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The psycho-analytic study of the family

CHAPTER XVI ORIGIN AND DEVELOPMENT OF THE FAMILY TENDENCIES—LOVE ASPECTS
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the problems connected with the origin, development and the love attitude influence upon human history of the love attitude in relation to the family are, as we have said, in some respects both more important and more difficult than those connected with the hate attitude—more important because, as we have seen throughout, the hate attitude is to a considerable extent merely a consequence of, or at any rate dependent on, the love attitude; more difficult, because the psychic tendencies which enter into the love attitude are in general more unconscious in character, further removed from our everyday standard of conscious thought and feeling and, on the whole, subject also to more violent and more permanent conflicts and repressions.

we have seen that, in its positive form, this love attitude the positive and negative aspects that have to be considered manifests itself in an incestuous affection—in the first place, perhaps always of the child for its mother; in what is perhaps a slightly more developed, but certainly a more easily recognisable form, of the child for its parent of the opposite sex; in a still more developed form, of brothers for sisters, or of more remote relatives for one another. in its negative form this attitude is manifested as a violent antipathy to any such incestuous attachment, at any rate in so far as this attachment assumes the sexual form or anything resembling such a form. we have here to consider, first, what can be the influences which bring about this incestuous attachment in the human mind—an attachment of such durability that, as we have seen, it determines to a large extent the nature and course of the[185] whole of the subsequent love life of the individual, as well as of many of the activities which lie apparently far removed from the sphere of love or sex; secondly, given the existence of this attachment, what are the further influences which have brought about its repression—a repression that corresponds in strength and influence to the importance of the positive impulse to which it is opposed.

let us consider first the positive side of the love attitude. influences determining the positive aspects the influences which, we may suggest, play an important part in bringing about a strong tendency to the formation of incestuous affections in the human mind may be most conveniently grouped under a number of separate heads.

(1) first in time and perhaps also in importance would the long duration of human childhood seem to be a group of factors connected with the long period of infancy, childhood and youth, which characterises, to a greater or a less extent, all branches of the human race. during this long period, the child is, as we have more than once emphasised, wholly or partially dependent on its parents for the satisfaction of its needs. now it is a fundamental tendency of the mind to experience pleasure in connection with, and generally to appreciate, those objects which administer to, or are associated with, the basic needs and requirements of the organism; i. e. the mind tends naturally to react towards these objects in a manner which, at a higher level of development, we should designate as love[226]. it is not altogether surprising then that, the parents being for many years associated with the fulfilment of the great majority of conscious needs, the nascent love of the child should be directed to them in a greater measure than to any other object.

(2) it is a pretty generally recognised fact that—in virtue primitive sympathy reacting on the expressions of instinctive parental feeling of a process which mcdougall[227] has conveniently designated primitive sympathy—among the stimuli which are most effective in producing any given feeling or emotion are the manifestations of that feeling or emotion in some other person or persons. now it is generally admitted by psychologists that the presence[186] of children tends to evoke an instinctive affection and tenderness on the part of the parents; the biological justification, and indeed necessity, for such an instinct, as well as for the fact of its existence being indeed sufficiently manifest—especially no doubt in women but to a considerable extent in men also. in virtue of this instinctive tenderness parents naturally give expression to their affection in the presence of the children, whereupon the latter, reacting through primitive sympathy, tend to experience affection in their turn and to direct it upon the nearest and most appropriate object—i. e. the parent whose manifestations of tenderness have aroused the emotion. this sequence of events being frequently repeated, the child's affections come in time to be firmly attached to the parent, reciprocating the affection he receives from this direction.

(3) again, it is evident that, especially in primitive love and respect as elements of imitation and suggestibility communities, the child is dependent on its parent, not only for the fulfilment of its elementary needs and desires, but also for the opportunity of learning how to fulfil these needs and desires in its own person. this process of learning implies—especially perhaps in immature minds—a tendency to imitate the teacher and to be suggestible towards him. now suggestibility, as we have already seen, probably depends to a considerable extent upon love; it certainly depends largely upon an attitude of respect or admiration on the part of the one who is suggestible. much the same is true of imitation; we notoriously tend to imitate those whom we love, whom we admire, and to whom we look up with confidence and veneration. this being the case, the adoption of an attitude of love and respect towards his parents, would be of considerable advantage to the child, as enabling him to acquire more readily those capacities, habits and ideas which he most naturally learns from his parents (and later on from those on to whom the parent-regarding feelings are displaced) through imitation and suggestion. in view of the comparatively unformed and plastic condition of many of the instinctive tendencies in human infants, the ability to learn easily and quickly from their elders is of great importance to children in their early years. we have here then very possibly a factor which contributes to the survival-value of a strong parent attachment, though it may not actually call any such attachment into being.

[187]

(4) modern psychology is showing more and more that the growth of man's principal instinctive tendencies is continuous from early youth upward to maturity, there being few or no early arousal of sex tendencies in the family is necessary for cultural displacements sudden changes, transitions or fresh departures as development proceeds. the work of freud and his followers has, above all, clearly shown that the sexual tendencies are not narrowly confined to processes intimately connected with the reproduction of the species, but pervade the whole life of the individual, manifesting themselves in a great variety of ways, many of which are very far removed from the reproductive sphere but are of the greatest importance in the increase and maintenance of culture. more especially it has been shown (in a way which we have to some extent already studied) that these tendencies undergo a continuous process of development from childhood upwards, and that on their growth and history depends to a considerable extent the character and social value of the individual.

such being the nature and conditions of development of this important aspect of the mind, it is evident that something akin to the later affections characteristic of maturity should be found even in the earliest attachments of the child. it is only on the mistaken assumption that the sexual impulse emerges, as it were, fully grown at the time of puberty, that the existence of sexual elements in the loves of an earlier age appears surprising. in reality it is necessary, if the sexual tendencies are to play their important role in the displacements involved in the civilised adult life, that they should ripen early, even though they may not be required for purposes of reproduction for many years to come; and if they are to ripen early, it is only natural that they should be called into play in the child's relations to his parents, who are as a rule by far the most prominent persons of his environment during the first years of his existence. it would seem probable, the human mind being constituted as it is, that unless the large source of energy which is contained in, and habitually manifested through, the sexual tendencies (in the wide sense assigned to them by freud) were made available in infancy or early childhood, the child would have too little motive at its disposal to make the vast efforts necessary to enable it to pass from the helplessness and ignorance of infancy to the relatively enormous skill and[188] knowledge of adult life, and to acquire the manifold and complex characteristics of an age-long culture. the early awakening of the sexual tendencies in connection with the life of the family thus reveals itself as a natural—and indeed perhaps to some extent an inevitable—condition of any high degree of human civilisation or cultural achievement.

(5) another factor of great importance in mental and necessity for the early transition from autoerotism to object-love moral development, as regards which the early direction of love on to the parents plays an important part, is one to which we have already often had occasion to refer—the development of object love as distinct from the more primitive levels of sexuality manifested in autoerotism and narcissism. the full social and ethical implications of this change are not yet completely understood—the whole subject of the narcissistic trends and their manifestations, normal and abnormal, having only recently been studied by the psycho-analytic method—but it is abundantly clear that these are of very considerable significance. failure to carry out the change successfully would seem to bring with it almost inevitably certain grave defects of character, involving an exaggerated egoism and a correspondingly deficient altruism; defects which must seriously detract from the social value of the individual, and which when present in large numbers of the population, must imperil the success or even the existence of the social organism. it is essential therefore that the stage of object-love should become firmly established in at least a majority of individuals if society is to prosper, and, as we have seen, the transition from autoerotism to object-love is under normal human conditions brought about in connection with the child's relations to its parents. how indeed could this transition be more easily and surely achieved than through this relationship—at once the earliest, the most necessary and, in many ways, the most intimate which the individual ever knows? through the affection which the child feels towards those who supply its elementary needs, it learns the meaning of attachment to an object outside itself—an attachment which, in its further development, leads to the tendency to seek the goal of effort and desire in the outer world rather than in intimate connection with the self, the tendency upon which all altruism is ultimately based. just as the early awakening of the sexual[189] impulses ensures that these impulses shall have time and opportunity to devote the great motive power at their disposal to the work involved in mental growth and education, so the early arousal of object-love in connection with the parents ensures that these impulses shall take that direction which alone will enable the child to become a useful and a pleasant member of society.

(6) if the incestuous direction of affection thus assists the the narcissistic love elements are also satisfied by incestuous affection development of object-love, we must not forget that at the same time it is calculated to give a considerable degree of satisfaction to the narcissistic elements of love. in their most characteristic and pronounced form, these narcissistic elements will usually manifest themselves in a homosexual direction and therefore not in the typical form of incestuous heterosexual affection with which we are here chiefly concerned. there can be little doubt however that, in a less violent and overwhelming form and as a factor in a total complex situation, the narcissistic elements do enter very frequently into normal love between members of the opposite sexes. the similarities—physical, mental and circumstantial—that usually exist between those who are of common descent bring it about that a partial identification of the self with the loved object is often easier in the case of a blood relative than with any other person. hence the influence of this factor will frequently add itself to the other forces which tend to produce an incestuous direction of affection.

the partial identification upon which the operation of this narcissistic factor in object-love depends, may of course take place at many different psychic levels, from one at which the perception of the resemblance between the loved object and the self may to some extent enter into consciousness, to one at which the identification seems to rest upon some mysterious deep-seated and archaic bond of union, depending possibly upon organic factors or upon the experiences of pre-natal life—such a bond for instance as that which arises perhaps as a result of the close vital connection between mother and child during the period of gestation and lactation[228].

[190]

in this way the love of a child to those who are related thus two opposing tendencies in love find simultaneous gratification to it by ties of blood—and particularly to the parents—is such as to afford a convenient compromise between two sets of conflicting impulses—the impulses that tend to the development of object-love and those more primitive ones that manifest themselves most clearly at the autoerotic and narcissistic levels. such a compromise formation is, as we know, peculiarly characteristic of the process of displacement. it is a general law of mental progress in conation that in the new direction of activity that results from a conflict of impulses, there are to be found certain elements that are connected with the satisfaction of both conflicting aims. as a ready means of providing such common elements, the love of parents and of other relatives may therefore in very many cases be supported by the energy derived both from the narcissistic and the object-seeking components of affection. hence another potent reason for the widespread occurrence of this form of love.

(7) another set of factors working towards the production the dependence aspects may also indirectly foster incestuous tendencies and maintenance of the tendencies to incest are those connected with the dependence of the youthful individual on the family, with all that this implies. we have already, in chapters iv and v studied the manner in which the inertia of habit, the difficulties involved in the growth of individuality, the efforts required for self-governance, self-maintenance and independence and the tendency to regress to an earlier stage of development in the face of obstacles, all combine to produce the retention of, or the return to, a relatively infantile attitude towards the family. we were there chiefly concerned with the aspects of self-preservation and self-expression rather than with the aspects of love or reproduction, but it is evident that the infantile and childish stages of both aspects must be associated with one another, so that a fixation at an early stage of development with regard to one aspect will be likely to bring with it a corresponding fixation as regards the other. thus, for instance, an undue reluctance to abandon the conception of the mother as the protector and provider of childhood may easily entail a similar failure of growth on the erotic side. in general it would appear that the inertia of the human mind, which so often involves a failure to emancipate the self from the trammels of the early family life, will tend inevitably to produce a corresponding[191] want of adjustment in the love life. this factor of itself would not suffice to bring about the tendency to incest, but, given the existence of this tendency, it might constitute an influence of very considerable power in maintaining the tendency in question, both in the individual and in the race, and might even be a means of producing a reversion to this tendency in cases where it seemed to have been superseded or outgrown.

(8) the sentiment of parent love having been called into existence by the aid of the factors we have already enumerated—directly in the case of 1 and 2, more indirectly in the case of 4, 5 and 6 and still more indirectly perhaps in the case of 3 and 7—all conditions are particularly favourable for its the sentiment of parent-love is powerful in virtue of its early formation continuance and growth. in the first place, it is almost certainly one of the earliest important sentiments to be formed, the only other one which can compare with it in this respect being the self-regarding sentiment. it thus enjoys as compared with most others sentiments all the advantage afforded by priority. what the exact nature of any such advantage may be, it would be hazardous to suggest in detail: we know however that it is a general characteristic of the function and development of mind that dispositions which are formed early in the life of the individual enjoy a greater stability and permanence than those subsequently acquired. even where, as so often happens, the function of the earlier dispositions is modified or obscured by the results of later experience, the phenomena of "regression" to earlier levels, as manifested in pathology, show clearly enough that the earlier dispositions remain intact throughout life and in many cases seem to be (in themselves and apart from the influence of extraneous factors) paths that offer less resistance to the passage of emotional energy than do those formed at a later period. it may well be then that its priority of formation gives to the sentiment of parent-love a more stable and deep-rooted foundation than that enjoyed by any sentiment subsequently formed.

further, psycho-analytic study appears to indicate very strongly that it is in the nature of the mind for all the earliest channels of conative energy not only to remain capable of functioning in later life, but actually to continue to function, though often in such a degree or in such a way as to have but little if any direct influence on consciousness or action. thus[192] it would appear that when a sublimation is formed and emotional energy is directed into a fresh channel, not all the energy passing through the original channel is deflected; some, on the contrary, continues to pass along the original channel. at each fresh sublimation this process is repeated, so that, to use a simile of freud's, we may compare the development of the libido to the history of a wandering tribe, which at each fresh migration leaves some of its members behind in the home it is just leaving (the larger the proportion of the population that is left behind—i. e. the greater the fixations—the greater being of course the tendency to regress along the former line of advance when an obstacle is encountered). in such a system of function and development, it is clear that the oldest channels are necessarily, in a sense, the most stable and permanent, the least easy to modify or to destroy.

in this respect then the channels comprising the sentiment of parent-love are comparable to all other early channels of the libido. just as the autoerotic trends connected with the oral, anal and urethral regions of the body and the primitive tendencies to sadism, masochism and exhibitionism have been shown to underlie many of the activities of adult life, so (on a higher and more complex level of development) parent-love has been revealed as the foundation upon which rests the greater part of the affection of childhood, adolescence and maturity. from this point of view it would appear that parent-love, in its persistence and influence on later life, exhibits characteristics which are, in greater or less degree, common to all the earliest manifestations of the libido.

in one important respect however the history of parent furthermore, numerous influences favour its persistence love differs from the history of many other of these early manifestations. parent-love not only comes into being at a very early age, but, as regards many of its attributes, it normally persists with but little alteration throughout the whole of the impressionable period from infancy to adolescence. the sensual elements of this love are, it is true, for the most part repressed soon after they appear, but the elements of tenderness and veneration usually remain and build up a sentiment which operates vigorously and continuously for many years, whereas the other sentiments formed during this period (with the exception again of the self-regarding sentiment) are apt to be[193] of a far more temporary and evanescent character. it is true, as we have seen, that as development proceeds the affection felt towards the parents is to some extent displaced on to other persons, but nevertheless, in the normal course of events, a large portion of this affection remains throughout early life fixated on its original object. moreover as regards this fixation of affection on the parents (provided only no sensual element be too apparent), the individual meets as a rule with every encouragement and sign of approval from those about him, not with the disapprobation or ridicule which he often encounters when his affections are directed elsewhere. the sentiment of parent love has therefore the support of moral sanction in a way enjoyed by few, if any, other sentiments of love that may be formed in early life.

we see therefore that both as regards priority of formation and as regards duration, vigour and continuity of function throughout the all important period of development, parent love normally occupies an almost unique place among the sentiments—a place which renders to some extent intelligible the importance of the role it plays in human life.

(9) finally, the tendency to incestuous direction of affection, the tendency to incest thus brought about is strengthened by practice and tradition having once been brought into existence, has no doubt been strengthened and consolidated by the actual practice of incest that has pretty certainly occurred on a wide scale among certain races and at certain levels of development[229].

[195]

apart from the actual observation of incestuous practices the occurrence of incest may also be inferred from certain practices and institutions at the present day, the previous occurrence of incest on a wide scale may (as we have already to some extent indicated in earlier chapters) frequently be inferred with some degree of certainty from the nature of practices, customs, observances and institutions which seem to be remnants or vestiges of a one-time general prevalence of incest. we have already referred to the practice of brother-sister marriage among certain lines of monarchs (p. 91), to the customs of the levirate and sororate (p. 93) and of group marriage (p. 90), the droit de seigneur (p. 143) and the licence frequently permitted at certain festivals such as initiation (p. 89).

evidence for the previous existence of incest is also forthcoming from the measures and prohibitions erected to prevent it. the "avoidances" practised by a large number of savage peoples are very numerous and have reference to all the principal relationships, both those of blood and those acquired by marriage. these "avoidances" are unhesitatingly regarded by most authorities as customs adopted as a precaution against incest.

the most striking institution of this kind is however undoubtedly especially from exogamy that of exogamy. there is as yet no complete consensus of opinion as to the causes that have led to the origin and development of exogamy, but the majority of the eminent investigators who have devoted themselves to the subject agree that the avoidance of incest is the principal factor that has led to the creation of the system. the various stages of exogamic development, as seen in australia, appear to constitute so many[196] fresh encroachments upon the liberty of incest[230], the later and more complex four class system prohibiting certain unions between relatives that the earlier and simpler two class system has permitted, while the eight class system in turn prevents those that are not excluded under the four class system, though the actual relationships prohibited differ somewhat according to whether descent is traced in the male or female line.

there is a considerable amount of evidence to show that exogamy was probably preceded by endogamy exogamy, where now in force, was preceded by a period in which the unions prohibited under its rule were freely indulged in, though the marriage tie was at the same time broader and less binding. thus of the central australians spencer and gillen[231] say that tradition "seems to point back to a time when a man always married a woman of his own totem. the reference to men and woman of one totem always living together in groups would appear to be too frequent to admit of any other satisfactory explanation. we never meet in tradition with an instance of a man living with a woman who was not of his own totem." the same conclusion as to the former universal prevalence of endogamy emerges from a study of the actually observed condition of the australian natives, the rude and uncultivated tribes of the interior being still to some extent endogamic, while there is a gradual increase in the frequency and strictness of exogamy, as we proceed from these to the more advanced communities of the north[232]. among the kacharis of assam we have an example of what is probably the still more primitive process of a compulsory endogamy giving place to freedom to marry outside the totem group, endogamy being here thus not only permitted but enjoined[233]. other indications of the co-existence of endogamy with a totemic system are found in madagascar[234] and in n.w. america[235].

frazer supposes that exogamy in its beginning arose[197] originally as a restriction upon complete promiscuity, though he admits that such promiscuity need not have been characteristic of absolutely primitive man[236]. as a matter of fact the most primitive races that we know seem to be usually really primitive races mostly monogamous and endogamous monogamous and endogamous. this is for instance to a greater or less extent the case with the veddahs[237], the andamanese[238], the lowest forest tribes of brazil[239], the inhabitants of the interior of borneo[240], the semangs and senoi of the malay peninsula[241], and the negritos of the philippines[242] and central africa[243].

in these primitive peoples and in those who, as we must the family is therefore their principal social unit suppose, formerly resembled them, the family would appear to be a more closely knit and socially a more important unit than in the later age of totemism and exogamy; there being in this respect a resemblance between the primitive condition and that of the post-totemic patriarchal period. there is reason to believe however that in the case of really primitive man (in distinction from the later patriarchal period) the family is often the only permanent and stable unit; such approximation to tribal organisation as exists being mostly of a temporary or incest a natural consequence of such conditions fluctuating character. with such peoples the low state of culture will often necessitate a relatively scattered population, and in these circumstances endogamy and incest may be a natural—indeed possibly sometimes an inevitable—consequence; for where families live in relative isolation for long periods together, opportunities for marriage outside the family may be few, and abstention from sexual activities during these periods would imply a greater power of continence than would seem as a rule to be possessed by primitive peoples. incest would naturally follow too under these conditions from the early ripening of the sexual instinct which is generally found in[198] primitive man[244]. the very early cohabitation of the sexes which results therefrom would, in relatively isolated families, almost necessarily occur in an incestuous form.

if these influences have made incest a common practice how do past incestuous practices produce present tendencies to incest? at one period of man's history, in what ways has this practice contributed to the tendency to incest found at a later date and at the present day? in view of the widespread (we are probably justified in saying universal) occurrence of this tendency, of the relative uniformity of its ultimate nature in spite of manifold differences of culture, training, and environment, of the great strength which it possesses even after ages of repression, there is not unnaturally a temptation to regard it as an innate factor in man's mental constitution, i. e., to assert that there is in man an hereditary tendency to direct his love and sexual the influence of heredity and of tradition inclination to those who are of his own blood or at any rate to those with whom he has been brought up and has been familiar since his infancy[245]. possibly in the long ages in which man or his pre-human ancestors lived in relatively isolated families, this tendency was of advantage in the struggle for existence, in so much as it may have contributed both to more rapid multiplication and to the greater consolidation, and therefore greater safety and stability, of the family, as the most important social unit. the tendency to incest may thus be due ultimately to the action of natural selection; the long period during which incest was regularly practised may have established and ingrained it as a normal feature of the race and its persistence to-day may be due to the continuance of the hereditary disposition thus formed and thus consolidated.

apart from the direct influence of this hereditary factor however, a long period during which incest was habitual may have affected the tendency to incest at a later time through custom, law and tradition. these change but slowly in a primitive society, and, through their inertia, would tend to reinforce or maintain the hereditary factor, even when, owing to the action of other causes, incest may have been abandoned in the main in favour of exogamy. these influences may have kept alive the remembrance of, and desire for, incest, which would otherwise possibly have succumbed to the forces working to bring about its suppression.

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