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Her Infinite Variety

Chapter 4
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while miss greene sat chatting with the lieutenant-governor, who gladly neglected the duties of his high office, vernon went out into the rotunda, lighted a cigarette, glanced over the pamphlets, and tried to arrange the heads of his speech in his mind.

at the thought of the speech, vernon grew cold and limp with nervousness. his hands were clammy, his knees trembled, his mouth became dry and parched, and the cigarette he had lighted imparted all at once an evil taste. yet he smoked on, and as he wandered around the rotunda, men from both houses, passing to and fro, greeted him, but they seemed to him to be strange new creatures flitting by in a dream. if he was conscious of them at all it was only as of envied beings, all on a common happy plane, fortunate ones who did not have to make a speech within the hour. he went over to the state library, thinking that its quiet would soothe, but when he stood among the tall stacks of books he suddenly remembered that he must not smoke in those precincts; and so he turned out into the rotunda again, for he must smoke. he walked round and round the rotunda, pausing at times to lean over the brass railing and look far down to the main floor where the red light glowed at the cigar stand; he sauntered back into the dim and undisturbed corridors, his mind racing over all the things he might say.

once or twice he glanced into the pamphlets miss greene had given him, but he could not fix his mind on them; their types danced meaninglessly before his eyes. he was angry with himself for this nervousness. why must it assail him now, just when he wished to be at his best? he had spoken before, a hundred times; he knew his audience, and he had the proper contempt for his colleagues. he had never, to be sure, made a set speech in that presence; seldom did any one do that; the speeches were usually short and impromptu, and there was no time for anticipation to generate nervous dread. and yet his mind seemed to be extraordinarily clear just then; it seemed to be able to comprehend all realms of thought at once.

but it was not so much the speech he thought of, as the effect of the speech; already he could see the newspapers and the big headlines they would display on their first pages the next morning; he could see his mother reading them at breakfast, and then he could see amelia reading them. how her dark eyes would widen, her cheeks flush pink! she would raise her hand and put back her hair with that pretty mannerism of hers; then impulsively resting her arms on the table before her, she would eagerly read the long columns through, while her mother reminded her that her breakfast was getting cold. how proud she would be of him! she would never chide him again; she would see that at last he had found himself.

the eltons, too, would read, and his absence from their dinner would react on them impressively. and maria greene—but a confusion arose—maria greene! he had not thought of amelia all the morning until that very instant; amelia’s letter lay still unopened on his desk back there in the senate chamber. maria greene! she would hear, she would color as she looked at him, and her eyes would glow; he could feel the warm pressure of the hand she would give him in congratulation.

and it was this handsome young woman’s presence in the chamber that gave rise to all this nervousness. he was sure that he would not have been nervous if amelia were to be there. she had never heard him speak in public, though he had often pressed her to do so; somehow the places where he spoke were never those to which it would be proper for her to go. she would wish she had heard this speech, for in twenty-four hours it would be the one topic of conversation throughout the state; his picture would be in the newspapers—“the brilliant young chicago lawyer who electrified the illinois senate with his passionate oratory and passed the woman-suffrage measure.” it would be an event to mark the beginning of a new era—

but his imaginings were broken, his name was spoken; he turned and saw miss greene.

“come,” she said. “it’s up! hurry!”

she was excited and her cheeks glowed. his teeth began to chatter. he followed her quick steps in the direction of the chamber.

“but,” he stammered. “i—i didn’t know—i haven’t even arranged for recognition.”

“oh, i’ve fixed all that!” the woman said. “the lieutenant-governor promised me.” she was holding her rustling skirts and almost running.

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