it was one evening in summer, the time of the long day, when the twilight is equally long, that i sat before the tepee fire of my host, smoking-star. according to his own belief, he had seen the snows of nine times around his hands, or ninety years, as we count it. he was regarded as by far the oldest living blackfoot, but his eye was bright and his memory good. that evening as we smoked in silence, i mused on the cross-section of man’s history this venerable life would reveal, if it could be read. i told him how i felt, and my pleasure if he would tell his story for me. he sat long and silently, as is the way of his people; then rose, and with great dignity, left the tepee. presently he returned and when seated, said, “the smoking-star, mars, is high. he shines approvingly. i have long lived by his power. i believe he will not be offended if i tell you the story of my life.”

so runs the tale of old smoking-star as near as my memory can follow:

my father’s name was old-beaver, chief of the small-robe band, to which band i still belong. my mother came from the fat-roasting band, she was the younger wife of my father, her older sister being the first, or head-wife. a child always calls each of his father’s women mother and also all the women married to father’s and mother’s brothers; just why this is we do not know, but it is our way. my father was very kind to me, but my older mother was cross.

i suppose i was born in a small tepee set up outside, for such is the custom. also i suppose that for a time my mother laid aside all ornaments and affected carelessness of person. if anyone should gaze at her, she would say, “don’t. my child will look like you; you are ugly, etc.” she was attended by women only, for men should not approach the birthplace. even my father was not permitted to enter and it was many days before he saw me. in due time, i suppose, i was strapped to a cradle board. later, a name was conferred 46 upon me by my father, he being a chief. unless a man is great, he does not name his child, but calls some man possessing these qualifications. having once captured two guns from the cree, my father told the story of that deed, or coup, and named me two-guns. it is the belief that the qualities of the namer and the name itself pass to the child; hence great importance is given to the name and the conferring of it is a solemn occasion. the black-robe (priest) tells me it is much the same with your people.

also, i suppose that when i got my first tooth, my grandmothers reminded my parents that it was time to do something. so a feast was made, presents given, and prayers offered. this was, no doubt, repeated when i took my first step and when i learned to speak. but i do remember having my ears pierced. that is the first memory of childhood. i can still see a terrible looking old grandmother standing up before me, holding up a bone awl. i was never so frightened in my life. you have seen how it is done at the sun dance, where some old woman cries out, “i quilled a robe, all with these hands. so i have the power to do this.” just like a warrior recounting a coup.

my real mother never reproved me, but when i began to run about, my older mother did not like to have me meddling with her things. often she would make threats to me in a kind of song, as—“there is a coyote outside. come coyote, and eat up this naughty baby.” again, “come old crooked-back woman; bring your meat pounder; smash this baby’s head.” the woman referred to was a crazy cripple who terrorized the children because some of them teased her. i was very much afraid, so that usually all my older mother need say was, “sh-h-h!” and mumble something about the coyote or the woman. i have noticed that among your people, parents strike their children. that is not our way. if they will not listen to advice, an uncle may be called upon to exercise discipline and if necessary he will punish, but whipping is the way of the police societies. once i saw the police whip a chief because he broke the rules of the buffalo hunt.

soon i began to play with the older boys; in winter we spun tops on the ice and in the snow, coasted the hills on toboggans made of buffalo ribs, or just stood up on a dry skin, holding up the end. in summer there were all kinds of games: racing, follow-the-leader, 47 arrow games, the wheel game, etc. i had a hobby-horse, made of a bent stick, with a saddle and bridle, upon which i played running buffalo and going to war. i even learned to play tricks upon old people. sometimes we would be playing where old women came to gather firewood and when one of them had a great heap of wood on her pack line, she would squat with her back against the wood, the lines in her hands, and call for us to help raise the load; occasionally, we would assist until she reached her feet and then, with a quick push, send her sprawling with the wood on top. then we would run away to escape a beating. again, as water was carried in pails made of buffalo paunch, some boys would ambush the path and shoot an arrow into the pail, letting out the water. but usually we let older people alone, for, if caught, we were severely handled.

when about six years old one of my grandfathers made me a bow; he prayed for me and said if i killed anything i should bring in the scalp to prove it. he told me the story of scar-face and the dangerous birds. some time after this i killed a bird, my first, and my father made a feast, calling in many great men, who smoked many pipes, told of great deeds and predicted that i would be a great warrior. the skin of the bird was put into my grandfather’s war bundle.

when we traveled my mother carried me on her saddle or put me on a travois, hitched to a dog or some trusty old mare. but when i was old enough to ride alone, my father went on the war-path to the assiniboin country and brought back six horses; one pony he gave to me. before i learned to ride it well, it was stolen by the cree. at the same time my older mother was killed and scalped while out picking berries. all this made a deep impression upon me and i resolved to prepare for the war-path and to take vengeance on the cree, particularly for the loss of my pony. in the meantime my father gave me another pony.

one morning when i was about eleven years old, i was terribly frightened to find a man from a police society standing at the door, shouting for me to come out at once. it was cold and stormy, but he ordered me to the water for a plunge and when i stood on the bank whimpering, he threw me headlong into the icy current. the older boys were splashing about gaily, but it was hard for me. when i crept back to the tepee, shivering, my old grandmother began to sing 48 a derisive song about a would-be warrior who turned to an old woman. after that i went daily to the bath and soon became hard and strong.

the next summer our people were camped on milk river where buffalo were plenty. the berries were just turning. one day while herding the horses i fell to eating berries and that night became ill. the next day i was very sick and a doctor was sent for. old one-ear came, a man all of us feared, sat by my bed, beat upon a drum, sang in a loud voice, then turned down the robes that covered me, held a tube of bone against my breast and sucked violently. then he arose and spat out a grasshopper. everyone said that i would soon be well, and i was. but while i was too weak to go out, my grandfather came in and told me tales of the war-path and occasionally of the lost children, the woman-who-went-to-the-sky, morningstar, scar-face, blood-clot, and other tales. i came to take a deep interest in these tales and to think more and more of going to war. when i could go out, my people were holding the sun dance and one evening i heard my father reciting his coups, putting on the fire a stick for each. at last when there was a great blaze from so much wood, the people all shouted. it was a proud moment for me and from then on i began to train for the war-path.

before cold weather our people separated, as was their custom, and our band, with the fat-roasters and the many-medicines, made winter camp on the two medicine river. it was a cold winter, but buffalo were plenty and we did not mind. in the spring my father led a war party against the crow. i knew nothing of it until they had gone, but even had i known, he would not have taken me. i felt very sad and spent most of the time sitting on a hill, meditating. one day, on coming to camp i heard the women and even old men wailing. i saw my mother before our door hacking her bare leg with her butchering knife. then i knew what had happened. the camp crier began to shout out that a runner had come in from a distant camp to say that old-beaver and all his party had been killed by the crows. when i met my old grandmother, with blood streaming down her bare arms, the sight sickened me and i fled to the hilltop and meditated further. as i thought of how coup had been counted on my father, my anger grew and i vowed to take a crow scalp at the first opportunity.

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our camp mourned long after this. it was also necessary to select a new chief. one good-runner was well thought of and was our choice, but an evil-minded fellow named crow-eye sought the place. finding that he was in disfavor, crow-eye secretly loaded a gun, entered the tepee of good-runner and shot him down. crow-eye’s relatives put him on a horse and sent him away for a few days, while they made presents to the relatives of good-runner. well, in the end crow-eye became chief, but it was a sorry time for us all.

as was the custom, my mother went to live with her people, or the fat-roasting band. my mother’s brother now took an interest in me. he gave me a gun. guns were scarce in those days. my grandfather remembered when the first gun came to us and said that his father knew when the first horse came. i now spent much of my time with my uncle, though i still looked upon the small-robes band as my band. he helped me to buy a place in the pigeon society and every spring and summer i danced with them and sometimes helped guard the camp at night when the great camp circle was formed.

it was during the summer following my father’s death that i was taken on my first buffalo hunt. sometimes boys were severely whipped by the police if found joining in running buffalo before they were old enough. but now my uncle took me with him. as guns were scarce, we kept them for war, and killed buffalo with arrows. when we rode at the herd, i took after a young cow. she was very fleet, but at last i drew alongside and sent an arrow into her. when she fell i stood by in awe. my relations praised me and my mother tanned the skin to make a robe for me. i was now a hunter and always joined in the killing unchallenged.

that autumn my mother ceased to mourn and married a man in the lone-eaters band. after this i saw little of her, for they camped apart and i stayed with my uncle, but danced with my father’s band, the small-robes. about this time my uncle explained to me the ways of women and the duties of a man, so i began to look forward to having a woman of my own. i began to practice on the flageolet and to seek meetings with the girls of the camp on the path to the water hole; but i knew that though i had become a hunter, i had yet to go to war and to become a man. the opportunity soon came, for i was now about fourteen years old.

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one day my uncle said, “now it is time for you to go to war. when the moon is full, i shall lead a party to the crow country. you can be the water boy.” you know how it was with us, a boy might be taken to war to do errands. this is how he got his experience.

my uncle had a war bundle, or medicine, in which were a collar of coyote skin, a bird to tie in his hair, some tobacco, a pipe, paints, a whistle and a rattle. every night we gathered in his tepee to sing the songs of his bundle and to work out the plan for our raid. at last, we were off, eight of us. though still a boy, i was permitted to take my gun, my bow, and a knife. as we were leaving the tepee my old grandmother asked me not to go; she took my hand and began to wail, but i pulled away. at the edge of the camp stood my uncle’s father-in-law. he pled for all to return. said he, “i have many horses, more than you can get from the crow. take what you want and stay at home. i am old and have not long to be with you.” but we marched by in silence.

pranks are usually played upon a boy on his first war excursion. the first night one of the warriors said, “take this pail and run down that path for water, it is far.” i set out briskly only to step into a a deep pool of ill-smelling mud. about this i was teased, and all manner of jokes were made. of course, the warriors knew the pool was there. they joked about my new paint, my new way of deceiving an enemy, my new perfume (love medicine), and so on. finally one man in a very solemn manner conferred a new name upon me—stinking-legs. from that time on, all of them called me by that name.

but by the next night we were in the open country and there was little hilarity. my uncle opened his bundle and performed the ritual for it, all of us singing in a low subdued tone. after this we traveled mostly by night and slept by day, though the warriors took turns scouting. on the fourth day, a scout reported the enemy.

“now,” said my uncle, “it is time to sing the ‘tapping-the-stick.’” so we all sat in a circle and my uncle began singing very softly, keeping time by tapping lightly on the stock of his gun with the end of his pipe-stick. he sang about a love affair and at the end named the woman. so it went around the circle. the last man, next to me, sang, and then named a young girl i was very fond of. instinctively, 51 i grasped my knife, but then, oh shame! i was not yet a warrior, for here no one must resent. so i desisted, but i lay awake the rest of the day struggling with my anger. this was all very foolish, for the man was only teasing me; yet few men would venture to jest in such songs.

that night we stole out and found the crow camp unguarded. so we took all the loose horses grazing outside and made off with them. not even a dog barked. when at a safe distance my uncle told us to follow a warrior named running-crane, that he and one man were going back to get scalps to pay for my father’s death, that they would join us at the rendezvous later. my uncle was accompanied by the man who sang about my girl. on the third day my uncle overtook us, but he was alone. what became of his companion he knew not; he was never seen after they separated to steal into the crow camp. that was what came of jesting with medicine songs. all holy things must be respected. but my uncle had brought a scalp, a shield, and a gun. so we were happy.

when we got home there was feasting and scalp dancing for all. finally, my old grandmother drew me out into full view, harangued the crowd upon my greatness as a warrior and said, “now you must have been given a new name. what is it?” i hung my head for shame, “oh!” she said, “my grandson is modest.”

then my uncle came forward and told the story of the mud hole and called me, “stinking-legs.” then merriment broke loose and for a long time i was teased about it.

two of the captured horses were allotted to me: one i gave to my grandfather. not long after my uncle told me it was time to seek power. this meant that i must fast and sacrifice, seeking a vision. so i took my other crow horse to old medicine-bear, a shaman, offered him a pipe, and made my request. my instruction took many weeks. i was introduced to the sweat house and other ceremonies, learned how to make the pipe offering, to cry for power, and so forth. at last all was ready and old medicine-bear left me alone on a high hill to fast, dance, and pray. each evening and morning he came and, standing afar off, exhorted me to greater efforts. by the third day i was too exhausted to stand. that night i lay on my back looking up at the sky. then i saw the smoking-star.[2] and as i gazed52 it came nearer and nearer. then i heard a voice, “my son, why do you cry here?” then i saw a fine warrior sitting on the ground before me, smoking my pipe. at last he said, “i will give you power. you are to take my name. you must never change it. always pray to me and i will help you.”

the next morning when old medicine-bear came and stood afar off i said, “something has been given me.” then he prayed and took me home. in due time he heard my story, composed a song for me, gave me a small medicine bundle and announced my new name. i was now a man of power. many young men offered to go to war with me, so i soon began to lead out parties. many coups i counted as the years passed, but all came by the power of the smoking-star. only once did this power seem to fail me on the war-path. i was alone and surrounded by the cree. at last i called upon the sun, offering to give him my little finger. then i overcame my enemies. so at the next sun dance i chopped off this finger (the left) and offered it to the sun to fulfil my vow. but this belongs to the second period in my life, of which i shall speak later.

shortly after i saw the smoking-star, i took a woman. my uncle and my grandparents had often hinted of marriage. i was particularly fond of a girl in the small-robe band, but could not court her openly because that was my band by right of my father, though i lived with the band of my mother, the fat-roasters. it is not good for a man to marry in his own band where most of his relatives live, but he can freely marry a woman of his mother’s band, if not too closely related to her. i could have joined my mother’s band, as my uncle urged, and then married the girl, but that seemed to me like evading my duty to uphold the honor of my father and to take revenge for his untimely death. people would talk about it. so i courted a girl in my mother’s band. as she was not closely related to me, there was no hindrance. our courtship was secret, as is often the custom; when i led out my first war party she slyly passed me a pair of moccasins. i think no one knew of our attachment. you see my mother’s people all looked upon me as one of their band, though they should not have done so, and so looked elsewhere for my future woman. long afterward i learned that they had picked a woman for me from the blood band, the widow of a young warrior, a good woman some ten years older than i, but it turned out otherwise.

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the girl i courted was named elk-woman. she and i were nearing twenty and it was time for her to marry, past time in fact. so her relatives arranged to give her to a man of the they-don’t-laugh-band. the relatives of both parties had feasted and talked over the affair and were about ready to exchange the first presents, when elk-woman’s relatives first suggested the marriage to her. she asked for time to think it over. that evening when i met her as usual in a secret place, she told me the story and cried. such a marriage was repugnant to her. i knew the man and had already come to dislike him. so that night we ran away. i took my horse, gun, and bow. we rode double. we went far up into the foothills of the mountains and made a secret camp.

some two weeks later my uncle trailed us and we had a talk. he said i had done a very foolish thing; that all of my woman’s relatives were angry and that the prospective husband vowed vengeance. however, as he had himself made the man a present of a horse and smoked a pipe with him, his anger was waning. he thought that since i had always adhered to my father’s band i should go there to live. anyway my father’s people would then protect me. in due time presents could be made to my parents-in-law. you see when a man takes a woman, he is required to give many presents to her parents; this is called paying for her. so, i had stolen my woman because nothing had been paid. this would always stand against me in the minds of the people.

the next day we went back to my father’s band. a poor old woman, an aunt of my father, one of my grandmothers, as we say, took us in as we had no tepee. no one seemed to take notice of us. when i hunted i took some of the meat and left it by the door of my father-in-law, as was the custom. finally, my uncle’s relatives got together and collected six horses, a few robes, a warrior’s suit, and a great lot of dried meat. in solemn procession they paraded over to the camp of my parents-in-law. then followed a feast and a reconciliation.

not long after this i happened to meet my mother-in-law in a path. no one must see the face of his mother-in-law; if he does he must make her a present to cover her shame. this accident cost me my gun. it was a grievous loss as we were still poor. my woman had not so much as a travois-dog to bring wood.

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at this point the narrator paused and began to fill his pipe. presently he said, “the smoking-star is still overhead. we have reached the fork of the first trail; the boy becomes a hunter, goes to war, has a vision, he joins the pigeons, then marries and takes his place among the men of his band. so far he travels but one trail. thenceforth it is different with us, some become warriors, some medicine men, some are chiefs. it is well that we rest here a little while, before i go on.”

when the pipe was burned out the story began thus:—

some time before i was married i bought into the mosquito society when they sold out to the pigeons. it was this way with us: there were nine societies for men, of different rank as follows; mosquitoes, braves, all-brave-dogs, front-tails, raven-bearers, dogs, kit-foxes, catchers, and bulls. lower than all was a boy’s society, the pigeons. to enter these societies you first bought into the pigeons; that is, you gave presents to an older member who in return transferred his membership to you. every four years each of the nine men’s societies sold to the next lower; so one might finally, if he lived to be an old man, become a member of the bulls. these societies were spoken of as the all-comrades. each had its own songs, dances, regalia, and ritual. when the whole tribe came together for the summer hunt and the sun dance, these societies were called upon to guard and police the camp. their parades and dances through the camp were very impressive. as all the members of a society were near the same age, these organizations are often called age-societies by the white people.

in time i passed through all of the societies and became a bull. when in the raven-bearers we gave a dance at a trading post where fort benton now stands and two strange white men watched us. one of them drew a picture of us and afterwards the older man asked questions of me through an interpreter and wrote something in a book. i heard that he came from across the great water as did the first white people, but i never saw him again.[3]

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when with my comrades in the bulls we sold out to the catchers, i became one of the old men to sit in council and advise the people. there are two leaders for each society. i was never a leader, because the leaders of one always sold to the leaders of the lower, and it so happened during my life that the same two men lived to reach the bulls. so there was no chance for anyone else to lead. but we are now far ahead of my story, i must begin with my life as one of the young married men.

after i came back with my woman to live in my band, old medicine-bear often sat in our tepee. (my woman soon tanned skins from my hunting and made a large fine tepee of our own.) he wished me to become a shaman like himself. you see i had experienced a real vision, few men who fasted received such power as came to me. i had the power to become a shaman, but i held to my vow to be a warrior. i was poor. so i led war parties against the cree, assiniboin, snake, and crow. many horses and guns i took. coups i counted and took three scalps from the crow. but i meditated often upon the powers in the air, water, and earth. they are the great mysteries. everything is done by them. about this time two things happened to me that turned my thoughts from war.

our chief led a party against the cree and invited me to go. the chief was jealous of me. as i told you, he was a bad man, but i could not refuse. medicine-bear, the shaman, went with us to give us power. when we reached the cree country i was ordered out as a scout. it was dark. as i went along i saw a tepee all by itself. i went up to it quietly and looked in. there was no one in the tepee except a man, his wife, and a little child. the little child could just walk and was amusing itself by dipping soup from the kettle with a small horn spoon. the man and his wife were busy talking and paid no attention to the child. now the child looked up and saw me peeping through the hole, toddled over to the kettle, dipped up some soup in the spoon and held it to my lips. i drank and the child returned to the kettle for more. in this way the child fed me for many minutes. then i went away. as i went along to my own party, i thought to myself, “i do not like to do this, but i must tell my party about this tepee. when they know of it, they will come and kill these people. this little child fed me even when 56 i was spying upon them, and i do not like to have it killed. well, perhaps i can save the child; but then it would be too bad for it to lose its parents. no, i do not see how i can save them, yet i cannot bear to have them killed.” i sat down and thought it over. after a while, i went back to the tepee, went in, and sat down. while my host was preparing the pipe, the child began to feed me again with the spoon. after we had smoked, i talked to the man in the sign-language, told him all about it, how i had come as a scout to spy upon them, how i was about to bring up my war party, but that they had been saved by the little child. then i directed the man to go at once, leaving everything behind him in the tepee.

the man was very thankful and offered to give me a medicine bundle and a suit of clothes; but i refused, because i knew that my party would suspect me. then the man suggested that he might place the bundle near the door, behind the bedding, so that when the war party came up and dashed upon the tepee, i would be the first to capture the bundle. (all the important property of the tepee is always kept at the back, opposite the door, and, when a war party rushes in, the swiftest runs to this place.)

then i reported to my chief, telling him that i had discovered a camp of the enemy but that i had not been up to it or seen anyone. he started out at once, all of us following. when we had surrounded the tepee, we gave a whoop and rushed upon it. i kept behind and while the others were busy counting coup upon the things in the back of the tepee, i seized the bundle by the door. the chief was angry, but said nothing. when we were again in camp old medicine-bear began to unwrap his war medicine pipe to make a thank offering for our success. then the chief faced me and denounced me as a traitor, accused me of warning the enemy and secreting the medicine bundle. my anger rose, i drew my knife, but at that moment old medicine-bear sprang between us, holding the holy pipe in both hands. this is the custom, no one can fight over a holy pipe. the shaman made us each take the pipe and vow to put away our anger and hold our silence. so it was.

never have i forgotten that little child. some great power was guarding it. its medicine was strong. many times have i prayed to that power and sometimes it helped me, but i do not yet know 57 what power it is. yet somehow i took little interest in war, the child’s medicine did that to me.

the next year i felt sad and gloomy. so i decided to go to war anyway. i led out a party of my own against the crow. the fourth night i went out to scout. it was cloudy and rather dark. as i was stealing along a marshy place, a star rose out of the earth and stood before me. it was the smoking-star. something in me said, “follow.” then the star led off slowly; gradually it took me to the back trail and then swiftly faded away, as it moved toward my woman’s tepee at home. i sat down and prayed. in my mind the smoking-star was telling me to go back.

when dawn came i returned to my party. i told my story. all agreed that we should go home for the signs were against us. when i got into our camp i saw many people standing about my woman’s tepee and heard a doctor’s drum. my son, my first born, was very ill. three doctors had been called, one after the other. i gave them all my horses. as is their way, when they feared the sick one would die, they departed. at last, i went out to the top of a hill to cry to the smoking-star. surely, i thought, he would help me, but clouds overcast the sky and there was no answer to my appeal. that morning the boy died.

in the afternoon the body was wrapped in a robe and placed in a tree near our camp. as he died in the tepee, we could not use it again so we placed it at the foot of the tree. i cropped my hair and mourned many days. now i was poor. all my horses went to the doctors. my woman’s tepee was gone and once again we lived with our poor old grandmother in her little ragged tepee; but in a few days my woman’s relatives gave her another tepee and after a time we again accumulated horses.

about this time medicine-bear became a beaver bundle owner. my misfortunes turned my mind more and more to the mysteries of the powers around us and i began to learn the songs and the teachings of the beaver men. the ritual for the beaver bundle is long and difficult. there are more than three hundred songs to be learned before one can lead the ceremony of the beaver. in the bundle are the skins of beavers, otters, and many kinds of birds and water animals. with each of these there are songs, for each brought some power to the man 58 who first saw it in a vision. my people did not plant corn, as did the mud-houses (mandan and hidatsa), but the beaver men planted tobacco. at the planting and the gathering of the tobacco, the beaver bundle is opened and the ritual sung. the garden and the plants are sacred, for tobacco must be offered to all the powers of the earth, and of the water. a beaver man must keep count of the days, the moons, and the winters. for this he keeps a set of sticks like those sometimes found in a beaver’s house. at all times he must be ready to tell the moon and the day; he must say when it is time to go on the spring hunt, to hold the sun dance, etc. then he must watch the sun, moon, stars, winds, and clouds so that he may know what the weather will be. if he is holy and good, he will have visions and dreams of power and so become a shaman.

so after my son died i often sat with the beaver men. in time i learned many of the beaver songs and became chief assistant to medicine-bear in the ceremonies. when i was an old man, medicine-bear died; it was the year before i sold out of the bull society (the year we saw the first steamboat). then i became the leading beaver man, as i am still.

when i first began to study the beaver medicine, i spent hours on the hilltops and near the waters, meditating and watching the birds, animals, and the heavens. yet such solemn thoughts did not occupy all my time as a young married man.

there was much sport in the winter camps. many men played the wheel and arrow game and again the hand game. these were the favorite gambling games. the first was for two players, but the latter permitted team playing. some men gambled away all their belongings and even their women. i never went so far. once i remember two young men played the wheel game until one lost all his possessions except his moccasins and his breechcloth, finally losing these, to the great merriment of the whole camp.

my band had a great reputation for jokes. in this i was a leader. once in the spring we fooled a man named bow-string. this man had a favorite race horse which he guarded very carefully, picketing him outside his tepee. one day i dressed myself to look like a crow, and while bow-string was inside playing the hand game, untied his horse and led him off up the hills across the creek. then a confederate 59 gave the alarm. all ran out to see a crow going off with the horse in broad day. of course, everyone knew the trick, but bow-string. care had been taken to send all the other horses of the camp out to pasture with a herder. so bow-string took a gun and set out with a pursuing party, afoot. everybody in camp appeared to be greatly frightened, women screamed, and all the dogs began to bark. as the supposed crow, i sprang upon the horse, waved a defiance and dashed over the hill.

once out of sight i rode quickly around the hills and got back to camp after the pursuers had passed over the ridge. after a fruitless search for the trail, the party came back, bow-string looking very sad. but there stood his horse tied as before! then there was great uproar and jesting.

a favorite trick of mine was often played upon visiting strangers, especially upon dignified old men. i would invite the guest to my tepee to feast with a few of my friends. then i would pretend to quarrel with my woman and we would fall to fighting. the others would try to separate us and so all begin to struggle, taking care to fall upon and thoroughly muss up the puzzled visitor.

our people were fond of liquor, which could be had when we went to the trading posts in summer. at such times there was much fighting. we all wanted liquor because we believed that some mysterious power could be had in that way. some men had visions while drunk, that made them shamans or doctors according to the powers that were given them. sometimes i drank liquor too. once when my woman was drunk also, we quarreled and i threatened to tomahawk her smallest child, but she snatched a burning stick from the fire and thrust the glowing end against my neck; you see the scar. after that i did not drink much. i was glad when the great father stopped the trading of liquor, it did us much harm.

once a year in summer all the bands of our tribe camped together. a great circle of tepees was formed and the societies had charge of the camp. at this time the sun dance was held. it was very sacred and lasted many days. no man was wise enough to know how all parts of it were conducted, so many medicine men were needed for the different rituals. some men would vow to torture themselves at this time. i once gave a finger to the sun, but that is not the real sacrifice. 60 those who made the vow have holes cut in the skin of their breasts and shoulders, through which sticks are thrust and cords attached. the ends of these cords are fastened to the center pole in the sun dance lodge, where these devotees dance and cry for power until they tear themselves free or fall in a swoon: i never made this sacrifice. i was afraid, for it is very holy. yet many times have i given bits of my skin to natos (the sun) as the scars upon my body show. these were not given in the sun dance, but when i was fasting alone in the hills.

a good and virtuous woman may often save the lives of her relatives by making a vow to take the tongues at the sun dance. my woman did this in the year known as “gambler-died-winter” (about 1845, according to most tribal counts). her brother was about to die. so she went outside, looked up at the sun, and said, “i will take the tongue at the sun dance.” her brother got well. if she had not been a pure and good woman, he would have died. in due time old medicine-bear, the beaver bundle man, was given a horse and called in to prepare her for the ordeal. during the spring a hundred buffalo tongues were sliced and dried. only true women are permitted to slice them. if a woman cuts her finger or cuts a hole in her slice, she is turned out because she has not been true to her husband. at the proper time in the sun dance, as the sun is setting, the women who have vowed to take the tongues go forward and in turn, take up a piece of tongue and holding it up to the sun, declare their purity. it is the duty of any man, who knows the claim to be false to come forward with a challenge. my woman was not challenged. everyone knew her to be pure and good.

once she was the holy woman to give the sun dance. it was in the deep snow winter (about 1851) that she became ill. many people were starving, for the buffalo had drifted far before the snowstorms. then my woman addressed the sun, saying that she would give the sun dance, next year. soon the people found buffalo and she got well.

a woman cannot give the sun dance alone, her man must also be good and brave. both must fast four days and sit in the holy tepee. the holy natoas bundle must be opened and the woman wear its sacred headdress, with the prairie turnip and carry the digging-stick used by the woman-who-married-a-star. that winter we were 61 camped on the missouri. the following summer we went to yellow river to give the sun dance.

now, it is our way, that the woman who vows to give the sun dance must buy a natoas bundle. the power and right to the ritual thus come to her. for this, many horses, robes, and dried meat must be given. when we came to bring our bundle all the people of our band and our relatives in other bands were called upon to help us by gifts. after the sun dance we kept the natoas bundle in our tepee and cared for it as the ritual required. my woman was now a medicine woman. she did not sell her bundle. in the blood-fought-among-themselves winter she died (about 1858). i put the bundle in her robe, set up her tepee on a high hill and left her there. that is our custom.

she was a good and true woman. after that i went to live with my son, as you now see. i never took another woman because the smoking-star appeared to me in a dream and forbade it.

in the course of time everyone came to look upon me as a shaman. no one will now walk before me as i sit in a tepee. in my presence all are dignified and orderly and avoid frivolous talk. four times in my life the smoking-star has stood before me. all visions are sacred, as are some dreams, but when a vision appears the fourth time, it is very holy. even a shaman may not speak of it freely. many times have i gone to lonely places and cried out to the powers of the air, the earth, and the waters to help me understand their ways. sometimes they have answered me, but all the truly great mysteries are beyond understanding.

in the year of the camp-at-bad-waters-winter the bull society sold out as i have said. that was the end of that society; there were but three of us left when we sold to the catchers and those to whom we sold soon died. the ways of the white man were coming among us and many things were passing away. i was now an old man, fit only for sitting in council. i could no longer run buffalo, no longer go to war. so we have come to the last fork in the trail. i have smoked many pipes. i have sat in many councils, i have made many speeches to restrain our young men from rash and unjust actions. we are near the end. the smoking-star will soon pass down in the west. soon it will lead me to the sand hills where my spirit will wander about among the ghosts of buffalo, horses, and men. your62 way is not our way, but you have loved us. perhaps your spirit also may return to wander with us among the sand hills of our fathers. i pray that it may be so. now, it is finished.

thoughtfully i left that fireside to find my blankets. as i passed out through the night, i saw the “smoking-star” sinking in the west. it shone to me with a new light. the next winter my old friend passed into the beyond. his body was laid on a tree scaffold near the favorite haunts of his band on two medicine river.

clark wissler