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Pipefuls

VENISON PASTY
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the good old days are gone, we have been frequently and authoritatively assured; and yet, sitting in an agreeable public on william street where the bright eye of our friend harold phillips discerned venison pasty on the menu, and listening to a seafaring man describe a recent “blow” off hatteras during which he stood four hours up to his waist in the bilges, and watching our five jocund companions dismiss no less than twenty-one beakers[pg 229] of cider, we felt no envy whatever for the ancients of the mermaid tavern. after venison pasty, and feeling somewhat in the mood of robin hood and friar tuck, we set off with our friend endymion for a stroll through the wilderness. the first adventure of note that we encountered was the curb market on broad street, where we stood entranced at the merry antics of the brokers. this, however, is a spectacle that no layman can long contemplate and still deem himself sane. that sea of flickering fingers, the hubbub of hoarse cries, and the enigmatic gestures of youths framed in the open windows gave an impression of something fierce and perilous happening. endymion, still deeming himself in sherwood forest, insisted that this was the abode of the sheriff of nottingham. “stout deeds are toward!” he cried. “these villain wights have a damsel imprisoned in yonder keep!” with difficulty we restrained him from pressing to the rescue of the lady (for indeed we could see her, comely enough, appearing now and then at one of the windows; and anon disappearing, abashed at the wild throng). but gradually we realized that no such dire matter was being transacted, for the knights, despite occasional spasms of hot gesticulating fury, were mild and meant her no ill. one, after a sudden flux of business concerning (it seemed) 85 shares of arizona copper, fell suddenly placid, and was eating chocolate ice cream from a small paper plate. young gallants, wearing hats[pg 230] trimmed with variegated brightly coloured stuffs (the favours of their ladies, we doubted not), were conferring together, but without passion or rancour.

we have a compact with our friend endymion that as soon as either of us spends money for anything not strictly necessary he must straightway return to the office. after leaving the curb market, we found ourselves in a basement bookshop on broadway, and here endymion fell afoul of a copy of thomas hardy's “wessex poems,” illustrated by the author. piteously he tried to persuade us that it was a matter of professional advancement to him to have this book; moreover, he said, he had just won five dollars at faro (or some such hazard) so that he was not really spending money at all; but we countered all his sophisms with slogging rhetoric. he bought the book, and so had to return to the office in disgrace.

we fared further, having a mind to revisit the old eastern hotel, down by the south ferry, of whose cool and dusky bar-room we had pleasant memories in times gone by; but we found to our distress that this also, like many more of our familiar landmarks, is a prey to the house-wrecker, and is on its way to become an office building. on our way back up broadway it occurred to us to revisit what we have long considered one of the most impressive temples in our acquaintance, the lobby of the telephone and telegraph building, on dey street. here, passing by the enticing little terrace with brocaded chairs[pg 231] and soft lights where two gracious ladies sit to interview aspiring telephone débutantes, one stands in a dim golden glow, among great fluted pillars and bowls of softly burning radiance swung (like censers) by long chains. occasionally there is an airy flutter, a bell clangs, bronze doors slide apart, and an elevator appears, in charge of a chastely uniformed priestess. lights flash up over this dark little cave which stands invitingly open: up, they say, local 1-13. the door-sill of the cave shines with a row of golden beads (small lights, to guide the foot)—it is irresistible. there is an upward impulse about the whole place: the light blossoms upward from the hanging translucent shells: people step gently in, the doors close, they are not seen again. it is the temple of the great american religion, going up. the shining gold stars in the ceiling draw the eye aloft. the temptation is too great. we step into the little bronze crypt, say “thirteen” at a venture, and are borne softly and fluently up. then, of course, we have to come down again, past the wagons of spring onions on fulton street, and back to the office.

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