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Julia France and Her Times

Chapter 11
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they spent the rest of their week at partenkirchen, a village in a mountain valley, surrounded by a chain of glittering peaks. the village was little more than one steep street bordered by inns and shops, but there were farms in the valley and on the nearer hillsides. the natives wore high fur caps, not unlike the cossack headgear, and seemed to exist for decorative purposes only, although alive to the lure of tourist silver. the hotel at the top of the street was very modern, with a good cook, little balconies for those that would enjoy the view, and many nooks in the rooms downstairs for those that would talk unhindered if not unseen. at this season there were no other english or americans, but a sufficient number of europeans of the leisure class to make the dining-room brilliant at night and animated at all times.

julia and ishbel had provided themselves with short white skirts of thick material, white men’s sweaters, and white tam o’ shanters. the men couldn’t wear white, but looked their best, as men always do, in rough mountaineering costume. they climbed, skated, skied, and tobogganed; and, under julia’s gentle manipulation, kept close together. it was natural that tay should fall to ishbel in their outings, and only once or twice did he manage to drag julia’s sled up the hill, or direct her uncertain footsteps when on the snow-shoes. then she was so excited with the new sport that she paid little attention to him. she threw herself into it with the zest of a child, and he couldn’t flatter himself that her merry laugh was forced, nor the dancing lights in her eyes. nor was he depressed himself by any means; the tonic air went to the heads of all of them, and they enjoyed themselves with an abandon possible only to those that have seen too much of life.

but on the last day, ishbel, who saw through julia’s man?uvres, deliberately stayed in bed with a headache, and dark, without warning of his intention, departed early with a guide. tay and julia met alone at the breakfast table.

“now!” he said gayly. “i’ve got you. what are you going to do about it? if you shut yourself up in your room, i’ll break the door down.”

“as if i’d do anything so silly. how i wish we could stay here a month.”

“why not?”

“i left no address, and i may have stayed too long already?—”

“sh-h!”

“you could not, either.”

“oh, yes, i could. dark has been pulling wires, and i’m dead sure now that the thing will go through.”

“i’m so glad! but no doubt you could have managed it by yourself sooner or later. i fancy you’ll always be a success in business.”

“thanks. if you mean to insinuate that business and cards are in the same class, i’m not a bit discouraged.”

“pour me out another cup of coffee. i believe american men like to wait on women.”

“it’s part of our game. you see how honest i am. you’ll marry me without illusions.”

“shall you boss me frightfully?” julia looked at him over her cup, and he nearly dropped his. he kept his bantering tone, however.

“the more you do for me, the more i’ll spoil you. it will be quite an exciting race. how should you like being spoiled for a change?”

“it would be glorious. so irresponsible.”

“exactly. that’s what makes many a man get drunk. few sensations so delightful as that of complete irresponsibility.”

“do you get drunk?” asked julia, in mock alarm.

“gorgeously. am i not a good san franciscan? not too often, however. bad for business.”

“you never told me if you went on that spree when you got those ten thousand dollars. or didn’t you get it? perhaps you anticipated, and your father wouldn’t—what did you call it—plunk?”

“i didn’t, and he did, and i did. i whooped it up for just five days. to tell you the truth, i didn’t find as much in it as i expected, but felt i owed it to myself. wish now i’d come over and eloped with you.”

“ah!” julia made a rapid mental calculation. he would have arrived at about the time nigel was laying his last desperate siege. poor nigel! julia could picture tay’s wooing and methods. would he have won where her more courtly knight had failed?

“suppose i had never turned up?” asked tay, abruptly. “that husband of yours can’t live forever, is many years older than you, anyhow. do you fancy you would have eventually married herbert? corking books! he must be some man.”

julia had flushed to her hair. “how did you know i was thinking of him?” she stammered.

“were you? well, those flashes happen, you know. you haven’t answered my question.”

“it is quite impossible for me to tell, even to imagine, what i might have done if you—well, if you had not come over again. i’ve never really thought of marrying nigel, but there would be a certain rest in it—not now, but later, perhaps. and we think and work with much the same objects.”

“nothing in rest till you’ve had the other thing first. how much thinking did you expend on that other thing before you were submerged in the unmentionable?”

julia blushed again, then laughed. “oh, well—some day, i’ll tell you a funny experience i had in india.”

“tell me now.”

“over empty coffee-cups and fragments of buttered rolls? not i. what shall we do first? skate?”

“if you like. do you want to toboggan afterward?”

“i think i’d like a tramp through the woods. we’ve never really investigated them.”

“good. come along.”

they found the lake deserted and skated in silence until tay remembered her promise.

“this is a sufficiently romantic spot for confidences,” he observed. “and in full view of the waiters of the hotel, who appear to have nothing to do but watch us. tell me your indian experience. whom did you think you were in love with over there?”

“nobody. that was the trouble.”

“did he love and ride away, perhaps? that’s just the sort of experience you need.”

“well, i’ve never had it,” said julia, indignantly.

“a man never minds telling when he’s been left, but i doubt if a woman ever admits it even to herself. you’re weak-kneed creatures, the best of you, and need nine-tenths of all the vanity there is in the world to keep going.”

“i believe you really despise women. but you’re just the sort that couldn’t live without them.”

“right and wrong. i shan’t explain that cryptic statement. fire away.”

“you’ll laugh at me.”

“if i really could laugh at you, i’d be half cured. i try, but it does no good. what would be funny in another woman is tragic in you—and pathetic.”

“ah?” she was prepared to be indignant again, but met a new expression in the eyes with which he was intently regarding her. “what do you mean by that? i am not to be pitied.”

“you poor isolated child! i’ve never felt sorrier for anybody in my life. but never mind. tell me your indian experience.”

“well—one night—a warm heavenly indian night—i was alone in a boat on a lake. there was a great marble palace at one end. the nightingales were singing in the forest; and such perfumes!”

“gorgeous! why wasn’t i there? some fun, love-making in southern asia. but this is just the setting for real enjoyment of the story. go ahead.”

“yes, i never could be in a sentimental mood in this temperature. well, i was completely happy—i had been happy for nearly a year in india, enjoying its strange beauty and never wishing for a companion. it was happiness enough to be alone and free. but that night—suddenly—i felt furious?—”

“ah! i begin to catch on.”

“i wish you wouldn’t always guess what i’m going to say.”

“shows i’m the real thing. go on.”

“i did wish with all my soul—every part of me—that i had a lover and that he was there. heavens, how i could have loved him! i felt abominably treated by fate. up to that time i hadn’t even thought about love. my experience had been too dreadful. i had felt sure that all capacity for love had been withered up at the roots. when a man looked at me as men do look at women they admire very much, it was enough to make me hate him. but i suddenly realized all that had passed. i had come to the conclusion that harold had been mad from the beginning, so i could do no less than forgive him. that seemed to wipe it all out.”

“when did this happen?” asked tay, abruptly. “what year?”

“it must have been—in 1903.”

“oh! cherry hadn’t been to england for two or three years. she went that year and came back with a good deal of your story—got it from your aunt, of course. i remember i thought about you pretty hard for a time. was on the brink of falling in love with another girl, and it all went up in smoke. what time of the year was it?”

“late autumn.”

“yes! i told myself it was tomfoolery. that you had forgotten me; and i had pretty well forgotten you. nevertheless, i couldn’t get you out of my head. you believe in that sort of thing, i suppose!”

“oh, yes. i wonder!”

they were both pale and staring at each other. “well, go on,” said tay. “what next?”

“i made up my mind that i would find some one to love; and take the consequences. i went down to calcutta, and for a whole winter tried to fall in love. there were many charming men, but it was no use.”

“now are you convinced?”

there was a bend in the lake, which julia had artfully avoided. tay swung her suddenly around it, and in spite of her desperate attempt to free herself, caught her in his arms.

“now,” he said, “i propose to show you that temperature has nothing to do with it. keep quiet. you are on skates, remember.” and he kissed her.

“you can kiss me again,” said julia, after a moment or two.

“i thought so.” and he kissed her for several minutes.

“you look quite different,” murmured, julia finally.

“i can look more so. skates and worsted collars that take your ears off are infernally in the way.”

“will you always joke?”

“my dear child, if i didn’t joke, i might really frighten you.”

julia shivered. “i’ve been frightened for days. i knew this would come. if i’d been really wise, i’d have run away.”

“it wouldn’t have done you one bit of good. never try that game. if you do, i’ll jump right up on the platform in albert hall and kiss you in the presence of ten thousand suffragettes—damnable word!”

“i believe you would.”

“i would.” and he kissed her again.

this time she didn’t respond, and he gave her a little shake. “forget it. you’re to think of nothing but me this long day we have all to ourselves. time enough in london for you to set up your ninepins for me to bowl over. you’ve shown what you can do. lady dark told me that you did nothing by halves, and you’ve just proved it. to-day for love. do you hear?”

julia smiled radiantly. “i couldn’t think of anything but you for more than a minute if i would. that was one thing that terrified me at night—when i had time to think— i had switched off with a vengeance! the past seemed blotted out. i wonder! i wonder!”

“i don’t. and i never saw a mortal woman look so happy. your faculty of living in the moment is a grand asset, my dear. ten months— good lord! it takes all of that time to establish a residence in nevada, and all the rest of it. however— well, let us go for a walk in the woods.” he glanced about with a quickening breath. “blessed spot! we’ll come back to it one of these days.”

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