return under jury-masts to england—arrive at spithead—the admiral, the middy, and the dirk—join h.m.s. diamond as first lieutenant—attached to lord st. vincent’s fleet off brest—a change of captains—weary waiting for an enemy who never came.

a few days after we sailed, with three other line of battle ships, under jury-masts, for old england. on our passage we spoke a frigate, who informed us that sir richard strachan had taken the four sail of the line which had escaped from the french fleet. we were delighted as well as “dicky strong,” and gave three hearty cheers. on the eighth day we arrived at spithead, and were cheered by all the ships lying there, which we returned. some of the fleet had, we thought, made rather a show of their shot-holes, but our commodore declared that “good wine needed no bush.” our shot-holes, of which we had a good share, were painted over and not perceptible at any distance. the captain left us, and was heartily cheered as he left the ship. as soon as we were in the harbour i had permission from the admiralty to return home for a month.

i found my sweetest half (for i had, without knowing why or wherefore, become a benedict) [pg 223]in much anxiety, as our ship had been reported lost. she put into my arms a dear little black-eyed girl, who was born a week after the action. after spending three delightful weeks, the happiest of the happy, i tore myself away. on my rejoining the ship i found her in dock, and all the crew on board a hulk. i now became commanding officer, as the first lieutenant had leave of absence. i have here to remark that forty seamen and ten marines had leave to go to their families and friends for three weeks or a month, according to the distance, and out of six hundred men only one desertion occurred. i mention this circumstance to prove that seamen, when they become accustomed to a man-of-war, have no dislike to her discipline, provided they are properly encouraged when deserving, and the cat is only used when it is absolutely necessary, which was the case in our ship. seamen are too valuable to be ill used.

admiral montague was the commander-in-chief at this port, and sir isaac coffin, of inspecting memory, the rear-admiral. one morning one of the midshipmen, in stepping into the dockyard boat, had the misfortune to lose his dirk overboard. as it was blowing strong, he could not return to the hulk to borrow another. he consequently went to the yard without one. the rear-admiral, who was always in search of adventure, met him. “hulloa! officer,” said he; “why are you without side arms?” the youngster [pg 224]related what had happened. “then, sir,” said he, “you must buy another as fast as you can.” “i have no money, sir,” replied the mid, “and i know no one here.” “then i will put you in the way to get one. come with me to my office.” the youngster followed him, and received the address of a sword cutler. “and tell him,” said sir isaac, “from me that you are to have a dirk. but,” added he, “i had better write my name; he will then know i sent you.” next morning the mid lost no time in repairing to the shop of the vendor of slaying instruments. he produced the rear-admiral’s paper. the cutler at first hesitated. at length he said, “do you pay for it?” “no,” answered the mid, “not till i return from my next cruise.” “oh, never mind,” said the man of cut and thrust; “sir isaac has signed the paper, and he will, of course, be responsible. what kind of dirk do you wish to have?” “oh, a good one,” returned the mid; “one at about forty shillings.” it was given him; he gave his name and ship, and left the shop. in a few days after this an order came on board from the admiral to discharge a lieutenant and a midshipman into another ship bound to the west indies. the sixth lieutenant and this youngster were selected. about four months afterwards the bill was sent to the rear-admiral for payment of the dirk. it was naturally refused. some months passed, when the bill was again presented and refused. the poor mid was far away and not forthcoming, although he fully intended, had he [pg 225]not been so suddenly exiled, to pay it when he was able. the cutler now brought an action against the rear-admiral, and he was, as he had put his name to the paper, obliged to pay the account.

the shipwrights and carpenters having repaired the ship, she was hauled alongside the hulk, and in ten days was as majestic as ever. another captain was appointed, and i was ordered to join the diamond frigate, as first lieutenant, off brest. i took an affectionate leave of my messmates, and procured a passage on board a passage-sloop going to plymouth. we sailed in the evening, through the needles passage, and when off the shingles the head of the mast went in the hounds. after much exertion we got the main-sail out of the water, and the try-sail set. we reached, to my great joy, portland roads on the third day, where, as i found myself rather queerish on board the sloop, i salaamed the skipper of her, and mounted a horse, which they assured me was quiet enough to carry the parson. with this assurance, which was corroborated by three old men and two young women, i trusted myself once more on a horse’s back. a brother officer, who was also going to join a ship at plymouth, accompanied me. we dined at weymouth, saw gloucester lodge, had a somersault, to the terror and astonishment of the lady housekeeper and servants, on all the princesses’ beds, viewed the closet of odd-and-end old china belonging to the amiable princess elizabeth, thought ourselves an inch taller when [pg 226]we sat ourselves down in the chair in which the good king dined at one o’clock, generally off a boiled leg of mutton and turnips, so we were informed, and in the evening hired a post-chaise and arrived at dorchester, where we took the mail for plymouth. on reaching the latter place we repaired to the admiral’s office, where, as there was no present opportunity of joining my new ship, i remained five days, calling on my old acquaintances and talking of old times.

one day we made an excursion to plympton, and entered a neat farmer’s house. we inquired if we could be provided with some home-baked brown bread, and milk from the cow. the farmer’s wife, who was a hale, buxom, youngish-looking woman, and had only nine children, brought out chairs and benches. we had some madeira with us, and we made delicious whip-syllabub. the nice, well-baked and wholesome brown loaves, with the milk and cream, were too good for city aldermen, but quite good enough for sailors. we did ample justice to the good wife’s fare, of which she partook with her mother, who was sixty-five, and had eleven boys and nine girls all living. nine of the former were on board different men-of-war, and the other two working with their father on the farm. “and,” added the poor woman, with an anxious, smiling face, “whenever we see a squadron of king’s ships arrive we expect a son.” the girls, with the exception of three who were married, were out in respectable families. we made a trifling purse, [pg 227]which we gave to a fine boy about eleven years old for himself and brothers; recompensed our good hostess, shook hands, and departed in peace and good fellowship.

two days later i went on board the alexandria frigate for a passage to my proper ship, which we fell in with soon afterwards off the black rocks. i found her a fine, first-class frigate, but, alas! i also found she only sailed like the launch, stern foremost. the captain, a jolly, little, fresh-faced, rather corpulent man, welcomed me with a smile, and after a short conversation relating to the ship he inquired the news, on which i presented him with the latest newspaper. the surgeon, a delicate, pale young man, came up to me and asked me to the gun-room. on entering it he introduced me to my future messmates. the second lieutenant was a fine-looking young man, highly connected, but unfortunately disgusted with the service, and too fond of a very strong north-wester, which soon destroyed him, as he died a few months after i joined the frigate. the third lieutenant was a person of great consequence in his own opinion, and always imagined himself in the right. he was, nevertheless, an active officer and knew his duty. the master was a hardy north countryman, and knew what he was about. the marine officer was a well-informed, sensible man; the mids were a fine set of lads, ripe for mischief and alert on duty. the ship’s company were, generally speaking, good and [pg 228]willing seamen, and i thought myself fortunate in being first lieutenant of such a ship and of having intellectual messmates.

we were placed as one of the look-out frigates to watch the enemy’s vessels in brest. the fleet was under the command of the brave and persevering earl st. vincent, whose laws were those of the medes and persians in days of yore. implicit obedience and non-resistance was his device, and woe to those who were disobedient. my messmates gave me the outline of the captain’s character. they informed me he was more cut out for a country gentleman than the captain of a man-of-war, that he was very partial to a good dinner—“show me the man who is not,” interrupted i;—that he was highly nervous, and that he left everything to the first lieutenant, except the discipline of his cook. “so be it,” cried i, “i think we shall accord.” about ten days after being on board he sent for me into his cabin. “now,” said he to me, “mr. hoffman, we have had time enough to know each other. i approve of your method of carrying on the duty, and from henceforth i shall consider you as sailing, and myself as fighting, captain.” i thanked him for the confidence he reposed in me, and assured him that, being very partial to the profession, i never was happier than when in the path of duty. he then mentioned he was not fond of punishment with the cat. i informed him that, having been first lieutenant for nearly three years of a former ship, i would submit to his inspection [pg 229]a code of minor punishments which had proved beneficial to her discipline. “did you not use the cat at all?” demanded he. “never,” returned i, “except for theft, drunkenness at sea and intentional disobedience of orders. on these occasions the punishment was severe, and they very seldom happened.”

when the wind was light, we generally anchored about two gun-shots from the shore, and in the evening the crew danced or got up a kind of farce, which was farcical enough. after seven long, lazy, tedious weeks, we were ordered to plymouth to refit. we flew like a shovel-nosed barge against tide, and reached hamoaze on the evening of the third day. reader, i do not know whether you were ever at plymouth. if you have not, go there. it is in a beautiful country, and very healthy. the people are very civil, and until the taxes and poor rates became so high, were very hospitable. even in the poorest cottager’s hut, if you happened to call at their dinner-hour, you were invited, with a hearty “do ye, god bless ye, sit down and take some-at. there be more than we can eat.” we frequently made social picnic parties to the small farmhouses. i have heard sailors declare they would rather be hanged in their native country than die a natural death in any other. it is not very agreeable to be hanged even in paradise, but i certainly prefer residing in the neighbourhood of plymouth to any other part of england. the month we were in harbour vanished like a dream. [pg 230]we cast off the moorings, and soon after anchored at spithead.

the following week we were again on the siberian or black rock station. one night, in consequence of a light westerly wind with a heavy swell and a counter current, we had drifted so near the south-west end of ushant that we were obliged to let go an anchor in rocky ground. for more than six hours it was a question whether the cable would part or hold on: had the latter occurred, the frigate must have gone on shore. after hoping, wishing and expecting a breeze from the eastward, it made its appearance by cat’s-paws. we weighed, and found the cackling and one strand of the cable cut through. as the wind freshened we worked up to our old station off point st. matthew, and anchored. the following morning we reconnoitred brest, could make out fourteen of the enemy’s ships of the line with their top-gallant yards crossed, and five others refitting. the same day a cutter joined us with our letters and two bullocks. after cruising between ushant and the saints, the small rocky island beriguet and douarnenez bay, until we were tired of seeing them, we, at the expiration of two months, were again ordered to plymouth to refit, but not before the considerate old earl had taken from us thirty of our best seamen, which so much pleased our noble captain that he declared if he was ordered to rejoin the channel fleet he would give up the frigate. after having refitted, to our great mortification we [pg 231]were again under orders for the detestable station off brest. the captain wrote to be superseded, and as there was no lack of sharp half-pay skippers looking-out, his request was immediately complied with.

his successor was a shambling, red-nosed, not sailor-like looking man, who had persuaded a counterpart of himself, the village barber, to accompany him as his steward. sure such a pair was never seen before! the hands were turned up and his commission read. “well, my men,” said he, addressing the crew, “i understand you know how to do your duty, therefore my advice to you is to do it. that’s all,” said he to me; “pipe down if you please, sir,” and after adding, “we shall sail to-morrow morning, and i shall be on board in the evening,” he ordered a cutter to be manned, and went on shore. at the time appointed we were under weigh, and three days afterwards off the black rocks, which made us look black enough. the enemy’s fleet were much in the same state, with little prospect of their coming out. easterly winds were prevalent, and we were generally at anchor, one half of the ship’s company doing nothing, and the other helping them. i soon found that our noble commander was fond of the game of chess and a stiff glass of grog, and i frequently found him en chemise with those companions at daylight on one of the cabin lockers. he was an unmarried man, but a great admirer of the fair sex [pg 232]of all descriptions, and was sometimes heard to say he was astonished at their want of taste in not admiring him. he was not altogether an unread man, but his manners were like his dress, slovenly, and too often coarse. he had been, when he was a lieutenant, in command of a cutter, and afterwards of a lugger. there, the mids declared, he ought to have remained, as he was out of his element on the quarter-deck of a fine frigate. they were not singular in their opinion. he was, without exception, the most slovenly officer i ever had the misfortune to sail with. i am probably rather severe. his only redeeming quality was certainly good nature. he, unfortunately for himself and in some measure for the service, courted a kind of left-handed popularity amongst the seamen, and neglected the officers. the consequence was, that in less than two months the discipline of the ship became so relaxed that the crew, from being one of the smartest in the fleet, was now the slackest. after a disagreeable cruise of nine weeks, in which time we had carried away the main and foretop-masts, we were ordered to portsmouth. after refitting we joined another frigate to cruise off havre de grace, where the enemy had two frigates and a corvette nearly ready for sea. we were shortly after joined by a sloop of war. at the full and change of the moon we always anchored inside the cape, in order to watch the enemy’s motions more effectively, and, when under weigh, we sometimes trawled and dredged, and frequently caught [pg 233]sufficient fish for the whole crew, as well as a quantity of oysters.

on one unlucky evening we ran on board the sloop of war, carried away the mainmast, and destroyed a part of her upper works. fortunately for the officer of the watch the captain was on deck, and had been giving orders respecting the sails, which took the responsibility from the shoulders of the former. the sloop was so ill-treated by us that she was, without delay, obliged to proceed to portsmouth. a few days after this accident we were ordered to the same port. on our arrival a court of inquiry sat to investigate the reason why the mainmast of one of his majesty’s cruisers should be so unceremoniously knocked away by the jib-boom of another. the answers not being quite satisfactory our captain was reprimanded and the other admonished. we sailed shortly after, and resumed our station. of all duties imposed on an active mind blockading vessels in an enemy’s port, from whence there is not much probability of their sailing, is the most tiresome. the mids declared that had patient job been on board the ten weeks we were off havre he would have lost his patience in the fifth week and thrown up his commission. after a lazy cruise of nearly eleven weeks the frigate once more sat like a duck at spithead.