earnestness with which i spoke. they gave, for a moment, a kind of instinctive credit to my words, extorted by terror; but, a moment after, i could perceive that i, and not my communication, was the object of that terror. they seemed to view me through a distorting atmosphere of mystery and suspicion. they urged me, over and over again, for further particulars, — for ulterior circumstances, — for something that was in their minds, but not in mine. the more pains they took to construct their questions skilfully, the more unintelligible they became to me. i had told all i knew, i was anxious to tell all, but i could not tell more than i knew, and the agony of my solicitude to meet the object of the judges, was aggravated in proportion to my ignorance of it. on being remanded to my cell, i was warned, in the most solemn manner, that if i neglected to watch, remember, and report every word uttered by the extraordinary being, whose visits they tacitly acknowledged they could neither prevent or detect, i might expect the utmost severity of the holy office. i promised all this, — all that could be demanded, and, finally, as the last proof i could give of my sincerity, i implored that some one might be allowed to pass the night in my cell, — or, if that was contrary to the rules of the inquisition, that one of the guard might be stationed in the passage communicating with my cell, to whom i could, by a signal agreed on, intimate when this nameless being burst on me, and his impious intrusion might be at once detected and punished. in speaking thus, i was indulged with a privilege very unusual in the inquisition, where the prisoner is only to answer questions, but never to speak unless when called on. my proposal, however, caused some consultation; and it was with horror i found, on its termination, that not one of the officials, even under the discipline of the inquisition, would undertake the task of watching at the door of my cell.

‘i went back to it in an agony inexpressible. the more i had laboured to clear myself, the more i had become involved. my only resource and consolation was in a determination to obey, to the strictest letter, the injunctions of the inquisition. i kept myself studiously awake, — he came not all that night. towards the morning i slept, — oh what a sleep was mine! — the genii, or the demons of the place, seemed busy in the dream that haunted me. i am convinced that a real victim of an auto da fe (so called) never suffered more during his horrible procession to flames temporal and eternal, than i did during that dream. i dreamed that the judgement had passed, — the bell had tolled, — and we marched out from the prison of the inquisition; — my crime was proved, and my sentence determined, as an apostate monk and a diabolical heretic. the procession commenced, — the dominicans went first, then followed the penitents, arms and feet bare, each hand holding a wax taper, some with san benitos, some without, all pale, haggard, and breathless, the hue of their faces frightfully resembling that of their clay-coloured arms and feet. then followed those who had on their black dresses the fuego revolto.1 then followed — i saw myself; and this horrid tracing of yourself in a dream, — this haunting of yourself by your own spectre, while you still live, is perhaps a curse almost equal to your crimes visiting you in the punishments of eternity. i saw myself in the garment of condemnation, the flames pointing upwards, while the demons painted on my dress were mocked by the demons who beset my feet, and hovered round my temples. the jesuits on each side of me, urged me to consider the difference between these painted fires, and those which were about to enwrap my writhing soul for an eternity of ages. all the bells of madrid seemed to be ringing in my ears. there was no light but a dull twilight, such as one always sees in his sleep, (no man ever dreamed of sun-light); — there was a dim and smoky blaze of torches in my eyes, whose flames were soon to be in my eyes. i saw the stage before me, — i was chained to the chair, amid the ringing of bells, the preaching of the jesuits, and the shouts of the multitude. a splendid amphitheatre stood opposite, — the king and queen of spain, and all the nobility and hierarchy of the land, were there to see us burn. our thoughts in dreams wander; i had heard a story of an auto da fe, where a young jewess, not sixteen, doomed to be burnt alive, had prostrated herself before the queen, and exclaimed, ‘save me, — save me, do not let me burn, my only crime is believing in the god of my fathers;’ — the queen (i believe elizabeth of france, wife of philip) wept, but the procession went on. something like this crossed my dream. i saw the supplicant rejected; the next moment the figure was that of my brother juan, who clung to me, shrieking, ‘save me, save me.’ the next moment i was chained to my chair again, — the fires were lit, the bells rang out, the litanies were sung; — my feet were scorched to a cinder, — my muscles cracked, my blood and marrow hissed, my flesh consumed like shrinking leather, — the bones of my legs hung two black withering and moveless sticks in the ascending blaze; — it ascended, caught my hair, — i was crowned with fire, — my head was a ball of molten metal, my eyes flashed and melted in their sockets; — i opened my mouth, it drank fire, — i closed it, the fire was within, — and still the bells rung on, and the crowd shouted, and the king and queen, and all the nobility and priesthood, looked on, and we burned, and burned! — i was a cinder body and soul in my dream.

1 flames reversed, intimating that the criminal is not to be burned.

‘i awoke from it with the horrible exclamation — ever shrieked, never heard — of those wretches, when the fires are climbing fast and fell, — misericordia por amor di dios! my own screams awoke me, — i was in my prison, and beside me stood the tempter. with an impulse i could not resist, — an impulse borrowed from the horrors of my dream, i flung myself at his feet, and called on him to ‘save me.’

‘i know not, sir, nor is it a problem to be solved by human intellect, whether this inscrutable being had not the power to influence my dreams, and dictate to a tempting demon the images which had driven me to fling myself at his feet for hope and safety. however it was, he certainly took advantage of my agony, half-visionary, half-real as it was, and, while proving to me that he had the power of effecting my escape from the inquisition, proposed to me that incommunicable condition which i am forbid to reveal, except in the act of confession.’

here melmoth could not forbear remembering the incommunicable condition proposed to stanton in the mad-house, — he shuddered, and was silent. the spaniard went on.

‘at my next examination, the questions were more eager and earnest than ever, and i was more anxious to be heard than questioned; so, in spite of the eternal circumspection and formality of an inquisitorial examination, we soon came to understand each other. i had an object to gain, and they had nothing to lose by my gaining that object. i confessed, without hesitation, that i had received another visit from that most mysterious being, who could penetrate the recesses of the inquisition, without either its leave or prevention, (the judges trembled on their seats, as i uttered these words); — that i was most willing to disclose all that had transpired at our last conference, but that i required to first confess to a priest, and receive absolution. this, though quite contrary to the rules of the inquisition, was, on this extraordinary occasion, complied with. a black curtain was dropt before one of the recesses; i knelt down before a priest, and confided to him that tremendous secret, which, according to the rules of the catholic church, can never be disclosed by the confessor but to the pope. i do not understand how the business was managed, but i was called on to repeat the same confession before the inquisitors. i repeated it word for word, saving only the words that my oath, and my consciousness of the holy secret of confession, forbade me to disclose. the sincerity of this confession, i thought, would have worked a miracle for me, — and so it did, but not the miracle that i expected. they required from me that incommunicable secret; i announced it was in the bosom of the priest to whom i had confessed. they whispered, and seemed to debate about the torture.

‘at this time, as may be supposed, i cast an anxious and miserable look round the apartment, where the large crucifix, thirteen feet high, stood bending above the seat of the supreme. at this moment i saw a person seated at the table covered with black cloth, intensely busy as a secretary, or person employed in taking down the depositions of the accused. as i was led near the table, this person flashed a look of recognition on me, — he was my dreaded companion, — he was an official now of the inquisition. i gave all up the moment i saw his ferocious and lurking scowl, like that of the tiger before he springs from his jungle, or the wolf from his den. this person threw on me looks, from time to time, which i could not mistake, and i dared not interpret; — and i had reason to believe that the tremendous sentence pronounced against me, issued, if not from his lips, at least from his dictation. — ‘you, alonzo di mon?ada, monk, professed of the order of —— — accused of the crimes of heresy, apostacy, fratricide, (‘oh no, — no!’ i shrieked, but no one heeded me), and conspiracy with the enemy of mankind against the peace of the community in which you professed yourself a votary of god, and against the authority of the holy office; accused, moreover, of intercourse in your cell, the prison of the holy office, with an infernal messenger of the foe of god, man, and your own apostatized soul; condemned on your own confession of the infernal spirit having had access to your cell, — are hereby delivered to — ’

‘i heard no more. i exclaimed, but my voice was drowned in the murmur of the officials. the crucifix suspended behind the chair of the judge, rocked and reeled before my eyes; the lamp that hung from the ceiling, seemed to send forth twenty lights. i held up my hands in abjuration — they were held down by stronger hands. i tried to speak — my mouth was stopped. i sunk on my knees — on my knees i was about to be dragged away, when an aged inquisitor giving a sign to the officials, i was released for a few moments, and he addressed me in these words — words rendered terrible by the sincerity of the speaker. from his age, from his sudden interposition, i had expected mercy. he was a very old man — he had been blind for twenty years; and as he rose to speak my malediction, my thoughts wandered from appius claudius of rome, — blessing the loss of sight, that saved him from beholding the disgrace of his country, — to that blind chief inquisitor of spain, who assured philip, that in sacrificing his son, he imitated the almighty, who had sacrificed his son also for the salvation of mankind. — horrid profanation! yet striking application to the bosom of a catholic. the words of the inquisitor were these: ‘wretch, apostate, and excommunicate, i bless god that these withered balls can no longer behold you. the demon has haunted you from your birth — you were born in sin — fiends rocked your cradle, and dipt their talons in the holy font, while they mocked the sponsors of your unsanctified baptism. illegitimate and accursed, you were always the burden of the holy church; and now, the infernal spirit comes to claim his own, and you acknowledge him as your lord and master. he has sought and sealed you as his own, even amid the prison of the inquisition. begone, accursed, we deliver you over to the secular arm, praying that it may deal with you not too severely.’ at these terrible words, whose meaning i understood but too well, i uttered one shriek of agony — the only human sound ever heard within the walls of the inquisition. but i was borne away; and that cry into which i had thrown the whole strength of nature, was heeded no more than a cry from the torture room. on my return to my cell, i felt convinced the whole was a scheme of inquisitorial art, to involve me in self-accusation, (their constant object when they can effect it), and punish me for a crime, while i was guilty only of an extorted confession.

‘with compunction and anguish unutterable, i execrated my own beast-like and credulous stupidity. could any but an idiot, a driveller, have been the victim of such a plot? was it in nature to believe that the prisons of the inquisition could be traversed at will by a stranger whom no one could discover or apprehend? that such a being could enter cells impervious to human power, and hold conversation with the prisoners at his pleasure — appear and disappear — insult, ridicule, and blaspheme — propose escape, and point out the means with a precision and facility, that must be the result of calm and profound calculation — and this within the walls of the inquisition, almost in the hearing of the judges — actually in the hearing of the guards, who night and day paced the passages with sleepless and inquisitorial vigilance? — ridiculous, monstrous, impossible! it was all a plot to betray me to self-condemnation. my visitor was an agent and accomplice of the inquisition, and i was my own betrayer and executioner. such was my conclusion; and, hopeless as it was, it certainly seemed probable.

‘i had now nothing to await but the most dreadful of all destinations, amid the darkness and silence of my cell, where the total suspension of the stranger’s visits confirmed me every hour in my conviction of their nature and purport, when an event occurred, whose consequences alike defeated fear, hope, and calculation. this was the great fire that broke out within the walls of the inquisition, about the close of the last century.

‘it was on the night of the 29th november 17 — that this extraordinary circumstance took place — extraordinary from the well-known precautions adopted by the vigilance of the holy office against such an accident, and also from the very small quantity of fuel consumed within its walls. on the first intimation that the fire was spreading rapidly, and threatened danger, the prisoners were ordered to be brought from their cells, and guarded in a court of the prison. i must acknowledge we were treated with great humanity and consideration. we were conducted deliberately from our cells, placed each of us between two guards, who did us no violence, nor used harsh language, but assured us, from time to time, that if the danger became imminent, we would be permitted every fair opportunity to effect our escape. it was a subject worthy of the pencil of salvator rosa, or of murillo, to sketch us as we stood. our dismal garbs and squalid looks, contrasted with the equally dark, but imposing and authoritative looks of the guards and officials, all displayed by the light of torches, which burned, or appeared to burn, fainter and fainter, as the flames rose and roared in triumph above the towers of the inquisition. the heavens were all on fire — and the torches, held no longer in firm hands, gave a tremulous and pallid light. it seemed to me like a wildly painted picture of the last day. god appeared descending in the light that enveloped the skies — and we stood pale and shuddering in the light below.

‘among the groupe of prisoners, there were fathers and sons, who perhaps had been inmates of adjacent cells for years, without being conscious of each others vicinity or existence — but they did not dare to recognize each other. was not this like the day of judgement, where similar mortal relations may meet under different classes of the sheep and goats, without presuming to acknowledge the strayed one amid the flock of a different shepherd? there were also parents and children who did recognize and stretch out their wasted arms to each other, though feeling they must never meet, — some of them condemned to the flames, some to imprisonment, and some to the official duties of the inquisition, as a mitigation of their sentence, — and was not this like the day of judgement, where parent and child may be allotted different destinations, and the arms that would attest the last proof of mortal affection, are expanded in vain over the gulph of eternity. behind and around us stood the officials and guards of the inquisition, all watching and intent on the progress of the flames, but fearless of the result with regard to themselves. such may be the feeling of those spirits who watch the doom of the almighty, and know the destination of those they are appointed to watch. and is not this like the day of judgement? far, far, above us, the flames burst out in volumes, in solid masses of fire, spiring up to the burning heavens. the towers of the inquisition shrunk into cinders — that tremendous monument of the power, and crime, and gloom of the human mind, was wasting like a scroll in the fire. will it not be thus also at the day of judgement? assistance was slowly brought — spaniards are very indolent — the engines played imperfectly — the danger increased — the fire blazed higher and higher — the persons employed to work the engines, paralyzed by terror, fell to the ground, and called on every saint they could think of, to arrest the progress of the flames. their exclamations were so loud and earnest, that really the saints must have been deaf, or must have felt a particular predilection for a conflagration, not to attend to them. however it was, the fire went on. every bell in madrid rang out. — orders were issued to every alcaide to be had. — the king of spain himself, (after a hard day’s shooting1), attended in person. the churches were all lit up, and thousands of the devout supplicated on their knees by torch-light, or whatever light they could get, that the reprobate souls confined in the inquisition might feel the fires that were consuming its walls, as merely a slight foretaste of the fires that glowed for them for ever and ever. the fire went on, doing its dreadful work, and heeding kings and priests no more than if they were firemen. i am convinced twenty able men, accustomed to such business, could have quenched the fire; but when our workmen should have played their engines, they were all on their knees.

1 the passion of the late king of spain for field sports was well known.

‘the flames at last began to descend into the court. then commenced a scene of horror indescribable. the wretches who had been doomed to the flames, imagined their hour was come. idiots from long confinement, and submissive as the holy office could require, they became delirious as they saw the flames approaching, and shrieked audibly, ‘spare me — spare me — put me to as little torture as you can.’ others, kneeling to the approaching flames, invoked them as saints. they dreamt they saw the visions they had worshipped, — the holy angels, and even the blessed virgin, descending in flames to receive their souls as parting from the stake; and they howled out their allelujahs half in horror, half in hope. amid this scene of distraction, the inquisitors stood their ground. it was admirable to see their firm and solemn array. as the flames prevailed, they never faultered with foot, or gave a sign with hand, or winked with eye; — their duty, their stern and heartless duty, seemed to be the only principle and motive of their existence. they seemed a phalanx clad in iron impenetrable. when the fires roared, they crossed themselves calmly; — when the prisoners shrieked, they gave a signal for silence; — when they dared to pray, they tore them from their knees, and hinted the inutility of prayer at such a juncture, when they might be sure that the flames they were deprecating would burn hotter in a region from which there was neither escape or hope of departure. at this moment, while standing amid the groupe of prisoners, my eyes were struck by an extraordinary spectacle. perhaps it is amid the moments of despair, that imagination has most power, and they who have suffered, can best describe and feel. in the burning light, the steeple of the dominican church was as visible as at noon-day. it was close to the prison of the inquisition. the night was intensely dark, but so strong was the light of the conflagration, that i could see the spire blazing, from the reflected lustre, like a meteor. the hands of the clock were as visible as if a torch was held before them; and this calm and silent progress of time, amid the tumultuous confusion of midnight horrors, — this scene of the physical and mental world in an agony of fruitless and incessant motion, might have suggested a profound and singular image, had not my whole attention been rivetted to a human figure placed on a pinnacle of the spire, and surveying the scene in perfect tranquillity. it was a figure not to be mistaken — it was the figure of him who had visited me in the cells of the inquisition. the hopes of my justification made me forget every thing. i called aloud on the guard, and pointed out the figure, visible as it was in that strong light to every eye. no one had time, however, to give a glance towards it. at that very moment, the archway of the court opposite to us gave way, and sunk in ruins at our feet, dashing, as it fell, an ocean of flame against us. one wild shriek burst from every lip at that moment. prisoners, guards, and inquisitors, all shrunk together, mingled in one groupe of terror.

‘the next instant, the flames being suppressed by the fall of such a mass of stone, there arose such a blinding cloud of smoke and dust, that it was impossible to distinguish the face or figure of those who were next you. the confusion was increased by the contrast of this sudden darkness, to the intolerable light that had been drying up our sight for the last hour, and by the cries of those who, being near the arch, lay maimed and writhing under its fragments. amid shrieks, and darkness, and flames, a space lay open before me. the thought, the motion, were simultaneous — no one saw — no one pursued; — and hours before my absence could be discovered, or an inquiry be made after me, i had struggled safe and secret through the ruins, and was in the streets of madrid.

‘to those who have escaped present and extreme peril, all other peril seems trifling. the wretch who has swum from a wreck cares not on what shore he is cast; and though madrid was in fact only a wider prison of the inquisition to me, in knowing that i was no longer in the hands of the officials, i felt a delirious and indefinite consciousness of safety. had i reflected for a moment, i must have known, that my peculiar dress and bare feet must betray me wherever i went. the conjuncture, however, was very favourable to me — the streets were totally deserted; — every inhabitant who was not in bed, or bed-rid, was in the churches, deprecating the wrath of heaven, and praying for the extinction of the flames.

‘i ran on, i know not where, till i could run no longer. the pure air, which i had been so long unaccustomed to breathe, acted like the most torturing spicula on my throat and lungs as i flew along, and utterly deprived me of the power of respiration, which at first it appeared to restore. i saw a building near me, whose large doors were open. i rushed in — it was a church. i fell on the pavement panting. it was the aisle into which i had burst — it was separated from the chancel by large grated railings. within i could see the priests at the altar, by the lamps recently and rarely lighted, and a few trembling devotees on their knees, in the body of the chancel. there was a strong contrast between the glare of the lamps within the chancel, and the faint light that trembled through the windows of the aisle, scarcely showing me the monuments, on one of which i leaned to rest my throbbing temples for a moment. i could not rest — i dared not — and rising, i cast an involuntary glance on the inscription which the monument bore. the light appeared to increase maliciously, to aid my powers of vision. i read, ‘orate pro anima.’ i at last came to the name — ‘juan di mon?ada.’ i flew from the spot as if pursued by demons — my brother’s early grave had been my resting place.