in times past, wales had peculiar and most interesting, if not excellent, wedding customs, and in no part of the country were these old quaint customs more popular, and survived to a more recent date than in cardiganshire and carmarthenshire. therefore this book would be incomplete without giving a full description of them.

when a young man and a young woman had agreed together to marry “for better for worse,” they were first of all to inform their parents of the important fact. then in due time, the young man’s father, taking a friend with him, proceeded to interview the young woman’s father, so as to have a proper understanding on the subject and to arrange different matters, especially concerning dowry, etc. i am writing more especially of a rural wedding among the farmers.

the young woman’s father would agree to give with his daughter, as her portion, household goods of so much value, a certain sum of money, and so many cows, pigs, etc.; and the young man’s father, on his part, would agree to grant his son so much money, horses, sheep, hay, wheat and other things, so that the young couple might have a good start in the married life, “i ddechreu eu byd,”—to begin their world, as we say in welsh. sometimes the young man’s father on such occasions met with opposition on the part of the young woman’s father or mother or other relations, at least we read that it happened so in the case of the heir of ffynonbedr, near lampeter, long ago; for it seems that when he tried to secure the daughter of dyffryn llynod, in the parish of llandyssul, as his bride, the reply was in welsh rhyme as follow:—

“deunaw gwr a deunaw cledde,

deunaw gwas yn gwisgo lifre,

deunaw march o liw’r scythanod,

cyn codi’r ferch o ddyffryn llynod.”

anglicised, this meant that she could not be secured without coming for her with eighteen gentlemen bearing eighteen swords; eighteen servants wearing livery; and eighteen horses of the colour of the woodpigeon. [17]

but such opposition was not often to be met with.

after the parents had arranged these matters satisfactorily, the next preliminary and important step was to send forth a gwahoddwr, or bidder, from house to house, to bid or invite the guests to the bidding and the wedding.

in connection with these old interesting customs, there were the bidding or invitation to the wedding; the bidder, whose duty it was formally to invite the guests; the ystafell, or the bride’s goods and presents; the purse and girdle; the pwython; and the neithior.

the bidding was a general invitation to all the friends of the bride and bridegroom-elect to meet them at the houses of their respective parents or any other house appointed for the occasion. all were welcomed to attend, even a stranger who should happen to be staying in the neighbourhood at the time, but it was an understood thing that every person who did attend, whether male or female, contributed something, however small, in order to make a purse for the young couple, who, on the other hand, naturally expected donations from those whose weddings they had attended themselves. so it was to the advantage of the bride and bridegroom-elect to make their wedding as public as possible, as the greater the number of guests, the greater the donation, so it was the custom to send the “gwahoddwr,” or bidder all round the surrounding districts to invite the neighbours and friends about three weeks, more or less, before the wedding took place. the banns were, of course, published as in england.

the gwahoddwr or bidder’s circuit was one of the most pleasant and merry features of the rural weddings in south wales in times past, and he was greeted everywhere, especially when it happened that he was, as such often was the case, a merry wag with fluent speech and a poet; but it was necessary that he should be a real friend to the young couple on whose behalf he invited the guests. this important wedding official as he went from house to house, carried a staff of office in his hand, a long pole, or a white wand, as a rule a willow-wand, from which the bark had been peeled off. this white stick was decorated with coloured ribbons plying at the end of it; his hat also, and often his breast was gaily decorated in a similar manner.

the gwahoddwr, thus attired, knocked at the door of each guest and entered the house amidst the smiles of the old people and the giggling of the young. then he would take his stand in the centre of the house, and strike the floor with his staff to enforce [18]silence, and announce the wedding, and the names of bride and bridegroom-elect, their place of abode, and enumerate the great preparations made to entertain the guests, etc. as a rule, the gwahoddwr made this announcement in a set speech of prose, and often repeated a rhyme also on the occasion.

the following was the speech of a gwahoddwr in llanbadarn fawr, cardiganshire in 1762, quoted in meyrick’s “history of cardiganshire,” from the miscellaneous papers of mr. lewis morris:—

“speech of the bidder in llanbadarn fawr, 1762.”

“the intention of the bidder is this; with kindness and amity, with decency and liberality for einion owain and llio ellis, he invites you to come with your good will on the plate; bring current money; a shilling, or two, or three, or four, or five; with cheese and butter. we invite the husband and wife, and children, and man-servants, and maid-servants, from the greatest to the least. come there early, you shall have victuals freely, and drink cheap, stools to sit on, and fish if we can catch them; but if not, hold us excusable; and they will attend on you when you call upon them in return. they set out from such a place to such a place.”

the following which appeared in a welsh quarterly “y beirniad,” for july, 1878, gives a characteristic account of a typical bidder of a much later date in carmarthenshire:—

“am tomos fel gwahoddwr, yr wyf yn ei weled yn awr o flaen llygaid fy meddwl.

“dyn byr, llydan, baglog, yn gwisgo coat o frethyn lliw yr awyr, breeches penglin corduog, gwasgod wlanen fraith, a rhuban glas yn hongian ar ei fynwes, yn dangos natur ei swydd a’i genadwri dros y wlad a dramwyid ganddo; hosanau gwlan du’r ddafad am ei goesau, a dwy esgid o ledr cryf am ei draed; het o frethyn garw am ei ben haner moel; dwy ffrwd felingoch o hylif y dybaco yn ymlithro dros ei en; pastwn cryf a garw yn ei ddeheulaw. cerddai yn mlaen i’r ty lle y delai heb gyfarch neb, tarawai ei ffon deirgwaith yn erbyn y llawr, tynai ei het a gosodai hi dan y gesail chwith, sych besychai er clirio ei geg, a llefarai yn debyg i hyn:—‘at wr a gwraig y ty, y plant a’r gwasanaethyddion, a phawb o honoch sydd yma yn cysgu ac yn codi. ‘rwy’n genad ac yn wahoddwr dros john jones o’r bryntirion, a mary davies o bantyblodau; ‘rwy’n eich gwahodd yn hen ac yn ifanc i daith a phriodas y par ifanc yna a enwais, y rhai sydd yn priodi dydd mercher, tair wythnos i’r nesaf, yn eglwys llansadwrn. bydd [19]y gwr ifanc a’i gwmp’ni yn codi ma’s y bore hwnw o dy ei dad a’i fam yn bryntirion, plwyf llansadwrn; a’r ferch ifanc yn codi ma’s y bore hwnw o dy ei thad a’i mam, sef pantyblodau, yn mhlwyf llanwrda. bydd gwyr y “shigouts” yn myned y bore hwnw dros y mab ifanc i ‘mofyn y ferch ifanc; a bydd y mab ifanc a’i gwmp’ni yn cwrdd a’r ferch ifanc a’i chwmp-ni wrth ben heolgelli, a byddant yno ar draed ac ar geffylau yn myned gyda’r par ifanc i gael eu priodi yn eglwys llansadwrn. wedi hyny bydd y gwr a’r wraig ifanc, a chwmp’ni y bobol ifanc, yn myned gyda’u gilydd i dy y gwr a’r wraig ifanc, sef llety’r gofid, plwyf talyllechau, lle y bydd y gwr ifanc, tad a mam y gwr ifanc, a daniel jones, brawd y gwr ifanc, a jane jones, chwaer y gwr ifanc, yn dymuno am i bob rhoddion a phwython dyledus iddynt hwy gael eu talu y prydnawn hwnw i law y gwr ifanc; a bydd y gwr ifanc a’i dad a’i fam, a’i frawd a’i chwaer, dafydd shon william evan, ewyrth y gwr ifanc, yn ddiolchgar am bob rhoddion ychwanegol a welwch yn dda eu rhoddi yn ffafr y gwr ifanc ar y diwrnod hwnw.

“‘hefyd, bydd y wraig ifanc, yn nghyd a’i thad a’i mam, dafydd a gwenllian davies, yn nghyd a’i brodyr a’i chwiorydd, y wraig ifanc a dafydd william shinkin dafydd o’r cwm, tadcu y wraig ifanc, yn galw mewn bob rhoddion a phwython, dyledus iddynt hwy, i gael eu talu y prydnawn hwnw i law y gwr a’r wraig ifanc yn llety’r gofid. y mae’r gwr a’r wraig ifanc a’r hwyaf fo byw, yn addo talu ’nol i chwithau bob rhoddion a weloch yn dda eu rhoddi i’r tylwyth ifanc, pryd bynag y bo galw, tae hyny bore dranoeth, neu ryw amser arall.’”

rendered into english the above reads as follows:—

“i can see thomas, in the capacity of a gwahoddwr,—bidder,—before me now in my mind’s eye. a short man, broad, clumsy, wearing a coat of sky-blue cloth, corduroy breeches to the knee, a motley woollen waistcoat, and a blue ribbon hanging on his breast, indicating the nature of his office and message through the country which he tramped; black-woollen stockings on his legs, and two strong leathern boots on his feet; a hat made of rough cloth on his half-bare head; two yellow-red streams of tobacco moisture running down his chin; a rough, strong staff in his right hand. he walked into the house he came to without saluting any one, and struck the floor three times with his staff, took off his hat, and put it under his left arm, and having coughed in order to clear his throat, he delivered himself somewhat as follows:— [20]

“to the husband and wife of the house, the children and the servants, and all of you who are here sleeping and getting up. i am a messenger and a bidder for john jones of bryntirion and mary davies of pantyblodau; i beg to invite you, both old and young, to the bidding and wedding of the young couple i have just mentioned, who intend to marry on wednesday, three weeks to the next, at llansadwrn church. the young man and his company on that morning will be leaving his father and mother’s house at bryntirion, in the parish of llansadwrn; and the young woman will be leaving that same morning from the house of her father and mother, that is pantyblodau, in the parish of llanwrda. on that morning the shigouts (seekouts) men will go on behalf of the young man to seek for the young woman; and the young man and his company will meet the young woman and her company at the top of heolgelli, and there they will be, on foot and on horses, going with the young couple who are to be married at llansadwrn church. after that, the young husband and wife, and the young people’s company, will be going together to the house of the young husband and wife, to wit, llety’r gofid, in the parish of tally, where the young man, the young man’s father and mother, and daniel jones, brother of the young man, and jane jones, the young man’s sister, desire that all donations and pwython due to them be paid that afternoon to the hands of the young man; and the young man, his father and mother, his brother and sister, and dafydd shon william evan, uncle of the young man, will be very thankful for every additional gifts you will be pleased to give in favour of the young man that day.

“also, the young wife, together with her father and mother, dafydd and gwenllian davies, together with her brothers and sisters, the young wife and dafydd william shinkin dafydd of cwm, the young wife’s grandfather, desire that all donations and pwython, due to them, be paid that afternoon to the hand of the young husband and wife at llety’r gofid.

“the young husband and wife and those who’ll live the longest, do promise to repay you every gift you will be pleased to give to the young couple, whenever called upon to do so, should that happen next morning or at any other time?”

the bidder then repeated in welsh a most comic and humorous song for the occasion.

another well-known “gwahoddwr,” or bidder in cardiganshire was an old man named stephen, who flourished at the end of the eighteenth, and the beginning of the nineteenth century.

he was commonly known as stephen wahoddwr, or stephen the bidder, and concerning whom the celebrated poet “daniel ddu o geredigion,” wrote to the “cambrian briton,” in march, 1822, as follows:—

“there is an old man in this neighbourhood of the name of stephen, employed in the vocation of ‘gwahoddwr,’ who displayed, in my hearing, so much comic talent and humour in the recitation of his bidding-song (which he complained, was, by repetition, become uninteresting to his auditors) as to induce me to furnish him with some kind of fresh matter. my humble composition, adapted, in language and conceptions, as far as i could make it, to common taste and capacities, this man now delivers in his rounds; and i send it you as a specimen of a bidder’s song, hoping that your readers will be in some measure amused by its perusal:—

“dydd da i chwi, bobl, o’r hynaf i’r baban,

mae stephan wahoddwr a chwi am ymddiddan,

gyfeillion da mwynaidd, os felly’ch dymuniad,

cewch genyf fy neges yn gynhes ar gariad.

y mae rhyw greadur trwy’r byd yn grwydredig,

nis gwn i yn hollol ai glanwedd ai hyllig,

ag sydd i laweroedd yn gwneuthur doluriad,

ar bawb yn goncwerwr, a’i enw yw cariad.

yr ifanc yn awchus wna daro fynycha’,

a’i saeth trwy ei asen mewn modd truenusa’;

ond weithiau a’i fwa fe ddwg yn o fuan

o dan ei lywodraeth y rhai canol oedran.

[22]

weithiau mae’n taro yn lled annaturiol,

nes byddant yn babwyr yn wir yr hen bobl,

mi glywais am rywun a gas yn aflawen

y bendro’n ei wegil yn ol pedwar ugain.

a thyma’r creadur trwy’r byd wrth garwyro

a d’rawodd y ddeu-ddyn wyf trostynt yn teithio,

i hel eich cynorthwy a’ch nodded i’w nerthu,

yn ol a gewch chwithau pan ddel hwn i’ch brathu.

ymdrechwch i ddala i fyny yn ddilys,

bawb oll yr hen gystwm, nid yw yn rhy gostus—

sef rhoddi rhyw sylltach, rai ‘nol eu cysylltu,

fe fydd y gwyr ifainc yn foddgar o’u meddu.

can’ brynu rhyw bethau yn nghyd gan obeithio

byw yn o dawel a’u plant yn blodeuo;

dwyn bywyd mor ddewis wrth drin yr hen ddaear,

a brenhin y saeson, neu gynt yr hen sesar.

can’s nid wyf i’n meddwl mae golud a moddion

sy’n gwneuthur dedwyddwch, dyweden hwy wedo’n;

mae gofid i’r dynion, sy’n byw mewn sidanau,

gwir mae’r byd hawsaf yw byw heb ddim eisiau.

‘roedd brenhin mawr lloegr a’i wraig yn alluog,

a chig yn eu crochan, ond eto’n byw’n ‘ysgrechog;

pe cawsai y dwliaid y gaib yn eu dwylo,

yr wyf yn ystyried y buasai llai stwrio.

cynal rhyw gweryl yr aent am y goron,

ac ymladd a’u gilydd a hyny o’r galon;

‘rwy’n barod i dyngu er cymaint eu hanghen

nad o’ent hwy mor ddedwydd a stephen a madlen.

yr wyf yn attolwg i bob un o’r teulu,

i gofio fy neges wyf wedi fynegu;

rhag i’r gwr ifanc a’i wraig y pryd hyny,

os na chan’ ddim digon ddweyd mai fi fu’n diogi.

chwi gewch yno roeso, ‘rwy’n gwybod o’r hawsaf,

a bara chaws ddigon, onide mi a ddigiaf,

caiff pawb eu hewyllys, dybacco, a phibelli,

a diod hoff ryfedd, ‘rwyf wedi ei phrofi.

gwel’d digrif gwmpeini wy’n garu’n rhagorol,

nid gwiw ini gofio bob amser ei gofol;

mae amser i gwyno mae amser i ganu,

gwir yw mae hen hanes a ddywed in’ hyny.

cwpanau da fawrion a dynion difyrus,

i mi sy’n rhyw olwg o’r hen amser hwylus;

ac nid wyf fi’n digio os gwaeddi wna rhywun,

yn nghornel y ‘stafell, “a yfwch chwi, styfyn?”

dydd da i chwi weithian, mae’n rhaid i mi deithio

dros fryniau, a broydd, a gwaunydd, dan gwyno;

gan stormydd tra awchus, a chan y glaw uchel,

caf lawer cernod, a chwithau’n y gornel.”

the above has been translated into english by one mair arfon as follows, and appeared in “cymru fu,” cardiff, august 9th, 1888:— [23]

“here’s stephen the bidder! good day to you all,

to baby and daddy, old, young, great and small;

good friends if you like, in a warm poet’s lay

my message to you i’ll deliver to-day.

some creature there is who roams the world through

working mischief to many and joy to a few,

but conquering all, whether hell or above

be his home, i am not certain; his name though is love.

the young he most frequently marks as his game,

strikes them straight through the heart with an unerring aim;

though the middle age, too, if he gets in his way,

with his bow he will cover and bend to his sway.

and sometimes the rogue with an aim somewhat absurd,

makes fools of old people. indeed, i have heard

of one hapless wight, who, though over four score,

he hit in the head, making one victim more.

and this is the creature, who, when on his way

through the world, struck the couple in whose cause to-day,

i ask for your help and your patronage, too;

and they’ll give you back when he comes to bite you.

and now let each one of us struggle to keep

the old custom up, so time-honoured and cheap;

of jointly, or singly, some small trifle giving,

to start the young pair on their way to a living.

they’ll buy a few things, with a confidence clear,

of living in peace as their children they rear;

stealing and content, out of mother earth’s hand,

blest as c?sar of old, or the king of our land.

i do not consider that riches or gold

ensure contentment; a wise man of old

tells us men in soft raiment of grief have their share,

and a life without wants is the lightest to bear.

once a great english king1 and his talented wife,

though they had meat in their pan, led a bickering life;

were the dullards compelled to work, him and her,

with a hoe in their hands it would lessen their stir.

the quarrel arose from some fight for the crown

and at it they went like some cats of renown;

and although we are poor, i am ready to swear

that stephen and madlen are freer from care.

now let me impress on this whole family,

to think on the message delivered by me;

lest the youth and his wife, through not getting enough,

should say that my idleness caused lack of stuff.

a welcome you’ll get there i guarantee you,

with bread and cheese plenty, and prime beer, too;

i know, for i have tried it, and everybody there

can have ‘bacco and pipes enough and to spare.

it delights me a jovial assembly to see,

for it is wiser sometimes to forget misery;

there are times for complaining and song, too we’re told,

in the proverb of old, which is true as it’s old.

a bumping big cup and a lot of bright men,

bring before me the jolly old times o’er again,

and i wouldn’t be angry if some one now even

would shout from some corner “will you have a glass stephen?”

[24]

good day to you now, for away i must hie,

over mountains and hillocks with often a sigh,

exposed as i am to keen storms, rain, and sleet,

while you cosily sit in your warm corner seat.”

another well-known gwahoddwr about 50 years ago was thomas parry, who lived at the small village of pontshan in the parish of llandyssul. a short time ago, when i was staying in that neighbourhood in quest for materials for my present work, i came across a few old people who well-remembered him, especially mr. thomas evans, gwaralltyryn, and the rev. t. thomas, j.p., greenpark, both of whom, as well as one or two others, told me a good deal about him.

like a good many of the gwahoddwyr or bidders, he seemed to have been a most eccentric character, of a ready wit and full of humour, especially when more or less under the influence of a glass of ale. mr. rees jones, pwllffein, a poet of considerable repute in the vale of cletwr, composed for t. parry, a “can y gwahoddwr,” or the bidder’s song, which song in a very short time, became most popular in that part of cardiganshire, and the adjoining districts of carmarthenshire. this parry the bidder, whenever he was sent by those intending to marry, went from house to house, through the surrounding districts, proclaiming the particulars, and inviting all to the bidding and the weddings, and he was greeted with smiles wherever he went, especially by the young men and young women, who always looked forward to a wedding with great delight, as it was an occasion for so much merriment and enjoyment, and where lovers and sweethearts met. food was set before the gwahoddwr almost in every house, bread and cheese and beer, so that it is not to be wondered at that he felt a bit merry before night. he tramped through his circuit through storms and rain, but like most bidders, he was but poorly paid, so he was often engaged as a mole trapper as well.

on one occasion, he had set down a trap in a neighbouring field in the evening expecting to find a mole entrapped in it next morning. next morning came, and off went the old man to see the trap, but when he arrived on the spot, to his great surprise, instead of a mole in the trap, there was a fish in it! the famous entrapper of moles could not imagine how a fish could get into a trap on dry land, but he found out afterwards that some mischievous boys had been there early in the morning before him, who, to have a bit of fun at the expense of the old man, had taken out the mole from the trap and put a fish in it instead.

thus we see that the modern gwahoddwr was generally a poor man; but in the old times, on the other hand, he was a [25]person of importance, skilled in pedigrees and family traditions, and himself of good family; for, undoubtedly, these old wedding customs which have survived in some localities in cardiganshire and carmarthenshire and other parts of wales even down almost to the present time, are of a very ancient origin, coming down even from the time of the druids, and this proves the wisdom and knowledge of the original legislators of the celtic tribes; for they were instituted in order to encourage wedlock so as to increase the population of the country, and to repair the losses occasioned by plagues and wars. a chieftain would frequently assume the character of a bidder on behalf of his vassal, and hostile clans respected his person as he went about from castle to castle, or from mansion to mansion.

old people who well remember the time when the quaint old wedding customs were very general throughout west wales, informed me that it was in some localities the custom sometimes to have two or more gwahoddwyr to invite to the wedding; this was especially the case when the bride and bridegroom-elect did not reside in the same part of the country; for it happened sometimes that the young man engaged to be married lived in a certain part of carmarthenshire, whilst his bride perhaps lived some way off in cardiganshire or pembrokeshire.

in such cases it was necessary to appoint two bidders, one for the young man, and another for the young woman, to go round the respective districts in which each of them lived.

an old man in carmarthenshire informed me that many years ago a friend of his, a farmer in the parish of llanycrwys married a young lady from pencarreg, two bidders were sent forth to tramp the country; one going round the parish of llanycrwys where the bridegroom lived, and the other’s circuit was the parish of pencarreg, the native parish of the bride.

another custom in some places, especially round llandyssul and llangeler, which took place before appointing the gwahoddwr, was for the neighbours and friends to come together of an evening to the house of the bride or bridegroom’s parents, or any other place fixed upon for that purpose. on such occasion a good deal of drinking home-brewed beer was indulged in, “er lles y par ifanc,” that is, for the benefit of the young couple. all the profit made out of this beer drinking at a private house went to the young man and the young woman as a help to begin their married life. at such a meeting also very often the day of the wedding was fixed, and the bidder appointed, and should he happen to be an inexperienced one he was urged to repeat his bidding speech [26]before the company present, in order to test him whether he had enough wit and humour to perform his office satisfactorily in going round to invite to the wedding.

when the young people engaged to be married were sons and daughters of well-to-do farmers, it was the custom to send by this bidder in his rounds, a circular letter, or a written note in english; and this note or circular in course of time became so fashionable that the occupation of a bidder gradually fell to decay; that is, it became a custom to send a circular letter instead of a bidder. the following bidding letter, which is not a fictitious one, but a real document, appeared in an interesting book, entitled “the vale of towy,” published in 1844:—

“being betrothed to each other, we design to ratify the plighted vow by entering under the sanction of wedlock; and as a prevalent custom exists from time immemorial amongst “plant y cymry” of making a bidding on the occurrence of a hymeneal occasion, we have a tendency to the manner of the oulden tyme, and incited by friends as well as relations to do the same, avail ourselves of this suitableness of circumstances of humbly inviting your agreeable and pleasing presence on thursday, the 29th day of december next, at mr. shenkin’s, in the parish of llangathen, and whatever your propensities then feel to grant will meet with an acceptance of the most grateful with an acknowledgement of the most warmly, carefully registered, and retaliated with promptitude and alacrity, whenever an occurrence of a similar nature present itself, by

“your most obedient servants,

william howells,

sarah lewis.

“the young man, with his father and mother (david and ann howells), his brother (john howells), and his cousin (edward howells), desire that all claims of the above nature due to them be returned to the young man on the above day, and will feel grateful for the bestowments of all kindness conferred upon him.

“the young woman, with her father and mother (thomas and letice lewis), her sisters (elizabeth and margaret lewis), and her cousins (william and mary morgan), desire that all claims of the above nature due to them be returned to the young woman on the above day, and will feel grateful for the bestowments of all kindness conferred upon her.”

the following bidding letter i copied from an old manuscript in possession of that eminent antiquarian, the rev. d. h. davies, [27]once vicar of cenarth, but who lives at present at newcastle emlyn:—

“to mr. griffith jenkins.

“sir,—as my daughter’s bidding is fixed to be the eighth day of february next, i humbly beg the favour of your good company according to custom, on the occasion, which shall be most gratefully acknowledged and retaliated by

“yours most obedient and humble servant,

joshua jones.

“penrallt,

jan. 23rd, 1770.”

the following also is another specimen of such circular, a copy of which came into my possession through the kindness of the esteemed lady, mrs. webley-tyler, glanhelig, near cardigan:—

“february 1, 1841.

“as we intend to enter the matrimonial state, on thursday, the 11th day of february instant, we purpose to make a bidding on the occasion, the same day, at the young woman’s father and mother’s house, called llechryd mill; when and where the favour of your good company is most humbly solicited, and whatever donation you will be pleased to confer on us that day, will be thankfully received and cheerfully repaid whenever called for on a similar occasion,

“by your obedient humble servants,

john stephens,

ann davies.

“the young man’s father and mother (john and elizabeth stephens, pen’rallt-y-felin), together with his brother (david stephens), desire that all gifts of the above nature due to them be returned to the young man, on the said day, and will be thankful for all favours granted.—also the young woman’s father and mother (david and hannah davies, llechryd mill), desire that all gifts of the above nature due to them, be returned to the young woman on the said day, and will be thankful for all favours granted.”

the day before the wedding was once allotted to bringing home the “ystafell,” or household goods and furniture, of the young couple; but these customs varied considerably in different parts of the country. the furniture of the bride, as a rule, consisted of a feather bed and bed clothes, one or two large oaken chests to keep clothes in, and a few other things; and it was customary for the bridegroom to find or provide tables, chairs, bedstead, and a dresser. the dresser was perhaps the most interesting relic of [28]family property, and is still to be seen in welsh farm-houses, and is greatly valued as a thing which has been an heirloom in the family for generations. it consists of two or more stages, and the upper compartments, which are open, are always decked with specimens of useful and ornamental old welsh ware, which are getting very rare now, and people offer a high price for them as curiosities.

it was also customary on the same day for the young man and the young woman to receive gifts of various kinds, such as money, flour, cheese, butter, bacon, hens, and sometimes even a cow or a pig, also a good many useful things for house-keeping. this was called “pwrs a gwregys”—a purse and a girdle. but these gifts were to be re-paid when demanded on similar occasions; and, upon a refusal, were even recoverable by law; and sometimes this was done.

about a hundred years ago, and previous to that date, the day before the wedding, as a rule, was allotted to the “ystafell,” or bringing home of the furniture, etc.; but more recently it became the custom to appoint a day for that purpose at other times in some districts, that is, it took place whenever the young married couple went to live at a house of their own; this would be perhaps three or six months after the wedding. in wales it is very common to see a young married couple among the farmers remaining with the parents of the young man, or with the young wife’s parents until it is a convenient time for them to take up a farm of their own.

i have already noticed that these customs varied in different parts of the country. in some districts, the day preceding the wedding was a great time for feasting, whilst in other localities people came together to drink for the benefit of the young couple, and when cakes were prepared for the neithior which was to follow the wedding on the next day.

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the wedding day.

at the present time, welsh people marry on any day of the week, but about fifty years ago wednesday was a favourite day in some places, and friday in other places. i am writing more especially, of course, of west wales. indeed, in some parishes old men informed me that when they were young they did not remember any one marrying, except on a friday. this fact, undoubtedly, is likely to surprise many english readers, who regard friday as an unlucky day for anything.

meyrick, writing about one hundred years ago in his history of cardiganshire, says saturday was the wedding day, and other writers mention the same thing, and it is evident that saturday [29]was the day on which most people did marry, except in a few districts, about three generations ago, as well as in older times. whether this day, that is, saturday, was commonly fixed upon from a belief that it was a lucky day for marriage, or from the convenience of sunday intervening between it and a working day, is rather difficult to know, but it seems that the following old english marrying rhyme was either unknown to the welsh, or that they did not give heed to it:—

to marry on

“monday wealth, tuesday for health,

wednesday the best day of all;

thursday for crosses, friday for losses,

saturday no luck at all!”

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the horse wedding.

the rural weddings in south wales until very recently were horse weddings; that is, it was the custom of the whole party, both men and women to ride, and generally at full speed. poor people generally managed to obtain the loan of horses for the happy occasion from their richer neighbours. on the wedding morning the invited guests, both men and women, married and unmarried, came on their horses and ponies, some of them from a long distance. the men proceeded to the bridegroom’s house, about a hundred or a hundred and fifty in number and honourably paid their pwython; whilst the women at the same time went to the house of the bride, and paid to her their pwython.

“pwython” was the term used in connection with these weddings to denote the gifts presented to the young bride and bridegroom respectively, in return for what the invited guests themselves had received on the occasion of their own weddings from the young man and the young woman, or their relations or friends. of course, a large number of those who gave gifts were young and unmarried, so that they were not all under an obligation to give; but still they gave, and they were expected to give to help the young couple, and by so giving, they were placing the latter under an obligation to them in the future, that is, in such cases, the giver gave under the expectation of receiving back gifts of equal value, whenever his or her own, or one of his or her relations’ wedding took place, even should that happen on the very next day.

after depositing their offerings and taking something to eat, it was then the custom for ten, twelve, or sometimes even twenty young men, headed by a bard, a harper, or some fluent speaker, to mount their horses, and drive away full speed in the direction of the bride’s house to demand her in marriage for the bridegroom. [30]but on the morning of the wedding, the young woman, that is, the bride-elect, was not to be got possession of without much trouble and argument, and searching. when the bridegroom’s procession halted at the house of the bride’s parents, the leader of the party, finding the door barred against their entrance, would formally demand the bride, generally in rhyme appropriate to the occasion, delivered something as follows:—

“open windows, open doors,

and with flowers strew the floors;

heap the hearth with blazing wood,

load the spit with festal food;

the “crochon2” on its hook be placed,

and tap a barrel of the best!

for this is catty’s wedding day!

now bring the fair one out, i pray.”

then one of the bride’s party from within made a reply as follows, with the door still closed:—

“who are ye all? ye noisy train!

be ye thieves or honest men?

tell us now what brings you here,

or this intrusion will cost you dear?”

then the one from without rejoins:—

“honest men are we, who seek

a dainty maid both fair and meek,

very good and very pretty,

and known to all by name of catty;

we come to claim her for a bride;

come, father, let the fair be tied

to him who loves her ever well.”

the one within again answers:—

“so ye say, but time will tell;

my daughter’s very well at home

so ye may pack and homeward roam.”

again the one without exclaims in resolute tones:—

“your home no more she’s doomed to share

like every marriageable fair,

her father’s roof she quits for one

where she is mistress; wooed and won.

it now remains to see her wedded,

and homeward brought and safely bedded.

unless you give her up, we swear

the roof from off your house to tear,

burst in the doors and batter walls,

to rescue her whom wedlock calls.”

another of the bridegroom’s party then calls aloud, in a voice of authority:—

“ho! peace in the king’s name, here, peace!

let vaunts and taunting language cease;

while we the bridesmen, come to sue

the favour to all bridesmen due,

the daughter from the father’s hand,

and entertainment kindly bland.”

the above rhyme appeared in “adventures of twm shon catty.” there are a good many such verses composed for, or at such occasion, still extant in the welsh language. [31]

the party without and the party within feigned to abuse one another in such rhymes for an hour, more sometimes, till their wit was exhausted, but the whole performance was nothing but innocent fun, and the doors are opened in the end, and the bridegroom’s party are admitted into the house; but even then the trouble is not always over, for it was the custom for the bride to hide herself, when search would be made for her everywhere under the tables, beds, behind the doors and every corner in the house, and at last found, perhaps, under the disguise of a young man smoking his pipe, or of a “granny” knitting in the corner.

whoever discovered the bride received a pint of beer and a cake as a prize in some places. all these things were done for fun or amusement, but i heard of one young woman at least, who was hiding in real earnest, and could not be found.

an old farmer near carmarthen, griffiths, of rhenallt, who is 96 years of age, informed me about five years ago, that he once heard his father mention of a man called “dafydd y llether,” a butcher near alltwalis, who was disappointed in this manner. this happened about 100 years ago. this butcher was engaged to be married to a farmer’s daughter who lived in the parish of llanllwni, about eight miles off, and had made all preparations for the wedding. when the wedding morning dawned, dafydd and his neighbours and friends, about one hundred in number, mounted their horses at alltwalis, and galloped away full speed to llanllwni, and having arrived at the house of the young bride’s parents, search was made for her everywhere, but she was nowhere to be found. at last the young man and his friends had to return home without finding her in great disappointment! the young woman’s parents had prevailed upon her not to marry the young man, “because” added the old man to me “he was too much of a jolly boy.” so they had contrived between them to hide her where she could not be found on the wedding morning.

but, to proceed with our account of the old wedding customs, it was the practice after finding the hidden bride, and partaking of a little refreshments, for the wedding party to mount their horses, and they were joined by the bridegroom and his friends, and made their way towards the church. the young woman was mounted on a fine and swift horse; but often she had to be content to be mounted behind her father, or a brother or a friend; and when the latter was the case, she had to sit on crupper without any pillion, and holding fast to the man. then the whole cavalcade would gallop off to church. but during the procession the bride was seized suddenly by one of her relatives or friends, [32]stolen away and borne off to a distance. however, this feigned attempt to run away with her was done only in sport. then a chase ensued, when the bridegroom and his friends drove after her like madmen till they caught her and took her to church. the driving was so furious on such occasions that legs and arms were sometimes broken. mr. d. jones in his interesting welsh book on the history of the parish of llangeler, says that in the year 1844, at the wedding of dinah, daughter of the rev. thomas jones, saron, one james evans, the groom of the late colonel lewes, drove so furiously that his horse struck against a wall with the result that both the animal and its rider were killed on the spot, near llangeler church! in consequence of such a melancholy event the horse wedding was discontinued in that part of the country, through the influence of the vicar, the rev. john griffiths, who preached against the practice from ii. kings, chap. ix. verse 20 ... “and the driving is like the driving of jehu the son of nimshi; for he driveth furiously.”

the following account of a horse wedding appeared in “the folk lore of north wales” by the late rev. elias owen, f.s.a., whose informant was the rev. canon griffith jones, who witnessed the wedding, which took place at tregaron, cardiganshire. we are told that “the friends of both the young people were on horseback, and according to custom they presented themselves at the house of the young woman, the one to escort her to the church, and the other to hinder her from going there. the friends of the young man were called “gwyr shegouts.” when the young lady was mounted, she was surrounded by the “gwyr shegouts,” and the cavalcade started. all went on peaceably until a lane was reached, down which the lady bolted, and here the struggle commenced, for her friends dashed between her and her husband’s friends and endeavoured to force them back, and thus assist her to escape. the parties, mr. jones said, rode furiously and madly, and the struggle presented a cavalry charge, and it was not without much apparent danger that the opposition was overcome, and the lady ultimately forced to proceed to the church, where her future husband was anxiously awaiting her arrival.”

the lord bishop of huron, a native of cardiganshire, writing to me from canada, november 17th., 1909, says:—“i remember a wedding once when all the guests were on horse-back and there was a hunt for the bride. there could be no wedding till the bride was caught, and, oh the wild gallop over hill and dale till she was taken captive and led to the altar! the last wedding of that kind to which i refer took place about 45 years ago. the [33]daughter of mr. morgan (i think) of maestir, near lampeter, or his intended wife being the bride. a very severe accident happened to the bride and that ended the custom in that neighbourhood.”

although such things as i have already said were done for sport, yet i have heard of a few cases in which the bride was borne away in earnest, and disappeared willingly in company of an old lover of hers, to the intense astonishment and disappointment of the bridegroom, who happened to be her parents’ choice, and not her own. in this case, the custom of a feigned attempt to run away with the bride had in some respects served its original purpose; for, undoubtedly, the origin of the custom of hiding, running away with, and capturing the bride could be traced back to those barbarous times when marriage by capture was a common practice. thus in the mabinogion, we find that when a king named kilydd, after being for some time a widower, wanted to marry again, one of his counsellors said to him, “i know a wife that will suit thee well, and she is the wife of king dogel.” and they resolved to go and seek her; and they slew the king and brought away his wife. when his son also named kilhwch wanted a wife, he went to demand her from her father yspaddaden pencawr, the giant, and obtained her at last after many adventures, and the help of arthur and his men. it is probable that when the celtic tribes had settled in britain that they often obtained a wife by capturing her from the aborigines.

this calls to mind the strategy of romulus to secure wives for his soldiers by directing them at a given signal to seize sabine maidens and run off with them whilst the men were busy in looking at the games.

another singular instance of wife snatching in ancient times is to be found in the book of judges, for when the men of the tribe of benjamin were in difficulty in obtaining wives for themselves, their elders commanded them to “go and lie in wait in the vineyards; and see, and behold, if the daughters of shiloh come out to dance in dances, then come ye out of the vineyards, and catch you every man his wife of the daughters of shiloh, and go to the land of benjamin,.... and the children of benjamin did so, and took them wives, according to their number, of them that danced, whom they caught.” judges xxi., verses 20, 21, and 23.

it seems that some kind of horse weddings is in vogue among the calmucians, even at the present day, the young woman is first mounted on her horse and drives off full speed, then the young man, who is her intended, mounts and chases her, and [34]when he catches her he can claim her as his wife on the spot; but should she escape him, he cannot claim her. i well remember when i lived in the welsh colony of patagonia, about 20 years ago, that it was a very common custom for a young man and a young woman when in love, to mount their steeds and take a long ride of 20 miles or more in each other’s company, and whilst driving along together in such manner words of love were often whispered. also when a wedding took place, the guests went to it on their horses, but the old custom of driving after, and capturing the bride was not observed.

horse weddings were very general in west wales about sixty years ago, and even twenty years ago in some districts, but i doubt whether the custom has been continued at the present day in any part of the country. in the chase after the bride it was supposed that whoever caught her would be married without doubt within a year from that date, so it is not to be wondered at that young men drove so furiously on such occasions.

as soon as the marriage ceremony was over in church, it was once the custom for a harper in the churchyard to play “merch megan,” “mentra gwen,” “morwynion glan meirionydd,” or some other beautiful old welsh air appropriate to the occasion.

it was also customary in some places, especially in the northern part of cardiganshire, for a certain number of young men to mount their steeds immediately after the ceremony, and drive off full speed, for the first who reached the house of the newly-married couple was to receive a quart of beer and a silk pocket handkerchief, especially if the young husband and wife were well-to-do.

the ceremony at the church being over, all the company joined and returned to the young couple’s house, where dinner was provided. on their return journey again, as in going to church, they drove fast. indeed, it was often the custom to have a regular horse race on the way home from church on the wedding day.

the rev. d. g. williams gives the following amusing story of such a race, in connection with a rural wedding which took place not far from newcastle emlyn. there lived a genial old country gentleman in the north-eastern part of pembrokeshire, known as mr. howells, glaspant, who had sent three of his horses to the wedding referred to, one of them was a pony, considered among the swiftest in the district; but there was one drawback in connection with the animal. he would go whichever way he pleased, especially when he was excited. the wedding procession [35]went along from a house called gilfach gweision to capel evan, where the “knot was tied,” and as soon as the ceremony was over the homeward race began in real earnest. the squire felt confident that his “comet,” as the pony was named, would be sure to prove victorious in the race, if the animal could be kept to follow the road which led on to cwm cuch, instead of turning to another road which led to mr. howells’ own house, glaspant. to make sure of this, the enthusiastic old gentleman in due time, sent all his servants, both men and women, with walking-sticks and brooms in their hands to stand where the two roads met, so as to prevent the pony turning to the one that led to the house. onward came the wedding cavalcade at last, the pony taking the lead as mr. howells expected, and when “comet” saw a rowdy crowd shouting with all their might, and with brooms and sticks, the animal was glad to pass forward in the right direction and soon proved himself the hero of the day, and the old man felt as proud of his pony as the young husband was of his wife.

another common practice in connection with the weddings in wales, and still prevails in some places, was known as chaining or halting the wedding. as the young husband and wife were driving home from church at the end of the wedding ceremony they would find the way obstructed by ropes stretching the road, covered with flowers, and ribbons, and evergreens, or sometimes blocked up entirely by thorns. it is said that this was intended as the first obstacle in married life. ropes in some cases were made of straw, and the young couple were not allowed to pass without paying a footing to the obstructors, and then the barrier was removed amidst a general hurrah. this chaining or halting the wedding was known in many parts of west wales as “codi cwinten,” or to set up a quintain.

in ancient times guintain seems to have been some kind of a game of skill in vogue among several nations; it consisted of an upright post, on the top of which a cross bar turned on a pivot; “at one end of the cross hung a heavy sand bag, and at the other was placed a broad plank; the accomplished cavalier in his passage couched his lance, and with the point made a thrust at the broad plank, and continued his route with his usual rapidity, and only felt the “gwyntyn,” or the “air” of the sand bag, fanning his hair as he passed.... the awkward horseman in attempting to pass this terrific barrier was either unhorsed by the weight of the sand bag, or by the impulse of the animal against the bar found his steed sprawling under him on the ground.” [36]

in some parts of the country, when the bride or the young wife reaches home after the wedding ceremony, she buys some small trifle, a pin or anything from her bridesmaid; and by taking the opportunity of buying something before her husband has a chance, she’ll be master over him for life! sometimes the young newly-married couple resorted to a wishing well, and the first to drink the water became the master in their wedded life!

in wales, it is considered unlucky to marry on a wet day. it was considered unlucky for the wedding party to go and return from the church exactly on the same path, so sometimes it was customary to go out of the way a bit so as to avoid ill-luck.

it is still customary to decorate the roads where the wedding party is to pass with arches and bannerettes, bearing mottoes appropriate to the occasion. this was done in february, 1906, at the wedding of mr. david t. davies, of penlan, llanwrda; and at the marriage of mr. d. barlett of carmarthen in the same month, llanboidy parish church was tastefully decorated with palms and evergreens, and the village was gay with bunting and festoons. such decorations are very common, especially in connection with a country gentleman’s marriage, when tenants adorn their houses with garlands, and children strew flowers in the bride’s path. it was formerly the custom to pelt the bride and bridegroom with flowers, and it is still very general to throw rice at them. i remember this rice-throwing three years ago at llanilar, cardiganshire, at the wedding of a sister of dr. rees. sometimes old boots were thrown, and i have heard that grains of wheat served the purpose once. such things were done to ensure “good luck.”

in former times the bridal flowers were roses, gentle lady, lady’s fingers, lady-smock, pansy, prickles and furze, and, in order to encourage the young wife in industry, red clover bloom was strewn in her pathway.

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neithior.

when the ceremony at the church and the horse racing which followed were over, the guests proceeded to the young married couple’s house to partake of some food, and in the afternoon and the evening they paid their “pwython” to the newly married couple, that is those of the guests who had not paid already. others again gave fresh presents. there was much consumption of beer and cakes on such occasions always, and the sale of which was a further source of income to the young couple, so that between everything they were provided with the means for a good start in their married life. very often such a large [37]crowd attended the neithior, that the house was often too small to accommodate them all; so a party of the men resorted to the barn or any other convenient place to drink beer.

it was also customary for the young men to treat the young maidens with cakes; so there was a good deal of love-making, and often of rivalry, especially should there be a very pretty girl among the merry company. those young maids who were fortunate enough as to be in favour with the young men had their aprons full of cakes and biscuits, etc., to take home with them in the evening. such festivities as a rule were very merry and kept up till a late hour, and there was a good deal of singing, harp-playing and dancing, for the welsh were expert dancers in former times; but at the present day dancing is almost unknown, at least in country places.

on such occasions, it was customary, as a rule, to secure the presence of a harper, for the harp was from time immemorial a favourite musical instrument among the welsh people; for giraldus cambrensis writing 700 years ago, says:—“those who arrive in the morning are entertained till evening with the conversation of young women and the music of the harp; for each house has its young women and harps allotted to this purpose ... and in each family the art of playing on the harp is held preferable to any other learning.” during the last three generations, however, the dear old instrument with its sweet and melodious sounds gradually declined in popular favour in wales, and at the present, there are but very few who can play on the harp at all, indeed, in many districts the instrument has entirely disappeared, giving place to the modern piano. this is to be greatly regretted, and every patriotic welshman should do his best to encourage playing on the harp.

it happened once that a “neithior” or wedding festivities took place, strange to say, without a wedding! this was about two generations ago in the parish of llandyssul. a man of the name of b. t. rees, in that part of the country was engaged to be married to a young woman who was known as sally. two bidders had been sent round the country to invite people to the wedding, and all other preparations had been made ready for the joyful occasion, and everything appeared most promising. but when b. t. rees, a few days before the appointed time for the wedding ceremony, went to visit his bride-elect, she would neither receive him nor speak to him, but ordered him to depart immediately from her presence, to the great astonishment and disappointment of rees, the bridegroom, and his friends. he endeavoured [38]to reason with her, but to no purpose. afterwards some of his friends were sent to speak to her, but nothing availed; it seemed as if she had suddenly made up her mind to banish him entirely from her heart.

the wedding was to take place at henllan on a certain morning, and the “neithior” in the afternoon at llandyssul. when that morning arrived, the bridegroom and his friends, decided to seek the bride once more, but she had hidden herself and could not be found anywhere. rees and his party were in a strange predicament, and did not know what to do; but they returned to llandyssul, and in the afternoon the wedding festivities were kept up just as if the wedding had actually taken place; and when night came, rees had come into possession of large sums of money from the sale of beer, and donations, or wedding gifts and the sincere sympathy of the guests, but he had failed to secure a wife after all! rees and sally were married ultimately, however.

in the last century, the neithior took place on the wedding day; in former times, however, the festivities were continued on the sunday, which followed. sir s. r. meyrick, writing about one hundred years ago says:—“sunday being come, the bride and bridegroom’s business is to stay at home all day and receive good-will and pwython. this is called “neithior.” they receive more money this day than saturday, and all are written down as before, whether fresh presents, or those repaid.”

it seems from what i have been informed by old persons, that such doings on sundays had almost disappeared, if not completely so, in meyrick’s time, at least in most places, but it is evident that sunday observances of the kind were common about the middle of the eighteenth century; and in the old church register of the parish of llanfihangel geneu’r glyn, in cardiganshire, the following record is found:—

“11 june, 1745. whereas the parish has been notorious hitherto in upholding and continuing a wicked custom of keeping biddings or meetings upon the sabbath day to the dishonour of god, and contempt of religion, to prevent such irregularities for the future, it is this day ordered by the consent of a vestry legally called and kept that the said custom shall stop and be discontinued entirely hereafter, and whosoever within our said parish encourages or practices and obstinately refuses to obey this our order, we do unanimously consent and join to punish him to the utmost rigour of the law.—w. williams, clerk, etc.”

such sunday customs were by degrees discontinued entirely in every part of wales, and the welsh have been for some generations [39]now, and to their credit still are, the most strict sabbatarians in the world with the exception perhaps of the scotch. the methodists revivalists in the eighteenth century, who greatly inveighed against sabbath breaking, contributed towards bringing about this satisfactory state of things.

the curious old welsh weddings, which i have endeavoured to describe in this book do not prevail now; the only surviving feature of them is perhaps what is known in some parts as “ystafell,” and in other parts as “cwyro ty.” “ystafell” is rather popular now in some districts, especially between tregaron and lampeter, but instead of a gwahoddwr or bidder an aunt or some other near relative of the bride goes round the houses inviting the neighbours to bring wedding gifts so as to give the young couple a good start in life.

i have been informed that similar old wedding customs to those of the welsh were once in vogue in cumberland, a county where the celtic element is very strong, and also in brittany, another celtic province, and the present custom of wedding gifts which is so common in connection with fashionable weddings at the present day, is only a survival of the old welsh customs.

it seems that in china also it is customary for the friends and relations of the bride and bridegroom to present them with wedding gifts, and in ancient peru a dwelling was got ready for the newly-married pair at the charge of the district, and the prescribed portion of land assigned for their maintenance, and the ceremony of marriage was followed by general festivities among the friends of the parties, which lasted several days.

1 king george and caroline. ↑

2 a pot for cooking. ↑