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Mince Pie

DIARY OF A PUBLISHER'S OFFICE BOY
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jan. 7, 1600. thys daye ye bosse bade mee remaine in ye outer office to keepe callers from hinderyng hym in hys affaires. there came an olde bumme (ye same wch hath beene heare before) wth ye scrypte of a playe, dubbed roumio ande julia. hys name was shake a speare or somethynge lyke thatt. ye bosse bade mee reade ye maunuscripp myselfe, as hee was bussy. i dyd. ande of alle foulishnesse, thys playe dyd beare away ye prize. conceive ye absuerditye of laying ye sceane in italy, it ys welle knowne that awdiences will not abear nothyng that is not sett neare at home. butt woarse stille, thys fellowe presumes to kille offe boath heroe ande heroine in ye laste acte, wch is intolerabble toe ye publicke. suerley noe chaunce of success in thys. ye awthour dyd reappeare in ye aufternoone, and dyd seeke to borrowe a crowne from mee, but i sente hym packing. ye bosse hath heartilye given me styx forr admitting such vagabones to ye office. i tolde maister shake a speare that unlesse hee colde learne to wryte beste sellers such as master spenser's faerye quene (wch wee have put through six editions) there was suerly noe hope for hym. hee tooke thys advyse in goode parte, and wente. hys jerkin wolde have beene ye better for a patchinge.

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