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Confidential Chats with Boys

CHAPTER VI SELF-ABUSE—HOW TO STOP IT—THE QUACKS
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this is a subject, boys, that has been much distorted in its facts and quite frequently put before you in a wrong light. to try and frighten you, to prevent you from making mistakes through ignorance, is not the way to help a worrying boy. if he makes mistakes and falls into injurious habits through lack of knowledge of a certain subject, give him that knowledge. but instead of placing knowledge and truths before you, scarecrows and words to make you fear have been hung for you to see and hear. it is this fear that has been put into you by those who have not fully explained the whole matter, which the quacks use for extorting money from their victims.

of course the habit of self-abuse means ruin to both brain and body. it is degrading to your true self, causes a loss of self-respect and makes a coward of every boy and man.

how can it do otherwise? the mere loss of the bubbling spring of manly life, the seminal fluid, would bring about this cowardice in a bravely born boy. self-abuse is a cowardly way[96] to treat the growing man in you, and it throws that cowardice right back in your face, makes you a real, can’t-help-it coward. all this is true of the habit. but this one fact i want to impress upon you—don’t think because you have succumbed to the desire a few times, that you are lost, going to become insane, or show upon your features the wrong acts of youthful ignorance.

no, don’t worry yourself ill, don’t become frightened at these misstatements, at what the advertising doctors say in their lying circulars and daily papers. all their statements are lies and used to get your money and ruin your health and happiness.

little slips now and then before you have reached full knowledge of what is right should be forgotten, but the habit kept up will, of course, bring you to uselessness and make for failure in life.

let us see how the practice is usually started. i have told you all about the irritation which arises from an unclean penis and a secondary irritation from an unemptied bowel. also about too warm bed-clothing. in most boys these irritations call attention to the organ. then there is an itching. this the boy seeks to relieve by scratching or handling his penis. all this sends blood to the organ. the blood enters the spongy penis and causes an erection.[97] soon the boy finds a new and strange sensation and finally performs the act.

what should he do when this strange sensation comes over him? he should immediately rise from the bed and pulling back the foreskin—if he is not circumcised—plunge the organ and surrounding parts into cold water. but you see he has never been told, and so the “first time” happens.

this is his first attempt at self-abuse. and it is rightly called self-abuse, for it is an abuse of a boy’s greatest power—manhood, muscle-force, brain-health.

i know that some of your teachers and parents will object to my telling you that a few mistakes in boyhood will not always ruin you. all the fakers and quacks will certainly object, for the truth will drive them out of business. but i intend giving you the truth in these matters. it is the only way for you to start right and know how to keep right. i have no patience with those who would build up a great scare for you when young to have you find out later that it was only a warning but not the real facts. i am going to hit out from the shoulder in this matter; no feints or ducking in going at the truth.

i have seen hundreds of men and youths complete nervous wrecks from fear that the few times they practiced self-abuse when boys,[98] meant that they were doomed to go to the asylum or death. and all this misery and often a missing of good opportunities in life, were due to the fact that they were told hobgoblin stories which remained with them and rose to frighten them at the most sensitive age in life—early manhood.

no more of this wrong treatment should be allowed. if these boys of the past generation had been told how to care for their sex organs, as you have, more than one-half would never have succumbed even once to the temptation of self-abuse.

those of you who have not had proper instruction in the care of the sex organs and felt the irritation so much that you relieved yourselves, don’t think about the past; don’t worry, don’t read the scare-books and the advertisements of the quacks.

keep a clean body and a clean mind. but you cannot keep a clean mind if you allow the accumulation of secretions to remain anywhere in your system. the mind can be cleaned just as well as the bowels or penis. you can flush the brain so that nothing but pure thoughts and right thinking flow through it. this is done by good reading, good desires and a constant study of yourself and what certain impulses mean. evil impulses will get into the brain; flush them out. look ahead,[99] never backward. no man ever succeeded in life by looking behind himself. look forward in all things. don’t worry and work yourself ill by remembering the time when you did give way to the desire; just try to think of the times ahead that you will not.

keep in your mind whatsoever things are upright, just and manly. this does not mean that you should be a “goody-goody” or a “sissy.” no, these two specimens of half-boys are detestable to all real men and women. so are the other kind—the vulgar and vile. proper thoughts and clean acts in boyhood all go to make a man of character, of honor, give you the inward grace of a gentleman which cannot manifest itself outwardly save in good manners, modesty of bearing and fearlessness. let your mind be stored with evil thoughts, indecent pictures made up in your mind, then act upon all these foul things, and nothing can bring you to the point of being a man and gentleman. never.

and the reason is this: the memory is something like photographic films, like millions of them, some exposed, some unused. every thought is registered on your memory films. every tiny brain cell is a film ready to take a picture the moment it is exposed to a thought. you can have a pile of bright, good, inspiring ones so big and thick that they hide forever[100] those films which have registered evil and wrong thoughts.

every debasing thought or waking dream of filth leaves its photographic negative somewhere in your brain. every thought or mind picture remains there to come forward again and again, if it is not darkly and deeply hidden by manly thoughts and ambitious dreams of what you want to do to make something of yourself and do something for the world.

it is in these facts that the great injury of self-abuse enters. you cannot commit the vicious act without having in your mind some kind of nasty and unnatural pictures. you first bring this picture to your consciousness which accompanies the act.

this picture you may think is only a passing one, but it has left its negative in your brain. it will stay there to some time reappear, unless it is packed so far behind natural and manly thoughts that it cannot possibly throw itself before your consciousness.

from this explanation you can see that if the habit of self-abuse and all the pictures in your mind which accompany the habit are continued, your brain cells will soon be occupied by these negatives, and there will be a constantly decreasing space for right thoughts. now comes the time when the youth finds it[101] hard to apply himself to his work or studies. his mind will wander; he is called stupid, he becomes discouraged and leaves school or work. yet, he can, at this period in his life, be brought back to be a normal youth. he can start right by knowing that if he will at once put all evil thoughts away he can hide the brain pictures which have been holding him down.

you should remember it is not so much the physical injury self-abuse does; not the “losing a pound of blood” every time he abuses himself; it is the brain power he is weakening, the filling of brain cells with pictures which shut out proper thoughts.

of course it hurts your growing strength, keeps you weak and finally affects your whole nervous system, but the youth has wonderful powers of recovery from physical injury, and if he has not kept up the habit, all this injury may be repaired.

but not so with the brain. we cannot get rid of the negatives there, but we can keep them suppressed. and how well they may be hidden and not allowed to shut out good thinking, depends entirely upon the length and frequency of the practice of self-abuse.

but one thing is certain: if the boy will at once stop the habit, get away from all those boys and things which bring out these injurious[102] brain pictures, he can forget the past and look only at the future.

this is the cure and the only cure.

but there are a lot of details which, when understood, help a boy to do all this. first, never sleep with another person, man or boy. in a former chat i told you that to sleep with another person was unhealthful; that it prevented your skin from breathing fresh air and that you could absorb the poisons from another’s skin.

sleeping with another person causes extra warmth under the clothing; this affects the sex organs—sends blood to them and causes a feeling of attraction towards these delicate organs. often this will end in an emission—an unnatural one, due to the heat, not to an effort to empty overloaded sacks. again, many boys will be tempted to talk and play with each other. these boys may be ignorant and innocent at first, but in the end it means self-abuse.

thousands of boys have been started on the habit through sleeping one with another. one may have been innocent and ignorant, one vicious—no matter; the result is the same.

never trust yourself in bed with a boy or man. no matter if you are so situated that there is only one bed to be had. sleep on the floor, anywhere; go without sleeping rather than have that “first time” happen to you.[103] and it is so easy to avoid all this danger when you know the facts. the trouble has been that these matters have been withheld from your knowledge. it was so easy to tell you to be good and then send you to bed with a vicious boy.

there are things in trousers called men, so vile that they wait in hiding for the innocent boy. these things are generally well dressed, well mannered—too well mannered in fact—and pass as gentlemen; but they are really human skunks hatched from rattlesnakes’ eggs. they hang around fashionable summer hotels, city boarding houses and hotels where families live. they fool your mothers and sisters; are always ready to play the gallant in parlor games, croquet with the girls and often are much sought after as dancers.

look out for these vermin, be suspicious of any man in trousers who avoids real men, who never enters or takes interest in manly sports, who tries to see you alone and prefers to go in bathing with boys instead of men. don’t go to drive or walk with these things, for all the time they are only waiting to teach boys to help them in self-abuse or something far nastier.

so never sleep with a man, except your father. if you should be so situated that you find yourself in bed with a man, keep awake[104] with your eyes on something you can hit him with. at the slightest word or act out of the way, hit him; hit him so hard that he will carry the scar for life. don’t be afraid, these skunks are all cowards.

it is to be hoped that you will never come in contact with or know such beastly men. there are not many of them sneaking around, nevertheless i feel i should warn you against everything that might be the commencement of your ruin.

almost all the deeds and thoughts which go to make up a career of success or failure, have their beginnings in youth. youth is the springtime of life. it is the planting time, the crop you sow is reaped in the summer and autumn of life.

just being good amounts to a useless life unless you can be good for something. you cannot be good for anything unless you are good to yourself. the time has passed when a youth or man can neglect his body and brain and, when they are no longer working as they should work, go to a doctor and have him repair the trouble with medicines. the doctor of the future and those of the present who understand man and his powers, study to show you how to keep in the best physical and moral health. these two conditions cannot be separated; neglect your[105] body and evil thoughts and weak will are sure to follow. both come from the great source and both must be equally cared for and respected.

you have been told that it is wonderful to look around and see god’s work. but this is not exactly the whole truth. it is more wonderful to study self and recognize the spirit of god in you. and this spirit in you will always respond to your appeals for help in these matters of taking care of the body and all that belongs to the body.

just say to yourself: “i have a lot of dirt in my body; i know now how to get it out and keep it out. i have some filthy thought germs in my brain, i will wash them out and keep them out.” doing this until it becomes a silent habit, you start as a youth whose foundations are such that, as a man, you can become what you will.

boys have been scared to death, or to the point where they think death would be a relief, by being told that pimples on the face were signs of self-abuse and the commencement of “lost manhood.” pimples on the face of a growing boy have no more to do with these conditions than a corn on the toe. remember this truth: self-abuse kept up will, of course, bring about a dirty complexion, pale face, trembling limbs and the general appearance of something[106] wrong with the youth. but the purest-minded and healthiest youth will have pimples on his face for two or three years.

when the age of puberty arrives, every gland, including the sweat glands of the face and others, which exude a fatty material, are pouring out an excess of their secretions, like the sap in young trees during the springtime. this state naturally leaves a complexion muddy-looking and helps also to make pimples. but the pimples on the youth’s face are mainly due to another cause.

when the beard commences to grow, each hair, in trying to push its way through the tender skin, leaves a hole a little larger than the size of the hair. consequently there are around the pushing hair of the beard little open spaces into which dirt and some of the acid secretions enter. this sets up a slight inflammation and so, of course, makes pimples.

let these pimples alone. all pinching, opening and applications make them worse. sometimes a boy becomes so worried and ashamed about them that he goes to a druggist, who gives him an ointment or wash which closes up the opening spaces and thereby keeps the dirt and inflammation hidden for a time. but this is an injurious thing to do; for soon the inflammation increases downwards in the skin and unless at once relieved the boy will have one[107] form of a real skin disease, which, even when treated by a doctor, is liable to leave scars on the face; deep pits which resemble those of smallpox. if you are foolish enough to smoke cigarettes when growing, your pimples will be irritated, and then, of course, enlarged and more difficult for nature—the only genuine doctor—to bring about a good complexion.

as a general rule, the stronger the man you are to be, the more numerous the pimples will be on your face and body. this is because a full and heavy beard generally belongs to the strong man. so if you have more hairs pushing through your skin than a less-powerful youth, you will have more pimples. temperament, that is, your racial traits, color of hair and family complexion, all these kinds of things, of course, make a difference in the way your beard grows and the quality of it; but the principles are all the same for every growing youth.

frequently boys are frightened almost to helplessness because some of these pimples appear upon the parts surrounding the sex organs. these pimples are generally from the same cause; most often due to the curling of the young hairs which re-enter the skin near the point where they come out.

in all these matters you only need to keep your face and other hairy parts clean by[108] simple washing with soap and water. use only a plain, pure soap—castile soap is excellent for this purpose. don’t use highly-scented soaps. many of these are poisonous to such conditions, as i have explained.

when you feel that it is about time to commence shaving, do it yourself—don’t “let a barber do it.” it is an easy matter to learn to handle a razor, and now the safety razors make it inexcusable to go to a barber. then think of the nastiness involved in having a stranger’s hands running all over your sensitive skin! would you let any other kind of brush which had been used upon a thousand of all sorts of human skins, be smeared over yours? then the soaps, towels, all the things the barber uses! ugh, if you had seen all the diseases i have seen on men’s faces, you would allow no hands but your own to touch your face. you know where your hands have been; do you know where the barber’s were a half-hour before he shaved you?

true, all first-class barbers try to have everything they come in contact with kept clean and sterilized, but we cannot get away from the fact that the razor, brush, soap and hand of your own are far, far preferable to use on your tender face. then traveling, if you do not shave yourself, you are liable to be obliged to enter some barber shop from which[109] you come out diseased; perhaps diseased for life. and if you do not know all about these diseases they will get such a hold upon your system that your career is ended. there are many other good reasons why you should shave yourself; one will come to your mind—the fact that you save valuable time and can start out in the morning looking clean and neat, as every gentleman should and does.

in traveling and other conditions which keep you away from your own toilets, especially in the public schools, the seats of the closets are often found to be covered with a form of lice—“crabs” they are vulgarly called. when these get on to you they cause a terrible itching. they will become so irritating that you cannot keep still. many a boy has been sent home from school because he could not keep still or refrain from scratching himself. this form of scratching has often been thought by his teacher to mean evil thoughts or habits.

poor fellows, how many of you have been unjustly accused!

if you will examine yourself closely, you will find the tiny lice. little bits of things looking like a black pin-point. the best thing under these circumstances is to go to the doctor. he will give you an ointment to apply which will soon kill them. so don’t let some older boy, through fun and the love of scaring you, or[110] perhaps through his own ignorance, frighten you. some boys and shameful men will tell you that the itching is a sure sign of self-abuse, or that you have a bad disease which will soon rot your whole body. and as many boys have once or more done things of which they are ashamed—always a good sign is this shame—these mean tales do much injury. there is nothing in it, boys; just “crabs.”

it is every strange, little symptom which comes to the developing youth that is seized upon by the quacks to exaggerate in their advertisements and try to make you believe that physical or mental ruin is right ahead of you—unless you buy their drugs. here is one way they work upon the youth’s ignorance and fears.

you are just an ordinary boy; full of fun, play and no better nor worse than the rest of us. one day you receive a circular or booklet through the mail. there is no printing on the envelope. just one of the catalogues or circulars you sent for, as you wanted to see the prices of bats and mitts for next season’s games.

so thinks your mother also. and your father? well, he is too busy making money for you all to really know what his son needs and wants in the way of confidential talks. but you will know when you have a boy—i am sure of this.

[111]

but let us get back to the circular. you open it and at the first glance of the heading, down it goes deep into your pocket while you sneak off to read it.

i say sneak off, because that is about what you do. then you read in the circular what your awful doom is to be. as you read on you tremble, and there comes over you the feeling that every bit of real life is leaving you. once again you read those cursed lies and then commences the habit of looking in the mirror when no one is around, to notice your pale face and those tell-tale pimples. you feel your pulse, which is, of course, now going at a rapid rate, and get into exactly that fright the fakers knew you would get into and so send them money for their “cure” of “lost manhood.”

if i could have my way, i would send to prison for life every criminal who advertised or sold stuff for “lost manhood restored.” these vampires are criminals, soul-murderers and body-destroyers, and just as guilty as though they stuck a knife into every youth and boy.

then you read in the circular about the awful effects and signs of “seminal losses at night,” and know for certain that they are fast telling on your face. “surely,” you say to yourself, “i must show how rapidly i am[112] failing, for someone has noticed it and sent to these doctors to have them tell me what to do. oh! what shall i do; can i ever be cured?”

poor, scared and suffering boy! why have father, mother and teacher left you to be the prey of these criminals? ask them!

no, these blood-suckers did not get your name from anyone who knew you; that is, in the way you think. this is the way the names of boys and youths are procured: all through the land, especially in the weekly papers which circulate in the country towns, are to be found advertisements saying that if you will send your name—“only send your name; no money is wanted” is the general way they put it—you will receive the catalogue of the goods these advertisers have to sell. sometimes it is some form of puzzle you are to solve and get a prize—“just send us your name,” that is the trick. others will offer you “a gold watch, 18-carat,” if you send a list of your young friends who would like to earn a little money selling soap, or canvassing for books or journals.

rarely it is a fake sporting-goods house which advertises to send catalogues if you will send a list of names. but you all know the real ones; these are honest, absolutely straight houses. when you send these reputable houses[113] your names they are safe from being bought by these quacks and criminals.

all these advertisers want is to obtain the name of every boy and girl between fourteen and eighteen years of age, so as to mail them their circulars. some of these advertisers are the firms selling the “lost manhood” fakes and other nasty fakes; some are in the disreputable business only to get the names and sell them to the blood-suckers, and once they get your name, they will follow you up to the last minute of your youth; then, if you have been easily bled, they will follow you up into your married life.

they work the sunday school teachers by offering to send samples of mottoes or some other tempting bait to catch the unwary young woman who has a class of boys—yes, and girls. all they want is the name of each scholar for some contest—the winning class to get a prize; or else it is to introduce some new line of church work—and to introduce it in their city, samples will be sent free to each pupil.

in the high schools, they have their own agents—pupils—who send a list of names and with these names other information that these scorpions want. of course, many of these pupil-agents do not really know just all the evil they are doing, but i think they are generally those of bad and injurious habits.

[114]

so when you receive one of these circulars just tear the vile thing up and say to yourself: “nixy for me, i don’t bite at such bait—i’m no sucker.”

i am pleased to say that all these nefarious schemes i have investigated are run by foreigners; not one i know of is controlled by a genuine american or britisher.

“but,” you say, “some of these fakers and quacks must be honest. there must be something in what they say in print, because they offer your money back if you are not cured. they give you a written guarantee and refer you to a bank.”

true, and you will find that the guarantee is legally correct and binding. but—

this is the way they trap you: in the guarantee they promise to return your money—and sometimes more as a bait—if you give reasonable proof that you were a victim of injurious habits before treatment, and that the treatment has not cured you.

when you demand your money back they will send you a blank to fill out and return. they inform you that when this blank is properly filled out they will at once return the money. i presume they will, but i have never heard of such a case and[115] i have investigated hundreds of these schemes.

the blank you are asked to fill out is such that no victim will return it. it requires you to get the signatures of your minister, one of the principal business men in your town and your father or next of kin, certifying that you had the habit before taking treatment and that you have it now. then this must be taken before a notary and witnessed—the blood-suckers!

if you have any reason to think that you may be in danger of falling into the habit of self-abuse, do this: every time the temptation comes to you go at once and bathe your sex organs in cold water. if it is in one of those half-waking conditions in the morning, wake up. go at once and plunge the parts in cold water. take a cold shower, if possible; if not, have a big sponge always ready and let the cold water run down your back and all over the sex organs—testicles and penis. if the temptation comes at night before you have gone to sleep, get out of bed at once, no matter how cold it is, the colder the better, and apply the icy water.

take cold? not a bit of it. these are old women’s tales; what all boys need are the true facts of life from men. you want to be stopped from being cuddled up in warm blankets and[116] told not to get out of bed, and all that nonsense.

while you are breaking up any impulses to do that which you know is injurious, is the time for developing the will. this can be done by all boys and bring you to a state of self-control that has been sadly lacking in the past generation.

if you want big muscles, those always under your control and acting when and how you want them to, you exercise them regularly. those which have the least development and are not under ready command, you pay much attention to strengthening and bringing under control. by this way you soon get them under full control. the will can be made to do as you desire, by the same method. when the temptation comes, and as you are pouring over the cold water, just say: “will, do as i want—take my mind off these subjects. will, drive out that dirty picture—that’s the way, now, once more.” if the thoughts still linger and try to throw down the struggling will, stay up reading some interesting book. some exciting book that you really like, something about pirates, indians, detective stories or travelers’ tales. i think it is a good thing to have always on hand a book you want to read. keep such a book for emergencies, just as a soldier carries bandages for emergencies. when a thought[117] or impulse comes to you that may carry you to wrongful acts, jump out of bed and get the book and read, even if you stay up all night. this helps to strengthen the will and takes you safely over the danger point. you may call such a book: “the first aid to the uninjured.”

by these many little methods you gradually develop the will to act your way. you do more, you strengthen it, make it a big power for you to move and direct and finally do big things. the will certainly can be brought to a high development, and what a magnificent sight is the man with big muscles, big brain and controlled will force.

of course you cannot do all this at once. do not be discouraged if you fail time after time. stick at it. every effort means an increase of power. it is like the gradual development of the muscles, as i have said. you all know the story of the man who commenced to carry a calf and lifted it every day until it had grown to be a cow. then he could lift and carry off the cow. do you suppose he could at first have lifted a cow? of course not. neither can you carry off the first attempt of your will to get the better of you. but by keeping at it and doing a little every day, in time you can get a strangle-hold on it. when you get this hold call to it[118] to get up and obey. it will do your bidding.

you need no drugs, medicines or “electric belts” to get you to full manhood. just the power in you well brought out is the way to complete physical and mental development. and again, don’t get discouraged. man never succeeded in anything by remembering past failures. it is just this constant fighting discouragement and mistakes that shows where the faults lie, and knowing these faults, we can in the next attempt avoid some of them, finally all of them.

i have mentioned “electric belts.” these are another great fake, a monstrous fake, and if the people were not ignorant of the facts i have been telling you, such frauds could not live a day. you have all seen those pictures in the papers of the big, strong-looking man to whose arm clings a smiling young woman. then there is the companion picture, the picture of the “down and out” man looking as if he had one foot in the grave and one hand reaching out to the insane asylum. of course the advertisement tells you that this is the way he looked before he used the “electric belt.” if it were not for the curse of these pictures and the great injury they do to the ignorant people, these advertisements of “electric belts” would seem roaringly funny to the[119] doctor. the fact is that all the statements in these advertisements and similar ones are nothing but bare-faced lies—every one of them.

again you say, “i know a man who was cured by one of these ‘electric belts.’” or a youth will state that he wore one for three months and was made into a well man again.

both these statements are probably true, and will be given in writing to the advertisers who challenge the world to dispute the facts.

but how, then, if these advertisements are frauds? let us take a part of the advertisements and discover:

after telling you that “weaknesses, nervousness,” and all that kind of advertising rottenness, will be removed by wearing the belt, this advice follows: i quote word for word—“no drugs to be taken, no conditions imposed except that dissipation must cease.”

now you see the nigger in the woodpile—“dissipation must cease.” in other words, stop your evil habits, the ones which have caused a little or great weakness, and you will be cured.

is this any different from what i have told you? not at all, only i say don’t use the fake “electric belt,” and you will be far better off. using these belts or any kind of appliances, is worse than useless because they give you a[120] false idea of what really cures you, and you may be foolish at some later period in your life—but not if you have developed the will—and resume your injurious habits, thinking all you need to be well again is to resort to the “belts.” you might just as well tie a piece of lead pipe between your legs.

some boys have been told they should wear suspensory bandages all the time they are growing. no; if nature intended the testicles should have greater support, she would have given this support.

there are times in athletic sports, such as wrestling, jumping, hurdling, pole jumping, when it may be advisable, in order to save the organs from shock or strain, to wear a “jock strap” or suspensory bandage. but if you have taken decent care of yourself, the muscles which suspend the bag should be strong and elastic enough to protect the testicles in it. cold water, again, is the best and only way by which these muscles should be developed.

frequently the boy imagines he has varicose veins of the testicles—that is, another scare has been thrown into him by the advertisements of quacks—and such a lad will worry himself to a state of uselessness. he is constantly feeling the worm-like cords and attachments inside the bag. he is sure now that it is all over with him, he can play no more ball, but must sit[121] quietly and await the awful operation, or else he goes to some drug store for a suspensory bandage. if not warned and cared for in time, he gets into the talons of the quacks who bleed him for all he can beg or get otherwise, and when he can give them no more money he is cast off hopeless, and we find him in the hospital clinic a trembling, wasted youth. and there was nothing the matter with him except a big scare.

such a fright lowers the whole tone of a boy, moral as well as physical. his muscles become weak and flabby. now it is a scientific fact that whatever part of the body your mind dwells upon will show the effect, evil or good, according to the kind of thoughts. such a boy as we have described, has his mind fixed upon those worm-like cords in his bag. now the muscles relax, then he feels those “worms” so big that the fright increases to almost a mania.

and all this suffering of thousands of lads just because parents and teachers have been criminally silent! but, boys, as i told you, it is not fair to put all the blame upon our parents. in their days they were not allowed to read such books as you are now directed to read; and such chats as i am giving you—well, i should be elsewhere than here, had i lived in those days.

never worry about those “varicose veins.”[122] you can all feel worm-like cords if you try. especially if you wait until some warm day or after some great fatigue when the tiny muscles of the testicles are relaxed.

that’s all there is to the whole matter, but if you do worry about these and the other matters, the fakers “will get your goat,” and when that has left your side, like the horse, you lose your race.

perhaps many of you do not know what i mean. well, let us close this chat by explaining:

it is the custom among racing stables in england to have some little pet kept in the box stalls with the horses. these highly-bred horses are very sensitive and timid. they have been accustomed to always have around them and in their stalls, when sleeping, boys and pets. fox terriers and other small dogs of a sporty nature are generally found sleeping with the horses, sometimes on the horses’ backs, or if it is cold, between their legs. take away for a night one of these pets and the sensitive horses will not sleep, lose their appetite and generally get out of form.

now a few years ago there was a famous horse being made ready to win one of england’s big races. he had for a box-stall companion a billy goat. the goat and horse had been together since both were youngsters. it was[123] well known that the horse was uncontrollable, would neither eat nor sleep, if the goat was away from the stall. so some mean man who wanted the horse to lose the race, made the stable boy drunk and then took away the goat.

all night that poor horse stamped and whinnied for his goat. in the morning he was a nervous wreck and would not touch his food. nevertheless, he was sent to the race and, of course, lost it because he had “lost his goat.” another fellow “had his goat.”

so you see what i meant by using this slang of the day. the fakers first get your goat—your will and courage—then you are bound to lose the race of life.

keep your goat by and in you always.

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