precious as his love was to him, and deeply as it affected his whole life, tom felt that there must be something[243] beyond it—that its full satisfaction would not be enough for him. the bed was too narrow for a man to stretch himself on. what he was in search of must underlie and embrace his human love, and support it. beyond and above all private and personal desires and hopes and longings, he was conscious of a restless craving and feeling about after something which he could not grasp, and yet which was not avoiding him, which seemed to be mysteriously laying hold of him and surrounding him.

the routine of chapels, and lectures, and reading for degree, boating, cricketing, union-debating—all well enough in their way—left this vacuum unfilled. there was a great outer visible world, the problems and puzzles of which were rising before him and haunting him more and more; and a great inner and invisible world opening round him in awful depth. he seemed to be standing on the brink of each—now, shivering and helpless, feeling like an atom about to be whirled into the great flood and carried he knew not where—now, ready to plunge in and take his part, full of hope and belief that he was meant to buffet in the strength of a man with the seen and the unseen, and to be subdued by neither.