it was a lovely afternoon, in the fall of the year; that season by many deemed the most melancholy of them all. the fallen leaves, the decay of vegetation, the absence of flowers, the trees shorn of their summer glory, are to some such painful emblems of man’s estate, that they shrink in strange and melancholy trembling from the calm and pensive aspect of autumn, as if the death of nature whispered of their own. yet it is not so. autumn, even in its sadness, looks beyond the grave, and breathes of immortality. the shorn tree will put on its gala dress again; the withered hedge will send forth the loveliest flowers. earth, burdened now in seeming with its emblems of decay, in reality derives thence her nourishment and strength, and will spring up again, bright and beautiful, strong and smiling in her reawakened joy. and shall man alone, amid the creation of omnific love, pass hence for ever? no, oh, no! as a flower to bloom and be cut down, so as a flower will he burst forth again in a lovelier world and never-ending spring.
the day was well suited for such consoling musing; there was a balmy freshness in the air, a clearness in the atmosphere, in the cloudless expanse of azure, stretching above and around; a warmth and glow in the sun, even as he approached the west, unusual to the season. and there was beauty, too, in the landscape; or the fountain of enjoyment which nature had unsealed in our hearts, bathed the scene in its own bright colouring, as in those exquisite lines of coleridge:—
* * * “we receive but what we give,
and in our hearts alone does nature live;
ours her wedding garment, and ours her shroud,
and would we ought receive of higher worth
than that inanimate, cold world allow’d
to the poor, loveless, ever-anxious crowd?
ah! from the soul itself must issue forth
a light, a glory, a fair luminous cloud,
enveloping the earth.”
the trees lifted up their graceful heads to the circling heaven; every branch and every spray clearly defined against the blue; so still, so moveless, they looked like pencil-sketches of exquisite delicacy and softness. then often, as in beautiful relief, started up a gigantic holly, every leaf green and glossy as in the richness of summer, with clusters of its bright scarlet berries standing out against the dark leaf, like sprays of coral. ever and anon, a break in the hedge displayed towering hills and far-stretching meadows, green and glistening from the late rains; while bold crags, chained by the grey lichen and golden stonecrop, and patches of gloomy firs, frowning like grim shadows in the sunshine, proclaimed the mountainous district to which we were approaching, and heightened, by contrast, the beauty all around. there was something in the whole aspect of nature so calm, so cheerful, bereft as she was of every flower and leaf, and all her rich summer hoards, that made us compare her to one on whom affliction has fallen with a heavy hand, whose flowers of life are withered, but who can yet lift up heart and brow, with serene and placid faith, to that heaven where the vanished flowers wait her smile again.
the very sounds, too, were in unison with the scene. the sweet note of many an english bird, not in full chorus of melody, as in the warmth and luxury of summer, but one or two together, answered by others as they floated to and fro in the field of azure, or paused a moment on the quivering spray. then came the twinkling gush of a silvery stream, seeming, by its blithesome voice, to rejoice in its increase of waters from previous heavy rains. then, sparkling and leaping in the glittering rays, like a shower of silver, a rustic watermill became visible through the trees; the music of its splash and foam bringing forth the voice of memory yet more thrillingly than before, for it was a sound of home. we paused; when suddenly another sound floated on the air, of more mournful meaning. it was the solemn toll of a church bell, distinct though distant, possessing all that simple sanctity peculiar to the country—that voice of wailing which comes upon the heart as if the departed, whom it mourns, had had its dwelling there, claiming kindred alike with our sorrows and our joys. we hurried on, and just as we neared the ivy-mantled church, the solemn chanting of a psalm by several young and most sweet voices sounded in the dim distance, and becoming nearer and more near, proclaimed the approach of the funeral train. the peculiar mode of tolling the bell, as is customary in those primitive districts of the north of england, had already betrayed the sex of the departed, and with foreboding spirits we listened for the age. we counted twenty-one of those mournful chimes, and then they sunk in silence solemn as their sound.
the church was situated midway on the ascent of a hill, or rather mount, guarded by a thick grove of yews and firs, their sad and pensive foliage assimilating well with the olden shrine. the ivy had clambered over the slender buttress, clustering round the old square belfry, decking age with beauty, and moss and lichen pressed forth in fantastic patches on the roof. the green earth was filled with lowly graves, thickly twined with evergreen shrubs and hardy flowering plants. headstones and marble tombs there were; some so crusted over by the cold finger of time, that even the briefest record of those who slept beneath was lost for ever; and others gleaming pure and white in the declining sun, seeming to whisper hope and faith in the very midst of desolation and death.
the clergyman stood at the churchyard gate, waiting the arrival of the corpse. he was leaning against the stone pillar which held the hinges of the gate, his head buried in his hands, and his bowed and drooping aspect breathing a more than common love. his figure was so peculiarly youthful, we wondered at his full canonical costume.
the psalm continued; now low, as mourning the departed—now in solemn rejoicing that a ransomed soul was free. the snow-white pall which covered the coffin, the white dresses and hoods of the bearers and the young girls, who, to the number of eight or ten, headed the train, confirmed the mournful tale which the bell had already told. a young girl of one-and-twenty summers was passing to her last long home. there were but few chief mourners, and these seemed struggling to subdue their grief to the composed and holy stillness meet for such an hour. as the train entered the last winding path of the ascent, the bell began again to toll, and the sound seemed to rouse the young minister from his all-absorbing grief. he started, with a visible shudder, and the expression of agony that his face revealed haunted us for many a long day. there was a strong effort at control; and he turned to meet the corpse, repeating, as he did so, in low impressive tones, part of the burial service. he walked at the head of the train to the place appointed—the centre of a little cluster of yews; and there, in silent awe, we watched the ceremony of the interment.
an aged minister had been among the train of mourners, and, as they entered the churchyard, had approached the officiating clergyman, evidently entreating to perform the melancholy office in his stead. the reply was merely a strong grasp of the hand and a mournful shake of the head; and the old man fell back to his place, his eyes still fixed on his young brother, and gradually they filled with large tears, which fell unconsciously, and seemed more for the living than the dead. once only the service was wholly inarticulate, and the old man drew near hurriedly, as fearing the calm of mental torture must at length give way; but still he struggled on, though the tone in which the awful words—“earth to earth, and dust to dust,” now at length pronounced, was as if the very spirit had been wrung to give them voice. never did the sound of filling in the grave fall with such cold and heavy weight on our hearts as at that moment; yet still, spell-bound, we lingered.
the early twilight of autumn had deepened the beautiful blue of the heavens, as the service concluded, and with low, subdued chant the mourning train departed. the slender forms of the young girls, in their snowy robes, gleaming strangely and fitfully through the darkening shadows of the winding paths; their sweet, young voices sounding almost like spirit music, as they faded, fainter and more faint in the far distance.
still the young clergyman remained, pale, rigid, moveless, gazing on the newly-turned earth, till he fancied he was alone with the homes of the dead; and then, with a low, smothered groan of anguish, he flung himself on the damp grave, clasping it with his outstretched arms, pressing his cold lips upon it, his whole frame quivering with the effort to restrain his bursting sobs. the old man hurried forwards and laid his trembling hand on his arm, the tears streaming down his furrowed face the while, and with faltering accents conjured him to take comfort, for his poor mother’s sake.
“i will, i will,” was the agonized reply. “leave me, leave me to my god. he will bring peace. i see but the cold grave now; but faith will come again. she is free, rejoicing. she will know now how much, how faithfully—but leave me, leave me now.” and the old man turned sorrowingly away; and softly and sadly, for such grief might not bear a witness, we departed also—our last lingering glance revealing the youthful mourner kneeling in voiceless supplication on the sod.
to the aged minister so often mentioned we were indebted for that true english hospitality, still so warmly proffered in these “nooks of the world,” and in listening to the following sad and simple story, the evening hours sped on.
lucy lethvyn was the daughter of a rich merchant, in one of our large commercial cities of the north of england. the village of elmsford had been the site alike of her childhood and happy school-days; and so associated was it with hours of peace and joyance, far removed from the strife and confusion around her city home, that her wonted summer visit to its shades and flowers was ever welcomed with delight.
at the vicarage of elmsford, then occupied by our venerable host, mr. evelyn, mrs. lethvyn and her daughters were constant visitors; and there it was that nevil herbert, the young clergyman who had so deeply interested us, again met lucy after a lapse of seven years. formerly they had been frequent companions, from the near relationship of their parents; and nevil had been accustomed to think of lucy as the gentle, artless, affectionate little girl of ten summers, he had last beheld her. her occasional letters, breathing the same fresh, child-like spirit, increased this illusion. she had called him brother, and often wished he had indeed been such; and he had laughingly acknowledged and promised to value the relationship. in those seven years of separation, however, nevil’s lot had changed. at eighteen he lost his father, and the same stroke cast him and his mother penniless on the cold world. a rich relation promised to give him a collegiate education, preparatory to his taking orders, a living being in his gift. the offer, benevolently made as it was, might not be rejected; though to nevil, the parting with his mother, for her also to endure the miseries of dependence, was fraught with such anguish, that he would willingly have worked for her in the meanest capacity, so that she might still feel free.
mrs. herbert was, however, much too unselfish to permit this; she soothed, urged, and in part comforted him, by the anticipation of the time when they might be once again together, assuring him that to contribute to that joyful end, much more painful alternatives could be borne than the one that she had chosen.
on all that nevil herbert had to endure in college, we have no space to linger. suffice it he was poor—he was dependent; and however lavish may be the kindness and benevolence bestowed, it will not take away the sting contained in these two words, or permit the taking that station in the world for which such spirits pine. it is strange how often poverty will change to reserve, and bitterness, and pride, dispositions which in affluence would have been humble, and loving, and open as the day. and sad, oh! how bitterly sad it is that the cold, heartless world should fling such scorn and contempt upon that word, and shrink from the children of poverty, noble-gifted though they be, as they would from crime, and, by a thousand nameless slights and petty provocations, add a hundred-fold to the misery already theirs. philosophy may preach, and religion soothe; but while such things are, poverty must ever be regarded as a doom of horror and of dread.
nevil herbert’s peculiarly sensitive nature caused him to feel these evils even more keenly than the multitude so situated; and therefore the rest and peace of the vicarage of elmsford was, indeed, to him almost heaven upon earth. there nothing ever galled him, but all around breathed the balm of that true sympathy and appreciation, which, raising the drooping spirit to its proper level, restores its self-esteem, and consequently its happiness.
nevil was just two-and-twenty when his ideal of female loveliness and innocence burst upon him in most exquisite reality, through the child-like loveliness and artlessness of lucy. alike the favourites of the vicar, he rejoiced to see them together, and never dreamed that to his petted nevil danger might thence accrue. to him lucy was still a child, as so she was to herself and all around her, but to one, and that one, unhappily, was nevil. he guessed not her influence till he returned to his solitary studies, and then he felt, too keenly, that, despite his every resolution, he loved—and loved in vain; not only from their different stations, but that it was still only as a brother she regarded him.
the next recess found them again together, more closely than before, for lucy was the old man’s guest equally with himself; but a change had come upon her—not towards nevil, but in herself. the child had sprung into the woman—the incipient germs of thought and feeling burst into the full-blossomed flowers. there was a deeper tone in her sweet voice, a more intense light in her radiant eye, a fuller sentiment in her bright smile. yet to nevil’s eye alone these things were visible. none other, even of those who loved her best, saw the change; but nevil read by the light of his own feelings, and they told him she, too, loved—and loved another.
it was even so, and from her own lips the artless tale was poured into his ear. she called and felt him brother, and claimed his sympathy as such; feeling that, did she conceal anything which concerned her happiness from one so true, and kind, and good as nevil herbert, she wronged him, and deserved to lose his friendship altogether; and even at such a moment nevil’s martyr spirit did not forsake him. the hand, indeed, was cold and damp which pressed the fairy one held out to him, as she spoke, but the lip did not quiver, nor the voice falter, in which he assured her that her confidence was not misplaced—that her happiness and interest were dear to him as his own.
a few weeks brought mr. and mrs. lethvyn and mordaunt lyndsey to the vicarage. handsome, intelligent, and animated, there was much in the latter to possess and win. he had been lucy’s partner at her first ball, and by the magic charm of his varied conversation, the magnetic power which fascinates at a first interview, and calling forth the yearning to know more, gradually changes into earnest and lasting love, fixed that evening indelibly on her mind and heart.
it is in vain to argue either on the birth, the nature or the duration of love. it may spring into existence unconsciously; becoming so completely part of our being, that it remains unknown until some sudden shock of joy or grief awakens us from our rest, and dooms us to an almost overpowering sense of joy or an equal intensity of grief; or one little hour may reveal depths within the human heart, whose existence was never known before—will awaken restless, baseless imaginings, that linger, strengthening with every interview, till the earthly fate is fixed for ever. and how may we argue on this, how seek its explanation? yet who, that hath once opened the wide, mysterious volume of the human heart, will deny that so it is?
it was so with lucy. she who had remained free and child-like in her intercourse with nevil herbert (though her character assimilated with his far more than with lyndsey’s), was chained and bound for ever beneath the magic of mordaunt lyndsey’s voice and smile. the spell of their first interview lingered to the second, and each day, each week strengthened lucy’s love.
mordaunt lyndsey was an orphan, and not rich enough to wed a portionless bride; but, unlike nevil, as he knew not the privation and bitterness of dependence, so was he utterly ignorant of those finely organized feelings which could debar his association with the wealthier than himself. he made his way in the world, for he had good connections, well-sounding friends, and so was courted and received. it was some little time before mr. lethvyn could give his consent to their union, his ambition looking higher for his lucy, but his paternal affection was stronger than his ambition; and perceiving how completely her happiness was bound up with mordaunt’s, for whom he himself felt prepossessed, he not only gave unqualified approval, but settled on his darling a portion almost startling in its profuseness, and promised his influence to get mordaunt entered as partner in the firm. lucy was still so young, that her parents prevailed on lyndsey, though very much against his inclination, to wait six months, and celebrate their nuptials with the completion of her eighteenth year.
it had been with perfect sincerity that nevil herbert had promised lucy to comply with her artless entreaty; and, like mordaunt, not only for her dear sake, but from the same honourable and religious principles which actuated all his conduct. why, he asked himself, should he hate and shun a fellow-creature because he was happier than himself? and could he have esteemed as he wished, and hoped to do, young lyndsey, this principle would have been followed by a friendship as disinterested as was felt by man.
but this could not be. rendered watchful and penetrative by his pure and most unselfish affection, a very, very brief interval of intimate association convinced him that mordaunt was not a character worthy of one like lucy. she would need, as a wife, tenderness as unvarying as it was exclusive, sympathy in all her high, pure feelings, as in detestation of all worldliness and art; encouragement in her simple duties and tastes; in a word, love as faithful, as clinging, as constant as her own, and this nevil saw mordaunt could not give. even now, lucy was not the world to him as he was to her, and herbert could not argue that such difference was but in nature, that man could not love as woman; for his own aching spirit told him the creed was false.
time passed. the lethvyns and mordaunt returned to their city homes, and nevil to his solitary studies. weeks sped on to months, the eventful day was near at hand, and lucy’s bridal attire nearing its completion. the nuptials were to be on a scale almost princely; for as princes did lethvyn’s ambitious spirit regard the merchants of england, forgetting, in his vast schemes and golden visions, that the wealth of yesterday may be poverty the morrow. the expected bridal was the talk of the city; anxiety for her child’s happiness the only thought of the mother; love for mordaunt the sole existence of lucy; and therefore it was not very strange that by these severally interested parties lethvyn’s unusually harassed countenance and excited manner were unnoticed. ten days before that appointed for the bridal, however, the blow fell—the firm failed. lethvyn was utterly and irretrievably ruined, unable, by the dishonest conduct of one of the partners, even to pay one shilling in the pound.
the usual excitement which such events in provincial cities always create, was heightened by the universal sympathy for the principal sufferers. lethvyn’s profuse benevolence and affability having made him generally beloved, many pressed forward eager to prove what they felt; but the unfortunate man turned from them with a heart-sickness, a loathing of himself and the whole world, which no human consolation could remove.
that her father should be so prostrated by his failure was a matter of grief, but scarcely of surprise, to lucy; but that it could in any way affect mordaunt, was a mystery she could not solve. loving him, and him alone, with such love that she cared not how lowly was their dwelling—nay, rejoicing that she could now prove her love in a hundred little caressing ways, which in a wealthier and more influential station would be denied her—how could the thought enter her pure mind, that in his affection her wealth had equal resting with herself?—that his ardent desire for the speedy celebration of their marriage originated as much to possess her dowry as herself? the insecure tenure of merchants’ wealth never having for one instant faded from his mind.
to elmsford, at the earnest entreaty of mr. evelyn, the ruined family retired; but vain were all exertions of his friends to rouse mr. lethvyn from his despondency; he drooped and drooped, and there were times when he would fix his eyes on his lucy with such an expression of intense suffering, of foreboding misery, that she would fly to him, fold her arms about his neck, and weep, and then conjure him to tell her what he feared; and then he would fold her closer and closer, the big tears rolling down cheeks on which the furrows of age had been hollowed in a single week, but the cause of such emotion never found a voice.
too soon, however, did the cause reveal itself. with every manifestation of strong feeling and real affection, mordaunt lyndsey confessed that to give lucy the home and comforts which he felt she so deserved and needed, he had not the adequate means. they were both still young, and he would go abroad, seek his fortune in india, where a lucrative situation had been offered him; and if, indeed, his lucy would love him still, through absence, and distance, and time, he would in a few brief years either send for her to join him, or return for her himself, as circumstances would permit.
pale, rigid, almost breathless, lucy sat while her lover spoke, her hands pressed tightly one over the other, and every feature still almost to sternness; but as he fixed the full glance of his eyes on hers—and they seemed to glisten in tears as he called her name in that accent of love which ever thrilled through her heart and frame—she fell upon his bosom, and, with a passionate burst of weeping, besought him not to leave her. were there not some sweet spots in england—oh! surely there were—where they might live, even with his moderate means, in comparative affluence? solitude, privation—all more welcome, rather than part with him.
“and so sacrifice your first bloom, your glowing youth my lucy, and struggle on through life, wasting your best years, buried in a wild, amid rude boors, who could neither understand nor love you.”
“what care i for others? have i not you, dearest mordaunt? do i seek, ask for, need aught else?”
“for that very love i would not so sacrifice you, sweet one; and—and—oh! lucy, forgive me—man is different to woman. my spirit is restless and ambitious. i could not live in the retirement of an english cottage, and restlessness might seem like irritability; and then—then, lucy, you would—you must cease to love me!”
she lifted up her sweet face, and, oh! the expression of unutterable sadness upon it. a chill had fallen on her yearning heart, stagnating its every bounding pulse—a sickness and dread, more agonizing than parting’s self; for, for the first time, she felt “he does not love as i love;” but she spoke no word, she uttered no sigh—it was but the shadow on that lovely face which betrayed the cloud that had buried the sunshine of her heart; and when with words of repentant agony, almost in tears, mordaunt flung himself on his knees before her, covering her cold hand with kisses, and imploring her not to doubt his love, his truth, because he had thus spoken, she tried to smile, to forget herself for him, drawing from him with such sweet gentleness his plans and wishes, that his spirits returned, and he forgot even the fancy that he had given her pain, or that the word of a moment could break the fond dream of months.
mordaunt lyndsey went to india. we may not linger on that bitter parting, or on the feelings of either save to say, that with mordaunt sorrow was so transient, that ere the long voyage was completed, new scenes, new hopes, new wishes had obtained such dominion there was scarcely a void remaining. with lucy could this be? alas! she was a young and loving woman; and in those words we have our answer. nor was she one who had ever so sought outward excitement and enjoyments, as to find in them relief from anxiety, or rest from sorrow. the simple, trusting religion of her own heart—the refreshing and soothing influences of nature—the calm repose of seeking the happiness of others, of devotion to all who gave her the sweet meed of affection; these were her consolations, and enabled her to meet her heart’s deep loneliness with cheerfulness and smiles. and when mr. lethvyn sunk gradually away, it seemed not only with individual and present sorrows, but with dim forebodings of his child’s future, it was lucy who soothed and comforted her mother, and, by her meek and gentle influence, restored peace and serenity to their lowly cottage, and robbed even the memory of death of its lingering sting.
and towards mordaunt, what were her feelings? though the conviction that his love was not as hers never left her mind, her affection was too pure and true to know the shadow of a change. she thought it was but the diverse nature of man and woman; that the varied pursuits, the very strength of the one prevented the exclusiveness, the devotedness of the other, and her gentle spirit turned longingly to the time when she should be all his own; and, when, perhaps, tired of excitement and ambition, his heart would turn to his home and to herself for rest and peace, and she would be to him, indeed, almost as he had ever been to her.
his truth she never doubted. deception, fickleness, or caprice, unkindness or neglect, were things unknown to her; and how then could she associate them with the earthly idol her soul enshrined? she had carried the guilelessness, the innocence, the freshness of the child into the deeper feelings, the clinging devotedness of the woman. her being was wrapt in the beautiful halo her fancy had flung round another, and did a storm disperse that halo, it would have crushed her in the same destroying blast.
it was this child-like confiding spirit, the rays of her own heart, which shed such warmth and glow over mordaunt’s letters; for by spirits more exacting and suspicious, the vital spark from the heart, giving life to the words of the head, would have been found wanting.
in the second year of their separation, mr. evelyn was raised to a deanery in one of the adjoining counties, and his former living became the property of nevil herbert, who had just received his ordination. again, therefore, was this noble-hearted young man thrown into the closest intimacy with the gentle object of his ill-fated attachment, and in circumstances which could not fail to strengthen its endurance and its force. the barrier between wealth and poverty had been shivered—lucy was now but his equal; nay, circumstances had rather placed him above her. an unexpected legacy, and some recovered debts of his late father, had given him not only independence, but competence; and he could now have offered her the home, the simple comforts and enjoyments which the more he knew her, the more he felt were all she needed for her happiness. her friendship, the regard of her poor widowed mother, the delight with which ever the young margaret welcomed his visits, the consciousness that he was of use to them, all prevented his keeping aloof, as perhaps would have been better for his peace: besides, how could he do so without some cause?—he, whose adversity their prosperity had soothed and blessed! no, better the torture of lingering in her presence, feeling she was the property of another, and that other, one who loved not, valued not as he did, than be, even in seeming, one of the butterfly crowd, who sport in the sunshine to fly from the storm. and though repeatedly alone together, though thrown in constant association, intimate and affectionate, in very truth as a brother with a sister, never once in those eighteen months did nevil herbert, by sign or word, betray to lucy or to any other, even to his much-loved mother, the dread secret which bowed his heart and paled his cheek, and dashed his youth with the calm seriousness—the quiet hush of age.
it was three years after mordaunt lyndsey’s departure that the longed-for summons came. he could not return for her himself, his situation would not permit his absence for so long a time; but if, indeed, she loved him still sufficiently to encounter the miseries of a long voyage, of a life in india, the banishment from mother, sister, friends—all for him alone, the sooner their term of suffering and separation closed, the happier for them both; but if time had cooled the enthusiasm of her love—if one feeling of regret, however faint, bound her to england—one emotion of dread accompanied the idea of the voyage, or the thought of dwelling in a strange and dangerous land—he released her from her engagement. she was free. he besought her to think well ere she decided; that he could not, dared not, urge her to make such a weighty sacrifice for him. he did not dilate on his own feelings, but if lucy marked the omission, she believed he had done so purposely, that no thought of him should bias her decision. yet even what appeared to her guileless spirit his unselfish resignation of personal happiness for her sake, could not remove the bitter anguish it was to feel, that even now, tried as she had been through absence and time, he did not, could not, understand the might, the devotedness of her love.
“i will go to him—he shall learn how much i love him, if he know it not now,” was her inward ejaculation; and at that moment nevil herbert entered the room. she welcomed him gladly, for she needed him even more than usual; and in agitated accents entered at once on the subject which engrossed her, pausing, in sudden fear, as she beheld nevil’s very lips grow white, and the damp drops standing like beads on his high forehead.
“nevil, dear—dear nevil, you are ill; and i, selfish as i am, prevent your going home to rest. you are more than tired. pray let me get something for you.”
she laid both hands on his arms as she spoke, looking up in his agitated face with an expression of such anxious affection, that it was with difficulty nevil could restrain himself from snatching her to his bosom, and pouring forth the agony which at that moment well-nigh prostrated mind and frame; but he did not. even at that moment religion and virtue were triumphant; he conquered the wild impulse of passion, assured her it was but passing faintness, which a glass of water would remove; and when she flew to fetch it, he bowed his head upon his hands in prayer, and, on her return, received it with his own meek, soul-felt smile.
with all the artless confidence of her nature, lucy imparted every feeling which that letter caused, except its pain, for that would seem reproach on mordaunt. she would depart herself for answer—to write first would be but waste of time. the term of parting known, it was better for her mother as for herself to be spared the suffering of anticipation; besides, her uncle only waited for her to set sail for india;—his wife went with him, and such an opportunity might not occur again.
and what could nevil herbert answer? could he reiterate mordaunt’s own counsel, and beseech her to ponder well ere her final decision? a chill for her had fallen on his heart. he bade her repeat again and again that part of lyndsey’s letter which she had confided to him; and each time confirmed the dread conviction, that it was in no spirit of self-sacrifice mordaunt had written, but that the engagement hung upon him as a weight and chain, from which he longed to be released, yet shrunk from the dishonour of breaking it himself. in vain nevil struggled with the idea; it would force itself upon his mind, regard it which way he would. could he but have believed she was going to happiness, he would not have paused till all in his power was done to forward it; but, as it was, the chaos of that fond and faithful heart no words are adequate to describe. he felt she was going to misery, which he was denied all power, all possibility of averting—nay, which he was compelled, by a stern peremptory destiny, to advise and forward.
a few words must suffice to narrate lucy’s departure from her native shores, and uneventful voyage. doting as she did upon her mother, yet so strong, so omnipotent, was that young girl’s love for her betrothed, that even this pang was assuaged by the intense delight which even to think of gazing on his face, of listening to his voice again, never, never more on earth to be divided, emanated over her whole being. the long weary months of the voyage were beguiled by such fond visions; they told of dangers, of hovering storms, and she smiled, as if love could guard her even from these; and the fond fancy was realized, for she reached india in safety.
to mrs. lethvyn and margaret, lucy’s departure was indeed desolation; and as nevil tried to soothe and comfort by the anticipation of her happiness—oh! what a storm of contending feelings crushed his very heart. he heard her mother bewail that love had not sprung up between her lucy and himself; that two beings, each so fitted to form the happiness of the other, fate had so divided; and, though his very spirit trembled, he smiled, and with gentle monition, soothed the momentary irritability by a reference to that wiser, kinder providence, from whom all things, even the darkest, have their source in love.
from a return ship, which had met the syren about two hundred miles from her destined port, the anxious friends of lucy received intelligence of her safety thus far; and nevil nerved his heart and frame to receive, without any visible emotion, the intelligence expected in her next—her arrival and her marriage.
the time seemed unusually long before the indian mail came in; and when he saw by the papers that it had, and the postman passed the vicarage, evidently on his way to the widow’s cottage, nevil felt as if all physical power had departed from him. how long he thus sat he knew not;—the papers on which he had been writing notes for his next sermon were before him, and his mother fancied he was still busied with them. a hurried step aroused him, and margaret lethvyn rushed into the parlour, every feature betraying agitation.
“oh! mr. herbert, come—pray come with me to poor mamma. lucy, our own dear, injured lucy! that wretch—that villain mordaunt! oh! that i were but a man, that i could but seek revenge!”
“margaret!” exclaimed nevil, springing from his seat, and convulsively grasping her arm, his face livid as death, while that of the young, high-spirited margaret glowed like crimson; “revenge! for what? on whom?—what of—of—speak, for god’s sake!”
“he has deceived, has dealt falsely and foully with her—our own lucy; who left friends, home—all, all for him; and loved him with such love! oh! mr. herbert, do not chide me for the sinful feelings, but i must hate him—must pray for vengeance on him. he has deceived her. even when he sent for her, he was married—married to another!”
nevil herbert sunk back on his seat with a groan so deep, a shudder so convulsive, that his mother and margaret flew to his side in terror. it was long ere he could rouse himself; his forebodings all were realized; the blow had fallen; and for lucy—who may tell the agony of nevil’s heart, when he thought of its effect on her?
it was but too true. incapable of any strong or enduring emotion, still seeking and loving worldly aggrandizement above all other consideration, mordaunt lyndsey had not been a year in india before he felt his engagement with lucy as a heavy chain, which he longed to cast aside. he found himself courted and followed; and could he but have stifled the voice of conscience, would have married before the termination of eighteen months. a nature heartless as his own could neither appreciate nor understand the depth of lucy’s. he purposely became colder and colder in his letters, but the warmth and trust of her own heart prevented her perceiving it. he magnified the miseries, the dangers of an indian life, particularly to a female so thoroughly english as lucy; but all was in vain;—every post brought him letters full of love and confidence, as at first. his feeble affections had been transferred to a wealthy heiress, caught by the diamonds which had sparkled in her ball costume. dazzled into forgetfulness of all the past, conscience became drowned in the mad excitement and hilarity with which he pursued his advantage, and not till he was irretrievably engaged, did he remember he was the betrothed of another.
in one part of her statement margaret was wrong. mordaunt was not actually married when he last wrote to lucy. in vain even his heartless nature struggled to write those words which could separate her from him for ever. for the first time the full extent of her love seemed to rush upon him, and he started up, and cursed his evil stars for making him such a wretch. for a moment, the idea of dissolving his present engagement entered his mind; but ere he reached the door, a vision of gold and gems, of untold wealth, came upon him, and the demon triumphed. his better angel fled; and he wrote to lucy, as we have seen, believing, with pertinacious self-delusion, that his meaning would be so evident that she would break off the engagement herself—she must read that he was changed. at least she would write again ere she decided on leaving england, and then it would be easy for him to prevent it; and confiding in this, not a month after his letter had been despatched, the heiress became mordaunt lyndsey’s wife.
our tale is well-nigh done, for to breathe one word of lucy’s feelings would be profanation. in vain her aunt and uncle conjured her to remain with them in india, and prove how little mordaunt’s baseness had affected her, by a speedy marriage with another, above him alike in birth, wealth, and station; for such unions in india were easily accomplished. by some, perhaps, the proposal would have been seized with avidity, and a broken heart effectually concealed beneath an outward show of prosperity and pride. with lucy this could not be. the storm had burst, the halo was dissipated; its beauty and its sunshine, its purity and truth, vanished like falling stars in the dark abyss of fathomless space; and the gentle spirit, folded in the glowing halo, lay shrined ’neath the shock. her yearnings were now for home, for a mother’s tenderness, a sister’s caressing love, a brother’s supporting friendship, which would lead her failing heart up to the only fount of peace. and, after a long and weary interval—a voyage, whose many dangers, delays, and all but shipwreck, were, it seemed, as unfelt as unnoticed—those yearnings were at length fulfilled.
again was lucy lethvyn an inmate of her mother’s lowly roof; but oh! how unspeakably changed, yet still so exquisitely, so radiantly lovely, that the eye turned again and again upon her, first in delight, and then with such a strange quivering of the lip and eyelid, betraying that tears were nigh. the smile—oh! what a history gleamed from it, of a woman’s heart broken, yet even from its every shivered fragment reflecting the quickness and confidence—aye, and deep heavenly love, which had descended on it from above. not a bitter word, not an unkind reflection, not a selfish murmur ever escaped those lips. those who loved and tended her alone occupied her thoughts and deeds. there were times, indeed, when a paroxysm of mental agony came upon her, bowing her fragile frame even to the dust; but of these intervals no earthly eye was witness. they were only marked by a rapid increase of exhaustion, and all the fatal evidences of decline and death; and so months passed. and nevil, may we write of him, as day by day he watched over the fading form of one so long, so secretly, so unchangeably beloved. alas! for him, even as for lucy, silence is the most eloquent. we do not give such feelings words.
autumn had come with a mildness and beauty unusual and most soothing. lucy’s couch had been drawn to the window at her own request, and her eyes wandered over the landscape with a pleased and quiet smile. nevil herbert was alone beside her; he had been reading from that blessed book which had given comfort and strength to both, but had paused, seeing her inclined to speak.
“yes!” she exclaimed, the fervour of her spirit flushing her cheek with sudden crimson, “yes! his words and works alike proclaim him love! oh, nevil! god has heard my prayer. he has spared me till i could realize the beauty and goodness, and the glory of this world. there was a time when, outward and inward—all was dark. not a ray illumined the sluggish depths of misery and despair. beauty had vanished with truth. i prayed for death; and once, as i stood alone upon the deck, the dread temptation was upon me to end misery and life together. it was but one plunge, one little moment’s resolution, and all would be over. all! oh, what a flash of bewildering and awful light burst upon my mental darkness, sent as an angel of mercy to my soul! i had loved a mortal, and not god! the world was beautiful with human love—not with his, from whom it sprang;—and the light of human love was quenched, to teach me other things: and then it was i prayed, in the deep agony of remorse, my god would spare me, even in suffering, till even this world were lovely to my heart once more; till i could feel his love more deep, more precious, than the love of man. and he has done this, nevil, dearest nevil. a few, a very few hours, and i shall be with him whose all is joy, and loveliness, and love, for ever and ever.”
there was no answer, and lucy turned with difficulty towards him. his face was buried in his hands, and his whole frame shaken as with convulsion.
“nevil,” she said, softly, “dearest nevil, you are in sorrow, and i can do nothing to relieve it; i—to whom you have been such a true consoling friend. i have long feared you had some secret grief; not in the selfishness of my joy, but since—since i have returned. oh, that i could be to you what you have been to me!”
it was too much for nevil. in the passionate emotion of that moment, he flung himself on his knees beside the couch, poured forth the torrent of that overwhelming love—how it had lingered with him through years of hopelessness and misery; and he besought her, in agony, to say that she would live—live to bless him yet; and, as he spoke, the pious, the strong-hearted nevil herbert wept, till, as an infant, his very soul seemed powerless within him.
“and you have loved me thus!—you, the good, the noble, the exalted! oh! i thought human love was all an idle dream—a vain delusion; but it is not—it is not. even this may be beautiful and true,” murmured lucy, raising herself with difficulty till her head rested on the bosom of nevil. “do not—do not weep, nevil! our father will bring peace and love. and, oh! if the pure and ransomed spirits may hover beside those still lingering on this earth, be it mine the blessed task of bringing you the comfort i would give you now. i was never worthy of such love—and from you, dearest nevil!—how much less worthy now, that even, were life granted, i could give but a broken heart, whose all of life and energy had been devoted to another. you must not weep for me, nevil! you must not let my memory blight your path of holiness and good. think of all you have been to me, have done for me; and—and if that will comfort you, oh! believe all—all of love this aching heart may yet give to earth, nevil, dearest nevil! is your own!”
she raised that sweet face, which had become suddenly pale and dim, as if a shadow had stolen over it. nevil clasped her convulsively to his heart, and struggled vainly to speak; his white and quivering lips pressed hers with a long, lingering kiss, and she shrunk not from them. it was his first and last; for sleep stole upon her, and bowed her head more heavily, more caressingly upon his bosom. and nevil stilled his heart’s full beating, and hushed his very breath, lest that calm slumber should be broken. he yearned to look once more in those lovely eyes, to drink in once, but once again, the gushing music of that thrilling voice; but vain those mortal yearnings. human love, the purest, mightiest, has no power to chain the heaven-born spirit from its soaring flight. she never woke again!
and mordaunt lyndsey—was there no vengeance, no retribution for him? did justice indeed so slumber? long years rolled on ere aught could be distinguished to mark his prosperous path from that of his fellows; but some twenty years after our “autumn walk” in the lovely vales of westmoreland, we learned that the hand of heaven had dashed his lot with poison. a blooming family had sprung up around him; but each more or less touched by the malady of their mother. he had wedded madness!