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Thieves' Wit

Chapter 23
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i have mentioned, i believe, that oscar nilson was a wig-maker, the best in new york. his little shop on a quiet side street north of madison square is quaint enough to be the setting of an old-fashioned play. the walls are lined with old cuts of historical personages and famous thespians as historical personages, all with particular attention to their hirsute features. on the counter stands a row of forms, each bearing some extraordinary kind of scalp. oscar deals in make-up as a side line and the air bears the intoxicating odour of grease paint and cold cream.

oscar's business is chiefly with the theatrical profession, but many an old beau and fading belle have found out that he knows more about restoring youth than the more fashionable beautifiers. oscar loves his business. his knowledge, historical, artistic, scientific, is immense—but all in terms of human hair. he can tell you offhand how napoleon wore his in 1803 or any other year of his career, and will make you an exact sketch of the toupee ordered by the duke of wellington when his fell out.

oscar himself, strangely enough, or perhaps naturally, has next to no hair of his own, merely a little mousy fringe above the ears. he has a jolly rubicund face and is held in high affection and esteem by his customers. he flatters me by taking a particular interest in my custom. i am the only one of his clients in the criminal line.

he led me into one of the little cubicles where the trying-on takes place, and stood off to observe me from between narrowed lids.

"what will it be now?" he said. "i was sorry to read of your accident."

"a mere trifle. what would you suggest? it must stand sunlight and shadow, and be something i can keep up for a while if necessary."

"let me think! your head and face offer a good starting-point for so many creations!"

"in other words the lord left me unfinished," i said, teasingly.

"not at all! i meant that in your case there were no awkward malformations to be overcome."

from which it will be seen that oscar is a diplomat.

"what would you say to a south american gentleman?" he asked. "new york is full of them in the summer."

i shook my head. "no time to bone up a spanish accent."

"an officer of a liner on shore leave."

"on shore they look like anybody else."

"well then, how about an armenian fruit peddler?"

"that would restrict my activities too much. i must be able to go anywhere."

"i see you have an idea of your own," he said. "what is it?"

"we've used several rough-neck disguises," i said. "suppose you fix me up as a swell this time. i have a mind to stop at a fashionable hotel."

"the very thing!" cried oscar. "a curled toupee, slightly silvered; a wash for the skin to give an interesting pallour; a little touching up about the eyes for an expression of world weariness; waxed moustache, monocle——"

"easy! the burning-glass would give me dead away. you have to be born to that."

"well you don't have to have the monocle," said oscar regretfully. "but it's very aristocratic. the costume must be exquisitely appointed—it will be expensive——"

"expense is no object in this case," i said.

he set to work and an hour later i left his shop a changed man. in the event of such a contingency i had already secured from mr. dunsany the name of his tailor, and i now left him a rush order for several suits. meanwhile i bought the best i could ready made. i went to the most fashionable outfitters and invested heavily. until they displayed their stock here, i had no idea that men might indulge such extravagant tastes. all this was to be sent to the hotel rotterdam where i engaged an expensive suite. i believed that it would be the last place in town where the gang would think of looking for me.

i wished to persuade them that i had been scared off. after having the cryptogram receipt photographed, i returned it in a plain envelope to jumbo's flat. by telephone i instructed keenan to discharge all the operatives, close the forty-second street office and advertise it for rent. this place had outlived its usefulness. jumbo, foxy, et al., had proved themselves more than a match for such operatives as could be hired.

this done, i went out to amityville to spend a day with sadie. i had promised to lay off for a little, and anyway i had to wait until my new clothes were done before being seen around town. after the mad excitement of the past few days, we spent a heavenly peaceful interlude under the oaks of my friend's big place.

while i was out there an interesting report from my sole remaining operative arrived.

report of j. m. #10

june 27th.

as soon as i heard that you and s. f. were all right i went to bed as you instructed. it seemed to me that i had scarcely fallen asleep when i was awakened by my landlady at my door to say that a man wanted to see me. it was no more than daybreak then. hard upon her knock jumbo entered the room. i had barely time to pull on my false hair and fix it. hereafter i shall have to sleep in it.

jumbo was in a state of no little excitement. he gave me his version of what had happened. lorina, having apparently just escaped from her room, had called him up about half an hour before. i am not sure but what jumbo came to me because she had suggested a suspicion of me. however, i think it more likely that he just wanted moral support. he was badly frightened. jumbo for all his bluff, is not a strong character. he is dependent both on foxy and on the woman, and now seems disposed to lean on me. if he was suspicious my sleepiness and bad-temper upon being awakened must have reassured him.

i dressed and we went right up to the lexington avenue house. being sunday, i had the day to myself. mrs. mansfield had gone out leaving word that we were to wait until she came in or telephoned. the maids believed that she had gone to consult the police. these two were full of highly-coloured accounts of the supposed robbery of the night before. the hulking black man, however, was silent and sullen. he knew. i wonder what you did to him. i don't think i ever saw a more repulsive human creature—or one more powerful.

foxy arrived shortly after we did. i am now admitted to terms of the closest equality by these two. the understanding is that each knows enough to the discredit of the others to ensure faithfulness all around. we all chafed at the enforced inaction, but dared not go against lorina's instructions. she is the boss. the other two half expected the police to descend on the house momentarily.

about ten o'clock mrs. mansfield returned in a taxi-cab. this taxi, by the way, is her property and the driver is one of the gang. the woman was handsomely dressed without disguise of any kind.

we had a conference in the sitting-room up-stairs. mrs. mansfield gave us some further details of the previous night. as soon as she succeeded in breaking out of her room after telephoning to jumbo and foxy she hastened up to s. f.'s house, also to your place, both of which addresses she knew. she said that she was disguised, so she must have some place outside where she changes her clothes. she found she was too late at both places. you had carried off s. f. in your automobile.

mrs. mansfield then went down to fortieth street. from the park opposite, she watched your office for four hours. you got inside too quick for her, she said, but when you came out she potted you. her eyes gleamed like a devil's as she said it. fancy how my heart went down.

she had then changed her clothes and come straight home. she couldn't tell how seriously she had wounded you. a general prayer went around the table that it would be your finish. she said we should hear presently.

she seems to have an unlimited number of men subject to her orders. while she waited for you at your office she had sent for several, and posted them near. they mixed in the crowd that surrounded you when you fell. one of them had been instructed to make away with your satchel. another was to follow the ambulance to the hospital. a third was to recover her gun after the excitement was over and return it to her.

the first of these, an evil-looking young blackguard, came in while we talked. he reported no success. the satchel was strapped to your wrist, he said, and when he started to unfasten it the crowd began to murmur. he said that you had been shot in the shoulder, and had been carried to bellevue. he gave it as his opinion that you were not as badly hurt as you made out. this cheered me greatly. bitter disappointment was expressed around the table.

later another of lorina's men reported by telephone that he had learned through an orderly in the hospital that you had suffered only a slight flesh wound, and would be able to leave the hospital next day. on hearing this she gave her orders to have every exit from the hospital watched. instructions were to shoot to kill. if it can be found out in advance what time you are going to leave, she means to be on hand herself.

as soon as i could get out without exciting suspicion, i sent you a warning by telephone.

j. m.

#11

june 28th.

to-day i had to go to my work as usual, so i didn't see any of the gang until night. in our present state of excitement and uncertainty we have abandoned the turtle bay as a meeting place. i found my partners in anything but a good humour.

in the first place they had learned through the friendly orderly that in spite of all their measures, you had been safely spirited out of the hospital in an ambulance. it was learned by way of the ambulance driver that you had been carried to dr. ——'s private hospital. it was then too late to do anything. by the time they got there, you had left, and the town had swallowed you up.

the entire strength of the gang, excepting me, has been devoted all day to picking up your trail, so far without any success. they have watched all your usual haunts, your flat, your restaurant, s. f.'s home and your office on fortieth street. foxy brought in word that the international bureau on forty-second street had been closed, and all the operatives discharged. he trailed keenan, the supposed manager to the office of the —— railway, where he was re-engaged for his old position.

jumbo came in with the information that the piece of evidence which they regarded as of such importance had been returned to him. i don't know what this was. lorina, examining it, said that it appeared to have the remains of paste on the corners, and that you had probably had it photographed.

foxy gave it as his opinion that you had been scared off. "we know there is no one backing him," said he. "he has no financial resources. he can't keep it up."

lorina would have none of it. her eyes become incandescent with hatred when your name is mentioned now. "don't you believe it," she snarled. "that man will never give up. i have seen his face and i know! he's a bull-dog. he will never rest until he has pulled us down, unless we stop him with a bullet."

jumbo became panicky. his suggestion was for the gang to scatter and lie low for the time-being.

lorina scorned him. she proceeded to point out to us all just where you stood. she appeared to know as well as you do. her insight is uncanny. you have no case, she said, except possibly against foxy. you are too conceited to be satisfied with one. you will not strike until you have a chance of landing the whole gang.

"but how about the kidnapping?" asked jumbo.

"the police would have been here before this if enderby wanted to proceed on that," she said. "why, he watched me walk away after i shot him; and never said a word. no, i tell you he hasn't got the evidence yet, and we're safe until he gets it. he's aiming to make a grand haul of the whole gang together, and get his name in the headlines."

the others were considerably impressed. they asked for instructions.

"we've got to go on just as we are," said lorina. "foxy must keep the room on forty-ninth street, jumbo the flat on one hundredth street, and i stay here. let everybody go about freely, and meet here as usual, that is, all except english. english mustn't come here again. enderby isn't on to him yet. enderby, if i have the right dope, will lie low for a few days and then thinking that we are lulled to security, will quietly start to work again. that's why we must keep our present hang-outs. he's got to come to one of them to pick us up, and then we'll have him."

this woman is a wonder in her way. fortunately, there is one fact that spoils all her reasoning—your humble servant.

as we broke up she said a significant thing. "lord! the conceit of the man, thinking he can break up the gang! why if he did land all of us it wouldn't make any difference. he hasn't got within a mile of the real boss!"

being excited she spoke more recklessly than usual. so it appears that our work perhaps is just beginning!

j. m.

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