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Penguin Island

Chapter 4 The First Assembly of the Estates of Penguinia.
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“bulloch, my son,” said old mael, “we ought to make a census of the penguins and inscribe each of their names in a book.”

“it is a most urgent matter,” answered bulloch, “there can be no good government without it.”

forthwith, the apostle, with the help of twelve monks, proceeded to make a census of the people.

and old mael then said:

“now that we keep a register of all the inhabitants, we ought, bulloch, my son, to levy a just tax so as to provide for public expenses and the maintenance of the abbey. each ought to contribute according to his means. for this reason, my son, call together the elders of alca, and in agreement with them we shall establish the tax.”

the elders, being called together, assembled to the number of thirty under the great sycamore in the courtyard of the wooden monastery. they were the first estates of penguinia. three-fourths of them were substantial peasants of surelle and clange. greatauk, as the noblest of the penguins, sat upon the highest stone.

the venerable mael took his place in the midst of his monks and uttered these words:

“children, the lord when he pleases grants riches to men and he takes them away from them. now i have called you together to levy contributions from the people so as to provide for public expenses and the maintenance of the monks. i consider that these contributions ought to be in proportion to the wealth of each. therefore he who has a hundred oxen will give ten; he who has ten will give one.”

when the holy man had spoken, morio, a labourer at anis-on-the-clange, one of the richest of the penguins, rose up and said:

“o father mael, i think it right that each should contribute to the public expenses and to the support of the church. for my part i am ready to give up all that i possess in the interest of my brother penguins, and if it were necessary i would even cheerfully part with my shirt. all the elders of the people are ready, like me, to sacrifice their goods, and no one can doubt their absolute devotion to their country and their creed. we have, then, only to consider the public interest and to do what it requires. now, father, what it requires, what it demands, is not to ask much from those who possess much, for then the rich would be less rich and the poor still poorer. the poor live on the wealth of the rich and that is the reason why that wealth is sacred. do not touch it, to do so would be an uncalled for evil. you will get no great profit by taking from the rich, for they are very few in number; on the contrary you will strip yourself of all your resources and plunge the country into misery. whereas if you ask a little from each inhabitant without regard to his wealth, you will collect enough for the public necessities and you will have no need to enquire into each citizen’s resources, a thing that would be regarded by all as a most vexatious measure. by taxing all equally and easily you will spare the poor, for you will leave them the wealth of the rich. and how could you possibly proportion taxes to wealth? yesterday i had two hundred oxen, today i have sixty, tomorrow i shall have a hundred. clunic has three cows, but they are thin; nicclu has only two, but they are fat. which is the richer, clunic or nicclu? the signs of opulence are deceitful. what is certain is that everyone eats and drinks. tax people according to what they consume. that would be wisdom and it would be justice.”

thus spoke morio amid the applause of the elders.

“i ask that this speech be graven on bronze,” cried the monk, bulloch. “it is spoken for the future; in fifteen hundred years the best of the penguins will not speak otherwise.”

the elders were still applauding when greatauk, his hand on the pommel of his sword, made this brief declaration:

“being noble, i shall not contribute; for to contribute is ignoble. it is for the rabble to pay.”

after this warning the elders separated in silence.

as in rome, a new census was taken every five years; and by this means it was observed that the population increased rapidly. although, children died in marvellous abundance and plagues and famines came with perfect regularity to devastate entire villages, new penguins, in continually greater numbers, contributed by their private misery to the public prosperity.

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