the writing of this book has been to me no joyful task, as its making has been at the expense of much-needed rest and peace of mind. in returning to my dear native land after a long imprisonment, i cherished the hope that i might as quietly as possible be permitted to take up the threads of outward existence so cruelly broken, little dreaming that trials hardly less grievous than those left behind awaited me; for no sooner had i touched these hospitable shores, when i was met by the fear-inspiring cry, “you must write a book—you must give the world an account of your sufferings”—as if one could never suffer enough. my well-meaning friends could hardly have known what they were asking in forcing upon me a mental return to the[10] dread past. solitary confinement in woking prison (as the reader may learn from these pages) was not such an elysium that one should voluntarily desire to hark back to it, nor is penal servitude in aylesbury an arcadian dream. while within their grim walls i did my best to exclude from thought the world without; and now that i am once again in the world (though scarcely of it), my one desire to shut out all the abhorrent things which so-called “prison life” stands for has thus far not only failed of realization, but, under conditions even more trying than the repressive prison régime (because of the free and happy life all about, which it seemed to poor me that i had some right to share), i have been compelled by force of circumstance to return to my cast-off prison shell, and live all the old heart-and-brain-crushing life over again. however, my second “trial and imprisonment,” like the first, is at last[11] drawing to a close; and i devoutly trust that i shall be now permitted to enter upon a long-coveted rest, and partake as i may of those tempered joys which my countrymen by their beautiful sympathy have so chivalrously endeavored to make possible for me.

theoretically my imprisonment terminated on english soil, but so relentlessly have the fates pursued me that i have been in nowise free quite up to the present moment. in rouen, france, where i sojourned at my mother’s home for three weeks, i was as much in durance to my genial enemy, the ubiquitous reporter, as when the english government held me in its inexorable grasp. our cottage was completely invested by him, and all approaches and exits held with a persistency which, under other circumstances, might well have extorted my admiration.

then came the ever-to-be-remembered[12] sea voyage. i am a good sailor, and so the physical discomforts that beset so many were agreeably minimized; but i could not throw off the feeling that i was not yet free—the limits of the ship were still all too suggestive of the narrow exercise grounds of aylesbury prison; and, while the eye could roam without hindrance, there came upon me again and again an irresistible desire, which the rolling billows strenuously gainsaid, to make a dash for liberty.

thereupon followed a couple of days at the holland house, new york, with the same persistent reporter never absent. after this experience, i was taken by the kindest of friends to where nature is at her loveliest and human hearts beat in unison with their uplifting surroundings. beautiful cragsmoor, with its wide reaches of inspiring scenery, most appropriately the summer home of an artistic colony, is not too easy of access to mar a desire for[13] seclusion, and a greater antithesis to prison walls than is afforded by this aerie can hardly be imagined.

here all things that on lower planes so cruelly vex the spirit seem far away and beneath. if only no publishers—however benevolent—had entered this eden, what a paradise it could have been to me! however, in spite of these dread taskmasters, my soul drank deeply of the elixir so bountifully held to my lips; and when in the golden autumn all the noble woods about robed themselves in such glory as may be seen nowhere outside my beloved native land—and perchance nowhere here more ravishingly than in these hudson valley uplands—the rapture of my heart, so long starved within the narrowest and cruelest of confines, turned adoringly to him who has made this world so beautiful for his children’s eyes.

i need hardly be at pains to say to my[14] readers, that lessons in literary composition form no part of the disciplinary curriculum of aylesbury; nay, the art of writing is distinctly discouraged there, as interfering with the prescribed parliamentary régime. accordingly, when i set out to tell my pitiful little story, i was told to look at myself objectively; then to pry into myself subjectively; then to regard both in their relation to the outside world—to describe how this, that, or the other affected me; in short, as one of them, more deep in science than others, expressed it, “we want as much as possible of the psychology of your prison life.”

i surreptitiously looked up that awe-inspiring word in a dictionary, and found that it refers to the soul, and that it was my soul they wanted me to lay bare. i vehemently protested that that belonged to my god, and i had no right to expose it for daws to peck at. but the publishers, with the aid[15] of my friends, persuaded me that the public would give me their tenderest regard, and that possibly the humanities might be furthered a bit if the story of a woman—whatever might be her failings in other directions—wholly guiltless of the terrible charge of wilful murder, and for which in her innocence she was made to suffer so cruelly, be given in fullest heart detail to a sympathetic world. so i have done what i trust is best for all—spared myself as little as possible, lest the picture fail from suppression—and my dearest heart-hope is that somewhat of good may come of it, especially in behalf of those whom a dire fate shall compel to follow in my steps, with bruised spirits and bleeding feet.

sketch of my ancestry

i was born at mobile, ala., september 3, 1862. in searching for some account of my genealogy, i found a published letter of[16] gail hamilton’s, who was ever one of my most eloquent and steadfast champions, and to whom i owe a debt of gratitude i can never adequately express. from this it appears that i am the great-great-granddaughter of rev. benjamin thurston, a graduate of harvard college, who settled at north hampton, n. h., and of his wife, sarah phillips, who was the sister of john phillips, who founded phillips’ academy in exeter, endowed a professorship in dartmouth, and contributed funds to princeton; and who was the aunt of samuel phillips, who founded phillips’s academy at andover.

the mother of sarah phillips was elizabeth green, and from her the name of elizabeth has come down in regular descent to myself.

elizabeth, daughter of benjamin thurston and sarah phillips, married james milk ingraham. joseph h. ingraham, of[17] this family, gave to portland, me., for its improvement, property now amounting in value to millions—beautiful state street, the market, the property of the high school, and much more. one of the ingrahams was the wife of philander chase, the first bishop of illinois, uncle of salmon p. chase, who was secretary of the treasury under lincoln and chief justice of the supreme court of the united states. of the ingraham family was that commodore ingraham who won laurels for his country and himself by rescuing martin koszata from the clutch of austria. connected with the ingrahams was that edward preble, born at falmouth neck, whose father served under wolfe and was wounded at quebec; also that commander preble whose achievement before tripoli was rewarded with a gold medal and the thanks of congress. rev. john phillips and thurston ingraham, author[18] of “why we believe the bible,” both rectors in the protestant episcopal church, were sons of james milk ingraham and elizabeth thurston ingraham. john ingraham, son of the preceding, is rector of grace church, st. louis, mo. his sister, elizabeth thurston ingraham, married darius blake holbrook, who was born in dorchester, mass. his mother was a ridgeway. her sister married a quincy, and was aunt to john quincy adams. mr. holbrook was an originator of the land grant for the illinois central railroad and its first president. he owned cairo, at the mouth of the ohio, and was associated with cyrus field in laying the first atlantic cable. caroline elizabeth was the only child of darius blake holbrook and elizabeth thurston holbrook. she married william g. chandler, of the banking house of st. john powers & co., mobile, ala. william g. chandler’s father[19] was daniel chandler, a lawyer of high standing in georgia; his mother was sarah campbell, a sister of john a. campbell, at one time assistant secretary of state for the confederacy, and previously judge of the supreme court of the united states. judge l. q. c. lamar, long a united states senator, and afterward a justice of the supreme court, was near of kin.

to william g. chandler and caroline elizabeth holbrook chandler two children were born—holbrook st. john and florence elizabeth. their father died in 1863, and their mother, on account of the war, took the children abroad to be educated. the son died while pursuing his medical studies.

as will be seen from the above summary of gail hamilton’s statement, i am descended, on both my paternal and my maternal side for generations, from good[20] american stock. i was educated partly in europe and partly in america, under the instruction of masters and governesses. i was too delicate for college life. i lived partly with my maternal grandmother, elizabeth holbrook, of new york, and partly with my mother, the baroness von roques, whose home was abroad. when not with them i was visiting or traveling with friends. my life was much the same as that of any other girl who enjoyed the pleasures of youth with a happy heart. i was very fond of tracing intricate designs and copying the old-time churches and cathedrals. my special pastime, however, was riding, and this i could indulge in to my heart’s content when residing with my stepfather, baron adolph von roques, who, now retired, was at that time a cavalry officer in the eighth cuirassier regiment of the german army and stationed at cologne.

at the age of eighteen i married james maybrick, on the 27th of july, 1881, at st. james church, piccadilly, london, and returned to america, where we made our home at norfolk, va. for business reasons we settled in a suburb of liverpool called aigworth. a son was born to us on the 24th of march, 1882, and a daughter on june 20, 1886.

florence elizabeth maybrick.