we crowded before the window in steffie's small room, watching the spectacular sunset. only heinrich stayed away,either because he distrusted wholesome communal pleasures or because he believed there was something ominous inthe modern sunset.

later i sat up in bed in my bathrobe studying german. i muttered words to myself and wondered whether i'd be ableto restrict my german-speaking at the spring conference to brief opening remarks or whether the other participantswould expect the language to be used throughout, in lectures, at meals, in small talk, as a mark of our seriousness, ouruniqueness in world scholarship.

the tv said: "and other trends that could dramatically impact your portfolio."denise came in and sprawled across the foot of the bed, her head resting on her folded arms, facing away from me.

how many codes, countercodes, social histories were contained in this simple posture? a full minute passed.

"what are we going to do about baba?" she said.

"what do you mean?""she can't remember anything.""did she ask you whether she's taking medication?""no.""no she's not or no she didn't ask?""she didn't ask.""she was supposed to," i said.

"well she didn't.""how do you know she's taking something?""i saw the bottle buried in the trash under the kitchen sink. a prescription bottle. it had her name and the name of themedication.""what is the name of the medication?""dylar. one every three days. which sounds like it's dangerous or habit-forming or whatever.""what does your drug reference say about dylar?""it's not in there. i spent hours. there are four indexes.""it must be recently marketed. do you want me to double-check the book?""i already looked. i looked""we could always call her doctor. but i don't want to make too much of this. everybody takes some kind ofmedication, everybody forgets things occasionally.""not like my mother.""i forget things all the time.""what do you take?""blood pressure pills, stress pills, allergy pills, eye drops, aspirin. run of the mill.""i looked in the medicine chest in your bathroom.""no dylar?""i thought there might be a new bottle.""the doctor prescribed thirty pills. that was it. run of the mill. everybody takes something.""i still want to know," she said.

all this time she'd been turned away from me. there were plot potentials in this situation, chances for people to makedevious maneuvers, secret plans. but now she shifted position, used an elbow to prop her upper body and watchedme speculatively from the foot of the bed.

"can i ask you something?""sure," i said.

"you won't get mad?""you know what's in my medicine chest. what secrets are left?""why did you name heinrich heinrich?""fair question.""you don't have to answer.""good question. no reason why you shouldn't ask.""so why did you?""i thought it was a forceful name, a strong name. it has a kind of authority.""is he named after anyone?""no. he was born shortly after i started the department and i guess i wanted to acknowledge my good fortune. iwanted to do something german. i felt a gesture was called for.""heinrich gerhardt gladney?""i thought it had an authority that might cling to him. i thought it was forceful and impressive and i still do. i wantedto shield him, make him unafraid. people were naming their children kim, kelly and tracy."there was a long silence. she kept watching me. her features, crowded somewhat in the center of her face, gave toher moments of concentration a puggish and half-belligerent look.

"do you think i miscalculated?""it's not for me to say.""there's something about german names, the german language, german things. i don't know what it is exactly. it'sjust there. in the middle of it all is hitler, of course.""he was on again last night.""he's always on. we couldn't have television without him.""they lost the war," she said. "how great could they be?""a valid point. but it's not a question of greatness. it's not a question of good and evil. i don't know what it is. lookat it this way. some people always wear a favorite color. some people carry a gun. some people put on a uniform andfeel bigger, stronger, safer. it's in this area that my obsessions dwell."steffie came in wearing denise's green visor. i didn't know what this meant. she climbed up on the bed and all threeof us went through my german-english dictionary, looking for words that sound about the same in both languages,like orgy and shoe.

heinrich came running down the hall, burst into the room.

"come on, hurry up, plane crash footage." then he was out the door, the girls were off the bed, all three of themrunning along the hall to the tv set.

i sat in bed a little stunned. the swiftness and noise of their leaving had put the room in a state of molecular agitation.

in the debris of invisible matter, the question seemed to be, what is happening here? by the time i got to the room atthe end of the hall, there was only a puff of black smoke at the edge of the screen. but the crash was shown two moretimes, once in stop-action replay, as an analyst attempted to explain the reason for the plunge. a jet trainer in an airshow in new zealand.

we had two closet doors that opened by themselves.

that night, a friday, we gathered in front of the set, as was the custom and the rule, with take-out chinese. therewere flopds, earthquakes, mud slides, erupting volcanoes. we'd never before been so attentive to our duty, ourfriday assembly. heinrich was not sullen, i was not bored. steffie, brought close to tears by a sitcom husbandarguing with his wife, appeared totally absorbed in these documentary clips of calamity and death. babette tried toswitch to a comedy series about a group of racially mixed kids who build their own communications satellite. shewas startled by the force of our objection. we were otherwise silent, watching houses slide into the ocean, wholevillages crackle and ignite in a mass of advancing lava. every disaster made us wish for more, for something bigger,grander, more sweeping.

i walked into my office on monday to find murray sitting in the chair adjacent to the desk, like someone waiting fora nurse to arrive with a blood-pressure gauge. he'd been having trouble, he said, establishing an elvis presley powerbase in the department of american environments. the chairman, alfonse stompanato, seemed to feel that one ofthe other instructors, a three-hundred-pound former rock 'n' roll bodyguard named dimitrios cotsakis, hadestablished prior right by having flown to memphis when the king died, interviewed members of the king'sentourage and family, been interviewed himself on local television as an interpreter of the phenomenon.

a more than middling coup, murray conceded. i suggested that i might drop by his next lecture, informally,unannounced, simply to lend a note of consequence to the proceedings, to give him the benefit of whatever influenceand prestige might reside in my office, my subject, my physical person. he nodded slowly, fingering the ends of hisbeard.

later at lunch i spotted only one empty chair, at a table occupied by the new york émigrés. alfonse sat at the headof the table, a commanding presence even in a campus lunchroom. he was large, sardonic, dark-staring, with scarredbrows and a furious beard fringed in gray. it was the very beard i would have grown in 1969 if janet savory, mysecond wife, heinrich's mother, hadn't argued against it. "let them see that bland expanse," she said, in her tiny dryvoice. "it is more effective than you think."alfonse invested everything he did with a sense of all-consuming purpose. he knew four languages, had aphotographic memory, did complex mathematics in his head. he'd once told me that the art of getting ahead in newyork was based on learning how to express dissatisfaction in an interesting way. the air was full of rage andcomplaint. people had no tolerance for your particular hardship unless you knew how to entertain them with it.

alfonse himself was occasionally entertaining in a pulverizing way. he had a manner that enabled him to absorb anddestroy all opinions in conflict with his. when he talked about popular culture, he exercised the closed logic of areligious zealot, one who kills for his beliefs. his breathing grew heavy, arrhythmic, his brows seemed to lock. theother émigrés appeared to find his challenges and taunts a proper context for their endeavor. they used his office topitch pennies to the wall.

i said to him, "why is it, alfonse, that decent, well-meaning and responsible people find themselves intrigued bycatastrophe when they see it on television?"i told him about the recent evening of lava, mud and raging water that the children and i had found so entertaining.

we wanted more, more.

"it's natural, it's normal," he said, with a reassuring nod. "it happens to everybody.""why?""because we're suffering from brain fade. we need an occasional catastrophe to break up the incessant bombardmentof information.""it's obvious," lasher said. a slight man with a taut face and slicked-back hair.

"the flow is constant," alfonse said. "words, pictures, numbers, facts, graphics, statistics, specks, waves, particles,motes. only a catastrophe gets our attention. we want them, we need them, we depend on them. as long as theyhappen somewhere else. this is where california comes in. mud slides, brush fires, coastal erosion, earthquakes,mass killings, et cetera. we can relax and enjoy these disasters because in our hearts we feel that california deserveswhatever it gets. californians invented the concept of life-style. this alone warrants their doom."cotsakis crushed a can of diet pepsi and threw it at a garbage pail.

"japan is pretty good for disaster footage," alfonse said. "india remains largely untapped. they have tremendouspotential with their famines, monsoons, religious strife, train wrecks, boat sinkings, et cetera. but their disasters tendto go unrecorded. three lines in the newspaper. no film footage, no satellite hookup. this is why california is soimportant. we not only enjoy seeing them punished for their relaxed life-style and progressive social ideas but weknow we're not missing anything. the cameras are right there. they're standing by. nothing terrible escapes theirscrutiny.""you're saying it's more or less universal, to be fascinated by tv disasters.""for most people there are only two places in the world. where they live and their tv set. if a thing happens ontelevision, we have every right to find it fascinating, whatever it is.""i don't know whether to feel good or bad about learning that my experience is widely shared.""feel bad," he said.

"it's obvious," lasher said. "we all feel bad. but we can enjoy it on that level."murray said, "this is what comes from the wrong kind of attentiveness. people get brain fade. this is becausethey've forgotten how to listen and look as children. they've forgotten how to collect data. in the psychic sense aforest fire on tv is on a lower plane than a ten-second spot for automatic dishwasher all. the commercial hasdeeper waves, deeper emanations. but we have reversed the relative significance of these things. this is whypeople's eyes, ears, brains and nervous systems have grown weary. it's a simple case of misuse."grappa casually tossed half a buttered roll at lasher, hitting him on the shoulder. grappa was pale and baby-fattishand the tossed roll was an attempt to get lasher's attention.

grappa said to him, "did you ever brush your teeth with your finger?""i brushed my teeth with my finger the first time i stayed overnight at my wife's parents' house, before we weremarried, when her parents spent a weekend at asbury park. they were an ipana family.""forgetting my toothbrush is a fetish with me," cotsakis said. "i brushed my teeth with my finger at woodstock,altamont, monterey, about a dozen other seminal events."grappa looked at murray.

"i brushed my teeth with my finger after the ali-foreman fight in zaire," murray said. "that's the southernmostpoint i've ever brushed my teeth with my finger at."lasher looked at grappa.

"did you ever crap in a toilet bowl that had no seat?"grappa's response was semi-lyrical. "a great and funky men's room in an old socony mobil station on the bostonpost road the first time my father took the car outside the city. the station with the flying red horse. you want thecar? i can give you car details down to the last little option.""these are the things they don't teach," lasher said. "bowls with no seats. pissing in sinks. the culture of publictoilets. all those great diners, movie houses, gas stations. the whole ethos of the road. i've pissed in sinks all throughthe american west. i've slipped across the border to piss in sinks in manitoba and alberta. this is what it's all about.

the great western skies. the best western motels. the diners and drive-ins. the poetry of the road, the plains, thedesert. the filthy stinking toilets. i pissed in a sink in utah when it was twenty-two below. that's the coldest i've everpissed in a sink in."alfonse stompanato looked hard at lasher.

"where were you when james dean died?" he said in a threatening voice.

"in my wife's parents' house before we were married, listening to 'make believe ballroom' on the old emerson tablemodel. the motorola with the glowing dial was already a thing of the past.""you spent a lot of time in your wife's parents' house, it seems, screwing," alfonse said.

"we were kids. it was too early in the cultural matrix for actual screwing.""what were you doing?""she's my wife, alfonse. you want me to tell a crowded table?""james dean is dead and you're groping some twelve-year-old."alfonse glared at dimitrios cotsakis.

"where were you when james dean died?""in the back of my uncle's restaurant in astoria, queens, vacuuming with the hoover."alfonse looked at grappa.

"where the hell were you?" he said, as if the thought had just occurred to him that the actor's death was not completewithout some record of grappa's whereabouts.

"i know exactly where i was, alfonse. let me think a minute.""where were you, you son of a bitch?""i always know these things down to the smallest detail. but i was a dreamy adolescent. i have these gaps in my life.""you were busy jerking off. is that what you mean?""ask me joan crawford.""september thirty, nineteen fifty-five. james dean dies. where is nicholas grappa and what is he doing?""ask me gable, ask me monroe.""the silver porsche approaches an intersection, going like a streak. no time to brake for the ford sedan. glassshatters, metal screams. jimmy dean sits in the driver's seat with a broken neck, multiple fractures and lacerations. itis five forty-five in the afternoon, pacific coast time. where is nicholas grappa, the jerk-off king of the bronx?""ask me jeff chandler.""you're a middle-aged man, nicky, who trafficks in his own childhood. you have an obligation to produce.""ask me john garfield, ask me monty clift."cotsakis was a monolith of thick and wadded flesh. he'd been little richard's personal bodyguard and had ledsecurity details at rock concerts before joining the faculty here.

elliot lasher threw a chunk of raw carrot at him, then asked, "did you ever have a woman peel flaking skin fromyour back after a few days at the beach?""cocoa beach, florida," cotsakis said. "it was very tremendous. the second or third greatest experience of my life.""was she naked?" lasher said.

"to the waist," cotsakis said.

"from which direction?" lasher said.

i watched grappa throw a cracker at murray. he skimmed it backhand like a frisbee.