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Ghetto Comedies

Chapter 8
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'simeon and levi are brethren ... into their assembly be not thou united: in their self-will they digged down a wall.'

the parnass applauded mentally. the text, from [139]jacob's blessing, was ingeniously expurgated to meet the case. the wall, he perceived at once, was the sabbath—the jews' one last protection against the outer world, the one last dyke against the waves of heathendom. nor did his complacency diminish when his intuition proved correct, and the preacher thundered against the self-will—ay, and the self-seeking—that undermined israel's last fortification. what did they seek under the wall? did they think their delving spades would come upon a hidden store of gold, upon an ancient treasure-chest? nay, it was a coffin they would strike—a coffin of dead bones and living serpents.

a cold wave of horror traversed the synagogue; a little shriek came from the gallery.

'i don't think i ever enjoyed a sermon so much,' said the pawnbroker to the parnass.

'oh, he's improving,' said the parnass, still swollen with satisfaction.

but as that worthy elder emerged from the synagogue, placidly snuffing himself, he found an excited gentleman waiting him in the lobby. it was lazarus levy, whom his wife deborah, daughter of s. cohn (now of highbury), was vainly endeavouring to pacify.

'either that reverend gabriel goes, mr. parnass, or i resign my membership.'

'what is it, mr. levy—what is the matter?'

'everybody knows i've been a good jew all my life, and though saturday is so good for the clothing business, i've striven with all my might to do my duty by the almighty.'

'of course, of course; everybody knows that.'

'and yet to-day i'm pointed out as a sinner in israel; i'm coupled with that simeon samuels. simeon and [140]levy are brothers in their iniquity—with their assembly be not united. a pretty libel, indeed!'

the parnass's complacency collapsed like an air-ball at a pin-prick. 'oh, nonsense, everybody knows he couldn't mean you.'

'i don't know so much. there are always people ready to think one has just been discovered keeping a back-door open or something. i shouldn't be at all surprised to get a letter from my father-in-law in london—you know how pious old cohn is! as for simeon, he kept looking at me as if i was his long-lost brother. ah, there comes our precious minister.... look here, mr. gabriel, i'll have the law on you. simeon's no brother of mine——'

the sudden appearance of simeon through the other swing-door cut the speaker short. 'good shabbos,' said the shameless sinner. 'ah, mr. gabriel, that was a very fine sermon.' he stroked his beard. 'i quite agree with you. to dig down a public wall is indefensible. nobody has the right to make more than a private hole in it, where it blocks out his own prospect. so please do not bracket me with mr. levy again. good shabbos!' and, waving his hand pleasantly, he left them to their consternation.

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