my new ship—sail for belize—native and alligator—sail for england with convoy of ships—hear of peace being signed between spain and england—arrive in england—paid off at sheerness—return home—tired of country life—apply for ship—appointed to h.m.s. apelles.

the sloop of war i now commanded was a fine sixteen-gun brig carrying twenty-four-pound-carronades, with a crew of one hundred and twenty as fine men as any in the fleet. they had been some time together, and only wished for an opportunity of making the splinters fly out of a frenchman’s side, and hauling down his tricoloured piece of bunting. i found on my reaching port royal that admiral rowley had arrived to supersede admiral dacres. in the afternoon i dined with both admirals, and met the duke of manchester, who was a fine-looking man, but unfortunately had a nervous affection of the head. he asked me several questions respecting the different islands, and appeared amused by my description of them. after we had refitted we sailed for honduras, the admiral first taking from me the master, without appointing another, for which i did not thank him. we made the swan islands, which are small, uninhabited, and surrounded by a [pg 270]reef of coral, and on the morning of the third day anchored off the town at the mouth of the belize river. colonel drummond, who was the commanding officer, received us very civilly, and requested i would dine with him as often as i could. a deputation of the merchants waited on me to say the convoy would be ready in a fortnight. i dined frequently at the military mess, and found the officers generally gentlemanly. i gave two parties on board, but as i had no music there was no dancing. we revelled in calepache and calapee, and i think some of the city aldermen would have envied us the mouthfuls of green fat we swallowed. i made an excursion up the river with colonel drummond in a scow, a flat boat so called, or rather float, and slept at a pavilion he had on the bank of it. i shall never forget my nocturnal visitors, the bull-frogs, who, sans fa?on, jumped about the room as if dancing a quadrille, not to my amusement but their own, making a most unmusical noise to the tune of something like, “pay your debts, pay your debts, pay your debts.” after the third croak they paused, probably to give time for everybody to become honest. i made daily excursions to the neighbouring quays, and picked up a quantity of beautiful shells.

dining one day with colonel drummond, i remarked that the black servant who stood near me had a piebald neck, and mentioned it as something singular. “why,” said the colonel, “thereby hangs a very curious tale, and not a pleasant one to [pg 271]him, poor fellow. he is a native of panama, and formerly was employed to float rafts of mahogany down the belize river. he is an expert canoe-man and something of a carpenter, and as he was a free man i took him into my household. at my request he related to me the cause of those white marks on his neck. it was thus. as he and another black man were floating down the river on a large raft of mahogany, it being sunday he wished to bathe, and jumped into the river for that purpose. as he was swimming after the raft, which was close to the mangroves, and had nearly reached it, a large alligator seized him by the neck. he roared most piteously; the animal, either alarmed at the noise he made, or wishing to have a more convenient grip, threw him up, and in so doing he fortunately fell on the raft. his companion bound up his wounds, which were deep, and soon after he arrived at belize he was sent to the hospital, when, on his recovery, he became my servant.” “it was a most providential escape,” exclaimed i. “indeed it was,” replied the colonel, “and so he thinks himself.” on reaching the ship in the evening i found a beautiful mahogany canoe alongside, and on entering my cabin the steward brought me a glass globe containing two panama tortoises, which, when full-grown, are richly marked and not larger than a crown piece. the native name of these pretty animals is chinqua. they were a present from captain bromley. at the time appointed, seven vessels, deeply laden with mahogany, were ready for [pg 272]sea. i spent the last day on shore, dined at the military mess, bade adieu to all my red-coat friends, and the following morning got under weigh with my haystack convoy for england.

we doubled cape antonio on the third day, and when off the havannah we perceived a frigate standing out of the harbour. we concluded she was spanish. i consulted the officers respecting the probability of taking her by laying her alongside and boarding her. they thought it might be effected. i turned the hands up and acquainted them of my intention. three hearty cheers was the response. we prepared for action, and stood towards her. we were three gunshots from her when it fell calm, as well as dusk, and about an hour afterwards a large boat came near us. we presumed she was a spanish gunboat, and had taken us for a merchant vessel. i let her come alongside, having the marines ready to give them a reception when they boarded, and to quietly disarm and hand them down the hatchway. the first man who came up was a lieutenant of our service. “hulloa, sir, how is this, and where have you come from?” said i. “from the melpomene,” replied he, “the frigate you see off the havannah.” “this is a terrible disappointment,” resumed i. “we had made up our minds to board and, if possible, carry that frigate, supposing her spanish.” “why, sir,” said he, “we yesterday carried the disagreeable news to the governor of cuba of a spanish peace, and seeing you with [pg 273]a convoy, captain parker despatched me with some letters for england, if you will have the goodness to take charge of them.” “willingly,” replied i, “and pray acquaint him with our mortification.”

he shortly after left us, and we proceeded through the gulf with the convoy. nothing of any importance transpired during our passage of nine long, tedious weeks, when we anchored in the downs, where i got rid of all our snail-sailing mahogany haystacks. the three days we lay in the downs i took up my quarters at the “hoop and griffin.” bread and butter, with delicious oysters, were my orders of the day, but, alas, my former pretty maid was no longer there. she was married, had children, and i sincerely hope was happy. on the same floor, the father-in-law to the first lord of the admiralty, with his daughter and niece, had taken up their abode for a few days on their return journey to london from a tour in wales. before i was acquainted with this information, seeing a carriage at the door and an old gentleman with two ladies alight from it, i asked the waiter who they were. he answered he did not know, but that they had arrived yesterday and that the gentleman appeared much out of spirits, and one of the ladies very much out of health. the purser had been dining with me, and we were enjoying our wine, when i said to the waiter, in a half-joking manner, “give my compliments to the old gentleman, and request him to hand himself in, that we may have a look at him.” he fulfilled [pg 274]his commission, although i did not intend he should do so, to the letter, and in walked a stately, gentlemanly-looking man, about seventy. he gave us a look that appeared to say, “surely this is some mistake, i know you not.” on perceiving his embarrassment i advanced towards him, and begged, although there was some little mistake, that if he were not engaged, he would do me the favour to take a glass of wine. “i see,” said he, “you are officers of the navy,” and without further hesitation, sat down and became quite cheerful. in the course of conversation he informed me that he had tried the air of wales for the benefit of his daughter, who was married to a captain in the navy, and that his other daughter was married to lord mulgrave, first lord of the admiralty. i told him we had come from the west indies and were going to sail for sheerness in the morning; that if he thought his daughter would like to go so far on her journey by sea, instead of by land, my cabin was entirely at his service. he thanked me cordially, but declined it. after finishing a brace of decanters of wine he took his leave, first giving me his address in london. a month afterwards i heard of his death.

the following morning we sailed, and arrived at sheerness next day, when i received orders to pay off the ship, in consequence of her being iron-fastened and wanting so much repair. she was afterwards sold out of the service. i need not say i was much disappointed, and thought the builder at [pg 275]port royal something of an old woman, and only fit for superannuation. i found one of my old captains commissioner at this place, to whom i gave a turtle, a pig, and a bag of bread dust, for he thought one without the other useless, and for which he did not even invite me to his house. “oh, what is friendship but a name that lulls the fool to sleep,” etc. on the sixth day the ship was put out of commission and myself out of full pay. i took a postchaise with my light luggage, and i arrived in the evening at my dear home, kissed my wife and all the women i could meet with that were worth the trouble, sat myself down in a snug elbow-chair near a comfortable english fire, told a long, tough yarn about mountains of sugar and rivers of rum, bottle-nosed porpoises, sharks, grampuses, and flying-fish, until i fell sound asleep, but, however, not so sound to prevent my hearing my best end of the ship whispering to someone to put more coals on the fire, and roast a chicken for my supper, and then she added, with her dear, musical, soft voice, “dear fellow! how sound he sleeps. i hope he will awake quite refreshed, and eat his supper with a good appetite. how rejoiced i am he is once more at home.” i could have jumped up and hugged her, but i thought it better to enjoy my sleep. if this narrative meets the eye of a bachelor sailor i could wish him to splice himself to such another clean-looking frigate as my wife, but mind, not without he has a purse well filled with the right sort, and as long at least as the maintop bowline, [pg 276]or two cables spliced on end. love is very pretty, very sentimental, and sometimes very romantic, but love without rhino is bewildering misery.

when i awoke next morning i scarcely could believe my senses, it appeared too much happiness. the élite of the village favoured me with calls and congratulations, as well as invitations to tea and petit soupers, with a seasoning of scandal. i in return entertained them occasionally with a few king’s yarns, which, my gentle reader, are not tarred, and are what the seamen vulgarly call rogue’s yarns, so called because one or more are twisted in large ropes and cables made in the king’s dockyards, to distinguish them from those made in the merchants’ yards, and should they be embezzled or clandestinely sold, the rogue’s or white yarn is evidence against the possessor. i had been some months on shore when i began to get tired of looking at green fields and grass combers, and longed to be once more on the salt seas. my family had increased to seven boys and girls, and i thought it criminal to be longer idle, and, after many applications, mr. yorke, the first lord of the admiralty, favoured me with an appointment to command a sloop of war on the downs station.

i joined her in the cold, uncomfortable month of december. the weather was remarkably severe, and it was five days before i could get a launch to put me on board her. at length i made my footing on the quarter-deck. the first lieutenant received me and informed me the captain was unwell in the [pg 277]cabin, but that he wished to see me. i descended into a complete den, filled with smoke and dirt. the first object i perceived looming through the dense vapour was the captain’s nose, which was a dingy red. his linen was the colour of chocolate, his beard had, i presumed, a month’s growth. i informed him of my errand, to which he answered with something like a growl. as it was impossible to remain in the cabin without a chance of being suffocated, i begged him, if he possibly could, to accompany me to the quarter-deck. he followed me with a slow step. i expressed my wish to have my commission read. he then gave orders to the first lieutenant to turn the hands up. after this ceremony i took the command, made a short speech to the crew, in which i assured them they should have every indulgence the service afforded. i then turned to my predecessor, and asked him when he wished to leave the ship. he informed me that to-morrow would suit him. i gave the necessary orders and went on shore. the admiral, sir g. campbell, received me very kindly, and invited me to dinner, where i met lady c., the admiral’s wife, a ladylike, pleasant person. the dinner party consisted of brother officers. the admiral was a quiet, gentlemanly, pleasing man, and a distinguished and good officer. as i sat next him he was kind enough to inform me that the captain of the sloop i superseded was considered out of his mind, that the officers had represented to him that the discipline on board her was worse than on a privateer, and [pg 278]that he would neither punish for insubordination nor have the decks washed. “in consequence of which,” continued the admiral, “i was obliged to order a court of inquiry. the report was to his disadvantage; he was advised to go on shore, to which, after some hesitation, he consented, and another captain was applied for. you have superseded him, and i make no doubt you will soon make her once more a man-of-war.” i thanked him for his kind communication, and assured him that zeal on my part should not be wanting to make her equal to one of his best cruisers. on rejoining the ship, as i had been the first lieutenant for five years in former ships, i told the officers i wished to make my own observation on the men’s conduct, and i would endeavour to effect a reform when i found it necessary. the officers, with the exception of the master, who was a rough, practical seaman, were gentlemanly, well-informed men, and i was not surprised at their wishing to get rid of their insane chief, although, in any other case, it might have proved to them a difficult and probably a dangerous experiment. a few days afterwards i called on him. i found him in small lodgings in an obscure part of the town. i was accompanied by captain j., an old messmate of his in former times. he neither knew us nor asked us to take a seat. he had a large loaf under his left arm, and in his right hand a dinner knife. he appeared to wear the same chocolate-coloured chemise and beard, his stockings were down over his shoes, and [pg 279]his clothes all over flue. we wished him health and happiness, to which he returned no answer, but began cutting his loaf. the people of the house told us he would neither wash himself nor take his clothes off when going to bed, but that he was perfectly quiet. i understood, before i sailed, that his sister had come from the north of england to stay with him, and that she had been of great use to him.