having no longer a home of my own, it was decided that i should go to my people in charlotte county. one of my sons, theo, and two of my little daughters were already there, and there i expected to remain until the end of the war.
but repeated attempts to reach my country home resulted in failure. marauding parties and guerillas were flying all over the country. there had been alarm at a bridge over the staunton near the oaks, and the old men and boys had driven away the enemy. i positively could not venture alone.
so it was decided that i should return to my husband's old district, to petersburg, and there find board in some private family.
i reached petersburg in the autumn and wandered about for days seeking refuge in some household. many of my old friends had left town. strangers and refugees had rented the houses of some of these, while others were filled with the homeless among their own kindred. there was no room anywhere for me, and my small purse was growing so slender that i became anxious. finally my brother-in-law offered me an overseer's house on one of his "quarters." 252 the small dwelling he placed at my disposal was to be considered temporary only; some one of his town houses would soon be vacant. when i drove out to the little house, i found it hardly better than a hovel. we entered a rude, unplastered kitchen, the planks of the floor loose and wide apart, the earth beneath plainly visible. there were no windows in this smoke-blackened kitchen. a door opened into a tiny room with a fireplace, window, and out-door of its own; and a short flight of stairs led to an unplastered attic, so that the little apartment was entered by two doors and a staircase. it was already cold, but we had to beat a hasty retreat and sit outside while a colored boy made a "smudge" in the house, to dislodge the wasps that had tenanted it for many months. my brother had lent me bedding for the overseer's pine bedstead and the low trundle-bed underneath. the latter, when drawn out at night, left no room for us to stand. when that was done, we had to go to bed. for furniture we had only two or three wooden chairs and a small table. there were no curtains, neither carpet nor rugs, no china. there was wood at the woodpile, and a little store of meal and rice, with a small bit of bacon in the overseer's grimy closet. this was to be my winter home.
petersburg was already virtually in a state of siege. not a tithe of the food needed for its army of refugees could be brought to the city. our highway, the river, was filled, except for a short distance, with federal gunboats. the markets had long been closed. the stores of provisions had been exhausted, 253 so that a grocery could offer little except a barrel or two of molasses made from the domestic sorghum sugar-cane—an acrid and unwholesome sweet used instead of sugar for drink with water or milk, and for eating with bread. the little boys at once began to keep house. they valiantly attacked the woodpile, and found favor in the eyes of mary and the man, whom i never knew as other than "mary's husband." he and mary were left in charge of the quarter and had a cabin near us.
i had no books, no newspapers, no means of communicating with the outside world; but i had one neighbor, mrs. laighton, a daughter of winston henry, granddaughter of patrick henry. she lived near me with her husband—a northern man. both were very cultivated, very poor, very kind. mrs. laighton, as lucy henry,—a brilliant young girl,—had been one of the habitues of the oaks. we had much in common, and her kind heart went out in love and pity for me.
she taught me many expedients: that to float tea on the top of a cup of hot water would make it "go farther" than when steeped in the usual way; also that the herb, "life everlasting," which grew in the fields would make excellent yeast, having somewhat the property of hops; and that the best substitute for coffee was not the dried cubes of sweet potato, but parched corn or parched meal, making a nourishing drink, not unlike the "postum" of to-day. and mrs. laighton kept me a "living soul" in other and higher ways. she reckoned intellectual ability the greatest of god's gifts, raising us so far 254 above the petty need of material things that we could live in spite of their loss. her talk was a tonic to me. it stimulated me to play my part with courage, seeing i had been deemed worthy, by the god who made me, to suffer in this sublime struggle for liberty. she was as truly gifted as was ever her illustrious grandfather. to hear her was to believe, so persuasive and convincing was her eloquence.
i had not my good eliza page this winter. she had fallen ill. i had a stout little black girl, julia, as my only servant; but mary had a friend, a "corn-field hand," "anarchy," who managed to help me at odd hours. mrs. laighton sent me every morning a print of butter as large as a silver dollar, with two or three perfect biscuits, and sometimes a bowl of persimmons or stewed dried peaches. she had a cow, and churned every day, making her biscuits of the buttermilk, which was much too precious to drink.
a great snow-storm overtook us a day or two before christmas. my little boys kindled a roaring fire in the cold, open kitchen, roasted chestnuts, and set traps for the rabbits and "snowbirds" which never entered them. they made no murmur at the bare christmas; they were loyal little fellows to their mother. my day had been spent in mending their garments,—making them was a privilege denied me, for i had no materials. i was not "all unhappy!" the rosy cheeks at my fireside consoled me for my privations, and something within me proudly rebelled against weakness or complaining. 255
the flakes were falling thickly at midnight, when i suddenly became very ill. i sent out for mary's husband and bade him gallop in to petersburg, three miles distant, and fetch me dr. withers. i was dreadfully ill when he arrived—and as he stood at the foot of my bed i said to him: "it doesn't matter much for me, doctor! but my husband will be grateful if you keep me alive."
when i awoke from a long sleep, he was still standing at the foot of my bed where i had left him—it seemed to me ages ago! i put out my hand and it touched a little warm bundle beside me. god had given me a dear child!
the doctor spoke to me gravely and most kindly. "i must leave you now," he said, "and, alas! i cannot come again. there are so many, so many sick. call all your courage to your aid. remember the pioneer women, and all they were able to survive. this woman," indicating anarchy, "is a field-hand, but she is a mother, and she has agreed to help you during the christmas holidays—her own time. and now, god bless you, and good-by!"
i soon slept again—and when i awoke the very angel of strength and peace had descended and abode with me. i resolved to prove to myself that if i was called to be a great woman, i could be a great woman. looking at me from my bedside were my two little boys. they had been taken the night before across the snow-laden fields to my brother's house, but had risen at daybreak and had "come home to take care" of me! 256
my little maid julia left me christmas morning. she said it was too lonesome, and her "mistis" always let her choose her own places. i engaged "anarchy" at twenty-five dollars a week for all her nights. but her hands, knotted by work in the fields, were too rough to touch my babe. i was propped upon pillows and dressed her myself, sometimes fainting when the exertion was over.
i was still in my bed three weeks afterward, when one of my boys ran in, exclaiming in a frightened voice, "oh, mamma, an old gray soldier is coming in!"
he stood—this old gray soldier—and looked at me, leaning on his sabre.
"is this the reward my country gives me?" he said; and not until he spoke did i recognize my husband. turning on his heel, he went out, and i heard him call:—
"john! john! take those horses into town and sell them! do not return until you do so—sell them for anything! get a cart and bring butter, eggs, and everything you can find for mrs. pryor's comfort."
he had been with fitz lee on that dreadful tramp through the snow after averill. he had suffered cold and hunger, had slept on the ground without shelter, sharing his blanket with john. he had used his own horses, and now if the government needed him the government might mount him. he had no furlough, and soon reported for duty; but not before he had moved us, early in january, into town—one of my brother-in-law's houses having 257 been vacated at the beginning of the year. john knew his master too well to construe him literally, and had reserved the fine gray, jubal early, for his use. that i might not again fall into the sad plight in which he had found me, he purchased three hundred dollars in gold, and instructed me to prepare a girdle to be worn all the time around my waist, concealed by my gown. the coins were quilted in; each had a separate section to itself, so that with scissors i might extract one at a time without disturbing the rest.
from the beginning of the war to its last year petersburg had remained in a state of comparative repose, broken only by the arrival and departure of the troops passing from the south to the army of northern virginia. these, as we have said, were always welcomed, if they passed through by day, with gifts of flowers, fruit, and more substantial refreshment.
to continue this greeting, petersburg women denied themselves every luxury. the tramp of soldiers was a familiar sound in our streets, but no hostile footsteps had ever resounded there, no hostile gun had yet been fired within its limits. it is true the low muttering of distant artillery as it came up the james and the appomattox from the field of big bethel had caught the ears of the citizens, and they had listened with heightened interest in its louder booming as it told of seven pines, and the seven days' struggle around richmond, just twenty miles away. but when the baffled army of mcclellan retired in the direction of washington, and general lee moved away beyond the potomac, the 258 old men, women, and children (for there were no men left capable of bearing arms) settled down to their daily avocations—and daily prayers for the dear boys at the front.
families that had fled from petersburg at the time of mcclellan's advance upon richmond had now returned. my next-door neighbors were mr. thomas branch and the rev. churchill gibson. from one of my windows i could look into a large garden, where the workmen were busy planting seeds and setting long rows of onions, cabbage plants, tomato plants, and sticks for the green peas just peeping out of the brown earth. across the street lived the widow of the hon. richard kidder meade, with her accomplished daughters, mary, marion, and julia. these were delightful neighbors. lower down lived the bollings,—parents of tabb bolling, the superb, already affianced to general rooney lee. then mr. and mrs. william banister, with another houseful of lovely young women, "mollie" and "gussie" banister; and their cousin, alice gregory, waiting until the cruel war should be over to reward handsome colonel arthur herbert. alice's own home was just outside our fortifications, and was, i believe, burned when petersburg was assaulted. beautiful patty hardee was another of these girls. helen made the ninth of the band of muses. all were accomplished in music. marion's latest fancy was significant,—gottschalk's "last hope!" sweet alice took our hearts with her touching hymns, giving a new meaning to the simplest words. 259
gussie banister, the youngest of all, sang "lorena" and "juanita"; and mattie paul, who often came over from richmond, infused an intenser tone of sadness with beethoven's andantes and chopin's "funeral march." none of the gayety of richmond, of which we read in our letters, was apparent in petersburg. too many of her sons had been slain or were in present peril.
"what friends you girls are!" i said, when i met them, walking together, like a boarding school.
"we are all going to be old maids together," said one, "and so we are getting acquainted with each other."
"speak for yourself, john," said helen, who had become the fortunate possessor of "the courtship of miles standish" and was lending "longfellow's last" around to the rest. "i spoke for myself, you remember," she added, laughing.
"well! it will be no disgrace to be an old maid," said another. "we can always swear our going-to-be-husband was killed in the war." and then a wistful look passed over the young faces as each one remembered some absent lover.
the camp-fire of my own family brigade was now lighted in the kitchen, where the hero, john, who had been left to take care of me, popped corn for my little boys and held them with stories of fitz lee's pursuit of averill.
"tell us, john," implored his audience, "tell us every bit of it. begin at winchester."
"no," said john. "you'll tell your ma, and then she won't sleep a wink to-night." 260
"she doesn't sleep anyway, john! when we wake up, she's always sitting by the window, looking out at the stars."
"co'se, if that's the case, here goes. gen'al lee had five thousand troopers, an' they marched from winchester to salem. we hadn't a tent, an' no rations wuth talkin' about, an' it rained an' hailed an' sleeted most every step o' the way. your pa never took off his boots for two solid weeks, an' they were full of water all the time, an' the icicles hung from his long hair. we drew up in line at the white sulphur springs an' dar'd averill to fight us—but he slunk away in the night. i cert'inly was sorry for marse roger at the white sulphur. he went up into the po'ch of one of the little cottages an' sat down thinkin' an' thinkin'. 'are you sick, marse roger?' i asked him. 'no, john,' he said, 'only a little homesick, to think of the happy times we used to spend here—and our fathers and mothers before us!' 'but we done drive 'im away!' i say to him, an' he got up and said, 'do you think so, john?' anyway, averill didn't git a chance to sleep in one of them cottages, nor yet to burn it! ther' was a hospital thar' then."
"where did you sleep?" the boys asked.
"who, me? i slep' every night o' my life under the same blanket with your pa, i did. i don' care how tired he was, he never slep' so sound he couldn't hear the snorin'. 'git up, john,' he would say, 'tell that man snorin' that he's burnin'.'" john laughed at the reminiscence. "i've scared many a good soldier that way, an' made him turn over—when 261 the fightin' an' shootin' couldn't move him."
"but you did retreat after all, didn't you, john?"
"retreat! retreat nothin'! gen'al lee got so he didn' care to ketch that scalawag yankee. he warn' wuth ketchin'. we got pris'ners enough now an' to spar. gen'al lee come home cos he didn' have no use for averill. he drove him away, though. he sholy did!"
john was installed as cook and commissary-general. he had no material except flour, rice, peas, and dried apples, such grease or "shortening" as he could extract from bones he purchased of the quartermaster, and sorghum molasses. he made yeast of "life everlasting" i brought from the country,—and he gave us waffles and pancakes. john's pancakes, compared with the ordinary article, were as the fleecy cloud to the dull, heavy clod beneath. butter could be had at eight dollars a pound; meat was four and five dollars a pound—prices we learned very soon afterward to regard as extremely cheap; bargains, indeed, of the first water. from agnes's letters i have reason to suppose that petersburg suffered more from scarcity than did richmond. there, dinners were given by the members of the cabinet, and wine was served as of old. in petersburg we had already entered upon our long season of want. the town was drained by its generous gifts to the army; regiments were constantly passing, and none ever departed without the offer of refreshment.
we heard no complaints from our soldier boys, 262 still in their winter quarters. but a letter to the army from general lee filled our hearts with anxiety.
"headquarters army of northern virginia,
"january 22, 1864.
"general orders no. 7.—the commanding general considers it due to the army to state that the temporary reduction of rations has been caused by circumstances beyond the control of those charged with its support. its welfare and comfort are the objects of his constant and earnest solicitude and no effort has been spared to provide for its wants. it is hoped that the exertions now being made will render the necessity but of short duration, but the history of the army has shown that the country can require no sacrifice too great for its patriotic devotion.
"soldiers! you tread, with no unequal steps, the road by which your fathers marched through suffering, privation, and blood to independence.
"continue to emulate in the future, as you have in the past, their valor in arms, their patient endurance of hardships, their high resolve to be free, which no trial could shake, no bribe seduce, no danger appall; and be assured that the just god who crowned their efforts with success will, in his own good time, send down his blessings upon yours.
"[signed] r. e. lee, general."
calm, strong, fatherly words! they deserve to be printed in letters of gold. they still have power to thrill the souls of the children of the fathers who marched through suffering, privation, and blood to independence,—children who wait, still wait, for the fulfilment of his promise that god will in his own good time send down his blessing upon them. 263
on january the 30th agnes wrote from richmond:—
"how can you be even dreaming of new cups and saucers? mend your old ones, my dear, with white lead. that is what we are doing here; and when the cup is very much broken, the triangular, rectangular, and other 'angular' lines of white give it quite a japanesque effect. there is not a bit of china for sale in the capital of the confederacy. a forlorn little chipped set—twelve odd pieces—sold last week at auction for $200—and as to hats and bonnets! we are washing the old ones and plaiting straw for the new. i'll send you a package of straw i gleaned and dyed for you last summer. did i tell you about that straw? i asked my host at the farmhouse to give me a few sheaves, but he shook his head and opined it would be 'sinful in these hard times to take good vittles and convert it into hats.' i could not see clearly that straw came under the generic term 'vittles'—unless indeed the straw fed the animal that fed the soldier. however, i meekly borrowed a sunbonnet and gleaned my straw. half of it i popped into the kettle of boiling black dye behind the kitchen,—when the lady of the manor was looking another way,—and we will mix the black and white for the boys' hats. but mark the quick and sure grinding of the mills of the gods. after the wheat was all stacked there came a mighty rain with fog and warm mist. one day my host brought in what seemed to be a feathery bouquet of delicate green. it was a bunch of wheat, every grain of which had sprouted. he had lost his crop!
"president and mrs. davis gave a large reception last week, and all the ladies looked positively gorgeous. mrs. davis is in mourning for her father. we should not expect suppers in these times, but we do have them! 264 champagne is $350 a dozen, but we sometimes have champagne! the confectioners charge $15 for a cake, but we have cake. my flounced gray silk is behaving admirably, but i am afraid my washington friends remember it as an old acquaintance. i never go out without meeting them. i have seen dr. garnett and judge scarborough and mr. dimitri on the street, and often meet mr. hunter, running about, in his enthusiasm, like a boy. but what do you think? i never could bear that lord lyons, with his red face and small eyes like ferrets'; and now we have reason to suppose that england would have recognized us but for his animosity against us. he says 'the confederacy is on its last legs.' we have heard from dear old dudley mann; but of course he can do nothing for us in england, and he had as well come home and go with me to receptions. mrs. davis receives every tuesday, and mr. mann is a better squire of dames than he is a diplomat."
my petersburg beauties were all wearing hats of their own manufacture, the favorite style being the alpine with a pointed crown. for trimming, very soft and lovely flowers were made of feathers, the delicate white feather with a tuft of fleecy marabout at its stem. the marabout tuft would be carefully drawn off, to be made into swan's-down trimming. a wire was prepared and covered with green paper for a stem, a little ball of wax fastened on the end, and covered with a tiny tuft of the down for a centre, and around this the feathers were stuck—with incurving petals for apple blossoms and half-open roses,—and reversed for camellias. neatly trimmed and suitably tinted, these flowers were handsome 265 enough for anybody, and were in great demand. cocks' plumes were also used on hats, iridescent, and needing no coloring. with the downy breast of a goose which came into my possession i essayed the making of a powder-puff for my baby, but alas! the oil in the cuticle proved a perennial spring which could not be dried up by soda or sunning, and finally i saw my powder-puff disappearing in a hole, drawn downward by a vigorous and hungry rat.
the young girls who visited me never complained of their privations in the matter of food, but they sorely grieved over their shabby wardrobes.
"i really think," said one, "if we can only get along until we can wear white waists, we shall do very well. every time a white waist is washed it's made new—but these old flannel sacks—ugh!"
one day mary meade made me a visit. always beautiful, her face wore on this afternoon a seraphic, beatific expression.
"tell me, dear," i said, "all about it." i supposed she had heard her lover had been promoted or was coming home on a furlough.
she held up her two hands. "it's just these gloves!" said mary. "i can't help it. they make me perfectly happy! they have just come through the blockade."
the butcher shops were closed, and many of the dry-goods stores; but somebody had ordered a large quantity of narrow crimson woollen braid, and had failed to accept it. we seized upon it. every one of us had garments embroidered with it—in scrolls, maltese crosses, undulating lines, leaves; all of 266 which goes to prove that the desire for ornament is an instinct of our nature, outliving the grosser affections for the good things of the table. the consciousness of being well dressed, we have been told, will afford a peace of mind far exceeding anything to be derived from the comforts of religion.
it had not been many years since every virginia farm owned a house for a great cumbrous loom, with beams supported against the ceiling. the door of the loom-house was again opened, and the weaver installed upon her high bench. cotton cloth was woven and dyed yellow with butternut, black with walnut-bark, gray with willow. a mordant to "set the dye" was unattainable—but at last rusty iron, nails, old horseshoes, old clamps and hinges, were found to be effective. every atom of black silk was a treasure. it was shredded to mix with the cotton before carding. even now the cells of my brain waken at the sight of a bundle of old black silk, and my fingers would fain respond.
pins became scarce. people walked about with downcast eyes; they were looking for pins! thorns were gathered and dried to use as pins. dentists' gold soon disappeared. the generation succeeding the war period had not good teeth. an?sthetics—morphine, chloroform, opium—were contraband of war. this was our great grief. our soldier boys, who had done nothing to bring the war upon the country, must suffer every pang that followed the disasters of battle. the united states gave artificial limbs to its maimed soldiers. ours had only their crutches, and these of rude home manufacture. 267 the blockade-running, for which our women were so much blamed, was often undertaken to bring morphine and medicine to our hospitals. the fashions of the day included a small round cushion worn at the back of a lady's belt, to lift the heavy hoop and many petticoats then in vogue. it was called "a bishop," and was made of silk. these were brought home from "a visit to friends at the north" filled with quinine and morphine. they were examined at the frontier by a long pin stuck through them. if the pin met no resistance, they were allowed to pass.
the famine moved on apace, but its twin sister, fever, never visited us. never had petersburg been so healthy. no garbage was decaying in the streets. every particle of animal or vegetable food was consumed, and the streets were clean. flocks of pigeons would follow the children who were eating bread or crackers. finally the pigeons vanished having been themselves eaten. rats and mice disappeared. the poor cats staggered about the streets, and began to die of hunger. at times meal was the only article attainable except by the rich. an ounce of meat daily was considered an abundant ration for each member of the family. to keep food of any kind was impossible—cows, pigs, bacon, flour, everything, was stolen, and even sitting hens were taken from the nest.
in the presence of such facts as these general lee was able to report that nearly every regiment in his army had re?nlisted—and for the war! and very soon he also reported that the army was out of meat 268 and had but one day's rations of bread. one of our papers copied the following from the mobile advertiser:—
"in general lee's tent meat is eaten but twice a week, the general not allowing it oftener, because he believes indulgence in meat to be criminal in the present straitened condition of the country. his ordinary dinner consists of a head of cabbage boiled in salt water, and a pone of corn bread. having invited a number of gentlemen to dine with him, general lee, in a fit of extravagance, ordered a sumptuous repast of bacon and cabbage. the dinner was served, and behold, a great pile of cabbage and a bit of bacon, or 'middling,' about four inches long and two inches across. the guests, with commendable politeness, unanimously declined the bacon, and it remained in the dish untouched. next day general lee, remembering the delicate titbit which had been so providentially preserved, ordered his servant to bring that 'middling.' the man hesitated, scratched his head, and finally owned up:—
"'marse robert—de fac' is—dat ar middlin' was borrowed middlin'. we-all didn' have no middlin'. i done paid it back to de place whar i got it fum.'
"general lee heaved a sigh of deepest disappointment, and pitched into the cabbage."
no man had ever lived in more comfort, nor was more surrounded by the accessories and appointments of luxury and refinement. his aide, colonel walter taylor, has written me:—
"during the time that general lee was in service he manifested that complete self-abnegation and dislike of parade and ceremony which became characteristic of him. accompanied originally by a staff of but two persons, and, 269 after the death of colonel washington, with but one aide-de-camp, with no escort or body-guard, no couriers or guides, he made the campaign under altogether unostentatious and really uncomfortable circumstances. one solitary tent constituted his headquarters camp; this served for the general and his aide; and when visitors were entertained, as actually occurred, the general shared his blanket with his aide, turning over those of the latter to his guest. his dinner service was of tin,—tin plates, tin cups, tin bowls, everything of tin,—and consequently indestructible; and to the annoyance and disgust of the subordinates who sighed for porcelain could not or would not be lost; indeed, with the help of occasional additions, this tin furniture continued to do service for several campaigns; and it was only in the last year of the war, while the army was around petersburg, that a set of china was surreptitiously introduced into the baggage of the headquarters of the army. this displaced for a time the chaste and elaborate plate; but on resuming 'light marching order' at the time of the evacuation of richmond and petersburg, the china, which had been borrowed by the staff, was returned; the tins were again produced, and did good service until the surrender of the army, when they passed into the hands of individuals who now preserve them as mementos of the greatest commander in the great war."