dec. 1st, 1865.

preparations for the school are going on apace. we have moved into our house and it is too beautiful. i had forgotten how lovely it was. fortunately, the beautiful paper in the second floor, the two drawing rooms and mamma’s room, has not been at all injured. the school is to open jan. 1st and, strange to say, mamma is receiving letters from all over the state asking terms etc. i thought there would be no applications, every one being so ruined by the war, but mamma’s name and personality make people anxious to give their daughters the benefit of her influence; and, i suppose, the people in the cotton country are not so completely ruined and without money as we rice planters of the low country are. be it as it may, the limit mamma put of ten boarding pupils is nearly reached already. my cousin, marianna porcher, will be the head teacher of french and literature; she is wonderfully clever; i will have the younger girls, and i certainly will have my hands full, for there are a{308} great many applications for the entry of day-scholars of the younger set. mamma will teach all the classes of history, for which she is admirably fitted. prof. gibbes from the charleston college will teach mathematics and latin to the advanced scholars; but i want mlle. le prince, who is a first class french teacher, engaged to live in the house as well as teach. there is no way of learning french equal to speaking it. but mamma very truly says we must go slowly, and be sure we are making, before we expand. i am frightened to death. i know girls and have been to boarding school and mamma’s plan of no rules except those of an ordinary well-ordered, well-conducted home, seems to me perfectly impracticable; but, having once said that, i do not dare argue the matter. i am amazed to see how clever mamma is. she wanted to send c. to college in virginia, his constitution has been much injured by the heavy marching and privation endured in the army at 16. carrying that heavy knapsack on those killing, long marches without food has given him a stoop and a weary look in his beautiful hazel eyes; but it was impossible for her to borrow the $200.00 necessary to send him. she thought the change of climate from this relaxing low country air would{309} do him good, and enable him to build up; but, as she could not get the money, she has placed him at the charleston college, and i am truly thankful to have him at home. only, restless, cassandra-like, i see a problem ahead; he is so very good-looking!

march 21st, 1866. here we are, almost at the end of our first three months of school, and it has been and is a grand success! i have not had time to write a line here because every second of my time is occupied, and oh, i am so happy! in the first place, i find i can teach! and i love it! i have a class of thirteen girls ranging from twelve to fifteen, and, if you please, i teach them everything! except history which mamma teaches. they are most of them very bright, delightful girls, and mind my least word, even look. only once have i had any trouble. i kept a girl in for an hour after school because she had not pretended to study her lesson that day, and the next day i had a note from her mother to say that she was shocked at her daughter being singled out for punishment, and requesting that it should not happen again. i returned a note saying that i also requested earnestly that it should not happen again, that m. come to her class without having{310} studied her lesson; should it happen a second time, the punishment would have to be much more severe. i had no reply to that, but m., who is very bright tho’ very spoiled, thought wisest to study in future. a mother, who had taught in her youth and who knew of this passage at arms, wrote me a note of sympathy, saying, “a teacher must be prepared to swallow buckets full of adders.” this was so very strong and so beyond my experience, that i did not answer it, and thus far i can truly say i have not swallowed a single mosquito even.

i have a little time today and i want to put down what i do every day, i really have not added it up even in my mind. first of all, i trim and fill all the lamps, twenty in all, for we have no light but kerosene in the house; the fixtures are all there, but gas is so expensive; then i practise a half hour before going into school at nine; school lasts until two; there is no general recess, each class going into the garden for their recess at a different time; then i give one or two music lessons every day, that takes more out of me than anything. once a week, mr. hambruch gives me a lesson, from pure goodness and love of music; for, of course, i could not afford it. he taught me for years when i was young, and when he{311} offered to give me a spare hour he had, i was too glad. yesterday i went to him almost crying, and told him how badly i felt at taking money for girls who were not learning any thing. he laughed and answered, “oh, miss a., you must not mind that. we music teachers, if we only taught the ones that learn, we would starve.”

that was a great surprise and consolation to me, for he is the very best music teacher in charleston, and i was so proud of his saying, “we music teachers.” of course i only charge a quarter of what he charges for lessons and people have so little money that i have a good many pupils, as mr. h. was so good as to give me a certificate as to my capacity to teach. i make every stitch of clothing that i wear, and that takes up every spare moment; add to all this that i go into society, and enjoy myself fiercely.

we have ten delightful girls as boarding pupils, from all over the state. they are preternaturally well behaved, and mamma’s plan of its being really a home, with no rules, is succeeding perfectly. my dear, pretty little sister is a kind of lead horse in the team, and as she walks straight the rest follow. but they really are exceptionally nice ladylike girls who treat mamma like a queen.

c. is the greatest help to mamma, and, so far,{312} has kept his eyes to himself. he is a wonder. he does all the marketing on his way to college! and that is no small thing. beef is 50 c. a pound and mutton in proportion. c. sits at the foot of the table and carves and helps one dish of meat while mamma carves the other. he is as solemn and well behaved as a judge, and though the girls adore him, it is in secret, so all goes well.

the “young ladies,” contrary to all my ideas, are allowed to receive visitors friday, saturday and sunday evenings, when j. and i also have visitors, and mamma sits in the room, sometimes talking with us, sometimes reading; but the evenings are very gay and pleasant, and, i am forced to admit, have no demoralizing effect. on the contrary, their manners and deportment have visibly improved.

mamma looks perfectly lovely, as she sits reading in her plain black frock and widow’s cap. she is a little over fifty, but her hair is brown and curly and her complexion as smooth and unwrinkled as a girl’s, only she is very white and seldom has a colour, as she used to do. she is a great reader and one of my friends, who has a good library and also reviews the new books, and so gets them, brings her some book of great interest every time{313} he comes to make me a visit, and they talk a great deal together. sometimes i get quite jealous, for i do not read deep books. i mean i would not care to if i had time. i never have time to read at all.

i must explain here how the great and unexpected pleasure of going into society came to me. i had quite given up all hope of that joy, for once when i asked mamma about my going out sometimes, she seemed quite shocked, as though it were an absolute impossibility, so i never said anything more about it. but after the school was well started, the son of my father’s friend, nicholas williams (the same whose family had been so wonderfully good and generous to us, lending us crowley hill as a home for the whole war, and lavishing the products of their farm and garden upon us), brought his two beautiful daughters, one barely fifteen, the other seventeen; and mrs. williams asked my mother to receive them for french, literature, and history only, and expressed the wish that they should go into society, as much as practicable, as their time would not be fully occupied by their studies. my mother consented, and these delightful girls came, serena a queenly bru{314}nette and mary a madonna-faced blonde, but it was not wise to trust too much to that demure expression. when the first invitations came to a ball for us all, mamma came to me and said: “bessie, you will have to go and chaperon the girls, for after the work of the day i am quite unequal to going out and sitting up half the night.”

i tried not to show my delight too plainly, but answered quietly, that i would do my best in the new r?le of chaperon. we went to the ball, and i was very proud of my beauties, and their lovely clothes. the acting chaperon was very small, very thin, and dressed in a frock she had made herself in between times, a little over twenty, and nobody thought that she would be able to manage the responsibilities, for the girls were great belles from the first moment, but there never was the least difficulty or friction; they were well-bred, well-trained girls, accustomed to recognize and yield to authority; which was for the moment represented in the person of their very small, very plain chaperon. i soon grew very fond of them. they called me “miss allston” most carefully. altogether the going into society with them was just the last thing necessary to fill my cup of happiness to the brim. my every faculty was in full{315} use, and the going out and dancing, instead of being a fatigue, took away all sense of fatigue; i myself have no doubt but that rhythmic motion to music is one of the most restful things in the world. i feel quite sure that in the end this will be recognized by the medical profession as the best cure for nervous diseases.