the bear-keeper acacius, theodora’s father—his widow loses her place in the amphitheatre of the greens and takes another in that of the blues—her daughters—the beginning of theodora’s career—her precocious immorality—her accomplishments—her debaucheries—her intercourse with hecebolus, governor of pentapolis—her return from the east—justinian, enamoured of her, wishes to marry her—assassination of hypatius—the praefect theodotus colocynthius—punishment of malefactors—his exile and death.
as for justinian’s wife, i shall now describe her birth, how she was brought up, how she married him, and how in conjunction with him she utterly ruined the roman empire.
there was one acacius at byzantium, of the green faction, who was keeper of the wild beasts used in the amphitheatre, and was called the bear-keeper. this man died of some malady during the reign of anastasius, and left three daughters, comito, theodora and anastasia, the eldest of whom was not yet seven years of age. his widow married her husband’s successor in his house and profession; but the chief dancer of the green faction, named asterius, was easily bribed into taking away the office from this man and giving it to one who paid him for it: for the dancers had the power to manage these matters as they pleased.
when theodora’s mother saw the whole populace assembled in the amphitheatre to see the show of the wild beasts, she placed fillets on her daughters’ heads and hands, and made them sit in the attitude of suppliants. the greens regarded their appeal with indifference, but the blues, who had lately lost their own bear-keeper, bestowed the office upon them. as the children grew up, their mother straightway sent them on the stage, for they were handsome girls. she did not send them on all at once, but as each one arrived at a fit age so to do. the eldest girl, comito, had already become one of the most celebrated prostitutes of her time.
theodora, the next eldest, was dressed in a little sleeved tunic, such as a slave-girl would wear, and waited on her sister, carrying on her shoulders the stool in which she was wont to sit in public. theodora was still too young to have intercourse with a man after the manner of women, but she satisfied the unnatural passions of certain wretches, even the vilest slaves, who followed their masters to the theatre and amused their leisure by this infamy. she remained for some time also in a brothel, where she practised this hateful form of vice.
as soon, however, as she reached the age of puberty, as she was handsome, her mother sent her into the theatrical troupe, and she straightway became a simple harlot, as old-fashioned people called it; for she was neither a musician nor a dancer, but merely prostituted herself to everyone whom she met, giving up every part of her body to debauchery. she associated chiefly with the theatrical “pantomimes,” and took part in their performances, playing in comic scenes, for she was exceedingly witty and amusing; so that she soon became well known by her acting. she had no shame whatever, and no one ever saw her put out of countenance, but she lent herself to scandalous purposes without the least hesitation.
she excelled in raising a laugh by being slapped on her puffed-out cheeks, and used to uncover herself so far as to show the spectators everything before and behind which decency forbids to be shown to men. she stimulated her lovers by lascivious jests, and continually invented new postures of coition, by which means she completely won the hearts of all libertines; for she did not wait to be solicited by anyone whom she met, but herself, with joke and gestures, invited everyone whom she fell in with, especially beardless boys.
she never succumbed to these transports; for she often went to a supper at which each one paid his share, with ten or more young men, in the full vigour of their age and practised in debauchery, and would pass the whole night with all of them. when they were all exhausted, she would go to their servants, thirty in number, it may be, and fornicate with each one of them; and yet not even so did she quench her lust. once she went to the house of some great man, and while the guests were drinking pulled up her clothes on the edge of the couch and did not blush to exhibit her wantonness without reserve. though she received the male in three orifices she nevertheless complained of nature for not having made the passage of her breasts wider, that she might contrive a new form of coition in that part of her person also.
she frequently became pregnant, but as she employed all known remedies without delay, she promptly procured abortion. often, even on the stage, she stripped before the eyes of all the people, and stood naked in their midst, wearing only a girdle about her private parts and groin; not because she had any modesty about showing that also to the people, but because no one was allowed to go on the stage without a girdle about those parts. in this attitude she would throw herself down on the floor, and lie on her back. slaves, whose duty it was, would then pour grains of barley upon her girdle, which trained geese would then pick up with their beaks one by one and eat. she did not blush or rise up, but appeared to glory in this performance; for she was not only without shame, but especially fond of encouraging others to be shameless, and often would strip naked in the midst of the actors, and swing herself backwards and forwards, explaining to those who had already enjoyed her and those who had not, the peculiar excellences of that exercise.
she proceeded to such extremities of abuse as to make her face become what most women’s private parts are: wherefore her lovers became known at once by their unnatural tastes, and any respectable man who met her in the public streets turned away, and made haste to avoid her, lest his clothes should be soiled by contact with such an abandoned creature, for she was a bird of ill-omen, especially for those who saw her early in the day. as for her fellow-actresses, she always abused them most savagely, for she was exceedingly jealous.
afterwards she accompanied hecebolus, who had received the appointment of governor of pentapolis, to that country, to serve his basest passions, but quarrelled with him, and was straightway sent out of the country. in consequence of this she fell into want of common necessaries, with which she hereafter provided herself by prostitution, as she had been accustomed to do. she first went to alexandria, and afterwards wandered all through the east, until she reached byzantium, plying her trade in every city on her way—a trade which, i imagine, heaven will not pardon a man for calling by its right name—as if the powers of evil would not allow any place on earth to be free from the debaucheries of theodora. such was the birth, and such the training of this woman, and her name became better known than that of any other prostitute of her time.
on her return to byzantium, justinian became excessively enamoured of her. at first he had intercourse with her merely as her lover, although he raised her to the position of a patrician. by this means theodora was straightway enabled to gain very great influence and to amass considerable sums of money. she charmed justinian beyond all the world, and, like most infatuated lovers, he delighted to show her all the favour and give her all the money that he could. this lavishness added fuel to the flame of passion. in concert with her he plundered the people more than ever, not only in the capital, but throughout the roman empire; for, as both of them had for a long time been members of the blue faction, they had placed unlimited power in its hands, although the evil was subsequently somewhat checked, in the manner which i will now relate.
justinian had for some time suffered from a dangerous illness; in fact, it was even reported that he was dead. the blue faction were committing the crimes of which i have spoken, and slew hypatius, a person of consequence, in the church of st. sophia, in broad daylight. when the murderer had accomplished his work, clamour was raised which reached the emperor’s ears, and all his courtiers seized upon the opportunity of pointing out the outrageous character of the offence which, owing to justinian’s absence from public affairs, the murderer had been enabled to perpetrate, and enumerated all the crimes that had been committed from the outset. hereupon the emperor gave orders to the prefect of the city to punish these crimes. this man was named theodotus, nick-named colocynthius.11 he instituted an inquiry into the whole matter, and had the courage to seize and put to death, according to the law, many of the malefactors, several of whom, however, hid themselves and so escaped, being destined to perish afterwards together with the roman empire. justinian, who miraculously recovered, straightway began to plan the destruction of theodotus, on the pretext that he was a magician and used philtres. however, as he found no proofs on which the man could be condemned, he flogged and tortured some of his intimates until he forced them to make most unfounded accusations against him. when no one dared to oppose justinian, but silently bewailed the plot against theodotus, proclus, the quaestor, alone declared that the man was innocent and did not deserve to die. theodotus was therefore sentenced by the emperor to banishment to jerusalem. but, learning that certain men had been sent thither to assassinate him, he took sanctuary in the temple, where he spent the rest of his life in concealment until he died. such was the end of theodotus.
from this time forth, however, the blue party behaved with the greatest moderation; they did not venture to perpetrate such crimes, although they had it in their power to abuse their authority more outrageously and with greater impunity than before. here is a proof of this; when a few of them afterwards showed the same audacity in evil-doing, they were not punished in any way; for those who had the power to punish always gave malefactors an opportunity to escape, and by this indulgence encouraged them to trample upon the laws.