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The Bath Comedy

SCENE IX
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"my lord," clamoured captain spicer at the door, "the coach is waiting and we have but half an hour to reach bathwick meadows. egad, lord verney, would you be last at the meeting?"

lord verney sprang to his feet. the words, the impatient raps penetrated to his dizzy brain with sudden conviction.

"heavens!" cried he, and glanced at the clock, and made a leap for the door.

"and will you go," said the stranger, "without having seen my face?"

he ran back to her and then back to the door again, distracted, as you may see a puppy dog between two calls. finally he came back to the lady with a new and manly dignity upon him.

"i must go," he said. "would you show yourself as kind as you seem, madam, remove your mask that i may see you before i go."

outside captain spicer was dancing a sort of hornpipe of impotent impatience, and filling the air with shrill strange oaths.

mistress bellairs put the lean swarthy boy very composedly on one side by the merest touch of her hand, then she went over to the door, unlocked it and admitted captain spicer, green and sweating.

"i am coming, spicer," cried lord verney desperately, and made a plunge for his hat and cloak, murmuring as he passed the lady: "oh cruel!"

kitty bellairs nibbled her little finger and looked at the clock.

"it will not take you, you know," said she, "more than five minutes to drive down to the bathwick ferry, therefore if you start in three you will still have twenty-six to spare. my lord verney, will you give me those three minutes?"

lord verney flung aside hat and cloak again, his face glowing with a dark flush.

"oh," cried he, like a school-boy, "for god's sake, spicer, wait outside."

"nay," said mistress kitty, smiling to herself under her mask, "nay, i have need of captain spicer."

lord verney's face fell,

"come hither," said she, and took him crestfallen by the hand and brought him to the table, where lay the writing materials he had been using but a little while ago. "here," said she, "is a sheet of paper. sit down, my lord, and write, write," she said, and tapped his shoulder; "write, sir—thus:—

'lord verney begs to inform sir joseph standish that he understands the grounds of the quarrel between them to lie in a gross misconception of lord verney's feelings for lady standish.'

"write, write!" she leaned over him, dictating.

half spell-bound, yet protesting incoherently, he began to cover the page with his awkward scrawl.

"quick," said she. "(child, how do you spell quarrel?) never mind, on with you:—

'lord verney begs to assure sir jasper that, so far from presuming to entertain any unlawful sentiments for lady standish, he has never addressed more than three words to her or as many glances at her in his-life; that his whole heart is given to another lady, the only woman he has ever loved and ever will love.'"

the pen nearly dropped from lord verney's fingers. he started and turned round on his chair to graze in amaze into the countenance of his mysterious visitor, and again was at once attracted and foiled by her mask.

"surely you would not contradict a lady?" she whispered in his ear; "haste, we have but one minute more. here, give me the pen, i will finish." she snapped the quill from his hand, her curls touched his cheek as she bent forward over him to the page. swiftly her little hand flew:—

"if upon this explanation sir jasper does not see his way to retract all the offensive observations he made to lord verney, lord verney will be ready to meet him as arranged without an instant's delay. the truth of all these statements is guaranteed by the woman lord verney loves."

she seized the sheet and folded it.

"now, captain spicer," said she, "take your coach and hie you to sir jasper's house, and if you bring back an answer before the clock strikes, i will let you take off my mask, and that will save you from dying of curiosity and, also, give you something to tattle about for the next month. oh, you will find sir jasper," she said; "he is a seasoned hand, and does not, like your virgin duellist, make it a point of honour to bring his high valour to the rendezvous twenty minutes before the time."

within his meagre body captain spicer carried the soul of a flunkey. he would have given worlds to rebel, but could not.

"so long as it is not a put-off," said he. "not even for a fair one's smile could i barter a friend's honour."

kitty held the letter aloft tantalizingly and looked at the clock.

"if you won't be the bearer," said she, "i will send it by the chairman, and then you will never know what is in it. moreover," said she, and smiled archly, "if sir jasper apologises to lord verney, which, upon receipt of this letter, i make no doubt he will, you can take his place, you know, and will not be done out of a gallant meeting."

"of course, ha, of course!" cried spicer with a yellow smile.

laughing, mistress kitty closed the door behind his retreating figure.

"now," said she.

"oh, what have you done, what have you made me do?" cried harry verney in a sudden agony.

"hush," said mistress kitty. "did i not tell you your honour was safe with me? do you not believe me?" said she meltingly. "ah, verney!" she put her hand to her head, and at her touch the mask fell.

he looked at her face, blushing and quivering upon him, and once more fell on his knee at her feet.

"oh, tell me your name!" cried he, pleadingly.

"why, lord verney," she said, "how ungallant!" she smiled and looked bewitchingly beautiful; looked serious and reproachful, and he fell beyond his depths in rapture.

"why, you know me, you know me well," said she, "am i not mistress bellairs, kitty bellairs—am i not, kitty?"

"no, no," cried he, "i never knew you till this hour, madam, mistress bellairs kitty! i see you," he cried, "for the first time! oh, god, be kind to me, for i love her!"

"and yet," she whispered archly, "they say that love is blind."

upon this he kissed her as he had kissed her beneath the mask; and if anything could have been sweeter than the first kiss it was the second.

ah, love, how easy an art to learn, how hard to unlearn!

while harry verney thus forgot the whole world, his first duel, and the code of honour. sir jasper sat inditing an answer to his communication:—

"sir jasper standish has received my lord verney's explanation in the spirit in which it is offered. he is quite ready to acknowledge that he has acted entirely under a misapprehension, and begs lord verney to receive his unreserved apologies and the expression of his admiration for lord verney's gallant and gentlemanly behaviour, together with his congratulations to him and the unknown lady upon their enviable situation."

captain spicer did not offer to supply his principal's place in the field. indeed, he displayed to sir jasper, who received him with the most gloomy courtesy, the extreme suppleness of his spine, and pressed his unrivalled snuff upon him with a fluttering and ingratiating air.

when he returned to pierrepoint street he found the mysterious stranger already in her sedan, lord verney leaning through the window thereof, engaged in an earnest whispering conversation. captain spicer jocularly pulled him back by the coat-tails and inserted his own foolish face instead. the lady was masked and cloaked as he had left her.

"madam, i have done your errand," said he. "it was," said he, "a matter of difficult negotiation, requiring—ahem—requiring such tact as i think i may call my own. sir jasper was vastly incensed, one might as well have tried to reason with a bull. 'but gad, sir,' said i, 'would i, i, captain spicer, come with this message if it were not in accordance with the strictest rule of honourable etiquette?' that floored him, madam——"

here mistress kitty snatched the letter flickering in his gesticulating hand with scant ceremony, turned her shoulder upon him, read it and handed it out to lord verney, who had lost no time in coming round to the other window.

"now," said she, "bid the man take me to the pump room." she leaned her head out and lord verney put his close to hers, and there followed another conclave.

"madam, madam, i demand the fulfilment of your promise!" from the other side came captain spicer's clamouring thin voice.—"verney, my good fellow, i must request you to retire, there is a compact between this lady and me——"

"a compact?" said the mask turning her head.

"oh, madam, the vision of that entrancing countenance!"

he strove to unfasten the chair door, when:

"what?" cried she, "and rob you of all the charm of uncertainty and all the joy of guessing and all the spice of being able to take away the character of every lady in bath. oh," she said, "i hope i have been better taught my duty to my neighbour!" out went her head again to lord verney; there was another whisper, a silver laugh. "on men!" she cried.

lord verney skipped round and in his turn dragged the discomfited captain out of the window and restrained him by main force from running after the retreating chairman and their fair burden.

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