i learn the time when my sentence will terminate

after i had been incarcerated for a few years i found out that it was usual in the case of a life convict who has earned good marks to have her sentence brought up for consideration after she has served fifteen years. a life sentence usually means twenty years, and three months is taken off each year as a reward for good conduct. in february, 1903, i was definitely informed that my case would follow the ordinary course. i have been accused of obtaining my release by “trickery,” but these facts speak for themselves.

the impression has also been given by the press that great leniency was shown in[212] my case, and that through the intervention of friends the home office released me before the expiration of my sentence. no exceptional leniency whatever was shown in my case. it depends upon the prisoner herself whether she is released at an earlier period or serves the full term of her sentence. by an unbroken record of good conduct i reduced my life sentence, which is twenty years, to fifteen years; this expired on the 25th of july, 1904.

the dawn of liberty

as a giant refreshed by sleep, the prison awakens to life, and the voices of officers, the clang of doors, the ringing of bells echo throughout the halls. what does it portend? is it the arrival of some distinguished visitor from the home office? then i hear the sound of approaching footsteps, as they come nearer and nearer and then stop at my cell door. the governor ushers in three gentlemen—one tall and[213] dark and handsome, but with a stern face; another short, with a white beard and blue eyes which looked at me somewhat coldly; of the third i have no distinct recollection. the tall gentleman conversed pleasantly for several minutes about my work and myself, then passed out on his tour of inspection. i did not know at the time who these visitors were, but learned later that the gentleman who spoke to me was the secretary of state, sir matthew white-ridley; one of his companions was sir kenelm digby, and the other sir evelyn ruggles-brise, the chairman of the prison committee, who takes a really humane interest in the welfare of the convicts.

one morning, a week later, i was summoned to appear before the governor. it is an ordeal to be dreaded by any one who has broken the rules, but i knew i had not, and therefore concluded that i was wanted in connection with my work. when i entered the office he looked up with a kindly smile, which was also reflected in the face[214] of the chief matron. my attention was arrested. i stood silently waiting for him to speak. after searching among some papers on the table, he picked up one and read something to the following effect: “the prisoner, p 29, florence e. maybrick, is to be informed that the secretary of state has decided to grant her discharge from prison when she has completed fifteen years of her sentence, conditional upon her conduct.”

for a moment i failed to grasp the full meaning of these words, but when i did—how shall i describe the mingled feelings of joy and thankfulness, of relief and hope, with which i was overwhelmed! i returned to my cell dazed by the unexpected message for which for so many long, weary years i had hoped and prayed.

how anxiously i waited for those last few months to pass!

the release

it was christmas eve of 1903. i had helped to decorate the chapel with evergreens, which is the only way in which the greatest festival of the church’s year is kept in prison. there is no rejoicing allowed prisoners; no festival meal of roast beef and plum pudding, only the usual prison diet; and the sad memories of happier days are emphasized by our bare cells with their maximum of cleanliness and minimum of comfort. but to me it was the last christmas in that “house of sorrow,” and my heart felt the dawning of a brighter day. only four weeks more and i would have passed out of its grim gates forever! how i counted those days, and yet how i shrank from going once more into the world that had been so cruel, so hostile, so unmerciful, in spite of the fact that there was no proof that i was the guilty woman they assumed me to be! but kind friends[216] and loving hearts were waiting to greet me, to give me refuge and comfort.

on saturday, the 23d of january, my mother visited me at aylesbury prison for the last time. how many weary and sad hours we had passed in that visiting-room! our hearts were too full for much conversation, and it was with broken voices that we discussed the arrangements made for my departure on the following monday.

the last sunday i spent in prison i felt like one in a dream. i could not realize that to-morrow, the glad to-morrow, would bring with it freedom and life. in the evening i was sent for to say “good-by” to the governor. besides the chief matron and the one who was to be my escort to truro, no one was aware of the day or hour of my departure from aylesbury. not a word had been said to the other prisoners. i should like to have said farewell to them, also to the officers whom i had known for fourteen years (for several had come with us from woking prison);[217] but i thought it best to pass into my new life as quietly as possible. at my earnest request the home office consented to allow my place of destination to be kept a secret. i felt that i should derive more benefit from the change of my new environment and association with others, if my identity and place of retreat were not known to the public.

copyright by the london stereoscopic co.

right hon. a. akers douglas, m.p.,

british home secretary at time of mrs. maybrick’s release.

on monday, the 25th of january, i was awakened early, and after laying aside, for the last time, the garments of shame and disgrace, i was clothed once more in those that represent civilization and respectability. i descended to the court below, and, accompanied by the chief matron and my escort, passed silently through the great gates and out of the prison. at half-past six a cab drove quietly up, and the matron and i silently stepped in and were driven away to the aylesbury station. on our arrival in london we proceeded at once to paddington station. the noise and the crowds of people everywhere bewildered me.

in retreat at truro

after an uneventful journey we arrived at truro at six p.m., and drove at once to the home of the community of the epiphany, where i stayed during the remainder of my term of six months. i am told that some comment has been made on the fact that the home was a religious retreat, and that i ought to have been sent to a secular one instead. i went there entirely of my own desire. on our arrival there i bade a last farewell to my kind companion—one of the sweetest women it has been my privilege to meet. the mother superior, who had visited me three months previously at aylesbury prison, received me tenderly, and at once conducted me to my room. how pure and chaste everything looked after the cold, bare walls of my prison cell! how the restful quiet soothed my jarred and weakened nerves, and, above all, what comforting balm the dear mother superior[219] and the sweet sisters poured into the wounds of my riven soul!

i look back upon the six months spent within those sacred walls as the most peaceful and the happiest—in the true sense—of my life. the life there is so calm, so holy, and yet so cheerful, that one becomes infected, so that the sad thoughts flee away, the drooping hands are once more uplifted, and the heart strengthened to perform the work that a loving god may have ordained.

i passed several hours of each day working in the sewing-room with the sisters. during my leisure time i read much, and when the weather was fine delighted in taking long walks within the lovely grounds that surround the home. i did not go out in the country, nor attend the services on sunday at the cathedral.

i left truro on the 20th of july a free woman—with a ticket-of-leave, it is true, but as i am exempt from police supervision[220] even in england, i have no need to consider it in america or elsewhere.

by the courtesy of the american ambassador, the hon. joseph h. choate, i was provided with an escort to accompany me and my companion on our journey from truro to rouen, france.

the hon. john hay, secretary of state, washington; the hon. joseph h. choate, mr. henry white, chargé d’affaires, and mr. carter, secretary of embassy, at london, have always been most earnest in my cause. i deeply appreciate their untiring efforts in my behalf.

i come to america

after staying with my mother for three weeks, on the advice of my counselors, messrs. hayden & yarrell, of washington, district of columbia, i decided to return to america with mr. samuel v. hayden and his charming wife. i longed to be once more with my own people, and it was[221] only physical weakness and nervous prostration that prevented me from doing so immediately upon my release. i met these good friends at antwerp, belgium, and sailed from there on the red star line steamship vaderland for new york. my name was entered on the passenger list as rose ingraham, that i might secure more quiet and privacy; but when we were a few days out the fact of my identity became known, and with few exceptions the greatest courtesy, consideration, and delicacy were shown in the demeanor of the passengers toward me. if any of these should read these lines i would herewith express to them my grateful thanks and appreciation; while toward the captain and officers of the vaderland i feel especially indebted for their unwearied courtesy and consideration.

when i first caught sight of the statue of liberty, i, perhaps more than any one on board, realized the full meaning of what it typifies, and i felt my heart stirred to[222] its depths at the memory of what all my countrymen and countrywomen had done for me during the dark days of my past, to prove that they still carried me in their hearts, though the great ocean rolled between, and that i had not been robbed of the high privilege of being an american citizen.

we arrived at new york on the 23d of august. it was a “red-letter” day. once more, after many years of suffering and when i had long despaired of ever seeing the beloved faces of my friends again, my feet once again pressed the sacred soil of my native land.

my lost years

a time will come when the world will acknowledge that the verdict which was passed upon me is absolutely untenable. but what then? who shall give back the years i have spent within prison walls; the[223] friends by whom i am forgotten; the children to whom i am dead;[4] the sunshine; the winds of heaven; my woman’s life, and all i have lost by this terrible injustice?[224] time may heal the deepest wounds when the balm of love and sympathy is poured into them. it is well; for if mental wounds proved as fatal as those of the body, the prison death-roll would indeed be a long one.