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Young Lord Stranleigh

CHAPTER X—THE MEETING WITH THE GOVERNOR OF THE BANK
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the mere accumulating of money does not call for a high, order of intelligence. a stealthy craft is more valuable in that business than the intellect of a shakespeare. the low cunning of a fox is often successful where the brave strength of a lion fails. of course there are estimable men who accumulate a fortune through manufactory, discovery, or invention: men who are benefactors to their fellow creatures, and to whom money comes through the fruition of their endeavors to enrich the world rather than themselves. but a stock exchange speculator like schwartzbrod, equipped with the sneaking slyness of an avaricious but ignorant peasant, becomes a mere predatory beast, producing nothing; fattening on the woes and losses of others; stealthy and cruel as the man-eating tiger. it is probable that as civilization advances such a vampire will be secluded from his fellows as the leper is in eastern lands.

since his first disastrous encounter with lord stranleigh, schwartzbrod had been animated by a vicious hatred of this seemingly happy-go-lucky young man, whose attention appeared to be concentrated mainly on dress, but as they met again and again, this rancor became tinctured with a slowly rising fear, not of the urbane nobleman’s intellect, but of his amazing good luck, for nothing could have persuaded schwartzbrod that stranleigh possessed intellect of any kind. he regarded this junior financier merely as a polite but brainless fop. to one as rich as schwartzbrod, the writing of a check to fulfill his promises to captain simmons and frowningshield should have been scarcely more important than the tossing of a penny to a beggar by an ordinary man. but schwartzbrod brooded over it, grit his teeth, and swore vengeance. now, vindictiveness is a quality which does not pay. in our modern strenuous life the man who wastes thought on revenge runs a risk of falling behind in the procession, but in a time of crisis such deflection of thought upon trivialities, when all senses should be on the alert to prepare for the coming storm, may be fatal. schwartzbrod was like a man in an open boat on the sea, with too much canvas spread, who, instead of casting his weather eye around the horizon, and shortening sail, was fuming because some one had spilled a cupful of water at the bottom of the boat, pondering over the method of mopping it up, and flinging the soaked rag in the face of him who had upset the cup. a financial typhoon was approaching which would unroof many a house in england and america before it had run its course. shrewd navigators on the treacherous waters of finance were preparing to scud under bare poles until the clouds rolled by.

it may be admitted at once that lord stranleigh no more suspected what was coming than did schwartzbrod himself, for, as his lordship frequently confessed, he did not understand these things. he had, without browbeating or recrimination, eliminated all chance of schwartzbrod’s further interference with his mine. schwartzbrod knew that lord stranleigh was possessed of every fact in the case, and these facts, if brought forward in a court of law, might very well sequester the city financier in a prison for the rest of his life, and stranleigh, quite correctly, counted on this fear restraining schwartzbrod’s hand.

the big steamer wychwood passed unmolested from southern to northern seas and back again, and mackeller’s industrious smelters had tumbled down into the safe deposit some two thousand tons of solid gold.

it was when city men began to return from their summer holidays that a slight whisper floated round the halls of mammon which sent a shiver up and down the backs of shrewd people here and there. the whisper was to the effect that the bank of england was in trouble. on three separate occasions within as many weeks, the bank rate had been raised, and now stood at so high a figure that it threatened to check enterprise and speculation during the approaching autumn, when everyone had hoped business would mend in the city. cautious bankers began calling in their loans, which is a bank’s method of shortening sail. ambitious projects were being abandoned here and there through fear of shortness of money. companies whose promoters looked forward to a successful flotation before christmas, were held over. affairs in the city were stagnant, and weather-wise people feared worse was to come. about the beginning of october a sinister rumor went abroad, founded on a highly sensational article in a new york yellow journal. this rumor, on account of its origin, was discredited at first, but presently the world came to learn that there was too good a foundation for it. the new york paper said that as soon as the financial amateurs of the british parliament had placed on the statute books an act commanding the bank of england by the first of january to maintain its gold reserve at a hundred million of pounds, a powerful syndicate of financial experts had been formed in wall street for the cornering of gold. wheat had often been cornered, to the great benefit of some one individual either in new york or chicago, and to the universal loss of a hungry world, but no one had hitherto attempted to corner gold. wheat could not be produced at will. once the sowing was done, the mathematicians could estimate very accurately, given a full crop, the maximum number of bushels of wheat likely to be placed on the market the coming autumn, and to this amount no man could add, because the production of wheat depended on the slow revolution of the seasons. with gold it was different: gold could be produced summer and winter, night and day, therefore no individual, be he as rich as midas, and no syndicate, however powerful, had heretofore dared to attempt the cornering of gold. wheat was consumed year by year, but gold was practically everlasting, preserved in the shape of ornaments, bullion, plate, and what not. old coinage, minted centuries before the birth of christ, was still in existence, and although a few grains of wheat grown in the time of the pharaohs rested in the palms of certain mummies, the great bulk of year before last’s wheat was already ground and baked and eaten. it would seem, then, that the boldest financial coup ever attempted had been successfully accomplished by the men of wall street. this, however, the new york paper pointed out, was not the case. tremendous as might be the consequences of the corner, there was, after all, little risk to the operators. gold, unlike wheat, was a staple commodity. wheat rose and fell in price. gold practically did not. these men had paid no exorbitant rates for gold, but merely kept silent, and through the help of their agents all over the world, they either secured actual possession of the available metal, or had obtained an option on it, which did not expire until june, while the bank of england was compelled by the new law to acquire possession of at least a hundred million pounds sterling of gold on january the first. even if the corner failed, this would entail no loss to the monopolists, because they possessed the actual metal for which everything is sold. no sensational fall in the price of gold could take place, as would have been inevitable in the case of wheat should the corner fail, while as a result of the hold-up, if the bank was forced to come to their terms, the profit to be divided would be enormous. it was also stated that the wall street men had secured bank notes and orders for gold upon the bank of england which they would present at a critical moment, demanding the metal, thus facing this venerable institution with the drastic alternative of accepting their terms, or suspending payment. the times in a leading article, intended to soothe the public mind, attempted to show that the proposed cornering of gold was impossible; that millions upon millions of hoarded gold would be brought out at the proper moment if enough were offered for it; that these millions were in the possession of people of whom wall street knew nothing and had no means of getting into touch with.

this article had some effect in staying the panic, or at least in postponing it. those responsible for the management of the bank of england kept silent, as is their usual course, and for a week it seemed, so great was the confidence of englishmen in their most important financial institution, that nothing disastrous was about to happen. then stocks of all kinds began to come down with a run. one important house failed, then another, and another, and another, and shrewd men realized that both england and america were face to face with the greatest financial disaster of modern times. it seemed that the punishment fitted the crime, because of the fact that in america, which originated the crisis, the panic was much more severe than in england, and throughout all the united states, especially in the west, there was a simultaneous denunciation of wall street, to which wall street, accustomed to popular ebullition, paid little attention.

in england meetings were held calling on the government to rescind their bill, and give the bank more time, but, as was pointed out, the bank had not asked for time, and although the governor and directors were known to have been bitterly opposed to the bill, the government could scarcely with dignity offer relief where relief had not been sought.

lord stranleigh sat at ease in one of the comfortable leather-covered armchairs which helped to mitigate the austerities of life in the smoking room of the camperdown club. his attitude was one of meditation. the right leg was thrown over the left; his finger tips met together, and those rather fine, honest eyes of his were staring through the thin film of smoke, and apparently seeing nothing. one of the men who had successfully borrowed money from him the day before, and whose salutation lord stranleigh ignored, not on account of the borrowed money, but simply because he had not seen the borrower, remarked to some friends that stranleigh thought he was thinking, which caused a laugh, as these people did not know that the same remark had been made many years before, and were also under the delusion that stranleigh was incapable of thought.

the camperdown club, as everyone knows, is more celebrated as a center of sport than as a resort of business men, yet it has two or three of the latter on its very select list of members. one of these entered, paused at the door, and looked about him for a moment as if wishing to find a chair alone, or searching for some friend whom he expected to meet. this was alexander corbitt, manager of selwyn’s bank, a smooth-faced, harsh-featured man, under whose direction this bank, although a private institution, stood almost as high in public estimation as the bank of england itself. as corbitt stood there, the dreamy nature of lord stranleigh’s gaze changed into something almost approaching alertness.

“corbitt,” he said, “here’s a chair waiting for you.”

the banker, without hesitation, strode forward, and sat down. there was a certain definite directness about each movement of his body which contrasted strikingly with the indifferent, indolent air assumed by most of the members; a decisive man of iron nerve, even one who knew little of him might have summed him up.

“what will you imbibe?” asked stranleigh.

“nothing, thank you. i just dropped in at the club for a bite of dinner, and having a few moments to spare, will now indulge in one cigar; then i must return to the bank.”

“what, at this hour of the evening? i thought banks closed at four o’clock, or is it three?”

“i expect to be there all night,” said corbitt, shortly, as he held a match to his cigar.

“i wanted to ask you a few questions.”

“ask them.”

“you know i am as ignorant as a child of all matters pertaining to finance, high and low?”

“yes, i know that.”

“what’s all this fuss about, corbitt?”

“what fuss?”

“why, the accounts i read in the evening papers, and the morning papers, too, for that matter. they say there’s a panic in the city. is there?”

the banker laughed a little; a low, harsh, mirthless laugh.

“yes, there’s a panic,” he said. “you are not nipped in it, i hope. i was told you were dabbling in the city a while ago. is that true?”

“oh, merely a small flutter, corbitt, on behalf of some friends of mine.”

“have you been speculating lately?”

“oh, no. i possess neither the brains nor knowledge requisite for success in the city.”

“brains and knowledge are at a discount just now. what is needed is cash. the biggest fool with ready cash can do more at this moment than the wisest man with a world of knowledge.”

“then i’d better jump into the turmoil,” said stranleigh, smiling.

“take my advice, and keep out of it. there are rocks ahead. i see by to-night’s papers that conrad schwartzbrod has gone under, and has carried down with him six or seven men who are considered the most acute financiers in the city. in ordinary times their standing might be supposed unimpeachable.”

“schwartzbrod bankrupt! then it must be a fraudulent bankruptcy, surely?”

“no, it isn’t. everything has been swept away. he’s had no time to hedge, or you may depend upon it he would have done so.”

“corbitt, what’s the cause of the whole thing? can’t a man of your powerful intellect make it plain as a b c to an infant of my caliber?”

“the cause is simple enough. it is the attempt to do the right thing in the wrong way. the cause is the bank of england’s gold reserve act, passed last may, and coming into force on the first of january next year. this act makes it obligatory on the bank of england to hold a reserve of a hundred millions in gold, where formerly it has only held, say, thirty millions. do you understand so far?”

“yes, corbitt, i do. in fact, i remember last may picking up by wireless telegraphy part of the speech of the chancellor of the exchequer on this very bill, but i didn’t understand it then, and don’t now.”

“very well, the object which the act sought to attain is one i have advocated for ten years past, but the way of accomplishing it is another instance of the conceited folly of a democracy meddling in a science that demands years of training and minds of a certain caliber. a democracy thinks that the right way to do a thing is the method adopted in bringing down the walls of jericho. they beat drums and blow trumpets, and march round and round. now, the exasperating feature of this case is that the chancellor of the exchequer knew at the time the folly of his own action, although, of course, he did not perceive the tremendous disaster it was going to bring upon not only his own country, but practically all the solvent nations of the world. he should have withstood the pressure of his unreasonable and ignorant followers. he should have arranged an interview with the managers of the bank of england; should have told them that a bill of this kind was inevitable if they did not themselves put their house in order. he should have arranged with them quietly, without any beating of tom-toms, and blowing of horns, for the bank slowly to accumulate the needed reserve. then he should have got up in his place in parliament, and announced that the bank of england already held the amount in gold which all thoughtful financiers believed to be necessary if we are to get rid of this eternally fluctuating bank rate.

“of course, the bank of england itself is also to blame; it being for all practical purposes a branch of the government. it should have requested an interview, and come to some understanding before the bill passed into law. i expected that the lords would throw it out, and perhaps they thought the same. however, it passed both houses, received royal assent, and then the mischief was done. these very clever wall street men at once saw the possibilities of the situation, as they do with all amateur legislation. the bank remained silent and solemn; has given no word to this day, and then, at too late an hour, showed its distress by raising its bank rate again and again and again, hoping that would prove a magnet to attract gold, whereas it was merely hoisting a signal of distress, and acquainting the whole world with the fact it is drifting on a lee shore.”

“do you mean to say, corbitt, that there’s a chance of the bank of england stopping payment?”

“no, i do not go so far as that. here we come to the comic element of the tragedy, which shows the loose folly with which these parliamentary bills are drawn. there is no penalty attached to the act; it merely orders the bank to provide such a reserve by such a date. but if the bank doesn’t do it, there can be neither a fine inflicted, nor can the governor be put into prison for contumely. if i were governor of the bank of england, i would snap my fingers at parliament, at the act, and at the gold-cornering syndicate. i should say that as soon as was convenient to me i would accumulate this reserve of a hundred million, but that such action was impossible in the time given, therefore i should make no attempt to comply with the act at the present moment.”

“what would be the result of such a statement on the part of the governor?”

“i don’t know. it would probably have a quieting result; or it might further accentuate the panic. of course, when the governor began to perceive that it was going to be difficult to get the gold, he should have approached parliament while it was in session, and got a relief bill, postponing the date, say for another year, but, as i have, said, he stood on his dignity; the government stands on its dignity, and between the two of them they bring unnecessary ruin and disaster upon the country.”

“isn’t it possible the bank will get the seventy extra millions by the first of january?”

“i see no possibility of it, unless they are prepared to pay two hundred millions for the accommodation to the wall street syndicate.”

“has the wall street syndicate got the gold? that is, the actual coin?”

“yes, and showing its confidence, the money is actually in vaults here in london, so the syndicate seems to have no fear that our government will commandeer the gold as kruger did before the transvaal war began. i understand that the syndicate has notified the bank of england that the price of this metal will rise two hundred thousand pounds each day until the bank accepts their proposals.”

“corbitt, must the gold held in reserve by the bank of england be in actual sovereigns, or raw metal?”

“either one or the other.”

“suppose on the first of january the governor of the bank of england were to announce that there are a hundred million pounds worth of gold in his vaults. what would be the effect on the country?”

“stranleigh, there’s more in that question than perhaps you think. i have never been just absolutely certain that you are as ignorant as you pretend. most men in the city would tell you that such an announcement might instantly relieve the crisis, but if nothing were said until the first of january, and the announcement made then, i am not sure but it would be almost as disastrous as the former panic. it would be like the sudden releasing of a powerful and compressed spring, and anything sudden and powerful is apt to disarrange machinery. i think the inevitable result would be the instant soaring of stocks to much beyond their actual value. that, then, would bring ruin to many of those that had been spared by the fall of stocks. we should have a very disturbed market until things subsided to their proper level. and now you will have to excuse me, stranleigh. i must be off.”

the banker threw away the stub of his cigar, and marched out. lord stranleigh went over to one of the tables, and wrote several letters. among them was a request for an interview at an early date sent to the governor of the bank of england. another was an order forwarded to peter mackeller in cornwall. a third requested the honor of a meeting with mr. conrad schwartzbrod. then stranleigh took the calendar of the dying year, and slowly counted the number of days remaining to its credit.

“i think there will be time enough,” he said to himself, as he completed the count.

four days after the lesson he had received on the crisis lord stranleigh kept the first appointment he had made by meeting schwartzbrod in the little business office of the town house. the young man was shocked at the appearance of the aged financier, and, much as he disliked him, could not but feel sorry for him. he seemed almost ten years older than when last they met. his face was haggard, drawn, pinched; his shoulders stooping under the increased burden which misfortune had laid upon them. the only unchanged feature was his eyes, and from them gleamed the baleful light of unconquerable hate.

“i received your letter from the club,” schwartzbrod began. “i have come, you see, i have come. i am not afraid to meet you; you smooth, brainless sneak, you can do me no further harm. you have done your worst, and if you have called me here to triumph over me, i give you that pleasure, and freely acknowledge that you are the cause of all my misfortunes.”

“i beg your pardon, mr. schwartzbrod, but you are quite mistaken in what you say. the cause of your misfortune goes farther back than any action of mine. the beginning was on the day when you resolved to crush the mackellers. they had helped you, father and son. they were innocent men, and honest. each in his own way had assisted you to the possibility of almost unlimited wealth. that did not satisfy you. you determined to take from them their just compensation, and to fling them, paupers, into the gutter. it happened through one of those freaks of fate which keeps alive our faith in eternal justice, that the day you came to this resolve you were a doomed man.”

“that’s what you called me here to tell me, is it, you human poodle dog, you contemptible puppy, rich through the thefts of your ancestors.”

“your language, mr. schwartzbrod, seems to have become tinged with the intemperance of the panic. i did not intend to refer to the past at all. you set the subject of our conversation the moment you entered the room, and i merely followed your lead, and strove to remove a misapprehension from your mind as to the original causes of things. no, my invitation to this house had quite another object. i shall not strain your credulity by asking you to believe that when i heard four days ago you were bankrupt, a feeling of slight regret was uppermost in my mind. i don’t like to see people suffer.”

the old man laughed, like the grating of a file on a saw.

“of course i don’t ask you to believe that, and should be sorry to put such a strain on whatever belief in human nature you may possess, so don’t trouble any further about my statements, which you doubtless regard as absurd. have you got any money left?”

“not a stiver.”

“how about your six colleagues; are they cleaned out?”

“even if they had money, they would not intrust a penny of it to me. you talk about my belief in human nature. well, the faith in human nature in me is gone. i have done my best for them, and lost every point in the game, together with their money and my own.”

“very well, mr. schwartzbrod, we must rehabilitate you. i possess what i think is the finest red automobile in london, and my chauffeur would add dignity to the equipage of an emperor. i will lend you chauffeur and car for the day, and if you drive through the streets round the bank for a few hours, those who turn up their noses at you will be lifting their hats instead.”

“i suppose you think that’s funny, lord stranleigh. you wish to exhibit me in your motor car after the fashion of the romans parading their captives in their chariots when defeated. i don’t know why i came here, but i warn you i did not come to be insulted.”

“of course not. it is incredible you should imagine it possible for me to insult a man in my own house. now listen to me. my banker has asked as a favor that i should not draw any checks upon him until this flurry is over. of course, if i did draw a check, he would honor it, but i have given him my promise. under the back seat of this automobile i have hid away eight bars of gold, each weighing a hundred pounds or thereabout, and valued probably at five thousand pounds sterling. that means forty thousand pounds in exactly the commodity all london is howling for at the present moment. i don’t know precisely what the position of a bankrupt is, and it may be possible that your creditors can take away those bars of gold if they knew you possessed them, therefore trade in my name if you like; act as my agent. go in this automobile to your bank, and get the porters to carry the bullion inside. there they will weigh it, and estimate its value, giving you the credit for the amount. now, pay strict attention to me. buy the value of those bars in stocks which you know possess some intrinsic worth, but are now far beneath their proper level. hold those stocks until the first of january, when you will see begin the greatest boom that london has ever known. i advise you to sell as soon after new year’s day as possible, because stocks are likely to shoot up to a higher point than they may be able later to maintain. this gold comes from a mine which was once in your possession, and my immature puppy mind is so absurdly constructed that i have felt uneasily in your debt for a long time, and now am glad of the opportunity to allow you a share in the prosperity of the mine, if you will be obliging enough to accept it.”

the truculence of the ruined financier immediately fell from him at the mention of gold, and in its place came the old cringing manner, with a flattering endeavor to mitigate the harshness of his former remarks, a change of manner that made the young man shrink a little farther from him, and hurriedly end the interview.

“that’s all right, mr. schwartzbrod. words break no bones, unless they cause the recipient to fling the dealer in them down a steep stairway. the automobile is waiting for you at the door. the chauffeur thinks the metal under the seat is copper. your banker will tell you it is gold, so keep an eye on it till it is safely in his possession. there, there, do not thank me, i beg of you. i assure you i am not seeking for gratitude, but i am a little short of time to-day. in half an hour i am to meet the governor of the bank of england, so i must bid you farewell.”

“will you not come with me, then, in your own automobile, my lord?”

“thank you, no. i think it best that you should be seen alone in the automobile if there have been rumors regarding your position down in the city. if anyone asks you what the machine cost, you can tell them its price is a net two thousand pounds. you will journey in that, and i shall take the twopenny tube, being a democratic sort of person. good morning, mr. schwartz-brod, good morning.”

so lord stranleigh went down the huge lift at the twopenny tube, and in due time emerged to daylight at the bank of england. he arrived in the anteroom a few minutes before the time of his appointment, and exactly at the arranged moment was called for, and ushered into the presence, for punctuality is the politeness of kings, and—governors of the bank of england.

the stern, almost commanding attitude of this monarch of finance abashed the young man, and made him feel the useless worm of the dust schwartzbrod had indicated he was. stranleigh, who was always more scrupulously polite to a beggar than was his custom with the king, resented the sensation of inferiority which came upon him when confronted with the forbidding ruler of the bank. he said to himself:

“good heavens, is it possible that if i meet a man who is big enough, i shall actually cringe in my soul as schwartzbrod does with his body?”

nevertheless, that slight hesitation in speech which was apt to incommode him at critical moments overpowered him now, and his dislike of any attempt to win the respect of the iron man before him sent him in the other direction, and he knew that for the next ten minutes he was going to be regarded as the most hopeless fool in london. yet he did not consider himself a fool, and his latent sense of humor prevented him from making any attempt at endowing his conversation with that wisdom which seemed so suitable to this somber room.

when the governor’s secretary had presented lord stranleigh’s letter to him, the head of the bank had peremptorily refused to waste time with a member of the aristocracy of whom he knew nothing, but the secretary, whose business it was to know everything, dropped one word in a short phrase that arrested the governor’s attention.

“it’s the rich lord stranleigh, sir.”

the word “rich” was the straw at which the drowning man clutched. so here was stranleigh, the living contradiction of that phrase “the last of the dandies.” here was the embodiment of the spirit of piccadilly and bond street confronted with the rugged, carelessly dressed dictator of threadneedle street, a frown on the beetling brow of one man, an inane, silly smile on the lips of the other. at the sight of this smile the governor saw at once that his first thought had been right. he should not have wasted a moment on this nonentity, yet he had before him the herculean task of providing the institute over which he presided with seventy millions of pounds worth of gold within five days, or stand discredited before the world. despair was strangling expiring hope as he realized that this simpering noodle could not be the god in the machine; godlike in stalwart form, perhaps, but that simpering smile would have discredited jove himself.

“what can i do for you, my lord?” he bellowed forth, temper, patience, and time short.

“well, sir,” sniggered stranleigh, “there’s—there’s several things you can do for me. in—in the first place you don’t mind my sitting down, do you? it seems to me i can speak better sitting down. i’ve—i’ve really never been able to make a speech in my life, even after dinner, simply because a fellow has to stand up, don’t you know.”

“i hope, my lord, you won’t think it necessary to make a speech here.”

“no, no, i merely wished a quiet talk,” said his lordship, drawing up a chair without invitation, and sitting down. “you see, i have no head for figures, and so little knowledge of business do i possess that i am compelled to engage twelve professional men to look after my affairs.”

“yes, yes, yes, yes,” snapped the governor.

“well, you see, governor, now and again i act without asking any advice from those men. seems kind of a silly thing to do, don’t you think? keeping twelve dogs, and barking a fellow’s bally self, don’t you know.”

“yes. what has all that to do with the bank of england?”

“i’m coming to that. you see, we are all imbued with the same respect for the bank that we feel for the church, and the navy, and the king, and sometimes for the government, but not always, as, for instance, when they pass silly acts about your gold reserve, instead of coming to you in a friendly manner, as i’m doing, and settling the thing quietly.”

“i quite agree with you, my lord, but my time is very limited, and i should be obliged——”

“quite so, sir, quite so. these ideas are not my own, at all. i didn’t know much about the crisis until four or five days ago when mr. corbitt—alexander corbitt, you know, of selwyn’s bank. you’re acquainted with him, perhaps?”

“i know mr. corbitt—yes.”

“well, those are his opinions, and i agree with him, you know.”

“mr. corbitt is an authority on finance,” admitted the governor, as if, instead of praising the absent man, he was denouncing him.

“now, what bothers me about gold is this. a sovereign weighs a hundred and twenty-three grains, decimal—well i forget the decimal figures, but perhaps you’re up in them. i never could remember—to tell you the truth, the moment i get into decimals, i’m lost. i can figure out that two and two are four, but beyond that——”

“i assure you, my lord,” interrupted the governor, “a great many people cannot go so far as that. if you will have the kindness, not to say the mercy, to tell me exactly what you want, i will guarantee that your answer will be brief and prompt.”

“all right. to get directly at the nub of the business, then, do you have twelve ounces to the pound of gold, or sixteen?”

the governor’s fingers were drumming on the hard surface of the table. he glared at his visitor, but said nothing.

“when i get entangled with decimals or vulgar fractions, it’s bad enough, but when i don’t know whether the pounds i am dealing with are twelve ounces or sixteen ounces, then the ease gets kind of hopeless—ah, i see you are in a hurry. now tell me how much would be the value of a bar of gold weighing a hundred pounds, and we’ll let troy or avoirdupois go. just give me a rough estimate.”

“my lord stranleigh,” said the governor, with ominous calmness, “have you come here under the impression that the bank of england is an infant school?”

lord stranleigh blushed a delicate pink, until his cheeks were as smooth and crimson as that of a girl receiving her first proposal. the contempt of the man before him was so unconcealed that poor stranleigh thought, as he closed his open hand, he might feel it, so thick was it in the air. he plunged desperately into another tack.

“my dear governor,” he stammered, trying to conciliate his opponent by cordial familiarity, “as i told you i have the utmost respect for the bank of england. you see, i am rather well off, and within the last day or two i have plunged, and every available asset i possess except one i have put into stocks and shares. i’ve thought this thing out——”

“oh, you’ve thought it out,” said the governor.

“yes, as well as i was able, and i believe that after the first of january london is going to see the greatest boom in stocks and shares that has ever taken place in the history of finance.”

“what are your grounds for such a belief, my lord?”

“the—the respect i hold for the bank of england. we want to see the good old bank of england buck up. it’s humiliating to think that an upstart like wall street should be able to play hey-diddle-diddle, the cat and the fiddle, with a venerable institution like this. why, it’s as if some one spoke disrespectfully of one’s grandmother. i want to see the bank buck up, and that’s why i’m here.”

the governor bucked up. he rose like a statue of wrath.

“my lord, this interview must terminate. the bank of england cannot assist you in your speculations. you should have consulted alexander corbitt if you wished further credit, should he happen to be your banker.”

stranleigh had risen when he saw the governor on his feet.

“i did.”

“then you had better go back to him. he surely never advised you to see me?”

“no, but what he told me of the situation filled me with a desire to meet you.”

“i dare say. well, lord stranleigh, you have met me. i bid you good morning, sir.”

stranleigh became a deeper crimson at what he considered this rude dismissal. he was not accustomed to being treated in such a way. his shoulders squared back, and the smile left his lips.

“then you don’t want the gold?” he said, almost as sternly as the other had spoken.

“what gold?”

“my gold.”

“i thought you said that all your assets had been vested in the buying of stocks.”

“i said, sir, all my assets except one. the one asset remaining is gold.”

“gold?”

“yes.”

“in what form?”

“in the form of ingots.”

“how much gold have you got? what’s its value?”

“now, governor, i put it to you, as one man to another, you’re a little unreasonable. didn’t i tell you that unless i can multiply a hundred and twenty-three decimal-whatever-it-happens-to-be, i can’t even estimate it? i asked—i hope with courtesy—the favor of your assistance in calculating the value of my gold, but you began to talk about infant schools. you see, i have got a mine down in cornwall that holds two thousand tons of gold.”

“nonsense,” interrupted the governor, waxing impatient. “there are no gold mines in cornwall.”

“sir, i did not say there were. the mine i speak of is a copper mine.”

“i have had enough of this fooling, my lord, and i think i have already bade you farewell.”

“then you don’t want my gold?”

“how many pounds of raw gold have you got?”

“pounds? oh, i don’t estimate my gold in pounds. i hold at present upward of two thousand tons.”

“two thousand tons! in ore, do you mean?”

“certainly not. if the bank of england is not an infant school, i suppose it is not a smelting furnace, either. this gold, as i told you, has been smelted, and is in ingots. i came down by twopenny tube to keep my appointment because i had lent my principal automobile to a man named conrad schwartzbrod. i see my automobile standing outside, and as i gave schwartzbrod eight bars of this metal, telling him to take it to his bank, he seems to have taken it to this bank, so if this seminary for young ladies has purchased these eight bars, we may go at once and examine them. my two thousand tons is divided into ingots similar to those schwartzbrod has sold you.”

“where is your gold?”

“a thousand tons of it is in cornwall still, but can be delivered here within a day or two. the other thousand tons is on a special train of the great western railway, which has already arrived in london, and its contents may be in your vaults this evening if your vans look sharp.”

the governor sat down in his chair more hurriedly than he had anticipated, drew out a handkerchief and wiped his brow.

“are you telling the truth, or is this—is this—what you say, my lord, is incredible.”

“very well, come up to the great western goods depot, and see for yourself. i have always avoided the city as a cynical place, but i had no idea that unbelief was so prevalent there as it seems.”

“a thousand tons of gold! worth a hundred and ten million pounds sterling!”

“there, you see how easy it is to calculate when a man who knows figures gets at it. is that what my thousand tons is worth?”

“where did this gold come from?”

“from the west african coast; a very valuable surface mine i own there. we’ve been working most of the year transporting the ore to cornwall and smelting it, tossing the ingots down into an empty copper mine i own, which i call my safe deposit vault.”

“how much do you demand for this gold?”

“oh, i don’t demand anything at all. i’m no business man, as i told you. it struck me that the gold was quite as safe in your vaults as in my copper mine, therefore i engaged a special train to bring half of it up. you can have the other half if you wish.”

“my lord, will you accompany me in my automobile to the great western goods depot, and show me that special train of yours?”

“governor, i shall be delighted.”

a few mornings later lord stranleigh sat at his appetizing breakfast, and smiled as he read the leading article in the times:

“as our readers know, we did not join in the outcry of the sensational press which did so much to mislead public opinion both in england and america. never for an instant, during all the tumult, did our faith in that greatest and most venerable of financial institutions, the bank of england, waver. on october the fourteenth we pointed out the impossibility of cornering gold, no matter how powerful the financial syndicate might be which undertook his labor of sisyphus. how long this treasure, whose very figures read like some romance of the ‘arabian nights,’ has lain in the vaults of the bank, no one but the governor, and those in his confidence, can tell. while the country was ringing with predictions of failure on the part of the bank to conform with a new and absurd law, those responsible for the direction of our leading financial institution quietly and in silence had gathered together the almost unimaginable amount of three hundred million pounds’ worth sterling of virgin gold. those journals which for the past four months have been foremost in deluding their readers, and bringing a crisis on the country, are now loud in their denunciation of the governor of the bank for not speaking sooner. but if the governor of the bank undertook to reply to statements, malicious or ignorant, concerning the institution over which he so worthily presides, there would be little time left for him to perform those functions that he has so ably accomplished. those people who held faith in their country are rewarded. the almost unprecedented heights to which stocks and shares have risen means the enrichment of every investor who was not carried away by a senseless panic. as for ourselves, we have in season and out of season never swerved from——”

lord stranleigh laughed.

“good old times,” he said, “how wise you are! a fitting companion grandmother to the old lady of threadneedle street!”

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