and that wasn't the end of it. there are always those whotake it upon themselves to defend god, as if ultimate reality,as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weakand helpless. these people walk by a widow deformed byleprosy begging for a few paise, walk by children dressed inrags living in the street, and they think, "business as usual."but if they perceive a slight against god, it is a different story.

their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputterangry words. the degree of their indignation is astonishing.

their resolve is frightening.

these people fail to realize that it is on the inside that godmust be defended, not on the outside. they should direct theiranger at themselves. for evil in the open is but evil fromwithin that has been let out. the main battlefield for good isnot the open ground of the public arena but the small clearingof each heart. meanwhile, the lot of widows and homelesschildren is very hard, and it is to their defence, not god's, thatthe self-righteous should rush.

once an oaf chased me away from the great mosque.

when i went to church the priest glared at me so that i couldnot feel the peace of christ. a brahmin sometimes shooed meaway from darshan. my religious doings were reported to myparents in the hushed, urgent tones of treason revealed.

as if this small-mindedness did god any good.

to me, religion is about our dignity, not our depravity.

i stopped attending mass at our lady of immaculateconception and went instead to our lady of angels. i nolonger lingered after friday prayer among my brethren. i wentto temple at crowded times when the brahmins were toodistracted to come between god and me.