long time without news from home—letter from elder b. f. grouard—released from my missionary labors in the islands—little opportunity to leave raivavai—natives build a schooner—fast and pray to learn whether i should sail on the vessel—the answer—sail for rapia—driven back to raivavai—make a new start—arrive at rapia—ridiculous idea of the people concerning a mormon elder—i am forbidden to go ashore, on pain of death—feeling is modified somewhat, and i go ashore—battle between the natives—an old man gives me food—attend a meeting, get permission to speak a few words and am ordered from the island—increase of sentiment of toleration—invited to supper at the governor's—strange custom of women waiting on men—rather than follow it, i submit to being called a heathen.

when i had spent seven months alone on the island of raivavai, without any news from the outer world or perhaps it would be more proper to say inner world—for this island and rapia are as near out of the world as any portion of it can be—i began to wonder when i could hear some tidings of the brethren on the other islands. i had not had an opportunity to leave raivavai in all the time that i had been there; nor did i have the slightest idea when it would be possible for me to return to the land of my nativity, for the natives told me that within their memory there had been seven years at a time when they had not so much as seen a sail, and it was not infrequent for from one to three years to pass without a vessel calling. therefore it will not be thought strange when i say that the time became very monotonous.

here is an extract from a letter received just before i did leave the island; it was from elder b. f. grouard, counselor to president pratt in the presidency of the mission, and bears date of papeete, tahiti, april 18, 1852:

"dear brother james:—i embrace the present opportunity of writing you a line, perhaps for the last time before leaving for california, though i hope we may be able to arrange matters so that you will be permitted to come here and make one of our party across. the governor is now absent, down at raiatea, consequently nothing can be done about your case until he returns. * * * *

"wednesday, 21st.—mr. kelly has sent for you on his own responsibility. you must be careful and not go on shore on the protectorate islands, but be sure and come, or rather, he has authorized me to send for you.

"i have the honor to be, your brother in christ, and fellow laborer in the gospel,

b. f. grouard."

from this it will be seen that i was released from further labors in that mission. i also was without any means in sight to get away from the land that had been so fruitful of troubles to me. it is true that the natives had a schooner of twenty or twenty-five tons burden in course of construction, but they were so uncertain and tardy in their movements that there was really no dependence to be placed in anything of the kind that they undertook. indeed, it was doubtful whether they would complete the vessel at all, though six or eight weeks was ample time in which to finish it. besides, they were liable to get into a quarrel that would cause delay for many months. again, so frail was the boat that it did not seem that it ever could be safe to go to sea. nearly every stave and brace was made from the bark of the buru tree, and twisted by hand. the anchor was a chunk of wood with old scraps of iron spiked on to it, and for a chain the same kind of material was used as for the stays and braces. the galley was only a square box of two and a half feet, filled with soil and tied down to the deck with a bark rope; and as to the helm, it had to be held by hand, taking two or three men to manage it, especially in rough weather. the compass was no better than a tin plate; in fact, it could not be of any service whatever—and the sails were almost rotten. but at last the boat was launched, and leaked so badly that it did not seem possible to make it of service; but the natives persevered and baled it out, and it was soaked up until they considered it safe.

this boat being built, it seemed to offer a possible means for me to see white men's land again. there was no one for me to advise with, the very men who had planned my destruction being the owners and masters of the craft. the voyage they anticipated taking was said by them to be seven hundred miles, to the island of rapia, and from thence a like distance to tahiti, in all fourteen hundred miles. the food and fresh water supply was also very uncertain. the water had to be carried in large gourds and cocoanuts. nor was this all that had to be considered. in those parts there are dense fogs and rainstorms, for days together, so that navigation is very hazardous where there is only the sun, moon, and stars to depend upon, and these obscured.

the reader will perceive the gravity of the situation that confronted the writer when he came to decide what to do. as the time drew near for the boat's departure, i retired to a lonely place in the woods, and there fasted and prayed for three days, fasting all the time and going to my retreat to pray as often in the three days as i thought proper. this was done in order to ascertain from the divine source whether or not i should take the risk of going on that vessel at that time. the answer came plain and distinct to my understanding, though not in words to the natural senses, yet to my entire satisfaction that all would be well if i went. from that moment i hungered and thirsted, but had not done so before in all the time that i had fasted.

accordingly, on september 22, 1852, i engaged passage on the raivavai schooner, bound for rapia. on the 23rd i went aboard, and we sailed out, but some of the rigging gave way, and we were bound to return for repairs. on the 24th we tried again, passing out of the harbor with a light breeze, at 5 o'clock a.m. there were sixty-two souls on board, all seasick. on the 26th and 27th there was a dead calm. at daylight on the 28th we found ourselves on the opposite side of the island and very near it, surrounded by hundreds of great whales. our navigators were so confused that they did not know their own island until they went ashore. again the rigging gave way, and we had to put into port to repair it and to replenish our food supply.

on october 4th we sailed once more, and with a strong and fair wind on the 9th we reached the island of rapia, which has a high and abrupt coast with a good harbor, but a very narrow passage thereto, in which we were hailed by a fisherman who inquired about the white man on board. when the crew told him it was a mormon elder, he hastened to the shore, ran to the village and told the people that a mormon elder was on the schooner. the people had never seen a mormon, but had heard the most ridiculous stories about us. they became excited, and frightened as well, for they had heard that mormons had cloven feet and shells on their backs, and were some kind of mongrel between man and beast. they also had been told that the mormons were so lustful that it was very difficult for the females to escape from them. this being the only information the people had about the latter-day saints, it was no wonder that the men armed themselves with muskets and fish spears, and came to the landing or lay in ambush, the females keeping at a respectful distance, while the more brave and fearless ventured to come on board, inspect the "animal," and forbid him to set his foot on shore on pain of death. strange as this statement of affairs may appear, it is nevertheless true.

at length a number of the people came on board and spied around as if to discover the peculiar features of a mormon elder, and they, with my friends, thought that possibly it was safe for me to go ashore; accordingly i went in the first canoe. as we neared the landing, six or seven men, some with muskets and some with fishing spears, rose up out of the brush and tall grass, and peeked and pried, as they afterwards said, to discern the cloven foot. as they could not discover the deformities which they had expected to find, they said, "why, he looks like any other white man or minister; we do not want to kill him." there were others who, however, acted very surly, and would not speak nor shake hands, but told my friends that i must leave their island or i would be killed. finally we were permitted to go up to the village, where the people all ran together to see the stranger. none dared invite him into their houses, so he took his seat out on a log, while they feasted. his friends joined with the feasting parties, thinking it would be better for him if they were sociable with the people and acquainted them with the supposed monster's customs and habits, as also with what he had been teaching the people.

two weeks before we landed, the inhabitants of this village had had a battle with the people of another village across the island, and some of both parties had been killed, while others were yet suffering from their wounds. this, i suppose, had something to do with the spirit of murder and bloodshed that hung so thickly around the place. when the people finished feasting, one old man brought me some food on a banana leaf, and then slipped away as if he did not wish anybody to see him. to me it seemed a case of root hog, or die, or at least it was to eat or starve, so the kind offer was thankfully received. i found the admonition of paul, wherein he said, eat what is set before you, and ask no questions, for conscience, sake appropriate in this case.

the bell was soon rung for meeting, and the people quickly came together. i met with them, and at the conclusion of their services asked the privilege of acquainting them with my business in their country; for myself and native friends were the first mormons who had ever been there, and to save the necessity of anyone else coming i felt it my bounden duty to offer them the gospel, as it has to be preached in every land and to every people. i succeeded in saying a few words, and received for my pains an order from the presiding priest to go out of the house and leave the island.

although many of the people seemed to sanction the course of the priest, there were a few who did not seem to favor it; but to save trouble i left the house. the people then began to discuss the order and to question its justice, as we had been mild and made no display of obstinacy. at last they concluded that the mormon was not quite so bad as he had been represented, and that he might come into the governor's and have supper at a table which the protestant ministers had furnished for their own accommodation, and where they had left some dishes and a chair; so i was comfortably seated at the table and the food brought on. quite a handsome young girl of about sixteen stood by the table, and as soon as a blessing was asked, she, with her fingers, tore the roasted chicken to pieces, stripped the flesh from off the bones, and held this to my mouth, saying, "there!"

i drew back a little, as that was so strange a custom that i did not appreciate it. the girl was quite dark complexioned, and some one observed, "she is so dark that he thinks she is dirty. let her get some soap and wash before him, and then see if he will eat." as the people seemed so strange in their actions, i thought there was some trick to be played, so i waited until she had washed her hands and, in obedience to orders, stepped up, saying that her hands were clean, "look, that is my color, and not dirt." still i felt dubious about taking the bait. then she was told to step back, and another young lady was called for. this one was quite fair, with rather light brown or auburn hair. they said "now he will eat, for he will think she is white," but i still refused the courtesy. then some one who was standing by said, "let him feed himself, like a heathen." at this the master of ceremonies said, "why do you not eat?" i tried to explain to them that it seemed to me to be wrong to require so much of the females—that they should prepare the food and then stand or sit by and put it into a man's mouth. "well," said he, "she was the first to sin, and she ought to wait on the man."

at this an old man who lay flat on his stomach with the bible before him, opened the book to where paul said that when he was in rome he did as the romans did. the old man had his hair bushed, and, apparently, the very brand of heathenism in his face. i would have thought as much of looking on a brush heap or in a muskrat house for intelligence as to have anticipated anything smart from him. he said, "my friend, do you believe in the bible?" i said, "yes, and it is good to do as it says." "then," said he, "you are a liar; for paul said that when he was in rome he did as the romans did, and now you are in rapia you will not do as the rapians do; for it is our way for the women to put the food into our mouths. that is the way we do in this land."

sure enough, i learned that this was true; for when the meal is ready it is brought into the room in baskets, and the male portion of the household get down on their hands and knees, while the females pick the bones from the fish, pork or poultry, as the case may be, and with their fingers put the flesh into their masters' mouths. to conclude with, the woman dips her hand into a dish of water, and wipes his mouth. then he moves away, and the wife and daughter take the scraps, or what may be left. it is considered as great a shame on that island for a man to put food into his mouth as it is in china for a mongolian to have his queue cut off. but to me it seemed so ridiculous that my stay there was too short to make it seem even human. i did not adopt the custom, preferring to be called a heathen by those who did practice it.