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A Colored Man Round the World

I AM GOING TO PARIS.
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i am now all cap a pie for paris. ho! for boston, is nothing to ah! paris. i have been this morning to get my last view of the great palace of the world’s fair. i have since been to greenwich to eat white bait, and i am now hurrying on to the station. whoever wishes to see a good deal of the country, and a broken down route, had better take what is called the brighton route. if you leave london at 6 o’clock in the evening, you will stop at 8 o’clock at new haven, a place with a name on the map, but in fact no place at all, save the destination of the train of this route. there you will, in all probability, have to wait about an old building an hour or two for the arrival of a boat to take you across the channel. next morning, if you are lucky, you arrive at 8 o’clock at a little old french town called dieppe, just in time to be too late to take the morning train for paris. it is said that these little old half dead towns live off these tricks. i got a pretty breakfast a la carte; i say pretty, because i had boiled eggs, red wine and white, radishes, lettuce, and three boquets on my breakfast table. having been disappointed in taking the morning’s train for paris, i vented my wrath on both bottles of wine, thereby getting an equilibrium between disappointment and contentment. this done i went down to a little old shed which they called the custom house, to get my trunks which they had been searching. i then took a ride in the country to see the ruins of an ancient castle, captured by the first reigning king of the present great bourbon family, henry quatre, king of navarre. this was the first ruined castle i had ever seen, and it interested me so much that in spite of the boat last night with no berths, sea sickness, custom-house troubles, disappointment in getting to paris that day instead of 11 o’clock at night, i was in quite a good humor, and in fact, considered myself well paid for the ride, though in an old chaise and two poor horses.

at the ruins of this enormous pile of brick and mortar, was an old, broken down french officer. his companion was a lonely raven. we could go in and out of no part of this dilapidated mass of downfallen power, without meeting the raven. he seemed to be a lonely spirit. i caught at him once when he came within two feet of me; he jumped about a foot further off and stopped right still, and turned his head so that one eye was up and the other down, and kept looking up at me as long as i looked at him, as if he would fain say laissi moi (let me be). the cool treatment of the raven about these old ruins lowered my spirits. i gave the old soldier a franc for his trouble and information, and got in my old turn-out, and turned around to say adieu to the old soldier when i found him too much engaged paying jocko with crumbs, his portion of the bonus, for services rendered.

at 4 o’clock i found myself well seated in a french car, for the first time, direct for paris. here we go in a tunnel, and it is dark as ebony; here we come out; away go the cattle as if indians were after them.

it would be impossible to conjecture that french farmers were lazy, for this is the sabbath and down in the meadows i see farmers reaping. i can see towns in such quick succession, it would be useless to attempt to describe them. it is now 11 o’clock, and i am at my destination and being searched. nothing found and i am pronounced an honest man. but my honesty, if there be any, is like falstaff’s, hid. i have two hundred cigars in my over and under coat, and they are, indeed, contraband and was one of the greatest objects of search; but, reader, if you pronounce this french stupidity you deceive yourself. it was french politeness that allowed me to pass unnoticed by this scrutinizing assemblage of savans. if a man move among these lynx-eyed prefectures as a gentleman ought to, he is, once out of three times, likely to pass the barrier of their polite inclinations, whilst at the same time it would give them great satisfaction to believe that it would pay to examine you, were there a justifiable excuse for such rudeness, overbalancing the politeness which is characteristic of their whole national dignity. the french are proud of their national characteristics, and least of all nations inclined to trample them under foot.

it is now eleven o’clock, as i have before said, and i am in paris, trying to get across the boulevard des italian. what i mean by trying is, picking my chance. i am no dancing master, and in this crowded street might not do the dodging right the first time.

i am now across and ringing the bell at 179 rue richelieu. this is the hotel des prince (hotel of the princes). mr. privat is the proprietor. in this hotel all have gone to bed except a beautiful little woman at the concierge. she was sewing whilst stillness reigned around her, like a deep, dark forest, just before a storm. she received me with a smile. i, not knowing that this was her usual behavior to all patronage of this or any other house in paris, took for granted i had made an extra impression right off. she took me to an apartment which she said was merely temporary. to-morrow, she said, i could get another to my taste. i gazed around at all the different doors and comforts with numerous conveniencies of neatness, and said to her, “miss, this, in my opinion, is good enough for the oldest inhabitant.” she smiled and went away and brought me a bottle of water with a piece of ice inside just the shape of the bottle. “how did you put that piece of ice inside without breaking the bottle?” said i. “it was water, sir, and it froze inside,” said she, “will you have something to eat?” i said i would like a small bit of chicken and red wine; she rang the bell and an english and french waiter was summoned; she went away and left me pretty certain that i was in paris.

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