“change is inevitable, except from vending machines.” robert c. gallagher “peanut m&ms?” “yes. but with everyone it’s diff erent.” “what in the world are you talking about?” “have you ever gone into a restaurant or grocery store where you know they have a specific food that you really like, but they never seem to have it when you’re there?” penelope’s mind flashed to the great grits/risotto incident the day before, but she wasn’t about to tell him how close to the mark he was. “i have no idea what you’re talking about.” “mine was peanut m&ms. every store i went to was always sold out.” “you are a very odd person.” “i’ve been told that before.” “i don’t doubt it for a moment.” “back to m&ms. food is an essential of life and the diff erent elements of your mind want to control it. one part of your brain wants something sweet, while another part knows it’s bad for you and wants you to avoid it. when they get into conflict, the power of thought just makes it go away.” “do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” “not if you’re dying to have a peanut m&m.” “so all of my problems are related to food?” 55 the fourth awakening “now who’s being ridiculous?” “what?” “you asked me for examples of things you wouldn’t understand and i gave you a general one and a more specific one. i gave no indication that it was an exhaustive list.” “oh, so there is a list now? and you have all of the answers to my problems.” “of course not.” “th at’s reassuring.” “only you can answer some of the questions.” “so i already have some of the answers.” “all of them, actually. but your mind won’t let you accept them yet.” “yet?” “yes.” penelope propped her elbows on the table, placed her hands under her chin and stared at walker. he seemed completely sincere. crazy as a march hare, but sincere. “if i already have all of the answers, why do i need you?” “excellent question. in theory you don’t need me at all. there have been many cases where people simply stumble into enlightenment without even realizing it.” “enlightenment?” “i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” “you’re right, i don’t believe you.” “you need to, and pretty quickly. being around me, even for a short period of time, has been shown to accelerate the growth process. th is will put you at risk.” “just being in your presence is all it takes, huh? no shortage of ego, i see.” walker smiled but didn’t answer. “ok, i’ll play along… what kind of risk?” “thought is thought. there is no good or evil. a negative thought carries the same moral authority as a positive one. you’re in the early stages, and have not yet learned to control your emotions or how to protect yourself from thoughts you don’t want. emotionally charged negative thoughts tend to be more strongly felt than positive ones. you run the risk of manifesting something that you really don’t intend or want for yourself or those around you. you need to be very careful.” “so think nothing but happy thoughts.” 56 rod pennington & jeffery a. martin “well, preferably positive ones. especially ones involving uplift ing emotions such as love, peace, or joy.” obviously walker was sarcasm challenged. “or just think, ‘cancel, cancel’ after a negative thought.” “cancel, cancel?” “yes.” this interview was not going at all as she had expected. th e few questions she had asked and the off the wall answers she had gotten in return had already caused her mind to begin to create a long list of additional questions. she was starting to understand the senator’s warning about him being exasperating. “positive thoughts; cancel cancel, got it.” penelope was starting to feel like she had fallen down a rabbit hole and was now having tea with the mad hatter. then something occurred to her. “is the uncontrolled acceleration of the, what did you call it, the growth process, what happened on the hermes project?” a broad grin spread across walker’s face as he nodded his approval. “what?” “excellent deduction. that is exactly what happened on the hermes project. we inadvertently allowed people to develop too quickly.” “what happened to them?” walker’s shoulders slumped and his face grew dark. “it was bad, but i’ll explain that in due course. why don’t we get to the questions you really want to ask?” “okay. tell me about the hermes project and what methods you used to obtain mind control.” “methods? mind control?” “chemicals, electric shock, mind-altering drugs?” “wow. you make it sound like we’re reenacting the cia’s experiments in the 50’s and 60’s with lsd and drug addicts, prostitutes, prisoners and mental patients.” “when the government is spending this much time and effort to keep something secret, it has been my experience that it is not usually good.” “have you considered the possibility we stumbled upon something that could change the world for the better but scares the daylights out of a bunch of powerful people who only want to protect the status quo?” of all the scenarios she had contemplated while driving back from columbia, she had to admit this one had not crossed her mind. “what 57 the fourth awakening did you discover?” walker made a face. “wait! wait! let me guess? you can’t tell me that yet.” “if i told you we had found a new path to enlightenment that didn’t require decades of meditation and prayer, would you believe it?” “probably not.” “how about if i told you we have opened a door that will change the entire world as you know it, would you believe that?” “defi nitely not.” “there you have it; i can’t answer all of your questions right now.” “because my mind would refuse to believe your answers?” “it just did.” she studied walker for a few seconds as she tried to decide what approach would be the best to get the most information in the shortest amount of time. he had the kind eyes and serene smile of someone totally at ease with himself. despite her strong initial misgivings, she felt herself not only starting to like this man with the annoying speaking style, but also beginning to feel that he was someone she might be able to trust. “would my mind be able to comprehend what you were doing before you made your earth-shattering discovery?” “i didn’t make it. dr. carl altman did the basic research…” “who is dr. carl altman?” “he’s a professor of physics specializing in quantum mechanics and chaos theory at california institute of technology, and a nobel prizewinning scientist. he’s actually the one who started the project; i came in later.” “how did you get involved?” “the decision was made to move the hermes project away from the college campus and turn it over to the research wing of one of my companies… ” “that would be the ultra secret group that does work for the defense department?” “this was a request from homeland security, not the dod. have you always been a conspiracy nut, or is this something you’ve just recently acquired?” “during my formative years we had the vietnam war and watergate. forgive me for having a healthy dose of skepticism towards government.” “healthy? hmm. why is it you reporters seem to think everyone in 58 rod pennington & jeffery a. martin washington is channeling richard nixon?” “because all too often they are. can we get back to the hermes project?” “okay. after we had taken over the project, i personally got involved.” “what about it interested you?” walker let out a deep sigh. “let me try to put this in terms you’ll be ready to accept. if i start to leave you behind, let me know.” “okay.” “two hundred years ago, if you wanted to go from new york city to san francisco you either spent many months walking or riding a horse across the entire north american continent, or you risked taking a ship all the way around the tip of south america. both choices were fraught with danger. today, you can get on a plane with the biggest risk being that you might get stuck next to a crying child for six hours.” “is there a point somewhere in my future?” “the point is this. the road to enlightenment has always been either long and difficult, or totally random and immediate. for seekers it oft en requires decades of commitment to meditation, ritual, or prayer. many, if not most, people who commit their entire lives to pursuing it never get there. others who are not pursuing it, and probably have never thought about it, just randomly have it happen. in either case, we’re talking about a very small percentage of the overall population, probably far less than one percent. what we’re trying to do is use the explosion of knowledge that has occurred in the past 100 years to make the trip easier. why walk when you can ride? why ride when you can fl y? “do you know how silly that sounds?” “maybe now, but hopefully that will change soon.”