it must not be imagined that i at once grasped all the essential details of our trench system, as i have tried to put them concisely in the preceding chapter. on the contrary, it was only very gradually that i accumulated my intimate knowledge of our maze of trenches, only by degrees that i learnt the lie of the land, and only by personal patrolling that i learnt the interior economy of the craters. at first the front line, with its loops and bombing-posts, and portions “patrolled only,” its sand-bag dumps, its unexpected visions of r.e.’s scurrying like bolted rabbits from mine-shafts, its sudden jerk round a corner that brought you in full view of the german parapet across a crater that made you gaze fascinated several seconds before you realised that you should be stooping low, as here was a bad bit of trench that wanted deepening at once and had not been cleared properly after being blown in last night—all this, i say, was at first a most perplexing labyrinth. it was only gradually that i solved its mysteries, and discovered an order in its complexity. 118

i will give a few more extracts from my diary, some of which seem to me now delightfully na?ve! here they are, though.

“2nd feb., 1916. in the trenches. everything very quiet. we are in support, in a place called maple redoubt, on the reverse slope of a big ridge. good dug-outs (sic), and a view behind, over a big expanse of chalk-downs, which is most exhilarating. a day with blue sky and a tingle of frost. being on the reverse slope, you can walk about anywhere, and so can see everything. have just been up in the front trenches, which are over the ridge, and a regular, or rather very irregular, rabbit-warren. the boche generally only about thirty to forty yards away. the trenches are dry, that is the glorious thing. dry. just off to pow-wow to the new members of my platoon.”

here i will merely remark that the “good” dug-out in which we were living was blown in by a 4·2 shell exactly four days later, killing one officer and wounding the other two badly. with regard to the state of the trenches, it was dry weather, and “when they were dry they were dry, and when they were wet they were wet!”

“3rd feb. another beautiful february morning. slept quite well, despite rats overhead. o’brien and dixon awfully dull and heavy; can’t 119 think why. everything outside is full of life; there is a crispness in the air, and a delightful sharp shadow and light contrast as you look up maple redoubt.

meditations on coldness, and how it unmans—on hunger, and how it weakens—on the art of feeding and warming, and how women realise this, while men do not usually know there is any art in keeping house at all!

meditations, too, on the stupidity, slowness, and clumsiness of officers’ servants.”

dixon’s snores make me bucked with life; so, too, this same clumsiness of the servants. lewis came in just now. ‘why are you waiting, lewis?’ i asked. ‘i thought watson was waiting to-day.’ (this after a great strafing of servants for general stupidity and incompetence.) ‘none of the others dared come in, sir,’ he replied, in his high piping voice, and a broad grin on his face. oh! they are good fellows! why be fed up with life? why long faces? long faces, these are the bad things of life, the things to fight against....”

so did my vision of the third army school bear fruit, i see now!

“philosophy from the trenches. does it cover everything? does it explain the fellows i passed this morning being carried to the aid post, one with blood and orange iodine all over his face, and 120 the other wounded in both legs? it always comes as a surprise when the bombs and shells produce wounds and death....

watched a mine go up this evening—great yellow-brown mass of smoke, followed by a beautiful under-cloud of orange-pink that steamed up in a soft creamy way. no firing and shelling followed as at givenchy....

take over from ‘a’ to-morrow morning.

10 p.m. great starlight. jupiter and venus both up, and the great bear and orion glittering hard and clean in the steely sky. i wish i had a homer. i am sure he has just one perfect epithet for orion on a night like this. i shall read homer in a new light after these times. i begin to understand the spirit of the homeric heroes; it was all words, words, words before. now i see. billet life—where is that in the iliad? in the tents, of course. and the eating and drinking, the ‘word that puts heart into men,’ the cool stolid facing of death, all those gruesome details of wounds and weapons, all is being enacted here every day exactly as in the homeric age. human nature has not altered.

and did not homer tell, too, how utterly ‘fed up’ they were with it all? can one not read between the lines and see, besides the glamour of physical courage, the strain, the weariness, the ‘fed-upness’ of them all! i think so. ‘ν?στο?’ is 121 a word i remember so well. they were all longing for the day of their return. as here, the big fights were few and far between; and as here, there were the months and years of waiting.

and on them, too, the stars looked down, winking alike at greeks and trojans; just as to-night thousands of german and british faces, dull-witted or sharp, sour-faced or smiling, sad or happy, are gazing up and wondering if there is any wisdom in the world yet.

four thousand years ago? and all the time the stars in the great bear have been hurtling apart at thousands of miles an hour, and the human eye sees no difference. no wonder they wink at us....

and our mothers, and wives ... the women-folk—euripides understood their views on war. ten years they waited....

must go to bed. d—— these scuffling rats.”

frequently i found my thoughts flying back through the years, and more especially on starlit nights, or on a breathless spring evening, to the greeks and romans. life out here was so primitive; so much a matter of eating and drinking, and digging, and sleeping, and so full of the elements, of cold, and frost, and wind, and rain; there were so many definite and positive physical goods and bads, that the barrier of an unreal civilisation was completely swept away. under 122 the stars and in a trench you were as good as any homeric warrior; but you were little better. and so you felt you understood him. and here i will add that it was especially at sunset that the passionate desire to live would sometimes surge up, so intense, so clamorous, that it swept every other feeling clean aside for the time.

but to return to maple redoubt, or rather to gibraltar, where the next entry in my diary was written.

“6th feb. rather an uncomfortable dug-out in gibraltar. yesterday was a divine day. i sat up in ‘the fort’ most of the day, watching the bombardment. blue sky, on the top of a high chalk down; larks singing; and a real sunny dance in the air. we watched four aeroplanes sail over, amid white puffs of shrapnel; and a german ’plane came over. i could see the black crosses very plainly with my glasses. most godlike it must have been up there on such a morning. i felt very pleased with life, and did two sketches, one of sawyer, another of richards....

a dull thud, and then ‘there goes another,’ shouts someone. it reminds me of bill the lizard coming out of the chimney-pot in alice in wonderland. everyone gazes and waits for the crash! toppling through the sky comes a big tin oil-can, followed immediately by another; both fall and explode with a tremendous din, sending up a fifty-foot 123 spurt of black earth and flying débris, while down the wind comes the scud of sand-bag fluff and the smell of powder. this alternated with the 4·2’s, which come over with a scream and wait politely a second or two before bursting so inelegantly.” (i seem to have got mixed up a bit here: it was usually the canisters that “waited.”)

“the mining is a great mystery to me at present. one part of the trench is only patrolled, as the boche may ‘blow’ there at any moment. i must say it is an uncomfortable feeling, this liability to sudden projection skywards! the first night i had a sort of nightmare all the time, and kept waking up, and thinking about a mine going up under one. the second night i was too tired to have nightmares.

the rats swarm. i woke up last night, and saw one sitting on edwards, licking its whiskers. then it ran on to the box by the candle. it was a pretty brown fellow, rather attractive, i thought. i felt no repulsion whatever at sight of it....

the front trenches are a maze. i cannot disentangle all the loops and saps; and now we are cut off from ‘c,’ as the front trench is all blown in; one has to have a connecting patrol that goes via rue albert. a very weird affair. the only consolation is that the boche would be more lost if he got in!

i cannot help feeling that ‘b’ company has 124 been very lucky. we were in maple redoubt, wednesday, thursday, and friday; everything was quite quiet with us, but ‘d’ had seven casualties in the front trench. on friday we relieved ‘a,’ and all saturday the enemy bombarded a spot just behind our company’s left, putting over 4·2’s and canisters all day long from 9.0 a.m. onwards, and absolutely smashing up our trenches there. then trafalgar square has been rather a hot shop: two of our own whizz-bangs fell short there, and several rifle grenades fell very close—also, splinters of the 4·2’s came humming round, ending with little plops quite close. o’brien picked up a large splinter that fell in the trench right outside the dug-out. again, at ‘stand-down,’ when dixon, clark, edwards, and i were standing talking together at the top of 76 street, two canisters fell most alarmingly near us, about ten yards behind, covering us with dirt. yet we have not had a single casualty.

to-day we were to have been relieved by the manchesters at midday, but this morning at ‘stand to’ we heard the time had been altered to 8.0 a.m. ‘b’ was duly relieved, and no. 5 platoon had just changed gum-boots, while 6, 7, and 8 were sitting at the corner of maple redoubt enthralled in the same process, when over came two canisters, one smashing in old kent road, down which we had just come, and the other falling right into an ‘a’ company dug-out, twenty yards to my left, killing two men and wounding three others, one probably 125 mortally. and now i have just had the news that the manchester have had twenty-three casualties to-day, including three officers, their r.s.m., and a company sergeant-major.”

as i read some of these sentences, true in every detail as they are, i cannot help smiling. for it was no “bombardment” that took place on our left all day; it was merely the germans potting one of our trench-mortar positions! and trafalgar square was really very quiet, that first time in. but what i notice most is the way in which i record the fall of individual canisters and rifle grenades, even if they were twenty yards away! never a six days in, latterly, that we did not have to clear old kent road and watling street two or three times; and we used to fire off a hundred rifle grenades a day very often, and received as many in return always. and the record of casualties one did not keep. we were lucky, it is true. once, and once only, after, did “b” company go in and come out without a casualty. those first two days in maple redoubt, when “everything was quiet,” were the most deceitful harbingers of the future that could have been imagined. “why long faces?” i could write. the manchesters had a ruder but a truer introduction to the bois fran?ais trenches, and especially to maple redoubt. for the dug-outs were abominable; not one was shell-proof; and there was no parados or traverse for a hundred 126 and fifty yards. the truth of the matter was that these trenches had been some of the quietest in the line; for some reason or other, when our division took them over, they immediately changed face about, and took upon themselves the task of growing in a steady relentless crescendo into one of the hottest sectors in the line.

on the 22nd of february the germans raided our trenches on the left opposite fricourt. they did not get much change out of it. i can remember at least four raids close on our left or right during those four months; they never actually came over on our front, but we usually came in for the bombardment. the plan is to isolate the sector to be raided by an intense bombardment on that sector, and on the sectors on each side; to “lift” the barrage, or curtain of fire, at a given moment off the front line of the sector raided “what time” (as the old phrase goes) they come over, enter the trench, if they can, make a few prisoners, and get back quickly. all the while the sectors to right and left are being bombarded heavily. it was this isolating bombardment that our front line was receiving, while we were left unmolested in 71 north. all this i did not know at the time. here is my record of it.

“25 feb., 1916. it is snowing hard. we are in a very comfortable tubular dug-out in 71 north. this dug-out is the latest pattern, being on the twopenny-tube model; very warm, and free from 127 draughts. it is not shell-proof, but then shells never seem to come near here.

let me try and record the raid on our left on the 22nd, before i forget it.

the manchesters were in the front line and maple redoubt. during the afternoon the boche started putting heavies on to maple redoubt, and the corner of canterbury avenue. ‘bad luck on the manchesters again,’ we all agreed—and turned in for tea. there was a wonderful good fire going.

‘by jove, they are going it,’ i said, as we sat down and gray brought in the teapot. thud! thud! thud—thud! we simply had to go out and watch. regular coal-boxes, sending up great columns of mud, and splinters humming and splashing right over us, a good hundred yards or more. ‘better keep inside,’ from dixon.

we had tea, and things seemed to quiet down.

then about six o’clock the bombardment got louder, and our guns woke up like fun. ‘vee-bm ... vee-bm’ from our whizz-bangs going over, and then the machine-guns began on our left. simultaneously, in came richards (dixon’s servant) with an excited air. ‘gas,’ he exclaimed. instinctively, i felt for my gas helmet. meanwhile dixon had gone outside. ‘absurd,’ he said in a quiet voice. ‘the wind’s wrong. who brought that message?’

then up came a telephone orderly. i heard 128 him running on the hard road. ‘stand to,’ he said breathlessly, and dixon went off to the ’phone with him. nicolson appeared in a gas helmet. i was looking for my pipe, but could not find it. then at last i went out without it.

outside it was getting dark. it was a fairly nippy air. the bombardment was going strong. all the sky was flickering, and our guns were screaming over. ‘crump, crump,’ the boche shells were bursting up by maple redoubt. ‘scream, scream,’ went our guns back; and right overhead our big guns went griding.

all this i noticed gradually. my first impression was the strong smell of gas helmets in the cold air. the gas alarm had spread, and some of the men had their helmets on. i felt undecided. i simply did not know, whether the men should wear them or not. what was happening? i wished dixon would come back. ah! there he was. what news?

‘i can’t get through,’ he said, ‘but we shall get a message all right if necessary.’

‘what’s happening?’ i asked. ‘do you think they are coming over.’

‘no. it won’t last long, i expect. still, just let’s see if the men have got their emergency rations with them.’

a few had not, and were sent into the dug-outs for them. gas helmets were ordered back into their satchels. 129

‘no possibility of gas,’ said dixon; ‘wind’s dead south.’

i was immensely bucked now. there was a feeling of tenseness and bracing-up. i felt the importance of essentials—rifles and bayonets in good order—the men fit, and able to run. this was the real thing, somehow.

i made lewis go in and get my pipe. i found i had no pouch, and stuffed loose baccy in my pocket.

i realised i had not thought out what i would do in case of attack. i did not know what was happening. i was glad dixon was there....

it was great, though, to hear the continuous roar of the cannonade, and the machine-guns rapping, not for five minutes, but all the time. that i think was the most novel sound of all. no news. that was a new feature. a manchester officer came up and said all their communications were cut with the left.

i was immensely bucked, especially with my pipe. our servants were good friends to have behind us, and dixon was a man in his element. the men were all cool. ‘germans have broken through,’ i heard one man say. ‘where?’ said someone rather excitedly. ‘in the north sea,’ was the stolid reply.

at last the cannonade developed into a roar on our left, and we realised that any show was there, and not on our sector. then up came the 130 quartermaster with some boots for dixon and me, and we all went into the dug-out, where was a splendid fire. and we stayed there, and certain humorous remarks from the quartermaster suddenly turned my feelings, and i felt that the tension was gone, the thing was over; and that outside the bombardment was slackening. in half an hour it was ‘stand down’ at 7.40.

i was immensely bucked. i knew i should be all right now in an attack. and the cannonade at night was a magnificent sight. of course we had not been shelled, though some whizz-bangs had been fired fifty yards behind us just above ‘redoubt a,’ trying for the battery just over the hill.

my chief impression was, ‘this is the real thing.’ you must know your men. they await clear orders, that is all. it was dark. i remember thinking of brigade and division behind, invisible, seeing nothing, yet alone knowing what was happening. no news, that was interesting. an entirely false rumour came along, ‘all dug-outs blown in in maple redoubt.’

i had sent evans to bray to try and buy coal: he returned in the middle of the bombardment with a long explanation of why he had been unable to get it.

‘afterwards,’ i said. somehow coal could wait.

all the while i have been writing this, there is a regular blizzard outside.” 131

such is my record of my first bombardment. the manchesters, who were in the front line, suffered rather heavily, but not in maple redoubt. no dug-outs were smashed in at all there, though canterbury avenue was blocked in two places, and old kent road in one. the germans came over from just north of fricourt, but only a very few reached our trenches, and of them about a dozen were made prisoners, and the rest killed. it was a “bad show” from the enemy point of view.

and now i will leave my diary. these first impressions are interesting enough, but later the entries became more and more spasmodic, and usually introspective. the remaining chapters are not exactly, though very nearly, chronological. from february 6th to march 8th i was sniping and intelligence officer to the battalion. chapters viii, ix, and xii describe incidents in that period. then on march 8th captain dixon was transferred as second-in-command to our ——th battalion, and on that date i took over the command of “b” company, which i held until i was wounded on the 7th of june. these were the three months in which i learnt the strain of responsibility as well as the true tragedy of this war.

during all these four months i was fortunate in having as a commanding officer a really great soldier. the c.o. had inaugurated his arrival by a vigorous emphasis of the following principle: 132 “no man’s land belongs to us; if the boche dare show his face in it, he’s going to be d—d sorry for it. we are top-dogs, and if there is any strafing, the last word must always be ours.” such was the policy of the man behind me during those four months. meanwhile, from eight to midnight every night, trenches were being deepened, the parapet thickened, and fire-steps and traverses being put in the front line, which had hitherto been a maze of hasty improvisations; barbed wire was put out at an unprecedented pace, and patrols were going out every night. if things went wrong, there was the devil to pay; but if things went well, one was left entirely unmolested; and if there was a bombardment on, the orders came quick and clear. and any company commander will know that those three qualities in a commanding officer are worth almost anything.