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Marion Fay

CHAPTER XX. NEVER, NEVER, TO COME AGAIN.
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the trouble to hampstead occasioned by the accident was considerable, as was also for the first twenty-four hours his anxiety and that of his sister as to the young man's fate. he got back to gorse hall early in the day, as there was no more hunting after the killing of that first fox. there had been a consultation as to the young man, and it had been held to be best to have him taken to the inn at which he had been living, as there would be room there for any of his friends who might come to look after him. but during the whole of that day inquiries were made at gorse hall after lord hampstead himself, so general had been the belief that he was the victim. from all the towns around, from peterborough, oundle, stilton, and thrapstone, there came mounted messengers, with expressions of hope and condolence as to the young lord's broken bones.

and then the condition of their poor neighbour was so critical that they found it to be impossible to leave gorse hall on the next day, as they had intended. he had become intimate with them, and had breakfasted at gorse hall on that very morning. in one way hampstead felt that he was responsible, as, had he not been in the way, poor walker's horse would have been next to the gate, and would not have attempted the impossible jump. they were compelled to put off the journey till the monday. "will go by the 9.30 train," said hampstead in his telegram, who, in spite of poor walker's mangled body, was still determined to see marion on that day. on the saturday morning it became known to him and his sister that the false report had been in the london newspapers, and then they had found themselves compelled to send telegrams to every one who knew them, to the marquis, and to the lawyer in london, to mr. roberts, and to the housekeeper at hendon hall. telegrams were also sent by lady amaldina to lady persiflage, and especially to lord llwddythlw. vivian sent others to the civil service generally. hautboy was very eager to let everybody know the truth at the pandemonium. never before had so many telegrams been sent from the little office at gimberley. but there was one for which hampstead demanded priority, writing it himself, and himself giving it into the hands of the despatching young lady, the daughter of the gimberley grocer, who no doubt understood the occasion perfectly.

to marion fay, 17, paradise row, holloway.

it was not i who was hurt. shall be at no. 17 by three on monday.

"i wonder whether they heard it down at trafford," said lady amaldina to lady frances. on this subject they were informed before the day was over, as a long message came from mr. roberts in compliance with the instructions from the marquis. "because if they did what a terrible disappointment my aunt will have to bear."

"do not say anything so horrible," said lady frances.

"i always look upon aunt clara as though she were not quite in her right senses about her own children. she thinks a great injury is done her because her son is not the heir. now for a moment she will have believed that it was so." this, however, was a view of the matter which lady frances found herself unable to discuss.

"he's going to get well after all," said hautboy that evening, just before dinner. he had been running over to the inn every hour to ask after the condition of poor walker. at first the tidings had been gloomy enough. the doctor had only been able to say that he needn't die because of his broken bones. then late in the afternoon there arrived a surgeon from london who gave something of a stronger hope. the young man's consciousness had come back to him, and he had expressed an appreciation for brandy and water. it was this fact which had seemed so promising to young lord hautboy. on the saturday there came mrs. walker and miss walker, and before the sunday evening it was told how the patient had signified his intention of hunting again on the first possible opportunity. "i always knew he was a brick," said hautboy, as he repeated the story, "because he always would ride at everything."

"i don't think he'll ever ride again at the fence just out of gimberley wood," said lord hampstead. they were all able to start on the monday morning without serious concern, as the accounts from the injured man's bed-room were still satisfactory. that he had broken three ribs, a collar-bone, and an arm seemed to be accounted as nothing. nor was there much made of the scalp wound on his head, which had come from a kick the horse gave him in the struggle. as his brains were still there, that did not much matter. his cheek had been cut open by a stake on which he fell, but the scar, it was thought, would only add to his glories. it was the pressure of the horse which had fallen across his body which the doctors feared. but hautboy very rightly argued that there couldn't be much danger, seeing that he had recovered his taste for brandy and water. "if it wasn't for that," said hautboy, "i don't think i'd have gone away and left him."

lord hampstead found, when he reached home on the monday morning, that his troubles were not yet over. the housekeeper came out and wept, almost with her arms round his neck. the groom, and the footman, and the gardener, even the cowboy himself, flocked about him, telling stories of the terrible condition in which they had been left after the coming of the quaker on the friday evening. "i didn't never think i'd ever see my lord again," said the cook solemnly. "i didn't a'most hope it," said the housemaid, "after hearing the quaker gentleman read it all out of the newspaper." lord hampstead shook hands with them all, and laughed at the misfortune of the false telegram, and endeavoured to be well pleased with everything, but it occurred to him to think what must have been the condition of mr. fay's house that night, when he had come across from holloway through the darkness and rain to find out for his girl what might be the truth or falsehood of the report which had reached him.

at 3.0 punctually he was in paradise row. perhaps it was not unnatural that even then his advent should create emotion. as he turned down from the main road the very potboy from "the duchess" rushed up to him, and congratulated him on his escape. "i have had nothing to escape," said lord hampstead trying to pass on. but mrs. grimley saw him, and came out to him. "oh, my lord, we are so thankful;—indeed, we are."

"you are very good, ma'am," said the lord.

"and now, lord 'ampstead, mind and be true to that dear young lady who was well-nigh heart-broke when she heard as it were you who was smashed up."

he was hurrying on finding it impossible to make any reply to this, when miss demijohn, seeing that mrs. grimley had been bold enough to address the noble visitor to their humble street, remembering how much she had personally done in the matter, having her mind full of the important fact that she had been the first to give information on the subject to the row generally, thinking that no such appropriate occasion as this would ever again occur for making personal acquaintance with the lord, rushed out from her own house, and seized the young man's hand before he was able to defend himself. "my lord," she said, "my lord, we were all so depressed when we heard of it."

"were you, indeed?"

"all the row was depressed, my lord. but i was the first who knew it. it was i who communicated the sad tidings to miss fay. it was, indeed, my lord. i saw it in the evening tell-tale, and went across with the paper at once."

"that was very good of you."

"thank'ee, my lord. and, therefore, seeing you and knowing you,—for we all know you now in paradise row—"

"do you now?"

"every one of us, my lord. therefore i thought i'd just make bold to come out and introduce myself. here's mrs. duffer. i hope you'll let me introduce you to mrs. duffer of no. 15. mrs. duffer, lord hampstead. and oh, my lord, it will be such an honour to the row if anything of that kind should happen."

lord hampstead, having with his best grace gone through the ceremony of shaking hands with mrs. duffer, who had come up to him and clara just at the step of the quaker's house, was at last allowed to knock at the door. miss fay would be with him in a minute, said the old woman as she showed him into the sitting-room up-stairs.

marion, as soon as she heard the knock, ran for a moment to her own bed-room. was it not much to her that he was with her again, not only alive, but uninjured, that she should again hear his voice, and see the light of his countenance, and become aware once more of a certain almost heavenly glory which seemed to surround her when she was in his presence? she was aware that on such occasions she felt herself to be lifted out of her ordinary prosaic life, and to be for a time floating, as it were, in some upper air; among the clouds, indeed;—alas, yes; but among clouds which were silver-lined; in a heaven which could never be her own, but in which she could dwell, though it were but for an hour or two, in ecstasy,—if only he would allow her to do so without troubling her with further prayer. then there came across her a thought that if only she could so begin this interview with him that it might seem to be an occasion of special joy,—as though it were a thanksgiving because he had come back to her safe,—she might, at any rate for this day, avoid words from him which might drive her again to refuse his great request. he already knew that she loved him, must know of what value to her must be his life, must understand how this had come at first a terrible, crushing, killing sorrow, and then a relief which by the excess of its joy must have been almost too much for her. could she not let all that be a thing acknowledged between them, which might be spoken of as between dearest friends, without any allusion for the present to that request which could never be granted?

but he, as he waited there a minute or two, was minded to make quite another use of the interview. he was burning to take her in his arms as his own, to press his lips to hers and know that she returned his caress, to have the one word spoken which would alone suffice to satisfy the dominating spirit of the man within him. had she acceded to his request, then his demand would have been that she should at once become his wife, and he would not have rested at peace till he had reduced her months to weeks. he desired to have it all his own way. he had drawn her into his presence as soon almost as he had seen her. he had forced upon her his love. he had driven her to give him her heart, and to acknowledge that it was so. of course he must go on with his triumph over her. she must be his altogether, from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet,—and that without delay. his hunting and his yacht, his politics and his friendships, were nothing to him without marion fay. when she came into the room, his heart was in sympathy with her, but by no means his mind.

"my lord," she said, letting her hand lie willingly between the pressure of his two, "you may guess what we suffered when we heard the report, and how we felt when we learnt the truth."

"you got my telegram? i sent it as soon as i began to understand how foolish the people had been."

"oh yes, my lord. it was so good of you!"

"marion, will you do something for me?"

"what shall i do, my lord?"

"don't call me, 'my lord.'"

"but it is proper."

"it is most improper, and abominable, and unnatural."

"lord hampstead!"

"i hate it. you and i can understand each other, at any rate."

"i hope so."

"i hate it from everybody. i can't tell the servants not to do it. they wouldn't understand me. but from you! it seems always as though you were laughing at me."

"laugh at you!"

"you may if you like it. what is it you may not do with me? if it were really a joke, if you were quizzing, i shouldn't mind it." he held her hand the whole time, and she did not attempt to withdraw it. what did her hand signify? if she could only so manage with him on that day that he should be satisfied to be happy, and not trouble her with any request. "marion," he said, drawing her towards him.

"sit down, my lord. well. i won't. you shan't be called my lord to-day, because i am so happy to see you;—because you have had so great an escape."

"but i didn't have any escape."

if only she could keep him in this way! if he would only talk to her about anything but his passion! "it seemed to me so, of course. father was broken-hearted about it. he was as bad as i. think of father going down without his tea to hendon hall, and driving the poor people there all out of their wits."

"everybody was out of his wits."

"i was," she said, bobbing her head at him. she was just so far from him, she thought, as to be safe from any impetuous movement. "and hannah was nearly as bad." hannah was the old woman. "you may imagine we had a wretched night of it."

"and all about nothing," said he, falling into her mood in the moment. "but think of poor walker."

"yes, indeed! i suppose he has friends, too, who loved him, as—as some people love you. but he is not going to die?"

"i hope not. who is that young woman opposite who rushed out to me in the street? she says she brought you the news first."

"miss demijohn."

"is she a friend of yours?"

"no," said marion, blushing as she spoke the word very firmly.

"i am rather glad of that, because i didn't fall in love with her. she introduced me to ever so many of the neighbours. the landlady of the public-house was one, i think."

"i am afraid they have offended you among them."

"not in the least. i never take offence except when i think people mean it. but now, marion, say one word to me."

"i have said many words. have i not said nice words?"

"every word out of your mouth is like music to me. but there is one word which i am dying to hear."

"what word?" she said. she knew that she should not have asked the question, but it was so necessary for her to put off the evil if it were only for a moment.

"it is whatever word you may choose to use when you speak to me as my wife. my mother used to call me john; the children call me jack; my friends call me hampstead. invent something sweet for yourself. i always call you marion because i love the sound so dearly."

"every one calls me marion."

"no! i never did so till i had told myself that, if possible, you should be my own. do you remember when you poked the fire for me at hendon hall?"

"i do;—i do. it was wrong of me; was it not;—when i hardly knew you?"

"it was beyond measure good of you; but i did not dare to call you marion then, though i knew your name as well as i do now, marion! i have it here, written all round my heart." what could she say to a man who spoke to her after this fashion? it was as though an angel from heaven were courting her! if only she could have gone on listening so that nothing further should come of it! "find some name for me, and tell me that it shall be written round your heart."

"indeed it is. you know it is, lord hampstead."

"but what name?"

"your friend;—your friend of friends."

"it will not do. it is cold."

"then it is untrue to her from whom it comes. do you think that my friendship is cold for you?"

she had turned towards him, and was sitting before him with her face looking into his, with her hands clasped as though in assurance of her truth;—when suddenly he had her in his arms and had pressed his lips to hers. in a moment she was standing in the middle of the room. though he was strong, her strength was sufficient for her. "my lord!" she exclaimed.

"ah, you are angry with me?"

"my lord, my lord,—i did not think you would treat me like that."

"but, marion; do you not love me?"

"have i not told you that i do? have i not been true and honest to you? do you not know it all?" but in truth he did not know it all. "and now i must bid you never, never to come again."

"but i shall come. i will come. i will come always. you will not cease to love me?"

"no;—not that—i cannot do that. but you must not come. you have done that which makes me ashamed of myself." at that moment the door was opened, and mrs. roden came into the room.

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