on the sunday night solomon barzinsky and ephraim mendel in pious black velvet caps, and their stout spouses in gold chains and diamond earrings, found themselves playing solo whist in the parnass's parlour, and their religious grievance weighed upon the game. the parnass, though at heart as outraged as they by the new departure, felt it always incumbent upon him to display his presidential impartiality and his dry humour. his authority, mainly based on his being the only retired shopkeeper in the community, was greatly strengthened by his slow manner [123]of taking snuff at a crisis. 'my dear mendel,' observed the wizened senior, flicking away the spilth with a blue handkerchief, 'simeon samuels has already paid his annual subscription—and you haven't!'

'my money is good,' mendel replied, reddening.

'no wonder he can pay so quickly!' said solomon barzinsky, shuffling the cards savagely.

'how he makes his money is not the question,' said the parnass weightily. 'he has paid it, and therefore if i were to expel him, as you suggest, he might go to law.'

'law!' retorted solomon. 'can't we prove he has broken the law of moses?'

'and suppose?' said the parnass, picking up his cards placidly. 'do we want to wash our dirty talysim (praying-shawls) in public?'

'he is right, solomon,' said mrs. barzinsky. 'we should become a laughing-stock among the heathen.'

'i don't believe he'd drag us to the christian courts,' the little man persisted. 'i pass.'

the rubber continued cheerlessly. 'a man who keeps his shop open on sabbath is capable of anything,' said the lanky mendel, gloomily sweeping in his winnings.

the parnass took snuff judicially. 'besides, he may have a christian partner who keeps all the saturday profits,' he suggested.

'that would be just as forbidden,' said barzinsky, as he dealt the cards.

'but your cousin david,' his wife reminded him, 'sells his groceries to a christian at passover.'

'that is permitted. it would not be reasonable to [124]destroy hundreds of pounds of leaven. but sabbath partnerships are not permitted.'

'perhaps the question has never been raised,' said the parnass.

'i am enough of a lamdan (pundit) to answer it,' retorted barzinsky.

'i prefer going to a specialist,' rejoined the parnass.

barzinsky threw down his cards. 'you can go to the devil!' he cried.

'for shame, solomon!' said his wife. 'don't disturb the game.'

'to gehenna with the game! the shame is on a parnass to talk like an epikouros (epicurean).'

the parnass blew his nose elaborately. 'it stands in the talmud: "for vain swearing noxious beasts came into the world." and if——'

'it stands in the psalmist,' barzinsky interrupted: '"the law of thy mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver."'

'it stands in the perek,' the parnass rejoined severely, 'that the wise man does not break in upon the speech of his fellow.'

'it stands in the shulchan aruch,' barzinsky shrieked, 'that for the sanctification of the sabbath——'

'it stands in the talmud,' interposed mendel, with unwonted animation in his long figure, 'that one must not even offer a nut to allure customers. from light to heavy, therefore, it may be deduced that——'

a still small voice broke in upon the storm. 'but simeon samuels hasn't a christian partner,' said mrs. mendel.

there was an embarrassed pause.

[125]'he has only his wife to help him,' she went on. 'i know, because i went to the shop friday morning on pretence of asking for a cuckoo-clock.'

'but a marine-dealer doesn't sell clocks,' put in the parnass's wife timidly. it was her first contribution to the conversation, for she was overpowered by her husband's greatness.

'don't be silly, hannah!' said the parnass. 'that was just why mrs. mendel asked for it.'

'yes, but unfortunately simeon samuels did have one,' mrs. mendel confessed; 'and i couldn't get out of buying it.'

there was a general laugh.

'cut-throat competition, i call it,' snarled solomon barzinsky, recovering from his merriment.

'but you don't sell clocks,' said the parnass.

'that's just it; he gets hold of our customers on pretence of selling them something else. the talmudical prohibition cited by mendel applies to that too.'

'so i wasn't so silly,' put in the parnass's wife, feeling vaguely vindicated.

'well, you saw his wife,' said the parnass to mendel's wife, disregarding his own. 'more than i've done, for she wasn't in synagogue. perhaps she is the christian partner.' his suggestion brought a new and holier horror over the card-table.

'no, no,' replied mrs. mendel reassuringly. 'i caught sight of her frying fish in the kitchen.'

this proof of her jewishness passed unquestioned, and the new-born horror subsided.

'but in spite of the fish,' said mr. mendel, 'she served in the shop while he was at synagogue.'

'yes,' hissed barzinsky; 'and in spite of the [126]synagogue he served in the shop. a greater mockery was never known!'

'not at all, not at all,' said the parnass judicially. 'if a man breaks one commandment, that's no reason he should break two.'

'but he does break two,' solomon thundered, smiting the green cloth with his fist; 'for he steals my custom by opening when i'm closed.'

'take care—you will break my plates,' said the parnass. 'take a sandwich.'

'thank you—you've taken away my appetite.'

'i'm sorry—but the sandwiches would have done the same. i really can't expel a respectable seat-holder before i know that he is truly a sinner in israel. as it is written, "thou shalt inquire and make search and ask diligently." he may have only opened this once by way of a send-off. every dog is allowed one bite.'

'at that rate, it would be permitted to eat a ham-sandwich—just for once,' said solomon scathingly.

'don't say i called you a dog,' the parnass laughed.

'a mezaire!' announced the hostess hurriedly. 'after all, it's the almighty's business, not ours.'

'no, it's our business,' solomon insisted.

'yes,' agreed the parnass drily; 'it is your business.'