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Good Form for All Occasions

CHAPTER X
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bridge parties and evening receptions

arrangement of the card-tables—playing for prizes—good and bad manners at the card-table—why certain people are not asked—duties of hostess—card parties for charity—dress and etiquette of evening receptions.

the extreme popularity of bridge has somewhat lessened since the tango craze invaded society. card-playing still has many devotees, however, and is likely to have them in the future, as in the past. when not carried on too strenuously, it affords a mild and gentle form of amusement that is especially valuable to elderly persons, or to younger ones of quiet tastes.

for a bridge party, card-tables and light chairs can be hired from furniture stores or caterers. ordinary tables may be used, provided they are large enough to seat four persons comfortably, and not so large as to make it difficult to reach across them to gather up the tricks. it is now thought well to cover them with a cloth, although our grandparents used the bare mahogany, if we may judge by the tables that have come down to us. hostesses who often give card parties will find it convenient to buy several tables. these may be covered with green baize or enamel cloth, or upholstered in silk or damask to match the room. in the latter case one should have white linen slips that can be taken off and washed every time they are used. small, light chairs are preferred to heavy ones, and they must be of the right height. the hostess should measure her rooms beforehand, to see how many people she can accommodate comfortably.

space must be left to pass between the tables, and these must not be placed too near steam-pipes or draughty windows. the drawing-rooms should be well ventilated before the guests arrive, yet not quite so cool as they would be for a dance. should they become close in the course of the evening, the hostess should be careful not to open a window without warning those in the vicinity that she is about to do so, and so give them an opportunity of changing their seats. in a house furnished with electric lights, it is easy to have the rooms well lighted yet not overheated. where it is necessary to use lamps or candles, their arrangement will require some care. they must be near enough the players to enable them to see, yet never set on the card-table itself. it is dangerous to place them on stands so small and light that they are liable to be upset.

all the paraphernalia used in the game, the playing-cards, scoring tablets or cards, counters, etc., must be fresh and in good condition. a pencil that refuses to write furnishes one of the peculiarly exasperating, though small, miseries of life. if many people are invited, new cards should be provided. for progressive euchre there must be punches and score-cards. the hostess asks some one to do the punching, or attends to it herself. at a large party she does not play unless it is necessary to fill an empty place.

some persons think it no harm to play for money, provided the stakes are very small. the habit of gambling, which was introduced into society in this country not many years ago, has resulted in such scandals and so much evil that the wisest and safest way is to avoid it altogether. even where there is playing for money, a hostess must provide one or more tables for those guests who object to it on principle. good form and common sense alike demand this. many people become so excited by the desire to win the prize or stakes of the evening that they treat one another with scanty politeness, and the unfortunate player who makes a mistake is often roundly scolded for her carelessness. during the card mania which prevailed at newport a year or two ago, it was said that many people did not speak as they passed by, owing to quarrels over bridge. to give prizes that are very handsome and expensive is not considered to be in the best taste. the hostess should take pains to secure articles that are pretty and attractive, but not of great money value. it is also thought best not to show them until the playing is over.

some people find it interesting to play nominally, but not actually, for money. a gentleman who took part in a series of games while crossing the atlantic was relieved when the voyage was over to find that the ladies of the party construed all the financial obligations in a purely pickwickian sense. the score was made out, but no payments were permitted. it need scarcely be said that a real debt at the gaming-table is held to be one of honor, for the simple reason that there is no legal obligation to pay it. to induce a young man or woman to play, and perhaps lose a large sum of money, may be thought a greater offense against honor.

good form demands that all who take part in a game of cards shall pay strict attention to it and follow the rules. not every one can win, but all should do their best. it is extremely annoying to devotees of bridge to be interrupted by conversation while the hands are being played. the great actress charlotte cushman once had her patience severely taxed by a gentleman who persisted in talking to her partner. presently she said in her rich, deep voice, with great emphasis:

“remember, this is whist.”

the effect was startling, and the offender sinned no more, at least on that occasion.

if a player does her best, more cannot be expected of her. to find fault with one’s partner, asking her in an injured tone why she did not return a certain lead, or why she played that ace of hearts second hand, is decidedly bad form. we must always remember that among ladies and gentlemen card-playing should be considered as an amusement, serious if you will, but nevertheless a form of diversion and not a matter of business. hence the well-bred woman loses neither her temper nor her philosophical spirit. she may wish to win, but her desire must not be so overwhelming as to make every one feel uncomfortable if she loses. if she destroys the pleasure of her neighbors by sulking, by snubbing or scolding her partner, she has only herself to thank if she is not invited to card parties. the habitual late-comer is also likely to be left out. the person who arrives after every one has begun to play, or who leaves before the games are over, interferes seriously with the pleasure of others. as we have said above, the hostess does not play when many persons are present, in order that she may be free to receive late-comers and to have a general supervision of the comfort and pleasure of her guests.

bridge parties may be arranged for the afternoon or evening, or they may take place in connection with a luncheon or a dinner. in either of the latter cases it suffices to have lemonade or some other cooling drink handed to the guests as they sit at the card-table. some hostesses offer sandwiches also, or give ices in the evening; others serve tea in the afternoon. where guests are invited to the card party only, a light supper is served in the evening. hostesses who expect to have bridge follow a dinner should either invite card-players only or else arrange for the entertainment of those who do not take part in the game. it is rather forlorn for a single couple to be left out in the cold when the players retire to another room and shut the doors to avoid being disturbed. the former, having no one save their hosts to talk to, soon take their leave.

card parties are often used as a means of raising money for a charity, or for the work of a society. these may be given at a hotel, a woman’s club-house, or a private house. in the case last mentioned, the hostess throws open her rooms and provides the refreshments, or a part of them, as may be preferred. the members of the society may each bring a cake or some sandwiches, the lady of the house furnishing tea and chocolate. it is usually arranged to have several ladies buy a table apiece for a certain sum of money. if this is two dollars, they sell the single seats to their friends for fifty cents each, or invite the latter to come as their guests. they bring their own outfit—cards, score, and the light, collapsible tables that are easily carried; or these may be sent beforehand to the house of the hostess. occasionally an enterprising member of the society brings some of her own handiwork and offers it for sale, thus netting an additional sum for the charitable enterprise.

evening receptions, unless enlivened by some special attraction, are less popular now than in the earlier and simpler society of the victorian era. one of their obvious advantages is that men can attend them, another is that they enable the hostess with limited space at her command to invite a number of guests who would overcrowd her rooms should she attempt to give a dance. the evening reception is a favorite form of entertainment for introducing a distinguished guest to a circle of friends. certain hostesses in new york still receive on one evening in the week, and succeed in gathering in their drawing-rooms an interesting company of literary and artistic folk—people who know how to talk and who enjoy doing so. a bride and groom may conveniently issue cards for one or more evening receptions when they are settled in their new home. they thus make themselves known to new friends and renew acquaintance with old ones.

a reception in the evening is gayer than an affair in the daytime, yet it need not necessarily be formal. for a large and handsome function, engraved invitations in the names of both husband and wife are issued, the “at home” form being ordinarily used. if it is in honor of distinguished guests, the phrase, “to meet mr. and mrs. —— ——” is added.

according to strict rule, the “at home” formula does not require an answer. it is always polite, however, to send regrets if one is unable to attend the entertainment. for one or more informal receptions, the joint visiting-card of husband and wife may be used, with the words “at home” and the date written in, the hours also (“9 to 11” in the city), if desired. the arrangements are the same as for any evening occasion. the central part of the drawing-rooms is cleared of furniture, and vases, small stands, or other articles liable to be knocked over are removed to some other part of the house. if the occasion is a large and stately one, potted plants or other floral decorations may adorn the rooms, while an orchestra composed of a few stringed instruments discourses sweet sounds behind a leafy trellis. a handsome supper is served in the dining-room during the greater part of the evening, since guests are supposed to come and go rather than to stay through a reception.

it is in perfectly good form, however, to receive in a much more simple fashion, in accordance with the customs of good society in continental europe. it is not necessary to provide either music, elaborate floral decorations, or an expensive supper. in italy, where evening receptions are a favorite form of entertainment, ladies of rank give their guests lemonade and biscuits, or sponge-cake and wine, or nothing at all! at an occasion of this sort husband and wife usually receive together, presenting all the company to the guest of honor, who stands beside them.

at a formal affair the guests are usually announced by a man-servant. he inquires their names and calls these out as they enter the drawing-room. one does not leave cards at an evening reception. all wear evening dress, as described in chapter vii. ladies seldom wear hats, however, as they occasionally do at a public reception.

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