the secretary looked at wade. his face was tight and drawn. "what do you think, wade. are we getting through?"
"it's hard to say. he's moving pretty fast. he could outrun the signal. we've never had a practical voice test."
lowe's face had a worried expression covering it. "didn't you have communications with the test rocket?"
"that was unmanned ... remember?"
"this silence doesn't worry you?" the secretary asked with amazement.
"ackerson was trained for this. he knows there is nothing we can do for him. he's on his own. communications would be to our advantage, to be sure. but ackerson knows that ship like you know the back of your hand. besides ... perhaps he is too busy to answer right now. he has to be sure there is no wobble."
"wobble!"
"sure. the ship could begin to oscillate. if it does that he is done. he has to keep his eye on the gyro."
the secretary's eyes penetrated. "i can't help but feel that you would be more concerned if tomer were in the starfrost instead of ackerson. wade ... don't let the fact that you hate ackerson cloud the issue. he is doing us a great service."
"stop it, harry!"
"after all. the first man to circle the moon is entitled to a place in the history books. i can share his feelings, in a way. it's a great thing he's doing."
"others have done more," wade said sharply.
"of course they have. but remember one thing. if ackerson succeeds we will get the appropriations we need to build up there on that cold chunk of rock. we need that ... need it badly."
"i tell you we have nothing to worry about yet," wade said quickly.
"have it your way, wade. but remember, we can't land on the moon until we have appropriations for installations. it all takes money; landing sites, protection against the elements, and most important, take-off facilities. it's a big order. ackerson can give us all of that if he is successful. the public will back us to the limit if we prove we have mastered space travel." the secretary watched wade carefully. "ackerson is important!"
"i never said he wasn't."
"i know, wade." the secretary toyed with his tie. "but did you let your feelings toward tomer interfere with your attitude toward ackerson? he came to me you know, about halfway through the course. he said you were babying tomer to the point where it was interfering with his instruction."
"he lied," wade cut in. he threw down the cigarette he was holding and ground his heel into it. "you know me better than that!"
"of course. but perhaps ackerson did have something. perhaps you spent more time with tomer than you intended. unconsciously you may have favored him to the point where ackerson did suffer."
wade let his eyes wander over to the small television screen. it was still operating. flat, empty sand and a burned out area was all that remained of the starfrost. he wondered: did i do that? did i forget to teach ackerson something while i was working with tomer?
the loud-speaker crackled.
"mother. this is starfrost. over."
the operations room came alive. wade and lowe hurried over to stand beneath the speaker, as if that would put them closer to the starfrost.
"go ahead, starfrost. this is mother." the communications man held the mike in a hand that wasn't quite as steady as it should be.
"this is starfrost. everything in the green. repeat, everything in the green. over."
wade took the mike. "how is the gyro, starfrost!"
the loud-speaker laughed. "tsk, tsk, colonel. where is your radio procedure? you forgot to say over." there was a pause and boeman knew why. "don't tell me you're worrying about ole ack. i've got this thing sewed up. why don't you take a walk around the park and see if you can find that little guy? what was his name? you know the one i mean. the one who got cold feet and dropped out before you finished feeding him. over."
wade handed the mike back to the commo man without a word. he looked at the secretary. lowe's eyes cautioned him. wade swallowed the things he was going to say. orders. damn them. he wanted to stick a pin in ackerson's ego. and it would be so easy. so damn easy. orders. he gave them and he had taken them.
wade turned and got the mike again. "this is mother. keep an eye on the hull temperature. watch that gyro. if you feel the slightest vibration be sure to start the auxiliary immediately. over."
"romeo, mother. take care of my letter. i—" the speaker became silent.
major gormely moved like a blur of light. wade knew what was wrong the instant he looked at the pip on the radar scope. major gormely hurriedly began checking instruments. but he had seen too. the equipment was in order. it was the starfrost. it had all indications of a "wobble".
"this is serious, isn't it, wade?"
boeman didn't look at the secretary when he answered. his eyes were glued to the radar scanner. "pretty much. it could be the end if he doesn't catch it in time."
"what can we do?"
"nothing but wait. he isn't finished yet. he has the extra gyro. that should do it. if not he can try the fuel as a last resort. it's only theory plus but he might be able to blast something with substance against the dorsel fin. if he plays it carefully he might be able to give the gyro a hand. it will be tricky but we think it can be done."
"what effect will that have on the mission? he has only so much fuel!"
"he can waste thirty seconds. after that he is cutting himself short on the leg home."
"the wobble stopped," major gormely said quickly.
it was true. the course was slightly erratic but ackerson had the starfrost back under control. wade wiped the back of his hand over his lips. suddenly he felt tired and old. he wanted to sit down. "keep trying on the radio, mike," he said.
he walked over to the small table with the television set on it. he switched it off. he didn't want to look at that empty sand. he lighted another cigarette. then he reached inside his blouse and withdrew the letter ackerson had left for him. he didn't want to read it. for the first time he had felt close to the blond man ... felt sorry for him. the letter could say something to change that.
"why don't you read it, wade?" the secretary said.
wade looked up quickly. the secretary was smiling with that know-all look of his. wade reached in his pocket and brought out the pack of cigarettes. then he caught himself. but the older man hadn't missed the one smoldering in the ashtray.
a tight smile creased wade's face. he felt like a small boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "i know a nice quiet spot in upper new york. phonecia! there's a nice trout stream beside the only hotel. the people are simple and tolerant. and there is a small, private bar where a man can really relax. i think i'll go up there for a few years when this is all over."
"now you're reading my mind," the secretary said.
they both laughed.
"seriously, wade. i think you should take a long rest when this is over. a man with your knowledge of the human body should realize that you're fighting fatigue. in fact i've already spoken to general dominick about it."
wade shook his head. "you know i can't do that. i've got another job i have to take care of first."
"tomer?"
"of course."
"i thought we settled on that. someone else can take over in your place and handle that. you can supervise if you wish. but not until after you've had a rest."
"you know better, harry. this is my baby and i'll handle it. it isn't that i haven't tried to keep him out of my mind. i have. yet he always comes back to haunt me. if not because of my own feelings, then it's ackerson reminding me. it's no use. i can't rest with him on my mind."
"not even when you've had orders?"
wade snuffed out the cigarette. "i'm finding out that feelings can sometimes rebel against orders."
"that isn't a good trait for an army officer to acquire."
wade's face took on a sardonic expression. "no. it isn't, is it?" he said softly.