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Ghetto Comedies

Chapter 3
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tinowitz read the landlord's hebrew note, and surveyed the suitor disapprovingly. and disapproval did not improve his face—a face in whose grotesque features david read a possible explanation of his surplus stock of daughters.

'i cannot say i am very taken with you,' the corn-factor said. 'nor is it possible to give you my youngest daughter. i have other plans. even the eldest——'

david waved his hand. 'i told my landlord as much. am i a talmud-sage that i should thus aspire? forgive and forget my chutzpah (impudence)!'

'but the eldest—perhaps—with a smaller dowry——'

'to tell the truth, panie tinowitz, it was the landlord who turned my head with false hopes. i came here not to promote marriages, but to prevent funerals!'

the corn-factor gasped, 'funerals!'

'a pogrom is threatened——'

'open not your mouth to satan!' reprimanded tinowitz, growing livid.

[382]'if you prefer silence and slaughter——' said david, with a shrug.

'it is impossible—here!'

'and why not here, as well as in the six hundred and thirty-eight other towns?'

'in those towns there must have been bad blood; here jew and russian live together like brothers.'

'cain and abel were brothers. there were many peaceful years while cain tilled the ground and abel pastured his sheep.'

the biblical reference was more convincing to tinowitz than a wilderness of arguments.

'then, what do you propose?' came from his white lips.

'to form a branch of the samooborona. you must first summon a meeting of householders.'

'what for?'

'for a general committee—and for the expenses.'

'but how can we hold a meeting? the police——'

'there's the synagogue.'

'profane the synagogue!'

'did not the jews always fly to the synagogue when there was danger?'

'yes, but to pray.'

'we will pray by pistol.'

'guard your tongue!'

'guard your daughters.'

'the uppermost will guard them.'

'the uppermost guards them through me, as he feeds them through you. for the last time i ask you, will you or will you not summon me a meeting of householders?'

[383]'you rush like a wild horse. i thank heaven you will not be my son-in-law.'

tinowitz ended by demanding time to think it over. david was to call the next day.

when, after a sleepless night on the stove, he betook himself to the corn-factor's house, he found it barred and shuttered. the neighbours reported that tinowitz had gone off on sudden business, taking his wife and daughters with him for a little jaunt.

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