'mr. simeon samuels requests me to say that he presents his compliments to the secretary of the sudminster hebrew congregation, and begs to acknowledge the receipt of the council's resolution. in reply i am to state that mr. samuels regrets that his views on the sabbath question should differ from those of his fellow-worshippers, but he has not attempted to impress his views on the majority, and he regrets that in a free country like england they should have imported the tyranny of the lands of persecution [161]from which they came. fortunately such procedure is illegal. by the act of charles i. the sabbath is defined as the sunday, and as a british subject mr. samuels takes his stand upon the british constitution. mr. samuels has done his best to compromise with the congregation by attending the sabbath service on the day most convenient to the majority. in regard to the veiled threat of the refusal of burial rights, mr. samuels desires me to say that he has no intention of dying in sudminster, but merely of getting his living there. in any case, under his will, his body is to be deported to jerusalem, where he has already acquired a burying-place.'

'next year in jerusalem!' cried barzinsky fervently, when this was read to the next meeting.

'order, order,' said the parnass. 'i don't believe in his jerusalem grave. they won't admit his dead body.'

'he relies on smuggling in alive,' said barzinsky gloomily, 'as soon as he has made his pile.'

'that won't be very long at this rate,' added ephraim mendel.

'the sooner the better,' said the gabbai impatiently. 'let him go to jericho.'

there was a burst of laughter, to the gabbai's great astonishment.

'order, order, gentlemen,' said the parnass. 'don't you see from this insolent letter how right i was? the rascal threatens to drag us to the christian courts, that's clear. all that about jerusalem is only dust thrown into our eyes.'

'grave-dust,' murmured straumann.

'order! he is a dangerous customer.'

'shopkeeper,' corrected straumann.

the parnass glared, but took snuff silently.

[162]'i don't wonder he laughed at us,' said straumann, encouraged. 'bi-weekly by a member. ha! ha! ha!'

'mr. president!' barzinsky screamed. 'will you throw that laughing hyena out, or shall i?'

straumann froze to a statue of dignity. 'let any animalcule try it on,' said he.

'shut up, you children, i'll chuck you both out,' said ephraim mendel in conciliatory tones. 'the point is—what's to be done now, mr. president?'

'nothing—till the end of the year. when he offers his new subscription we refuse to take it. that can't be illegal.'

'we ought all to go to him in a friendly deputation,' said straumann. 'these formal resolutions "buy! buy!" put his back up. we'll go to him as brothers—all israel are brethren, and blood is thicker than water.'

'chutney is thicker than blood,' put in the parnass mysteriously. 'he'll simply try to palm off his stock on the deputation.'

ephraim mendel and solomon barzinsky jumped up simultaneously. 'what a good idea,' said ephraim. 'there you have hit it!' said solomon. their simultaneous popping-up had an air of finality—like the long and the short of it!

'you mean?' said the parnass, befogged in his turn.

'i mean,' said barzinsky, 'we could buy up his stock, me and the other marine-dealers between us, and he could clear out!'

'if he sold it reasonably,' added mendel.

'even unreasonably you must make a sacrifice for the sabbath,' said the parnass. 'besides, divided among the lot of you, the loss would be little.'

'and you can buy in my barometer with the rest,' added peleg.

[163]'we could call a meeting of marine-dealers,' said barzinsky, disregarding him. 'we could say to them we must sacrifice ourselves for our religion.'

'tell that to the marine-dealers!' murmured straumann.

'and that we must buy out the sabbath-breaker at any cost.'

'buy! buy!' said straumann. 'if you'd only thought of that sort of "buy! buy!" at the first!'

'order, order!' said the parnass.

'it would be more in order,' said straumann, 'to appoint an executive sub-committee to deal with the question. i'm sick of it. and surely we as a synagogue council can't be in order in ordering some of our members to buy out another.'

'hear, hear!' his suggestion found general approval. it took a long discussion, however, before the synagogue decided to wash its hands of responsibility, and give over to a sub-committee of three the task of ridding sudminster of its plague-spot by any means that commended itself to them.

solomon barzinsky, ephraim mendel, and peleg the pawnbroker were elected to constitute this council of three.