it had taken much less time than i'd thought — all the terror, thedespair, the shattering of my heart. the minutes were ticking by moreslowly than usual. jasper still hadn't come back when i returned toalice. i was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that shewould guess… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.
i would have thought i was far beyond the ability to be surprised, mythoughts tortured and unstable, but i was surprised when i saw alice bentover the desk, gripping the edge with two hands.
"alice?"she didn't react when i called her name, but her head was slowly rockingside to side, and i saw her face. her eyes were blank, dazed… my thoughtsflew to my mother. was i already too late?
i hurried to her side, reaching out automatically to touch her hand.
"alice!" jasper's voice whipped, and then he was right behind her, hishands curling over hers, loosening them from their grip on the table.
across the room, the door swung shut with a low click.
"what is it?" he demanded.
she turned her face away from me, into his chest. "bella," she said.
"i'm right here," i replied.
her head twisted around, her eyes locking on mine, their expression stillstrangely blank. i realized at once that she hadn't been speaking to me,she'd been answering jasper's question.
"what did you see?" i said — and there was no question in my flat,uncaring voice.
jasper looked at me sharply. i kept my expression vacant and waited. hiseyes were confused as they flickered swiftly between alice's face andmine, feeling the chaos… for i could guess what alice had seen now.
i felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around me. i welcomed it, using it tokeep my emotions disciplined, under control.
alice, too, recovered herself.
"nothing, really," she answered finally, her voice remarkably calm andconvincing. "just the same room as before."she finally looked at me, her expression smooth and withdrawn. "did youwant breakfast?""no, i'll eat at the airport." i was very calm, too. i went to thebathroom to shower. almost as if i were borrowing jasper's strange extrasense, i could feel alice's wild — though well-concealed — desperation tohave me out of the room, to be alone with jasper. so she could tell himthat they were doing something wrong, that they were going to fail…i got ready methodically, concentrating on each little task. i left myhair down, swirling around me, covering my face. the peaceful mood jaspercreated worked its way through me and helped me think clearly. helped meplan. i dug through my bag until i found my sock full of money. i emptiedit into my pocket.
i was anxious to get to the airport, and glad when we left by seven. isat alone this time in the back of the dark car. alice leaned against thedoor, her face toward jasper but, behind her sunglasses, shooting glancesin my direction every few seconds.
"alice?" i asked indifferently.
she was wary. "yes?""how does it work? the things that you see?" i stared out the sidewindow, and my voice sounded bored. "edward said it wasn't definite… thatthings change?" it was harder than i would have thought to say his name.
that must have been what alerted jasper, why a fresh wave of serenityfilled the car.
"yes, things change…" she murmured — hopefully, i thought. "some thingsare more certain than others… like the weather. people are harder. i onlysee the course they're on while they're on it. once they change theirminds — make a new decision, no matter how small — the whole futureshifts." i nodded thoughtfully. "so you couldn't see james in phoenix until hedecided to come here.""yes," she agreed, wary again.
and she hadn't seen me in the mirror room with james until i'd made thedecision to meet him there. i tried not to think about what else shemight have seen. i didn't want my panic to make jasper more suspicious.
they would be watching me twice as carefully now, anyway, after alice'svision. this was going to be impossible.
we got to the airport. luck was with me, or maybe it was just good odds.
edward's plane was landing in terminal four, the largest terminal, wheremost flights landed — so it wasn't surprising that his was. but it wasthe terminal i needed: the biggest, the most confusing. and there was adoor on level three that might be the only chance.
we parked on the fourth floor of the huge garage. i led the way, for oncemore knowledgeable about my surroundings than they were. we took theelevator down to level three, where the passengers unloaded. alice andjasper spent a long time looking at the departing flights board. i couldhear them discussing the pros and cons of new york, atlanta, chicago.
places i'd never seen. and would never see.
i waited for my opportunity, impatient, unable to stop my toe fromtapping. we sat in the long rows of chairs by the metal detectors, jasperand alice pretending to people-watch but really watching me. every inch ishifted in my seat was followed by a quick glance out of the corner oftheir eyes. it was hopeless. should i run? would they dare to stop mephysically in this public place? or would they simply follow?
i pulled the unmarked envelope out of my pocket and set it on top ofalice's black leather bag. she looked at me.
"my letter," i said. she nodded, tucking it under the top flap. he wouldfind it soon enough.
the minutes passed and edward's arrival grew closer. it was amazing howevery cell in my body seemed to know he was coming, to long for hiscoming. that made it very hard. i found myself trying to think of excusesto stay, to see him first and then make my escape. but i knew that wasimpossible if i was going to have any chance to get away.
several times alice offered to go get breakfast with me. later, i toldher, not yet.
i stared at the arrival board, watching as flight after flight arrived ontime. the flight from seattle crept closer to the top of the board.
and then, when i had only thirty minutes to make my escape, the numberschanged. his plane was ten minutes early. i had no more time.
"i think i'll eat now," i said quickly.
alice stood. "i'll come with you.""do you mind if jasper comes instead?" i asked. "i'm feeling a little…" ididn't finish the sentence. my eyes were wild enough to convey what ididn't say.
jasper stood up. alice's eyes were confused, but — i saw to my relief—not suspicious. she must be attributing the change in her vision to somemaneuver of the tracker's rather than a betrayal by me.
jasper walked silently beside me, his hand on the small of my back, as ifhe were guiding me. i pretended a lack of interest in the first fewairport cafes, my head scanning for what i really wanted. and there itwas, around the corner, out of alice's sharp sight: the level-threeladies' room.
"do you mind?" i asked jasper as we passed. "i'll just be a moment." "i'll be right here," he said.
as soon as the door shut behind me, i was running. i remembered the timei had gotten lost from this bathroom, because it had two exits.
outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators, and ifjasper stayed where he said he would, i'd never be in his line of sight.
i didn't look behind me as i ran. this was my only chance, and even if hesaw me, i had to keep going. people stared, but i ignored them. aroundthe corner the elevators were waiting, and i dashed forward, throwing myhand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down. i squeezedin beside the irritated passengers, and checked to make sure that thebutton for level one had been pushed. it was already lit, and the doorsclosed.
as soon as the door opened i was off again, to the sound of annoyedmurmurs behind me. i slowed myself as i passed the security guards by theluggage carousels, only to break into a run again as the exit doors cameinto view. i had no way of knowing if jasper was looking for me yet.
i would have only seconds if he was following my scent. i jumped out theautomatic doors, nearly smacking into the glass when they opened tooslowly.
along the crowded curb there wasn't a cab in sight.
i had no time. alice and jasper were either about to realize i was gone,or they already had. they would find me in a heartbeat.
a shuttle to the hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me.
"wait!" i called, running, waving at the driver.
"this is the shuttle to the hyatt," the driver said in confusion as heopened the doors.
"yes," i huffed, "that's where i'm going." i hurried up the steps.
he looked askance at my luggage-less state, but then shrugged, not caringenough to ask.
most of the seats were empty. i sat as far from the other travelers aspossible, and watched out the window as first the sidewalk, and then theairport, drifted away. i couldn't help imagining edward, where he wouldstand at the edge of the road when he found the end of my trail. icouldn't cry yet, i told myself. i still had a long way to go.
my luck held. in front of the hyatt, a tired-looking couple was gettingtheir last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab. i jumped out of theshuttle and ran to the cab, sliding into the seat behind the driver. thetired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me.
i told the surprised cabbie my mother's address. "i need to get there assoon as possible.""that's in scottsdale," he complained.
i threw four twenties over the seat.
"will that be enough?""sure, kid, no problem."i sat back against the seat, folding my arms across my lap. the familiarcity began to rush around me, but i didn't look out the windows. iexerted myself to maintain control. i was determined not to lose myselfat this point, now that my plan was successfully completed. there was nopoint in indulging in more terror, more anxiety. my path was set. i justhad to follow it now.
so, instead of panicking, i closed my eyes and spent the twenty minutes'
drive with edward.
i imagined that i had stayed at the airport to meet edward. i visualizedhow i would stand on my toes, the sooner to see his face. how quickly,how gracefully he would move through the crowds of people separating us.
and then i would run to close those last few feet between us — recklessas always — and i would be in his marble arms, finally safe.
i wondered where we would have gone. north somewhere, so he could beoutside in the day. or maybe somewhere very remote, so we could lay inthe sun together again. i imagined him by the shore, his skin sparklinglike the sea. it wouldn't matter how long we had to hide. to be trappedin a hotel room with him would be a kind of heaven. so many questions istill had for him. i could talk to him forever, never sleeping, neverleaving his side.
i could see his face so clearly now… almost hear his voice. and, despiteall the horror and hopelessness, i was fleetingly happy. so involved wasi in my escapist daydreams, i lost all track of the seconds racing by.
"hey, what was the number?"the cabbie's question punctured my fantasy, letting all the colors runout of my lovely delusions. fear, bleak and hard, was waiting to fill theempty space they left behind.
"fifty-eight twenty-one." my voice sounded strangled. the cabbie lookedat me, nervous that i was having an episode or something.
"here we are, then." he was anxious to get me out of his car, probablyhoping i wouldn't ask for my change.
"thank you," i whispered. there was no need to be afraid, i remindedmyself. the house was empty. i had to hurry; my mom was waiting for me,frightened, depending on me.
i ran to the door, reaching up automatically to grab the key under theeave. i unlocked the door. it was dark inside, empty, normal. i ran tothe phone, turning on the kitchen light on my way. there, on thewhiteboard, was a ten-digit number written in a small, neat hand. myfingers stumbled over the keypad, making mistakes. i had to hang up andstart again. i concentrated only on the buttons this time, carefullypressing each one in turn. i was successful. i held the phone to my earwith a shaking hand. it rang only once.
"hello, bella," that easy voice answered. "that was very quick. i'mimpressed.""is my mom all right?""she's perfectly fine. don't worry, bella, i have no quarrel with her.
unless you didn't come alone, of course." light, amused.
"i'm alone." i'd never been more alone in my entire life.
"very good. now, do you know the ballet studio just around the cornerfrom your home?""yes. i know how to get there.""well, then, i'll see you very soon."i hung up.
i ran from the room, through the door, out into the baking heat.
there was no time to look back at my house, and i didn't want to see itas it was now — empty, a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary. the lastperson to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy.
from the corner of my eye, i could almost see my mother standing in theshade of the big eucalyptus tree where i'd played as a child. or kneeling by the little plot of dirt around the mailbox, the cemetery of all theflowers she'd tried to grow. the memories were better than any reality iwould see today. but i raced away from them, toward the corner, leavingeverything behind me.
i felt so slow, like i was running through wet sand — i couldn't seem toget enough purchase from the concrete. i tripped several times, oncefalling, catching myself with my hands, scraping them on the sidewalk,and then lurching up to plunge forward again. but at last i made it tothe corner. just another street now; i ran, sweat pouring down my face,gasping. the sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off thewhite concrete and blinded me. i felt dangerously exposed. more fiercelythan i would have dreamed i was capable of, i wished for the green,protective forests of forks… of home.
when i rounded the last corner, onto cactus, i could see the studio,looking just as i remembered it. the parking lot in front was empty, thevertical blinds in all the windows drawn. i couldn't run anymore — icouldn't breathe; exertion and fear had gotten the best of me. i thoughtof my mother to keep my feet moving, one in front of the other.
as i got closer, i could see the sign inside the door. it was handwrittenon hot pink paper; it said the dance studio was closed for spring break.
i touched the handle, tugged on it cautiously. it was unlocked. i foughtto catch my breath, and opened the door.
the lobby was dark and empty, cool, the air conditioner thrumming. theplastic molded chairs were stacked along the walls, and the carpetsmelled like shampoo. the west dance floor was dark, i could see throughthe open viewing window. the east dance floor, the bigger room, was lit.
but the blinds were closed on the window.
terror seized me so strongly that i was literally trapped by it. icouldn't make my feet move forward.
and then my mother's voice called.
"bella? bella?" that same tone of hysterical panic. i sprinted to thedoor, to the sound of her voice.
"bella, you scared me! don't you ever do that to me again!" her voicecontinued as i ran into the long, high-ceilinged room.
i stared around me, trying to find where her voice was coming from. iheard her laugh, and i whirled to the sound.
there she was, on the tv screen, tousling my hair in relief. it wasthanksgiving, and i was twelve. we'd gone to see my grandmother incalifornia, the last year before she died. we went to the beach one day,and i'd leaned too far over the edge of the pier. she'd seen my feetflailing, trying to reclaim my balance. "bella? bella?" she'd called tome in fear.
and then the tv screen was blue.
i turned slowly. he was standing very still by the back exit, so still ihadn't noticed him at first. in his hand was a remote control. we staredat each other for a long moment, and then he smiled.
he walked toward me, quite close, and then passed me to put the remotedown next to the vcr. i turned carefully to watch him.
"sorry about that, bella, but isn't it better that your mother didn'treally have to be involved in all this?" his voice was courteous, kind.
and suddenly it hit me. my mother was safe. she was still in florida.
she'd never gotten my message. she'd never been terrified by the dark redeyes in the abnormally pale face before me. she was safe.
"yes," i answered, my voice saturated with relief.
"you don't sound angry that i tricked you." "i'm not." my sudden high made me brave. what did it matter now? it wouldsoon be over. charlie and mom would never be harmed, would never have tofear. i felt almost giddy. some analytical part of my mind warned me thati was dangerously close to snapping from the stress.
"how odd. you really mean it." his dark eyes assessed me with interest.
the irises were nearly black, just a hint of ruby around the edges.
thirsty. "i will give your strange coven this much, you humans can bequite interesting. i guess i can see the draw of observing you. it'samazing — some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest atall."he was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at mecuriously. there was no menace in his face or stance. he was so veryaverage-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. justthe white skin, the circled eyes i'd grown so used to. he wore a paleblue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.
"i suppose you're going to tell me that your boyfriend will avenge you?"he asked, hopefully it seemed to me.
"no, i don't think so. at least, i asked him not to.""and what was his reply to that?""i don't know." it was strangely easy to converse with this genteelhunter. "i left him a letter.""how romantic, a last letter. and do you think he will honor it?" hisvoice was just a little harder now, a hint of sarcasm marring his politetone.
"i hope so.""hmmm. well, our hopes differ then. you see, this was all just a littletoo easy, too quick. to be quite honest, i'm disappointed. i expected amuch greater challenge. and, after all, i only needed a little luck."i waited in silence.
"when victoria couldn't get to your father, i had her find out more aboutyou. there was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you downwhen i could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing. so,after i talked to victoria, i decided to come to phoenix to pay yourmother a visit. i'd heard you say you were going home. at first, i neverdreamed you meant it. but then i wondered. humans can be verypredictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. andwouldn't it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should bewhen you're hiding — the place that you said you'd be.
"but of course i wasn't sure, it was just a hunch. i usually get afeeling about the prey that i'm hunting, a sixth sense, if you will. ilistened to your message when i got to your mother's house, but of coursei couldn't be sure where you'd called from. it was very useful to haveyour number, but you could have been in antarctica for all i knew, andthe game wouldn't work unless you were close by.
"then your boyfriend got on a plane to phoenix. victoria was monitoringthem for me, naturally; in a game with this many players, i couldn't beworking alone. and so they told me what i'd hoped, that you were hereafter all. i was prepared; i'd already been through your charming homemovies. and then it was simply a matter of the bluff.
"very easy, you know, not really up to my standards. so, you see, i'mhoping you're wrong about your boyfriend. edward, isn't it?"i didn't answer. the bravado was wearing off. i sensed that he was comingto the end of his gloat. it wasn't meant for me anyway. there was noglory in beating me, a weak human.
"would you mind, very much, if i left a little letter of my own for your edward?"he took a step back and touched a palm-sized digital video camerabalanced carefully on top of the stereo. a small red light indicated thatit was already running. he adjusted it a few times, widened the frame. istared at him in horror.
"i'm sorry, but i just don't think he'll be able to resist hunting meafter he watches this. and i wouldn't want him to miss anything. it wasall for him, of course. you're simply a human, who unfortunately was inthe wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with thewrong crowd, i might add."he stepped toward me, smiling. "before we begin…"i felt a curl of nausea in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. this wassomething i had not anticipated.
"i would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. the answer was thereall along, and i was so afraid edward would see that and ruin my fun. ithappened once, oh, ages ago. the one and only time my prey escaped me.
"you see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim madethe choice that your edward was too weak to make. when the old one knew iwas after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked— i never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form withyou humans — and as soon as he freed her he made her safe. she didn'teven seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. she'd been stuck inthat black hole of a cell for so long. a hundred years earlier and shewould have been burned at the stake for her visions. in thenineteen-twenties it was the asylum and the shock treatments. when sheopened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she'd neverseen the sun before. the old vampire made her a strong new vampire, andthere was no reason for me to touch her then." he sighed. "i destroyedthe old one in vengeance.""alice," i breathed, astonished.
"yes, your little friend. i was surprised to see her in the clearing. soi guess her coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from thisexperience. i get you, but they get her. the one victim who escaped me,quite an honor, actually.
"and she did smell so delicious. i still regret that i never got totaste… she smelled even better than you do. sorry — i don't mean to beoffensive. you have a very nice smell. floral, somehow…"he took another step toward me, till he was just inches away. he lifted alock of my hair and sniffed at it delicately. then he gently patted thestrand back into place, and i felt his cool fingertips against my throat.
he reached up to stroke my cheek once quickly with his thumb, his facecurious. i wanted so badly to run, but i was frozen. i couldn't evenflinch away.
"no," he murmured to himself as he dropped his hand, "i don'tunderstand." he sighed. "well, i suppose we should get on with it. andthen i can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and mylittle message."i was definitely sick now. there was pain coming, i could see it in hiseyes. it wouldn't be enough for him to win, to feed and go. there wouldbe no quick end like i'd been counting on. my knees began to shake, and iwas afraid i was going to fall.
he stepped back, and began to circle, casually, as if he were trying toget a better view of a statue in a museum. his face was still open andfriendly as he decided where to start.
then he slumped forward, into a crouch i recognized, and his pleasantsmile slowly widened, grew, till it wasn't a smile at all but acontortion of teeth, exposed and glistening.
i couldn't help myself— i tried to run. as useless as i knew it would be,as weak as my knees already were, panic took over and i bolted for theemergency door.
he was in front of me in a flash. i didn't see if he used his hand or hisfoot, it was too fast. a crushing blow struck my chest — i felt myselfflying backward, and then heard the crunch as my head bashed into themirrors. the glass buckled, some of the pieces shattering and splinteringon the floor beside me.
i was too stunned to feel the pain. i couldn't breathe yet.
he walked toward me slowly.
"that's a very nice effect," he said, examining the mess of glass, hisvoice friendly again. "i thought this room would be visually dramatic formy little film. that's why i picked this place to meet you. it's perfect,isn't it?"i ignored him, scrambling on my hands and knees, crawling toward theother door.
he was over me at once, his foot stepping down hard on my leg. i heardthe sickening snap before i felt it. but then i did feel it, and icouldn't hold back my scream of agony. i twisted up to reach for my leg,and he was standing over me, smiling.
"would you like to rethink your last request?" he asked pleasantly. histoe nudged my broken leg and i heard a piercing scream. with a shock, irealized it was mine.
"wouldn't you rather have edward try to find me?" he prompted.
"no!" i croaked. "no, edward, don't—" and then something smashed into myface, throwing me back into the broken mirrors.
over the pain of my leg, i felt the sharp rip across my scalp where theglass cut into it. and then the warm wetness began to spread through myhair with alarming speed. i could feel it soaking the shoulder of myshirt, hear it dripping on the wood below. the smell of it twisted mystomach.
through the nausea and dizziness i saw something that gave me a sudden,final shred of hope. his eyes, merely intent before, now burned with anuncontrollable need. the blood — spreading crimson across my white shirt,pooling rapidly on the floor — was driving him mad with thirst. no matterhis original intentions, he couldn't draw this out much longer.
let it be quick now, was all i could hope as the flow of blood from myhead sucked my consciousness away with it. my eyes were closing.
i heard, as if from underwater, the final growl of the hunter. i couldsee, through the long tunnels my eyes had become, his dark shape comingtoward me. with my last effort, my hand instinctively raised to protectmy face. my eyes closed, and i drifted.
第二十二章 躲猫猫（。。。好吧我还是翻成捉迷藏吧。。。）
做到这一点所花的时间比我认为的还要短——所有的恐惧和绝望，还有我破碎的心。时间一分一秒地过去，流淌得比平时还蛮。当我回到爱丽丝那里时，贾斯帕还没回来。我很怕和她待在同一个房间里，生怕她会猜到……也害怕着，需要因为同样的理由而隐瞒她。
我本以为自己已经没有余力去感到惊讶里，因为我的心一直忐忑不安，已经饱受折磨。但当我看到爱丽丝伏在桌子上，两手紧紧地抓着桌子边缘时，我依然吃了一惊。
“爱丽丝？”
我喊她的名字，她没有反应，但她的头慢慢地转了过来，我看见了她的脸。她的脸色很苍白，脸上一片迷茫……我立刻想到了我母亲。已经太迟了吗？
我飞快地冲到她身旁，本能地伸出手想拉着她的手。
“爱丽丝！”贾斯帕的声音听起来像是被鞭子抽了一样。然后，他立刻出现在了她身后，他的手交缠在她的手上，把它们从桌子上掰开。房间的另一头，房门啪地一声轻轻关上了。（梅尔的功力太强大了。。。）
“怎么回事？”他询问道。
她把脸埋到他胸口，不再看我。“贝拉。”她说道。
“我在这里。”我答道。
她的头转了过来，她的目光锁住了我的眼睛，眼里依然是一副诡异的空白的神情。我立刻意识到，她不是在叫我，她是在回答贾斯帕的问题。
“你看见了什么？”我说道——但我波澜不兴，漠不关心的声音里没有半点疑问。
贾斯帕狠狠地看着我。我让自己面无表情，等待着。他的目光轮流扫过在爱丽丝和我的脸，眼里写满了困惑……我猜到了爱丽丝看到的东西。
我感到一阵宁静笼罩着我。我对这宁静很是欢迎，利用它来控制自己的情绪，让自己的思绪有条不紊。
爱丽丝也恢复了过来。
“没事，真的。”她最终答道，她的声音异常地平静，令人信服。“跟之前的那间房间一样。”
她终于看向我，她的神情既平静又孤僻。“你想吃早餐了吗？”
“不，我会在机场吃早餐。”我也很平静。我走进浴室，去洗个澡。简直像是我借用了贾斯帕的特异感觉一样，我能感觉到爱丽丝强烈的——尽管她掩饰得很好——绝望地想让我离开这间屋子，让她和贾斯帕独处的情绪。这样她就能告诉他他们做错了某件事，他们注定要失败……
我有条不紊地做着准备，全神贯注地做好每一件琐事。我把头发放下来，披散在肩上，遮盖住自己的脸。贾斯帕所营造的安宁的气氛很有用，它能帮助我条理清晰地思考着。也有助于我的计划。我在书包里翻找着，挖出了我那只装满了钱的袜子。我把它倒空，把钱全部塞进了我的钱包里。
我迫不及待地想要到机场去，当我们在七点整出发的时候，我深感欣慰。这一次我独自坐在那辆黑色的轿车后排。爱丽丝倚在门上，她的脸朝着贾斯帕，但是，在她的太阳眼镜之下，她的眼睛每隔几秒就会向我的方向瞥一眼。
“爱丽丝？”我漠不关心地问道。
她很警惕。“嗯？”
“这是怎么做到的？你是怎么看见事物的呢？”我看向另一侧的窗外，我的声音听起来兴趣索然。“爱德华说过这不是很准确……事情会改变吗？”说出他的名字比我想过的还要困难。这一定让贾斯帕警惕起来，于是，一阵新鲜的清朗之气涤荡在车内。
“是的，事情会改变……”她喃喃低语着，我觉得，她似乎又燃起了希望。“有些事情会预测更准确些……比方说天气。但人们是很难预测的。我只能在他们开始前进时看到他们前进的方向。一旦他们改变了主意——做出一个新的决定，不管那决定有多么微小——整个未来就会改变了。”
我若有所思地点了点头。“所以你一直看不到詹姆斯在凤凰城，直到他决定来这里为止。”
“是的。”她赞同道，又警惕起来。
所以，在我决定去那里见詹姆斯以前，她不会在那间镜屋里看到我和他在一起。我试图不去思考她看到的到底是什么。我不想让自己的恐惧惊动贾斯帕，让他起疑心。无论如何，在爱丽丝看见了那些以后，他们会比平常更细心两倍地监视着我。这将会让我的一切努力成为不可能。
我们到了机场。幸运之神站在了我这边，或许这只是因为赔率比较高。（or maybe it was just good odds。。。）爱德华的飞机要在四个小时以后才会降落，那个航班将停靠在最大的那个候机楼里，而那时正是最多航班降落的时候——当然，他的飞机会在这个时间这个地点降落并不令人惊讶。但这正是我所需要的那座航空楼：最大的，最容易让人迷路的那一座，而候机楼三层的那道门将是我唯一的机会。（terminal。。。所谓幸福终点站，绝命终结站，其实都是指terminal，候机楼。。。这个认识让我有如醍醐灌顶。。。）
我们把车停在了那个巨大的停车楼的四层。我负责带路，因为我曾来过这里，所以比他们更熟悉周围的环境。我们坐电梯到了三层，那里是乘客办理行李托运的地方。（unloaded。。。我觉得托运行李的解释比办理登机手续更像些。。。）有很长一段时间，爱丽丝和贾斯帕都在看着即将起飞的航班办理登机手续的情景。我能听到他们在讨论着纽约，亚特兰大和芝加哥的优点和缺点。我从没见过那些地方。我再也不会有机会见到的地方。
我在焦急地等待着合适的时机，我的脚不听使唤地打着拍子。我们坐在金属探测器旁的一排排椅子上，贾斯帕和爱丽丝假装在看着来来往往的人群，实际上却是在监视着我。这真让人绝望。我应该跑吗？他们敢在这样的公共场合阻止我吗？又或者他们只会跟着我。
我把那封尚未署名的信封从钱包里拿出来，放到爱丽丝那只黑色的皮包上。她看着我。
“我的信。”我说道。她点了点头，把那封信收到皮包最外面的夹层里。他很快就会看到它了。
时间一分一秒地过去，爱德华的到来越来越近了。这实在是件惊人的事，我体内的每一个细胞似乎都知道他就要到来，都渴望着他的到来。这让事情变得很棘手。我发现自己试图想出留下来的借口，想要先看他一眼，再脱身而去。但我知道，只要我有任何机会脱身，这一切就不可能发生。
爱丽丝几次提出要陪我去吃早餐。再等会儿，我告诉她，我还不饿。
我盯着到达航班布告屏，看着一个又一个航班准时抵达。从西雅图飞来的航班越来越靠近布告屏的顶端了。
然后，当我还剩下三十分钟可以脱身的时候，屏幕上的数字变了。他的航班提前十分钟到达。我没时间了。
“我想我现在需要吃点东西了。”我迅速说道。
爱丽丝站起来。“我和你一起去。”
“你介意让贾斯帕陪我吗？”我问道。“我觉得有点……”我没把句子说完。我眼里的狂乱已足以表达我没有说出的一切。
贾斯帕站了起来。爱丽丝的眼里写满了困惑，但令我宽慰的是，我看到她眼里并没有怀疑的痕迹。她一定把自己所预见的改变归咎于追随者的某种阴谋，根本没想到是我的背叛。
贾斯帕沉默地走在我身旁，他的手轻轻点着我的背，就好像他在给我领路一样。我假装对最先遇到的那几家机场咖啡屋毫无兴趣，我的脑子在搜寻着我真正想要的某物。然后，我找到了，就在拐角处那里，在爱丽丝锐利的目光所及范围之外：三层女化妆间。
“你介意吗？”当我们走过那间化妆间前时，我问贾斯帕。“我只占用一点点时间。”
“我会在这里等着。”他说道。
身后的门刚刚关上，我立刻狂奔起来。我还记得，上次我曾在这个化妆间里迷路，因为这里有两个出口。
出了远处的那个门，只需再冲刺一小段路就能到达电梯。如果贾斯帕真的像他说的那样待在那里等着的话，他绝对不会看见我（i'd never be in his line of sight）。当我奔跑的时候，我没有回头张望。这是我唯一的几乎，即使他看见我了，我也得继续跑。人们都在盯着我看，但我不去理会他们。拐过拐角，电梯正在那里等着，我夺路狂奔，把手伸进那架载满了人的下行电梯即将关闭的门里。我用力挤进那群愤怒的乘客里，看了一眼按钮板，想知道一层的按钮是否已经被按下了。那个按钮已经亮了起来，电梯门关上了。
一等电梯门打开，我又挤了出去，身后传来一阵恼怒的喃喃低语声。当我从自动扶梯上穿过安保岗时，我放慢了速度。当出口出现在眼前时（出口在望时），我又狂奔起来。我已经来不及细想贾斯帕是否正在找我了。
如果他循着我的味道跟着我时，我就只剩下几秒钟的时间了。我冲向自动门，因为它们打开地太慢，我还差点撞到了玻璃上。
在拥挤的马路旁，我一辆的士都没看见。
我没时间了。爱丽丝和贾斯帕就要知道我的逃跑了，或者，他们已经知道了。只需一下心跳的时间他们就能找到我。
在离我几步远的地方，一辆去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士刚刚关上门。（hyatt,我居然差点翻成了海厄特。。。我还以为是地名。。。）
"等一下！"我大喊着跑过去，一路冲着司机招手。
"这是去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士。"司机用困惑的声音说着，打开了门。
"是的，"我怒气冲冲地说道。"这正是我要去的地方。"我赶忙奔上那几级踏板。
他斜着眼看着没带任何行李的我，却只是耸耸肩，懒得发问。
大多数的座位都空着，我尽可能地坐得离别的乘客更远些，然后看向窗外。第一眼先看人行道，再看机场，然后我的目光在这两者之间游离不定。我情不自禁地想象着爱德华的样子，想象着他追随着我的踪迹，然后站在了马路边上的样子。我还不能哭，我告诉自己，我还有很长的路要走。
我的运气显灵了。机场宾馆的门口，一对看上去很疲惫的夫妇正在把他们的最后一件行李从一辆的士的后备箱里拿出来。我跳下穿梭巴士，奔向那辆的士，迅速坐进司机身后的那个作为上。那对疲倦的夫妇和那个穿梭巴士司机都盯着我看。
我把我妈妈的住址告诉了那个一脸惊讶的出租车司机。"我要尽快赶到那里，越快越好。"
"那可是在菲尼克斯。"他抱怨道。（菲尼克斯是凤凰城的老城区，也是市中心。）
我把四张二十美元的钞票扔到前排座位上。
“这些够了吗？”
“当然，孩子，没问题。”
我坐回座位上，双臂交叠着抱住膝盖。熟悉的城市开始包围着我，但我根本不想看出窗外去。我努力让自己保持自制力。既然我的计划进行得如此顺利，我下定决心不让自己在这个时候崩溃。让自己沉浸在更多的恐惧和焦虑中是毫无意义的。我已经选择了这条路。现在我所能是继续走下去。
所以，我不再惶恐，而是闭上眼睛，用那二十分钟的车程尽情想着爱德华。
我想象着自己留在机场，与爱德华相见。我想象着，自己会怎样踮起脚尖，想要早些看见他的脸；他会怎样迅速而又优雅地穿过分隔着我们的拥挤的人群。然后，我会像平常一样鲁莽地冲上前去，走完我们之间的最后几步，然后落入他大理石般的怀抱。最终，我会平安无恙。
我想知道我们将会去那里。也许是北方的某个地方，这样他就能在白天外出。又或许是某个非常偏远的地方，这样我们就能再次躺在阳光下。我想象着他在海滩上的样子，他的肌肤会像海水一样闪闪发光。我不在乎我们得躲藏多久。和他一起困住宾馆房间里的时光一定宛如天堂。我还有那么多的问题想要问题。我可以一直和他谈话，永远也不睡觉，永远不离开他身边。
现在，（在我的脑海里，）我是如此清晰的看到了他的脸……几乎都能听到他的声音了。尽管有如此多的恐惧和绝望，我依然抓住了这短暂的欢乐。我太沉迷于自己逃避现实的白日梦里了，以至于完全忘记了时间的流逝。
“嗨，门牌号是多少？”
出租车司机的发问打破了我的白日梦，我幻觉里的所有色彩都荡然无存。恐惧，凄凉和艰难，正等着填补幻觉消失后所留下来的空白。
“5821。”我的声音听起来快要窒息了。那个司机紧张地看着我，就好像我是某个有趣的小插曲。
“那么，你到了。”他不安地看着我下车，也许只是在希望着我不要让他找钱。
“谢谢。”我喃喃低语着。没有必要感到害怕，我提醒自己。家里现在没人。我得抓紧时间。我的母亲正等着我，她一定已经吓坏了，只能指望我。
我跑向大门，本能地伸出手去取屋檐下的钥匙。我打开了门。屋里很黑，空无一人，一切正常。我向电话机跑去，在路上打开了厨房的灯。在那里，就在那块白板上，写着一行十位数字，字迹小巧工整。我的手指颤抖着伸向电话键盘，却拨错了。我不得不挂上电话，重新拨号。这次我把注意力全都集中在按钮上，小心地按顺序按下每一个按钮。我成功了。我用颤抖的手把电话举到耳边。电话只响了一下就接通了。
“你好，贝拉。”那个从容不迫的声音说道。“你真的很快。我对此印象深刻。”
“我妈妈还好吗？”
“她相当好。别担心，贝拉，我没和她吵架。当然，除非你不是一个人来。”
“就我一个人。”终我一生，我都没有如此孤独过。（"i'm alone." i'd never been more alone in my entire life.）
“非常好。现在，你知不知道你家附近的那家芭蕾舞教室？”
“知道。我知道怎么去那里。”
“很好，那么，我们待会见，很快。”
我挂上了电话。
我跑出房间，穿过大门，冲进灼人的热浪里。
没有时间回头再看一眼我的家了，我也不想看到它现在这个样子——空无一人，成为了恐惧而非避难所的象征。上一个走过这些房间的人是我的敌人。
通过眼角的余光，我仿佛看见了我的母亲站在那棵巨大的桉树的阴影里，看着还是个孩子的我玩耍着。她仿佛又跪在了信箱旁的那小小的一掊土旁，那是她试图种养的所有花儿的墓地。那些回忆比我今天所看到的所有真实都更加美好。但我飞快地从它们身旁跑开，冲向街道的拐角处，把一切都抛在了身后。
我总觉得自己跑得太慢，仿佛自己正在泥泞的沙地上奔跑一样——我似乎没法从水泥地上得到足够的支撑力。我被绊到了好几次，还有一次摔倒了。我伸出手想稳住自己，我的手在人行道上蹭破了皮。我摇摇晃晃地爬起来，继续向前跑去。最终，我跑过了那个街角。现在只剩一条街了。我喘息着，奔跑着，汗水自我的脸上倾注而下。阳光灼烧着我的肌肤，白色的水泥地面上反射着太过明亮的光线，晃了我的眼。我觉得自己被极其危险地一览无遗。我强烈地，比我所能想到的还要强烈得多的，思念着福克斯那翠绿的，给予庇护的森林……思念着我的家。
当我转过最后一个街角，冲进仙人掌街的时候，我能看到那间舞蹈教室了，它看上去依然是我记忆中的那个样子。教室门前的停车位是空的，屋里所有的竖式窗帘都拉了下来。我跑不动了——我甚至没法呼吸，筋疲力尽和恐惧夺走了我的优势。（exertion and fear had gotten the best of me。。。）我想着我的母亲，这才能让自己迈动步子，一步接一步地往前走。
当我走得更近些的时候，我看到了门里贴着的那张告示。那是一张手写的，写在深粉红色的纸张上的告示，上面说舞蹈教室因为春假而暂时关闭。我伸手去摸扶手，警惕地拧动它。门没锁。我强迫自己稳住呼吸，然后打开了门。
大厅里阴暗又空旷，很是凉爽，空调嗡嗡响着。 那些塑料扶手椅靠墙叠放着，地毯闻起来像是洗发水的味道。西面的舞蹈室里很暗，我能从那扇敞开的观察窗里看到那整个房间。东边的那间更大的舞蹈室的灯亮着，但那边的窗子的帘子拉了下来。
恐惧牢牢地抓住我，我简直要被困在其中了。我没法让自己迈动步子。然后，我妈妈的声音在大喊着。
“贝拉？贝拉？”一模一样的充满了竭斯底里的恐惧的声音。我奋力冲向那扇门，冲向她的声音。
“贝拉，你吓坏我了！你可不能再这样对我了！”当我奔进那间长长的，天花板很高的房间时，她的声音继续说着。
我环顾四周，试图找出她的声音是在哪里发出来的。我听到了她的笑声，急忙转过去面向她的声音。
她在那里，在电视屏幕上，如释重负地抚弄着我的发。那是在感恩节，我那时十二岁。我们去看住在加利福尼亚的外祖母，那是在她去世的前一年。有一天我们去了海滩，我靠得离码头的边缘太远了。她看到我的脚有些不稳，试图抓住我让我保持平衡。“贝拉？贝拉？”她惊恐地冲我大喊。
然后，电视机屏幕变成了蓝屏。
我慢慢地转过身去。他一动不动地站在后面的那个出口前，所以起初我完全没有注意到他。他手里拿着一只遥控器。我们久久地凝望着彼此，然后，他笑了。
他向我走来，走到离我很近的地方，然后从我身旁走过去，把遥控器放到录像机旁。我小心地转过身去看着他。
“我对此事很抱歉，贝拉，但你的母亲并没有真的被牵扯进来，这不是更好吗？”
他的声音既谦恭又友好。
忽然间，这个事实向我迎头击下。我的母亲安全了。她还在佛罗里达。她从没接到我的留言。她从没被我眼前这张异常苍白的脸上那双阴暗的血红双眼所吓到。她安全了。
“是的，”我答道。我的声音里渗满了宽慰。
“你听起来并没有因为我欺骗你而生气。”
“我没有。”我突如其来的情绪高涨让我勇敢了起来。现在这件事还重要吗？一切很快就要结束了。查理和妈妈永远不会受到伤害，永远不必恐惧。我感到一阵头晕目眩。我脑子里的某些善于推理的部分警告我，我现在很危险，很有可能会因为压力的骤然消失而崩溃掉。
“真奇怪。你就是这个意思。”他阴暗的眼睛饶有趣味地估量着我。他的虹膜几近黑色，仅仅是在虹膜边缘才有一丝深红色。口渴。“我给你那个古怪的巫会送上这样一份大礼，你这个人类一定会很感兴趣的。我猜，通过观察你，我看到了一场精彩的演出。这实在很惊人——你们中的一些人完全没有注意到你的私心。”
他站在离我只有几英尺远的地方，交叠着双臂，好奇地看着我。他的表情和站姿没有透露出半点威胁的意味。他真的相貌平平，五官和身材都没有任何特别之处。只有那雪白的肌肤，还有我已经被培养得开始习惯了的有着黑眼圈的眼睛，（才显得有几分特别。）他穿着一件淡蓝色的长袖恤衫，还有一条褪了色的蓝色牛仔裤。
“我猜，你会告诉我，你的男朋友会为你复仇的？”他问道，对我来说，他看上去满怀希望。
“不，我不这样认为。至少，我告诉过他不要这样做。”
“那么，他的回答是什么？”
“我不知道。”与这个优雅的捕猎者交谈轻松得有些奇怪。“我给他留了一封信。”
“真浪漫，最后的一封信。你认为他会遵守信中的内容吗？”他的声音听起来生硬了些，一丝讽刺破坏了他礼貌的语气。
“我希望他会。”
“呃嗯。好吧，那么我们的愿望很不一致。你看，这太容易了，太快了些。老实说，我有点失望。我本来还期待着更大的挑战。可到头来，我只需要一点运气。”
我沉默地等待着。
“在维多利亚没法靠近你父亲的时候，我让她找出更多关于你的信息。在我能够舒舒服服地在我选中的地方等着你的时候，就没有必要满世界地追着你跑了。所以，在我和维多利亚聊过以后，我决定来凤凰城拜访一下你母亲。我听到你说你要回家。起初，我从没想过你确实是这样做的。但之后我起了疑心。人类很容易被预测。他们喜欢待在熟悉的地方，安全的地方。这实在是个完美的做法，躲到你最不可能去躲藏的地方——你说你会去的地方。
不过，当然，我没法确定，这只是一种直觉。我通常能从我所狩猎的猎物身上得到感觉，这是一种第六感，如果你愿意这样称呼的话。能拿到你的门牌号对我来说很有用，但就我所知，你也可能在南极洲。（number可以是门牌号也可以是电话号码，但在这里好像前者比较像。。。）如果你不在附近的话，这个游戏就没有意义了。
然后，你的男朋友坐上了飞往凤凰城的航班。很自然地，维多利亚把这件事告诉了我。在这场游戏里有这么多的玩家，我不可能是孤军奋战。所以，这些讯息告诉了我我所希望的事情，你终究是在这里。我做好了准备。我看完了你那些迷人的家庭录像。然后，只剩下虚张声势的问题。
你知道，这一切来得太容易了，完全没有达到我的标准。所以，你看，我很希望你对你男朋友的判断是错误的。他叫爱德华，对吧？”
我没有回答。那种虚张声势的作用正在逐渐消失。我感觉到，他即将结束他贪婪的注视。无论如何，那不是冲着我来的。击败我，这个脆弱的人类，不能给他任何荣耀。
“你是否会，很介意，如果我用自己的方式留一封短信给你的爱德华？”
他后退一步，拿起一部原本被小心地放在立体声音响上的巴掌大小的数码摄像机。一点小小的红光显示着它一直开着。他调整了几下，把镜框调大。我震惊地看着他。
“我很抱歉，但我不认为在他看过这些以后，还能抵御住猎杀我的愿望。而且我也不想让他错过任何细节。当然，这一切都是为了他。你不过是个人类，一个很不幸出现在错误的时间，错误的地点的人类。而且无可辩驳地，和一群错误的人待在了一起，我得加上这一句。”
他向我走过来，微笑着。“在我们开始以前……”
当他说话的时候，我感觉到胃里一阵恶心。这是我完全没有预料到的情况。
“我只是想要踩到他痛处，只要一点点。自始至终答案都是这个，我真担心爱德华看出这一点，然后毁掉我的乐趣。这以前发生过一次，哦，是很多年以前。有一次，也是唯一的一次，我的猎物从我面前逃开了。”
“你看，那个愚蠢地喜欢着那个弱小的受害者的吸血鬼做出了你的爱德华因为太软弱而没法做出的选择。当那个老家伙知道我正追捕着他的小朋友时，他把她从他工作的那家收容所里偷了出来——我从来都弄不明白这一点，有些吸血鬼似乎就是痴迷于和你们人类为伍——他一把她放出来，立刻就让她安全了。她甚至没有注意到那种痛苦，可怜的小家伙。她被关在那间黑窟窿般的单人牢房里关太久了。如果是更早的一百年以前她一定会因为她的预知能力而被放到柴堆上烧死。但在十九世纪二十年代仅仅是收容所和休克疗法。当她睁开眼睛，因为自己的新生而格外强壮时，她看上去似乎此前从没见过太阳。那个老吸血鬼把她变成了一个强壮的新生吸血鬼，然后我再也没有理由靠近她了。”他叹了口气。“作为报复，我干掉了那个老家伙。”
“爱丽丝。”我震惊地压低声音说道。
“是的，你的那位小朋友。当我在空地上看到她时，我很是惊讶。所以我猜她的巫会应当能从这个经历中得到一些安慰。我得到了你，但他们得到了她。唯一一个从我身边逃脱的受害者，确实是个纪念品，真的。”
“她闻起来确实很美味。我依然感到后悔，我没来得及尝一口……她闻起来甚至比你还好。对不起——我不是有意要冒犯你的。你闻起来确实不错。花香的味道，不知怎的……”
他向我走了一步，但仍保持着几英寸的距离。他拿起我的一缕头发，优雅地轻嗅着。然后，他温柔地把那缕头发放回原处，我感觉到他冰冷的指尖触到了我的喉咙。他用一根拇指飞快地轻拍了一下我的脸颊，脸上写满了好奇。我迫切地想要逃开，但我僵住了。我甚至没法退缩。（就某种意义上说，詹姆斯的自制力跟爱德华有一拼。。。）
“不，”他放下手，低声地自言自语道。“我不明白。”他叹了口气。“好吧，我猜我们还是把剩下的事情做完吧。然后我就能打电话给你的朋友们，告诉他们在哪里能找到你，还有我小小的留言。”
现在我真的恶心起来了。我的痛苦源于我在他眼中所看到的一切。对他来说，仅仅是赢得游戏，吃饱喝足然后离开是远远不够的。事情不会像我指望的那样迅速地结束。我的膝盖开始颤抖，我害怕自己就要倒下去了。
他退回去，开始警惕地围着我绕圈，就好像他是在试图给博物馆的一尊雕像取一个更好的镜头一样。当他决定开始的地点的时候，他的脸依然坦率又友好。
然后他猛然俯下身去，变成我能认得出的那种蜷伏的姿势，他愉快的微笑越笑越开，慢慢张大着嘴，最终那不再是一个微笑，而是歪曲着嘴唇露出牙齿的姿势，他的牙齿全部露了出来，闪耀着光。
我没法控制住自己——我想要逃跑。尽管我知道这根本没用，我的膝盖依然虚软着，恐惧还是控制了一切，我向紧急出口冲去。
只一瞬间，他就冲到了我面前。我甚至没看出他袭来的是手还是脚，这一切发生得太快了。一记粉碎性的重击砸到了我的胸口——我感觉到自己向后飞去，然后听到了我的头砸到镜子上的撞击声。玻璃被撞得变了形，几片碎片掉落下来，散落在我身后的地板上。
我被吓得甚至感受不到疼痛。我甚至没法呼吸。
他慢慢地向我走来。
“效果很好。”他说着，审视着支离破碎的玻璃，声音又友好起来。“我觉得这房间对我的小短片来说很有戏剧性的视觉效果。这就是为什么我选择在这里见你。这里棒极了，不是吗？”
我不去理会他，手脚并用地向另一扇门跑去。
他马上超越了我。他的脚重重地踩在了我的大腿上。在我感觉到以前，我听到了那恶心的断裂声了。然后，我确实感觉到了，我甚至没法咽回自己极其痛苦的尖叫。我回过身去够自己的腿，他站在我身上，微笑着。
“你想要重新考虑一下你最后的请求吗？”他愉快地问道。他的脚趾推了推我骨折了的腿，我听到了一阵刺骨（悚然）的尖叫。我震惊地意识到，那声尖叫是我自己发出的。
“你真的不愿意让爱德华试图来找我吗？”他催促着。
“不，”我用嘶哑的声音大喊着。“不，爱德华，不要——”然后某个东西撞上我的脸，把我击回那面破碎的镜子上。
除了腿上的疼痛之外，我还感觉到了玻璃扎进我的头皮的尖锐的刺痛。然后一种温暖的液体以惊人的速度从我的头发里流下来。我感觉到它浸湿了我肩上的恤衫，我听到它滴落在木地板上的声音。它的味道让我的胃痉挛起来。
在头昏目眩和恶心反胃之中，我看到了某件事情，这突然给了我最后一丝希望。他原本十分专注的眼神里，现在燃起了一种失控的渴望。那些血染红了我雪白的恤衫，飞快地汇聚在地板上，让他因为口渴而疯狂起来。不管他最初的目的是什么，他再也没法做到了。
让一切快点结束，是我现在全部的愿望。从我的头上流下的鲜血带走了我的意识。我渐渐闭上了眼睛。
仿佛置身在水底，我听到了猎食者的最后一声咆哮。我的视野变成了长长的隧道，我能看到，在隧道的另一端，他黑色的身影正向我扑过来。我用尽最后一点力气，本能地举起手护住自己的脸。我闭上了眼睛，感觉自己像在漂浮着。