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Lucian the dreamer

CHAPTER XIX
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when lucian went back to town haidee was winding up a short round of visits in the north; she rejoined him a week later in high spirits and excellent health. everything had been delightful; everybody had been nice to her; no end of people had talked about lucian and his new play—she was dreaming already of the glories of the first night and of the radiance which would centre about herself as the wife of the brilliant young author. lucian had returned from norway in equally good health and spirits; he was confident about the tragedy and the epic: he and his wife therefore settled down to confront an immediate prospect of success and pleasure. haidee resumed her usual round of social gaieties; lucian was much busied with rehearsals at the theatre and long discussions with harcourt; neither had a care nor an anxiety, and the wheels of their little world moved smoothly.

saxonstowe, who had come back to town for a few weeks before going abroad again, took to calling a good deal at the little house in mayfair. he had come to understand and to like lucian, and though they were as dissimilar in character as men of different temperament can possibly be, a curious bond of friendship, expressed in tacit acquiescence rather than in open avowal, sprang up between them. each had a respect for the other’s world—a respect which was amusing to sprats, who, watching them closely, knew that each admired the other in a somewhat sheepish, schoolboy fashion. lucian, being the less reserved of the two, made no secret of his admiration of the man who had done things the doing of which necessitated bravery, endurance, and self-denial. he was a fervent worshipper—almost to a pathetic extreme—of men of action: the sight of soldiers marching made his toes{167} tingle and his eyes fill with the moisture of enthusiasm; he had been so fascinated by the mere sight of a great arctic explorer that he had followed him from one town to another during a lecturing tour, simply to stare at him and conjure up for himself the scenes and adventures through which the man had passed. he delighted in hearing saxonstowe talk about his life in the deserts, and enjoyed it all the more because saxonstowe had small gift of language and told his tale with the blushes of a schoolboy who hates making a fuss about anything that he has done. saxonstowe, on his part, had a sneaking liking, amounting almost to worship, for men who live in a world of dreams—he had no desire to live in such a world himself, but he cherished an immense respect for men who, like lucian, could create. sometimes he would read a page of the new epic and wonder how on earth it all came into lucian’s head; lucian at the same moment was probably turning over the leaves of saxonstowe’s book and wondering how a man could go through all that that laconic young gentleman had gone through and yet come back with a stiff upper lip and a smile.

‘you and lucian damerel appear to have become something of friends,’ lady firmanence remarked to her nephew when he called upon her one day. ‘i don’t know that there’s much in common between you.’

‘perhaps that is why we are friends,’ said saxonstowe. ‘you generally do get on with people who are a bit different to yourself, don’t you?’

lady firmanence made no direct answer to this question.

‘i’ve no doubt lucian is easy enough to get on with,’ she said dryly. ‘the mischief in him, saxonstowe, is that he’s too easy-going about everything. i suppose you know, as you’re a sort of friend of the family, that a good deal is being said about mrs. damerel and eustace darlington?’

‘no,’ said saxonstowe; ‘i’m not in the way to hear that sort of thing.’{168}

‘i don’t know that you’re any the better for being out of the way. i am in the way. there’s a good deal being said,’ lady firmanence retorted with some asperity. ‘i believe some of you young men think it a positive crime to listen to the smallest scrap of gossip—it’s nothing of the sort. if you live in the world you must learn all you can about the people who make up the world.’

saxonstowe nodded. his eyes fixed themselves on a toy dog which snored and snuffled at lady firmanence’s feet.

‘and in this particular case?’ he said.

‘why was lucian damerel so foolish as to go off in one direction while his wife went in another with the man she originally meant to marry?’ inquired lady firmanence. ‘come now, saxonstowe, would you have done that?’

‘no,’ he said hesitatingly, ‘i don’t think i should; but then, you see, damerel looks at things differently. i don’t think he would ever give the foolishness of it a thought, and he would certainly think no evil—he’s as guileless as a child.’

‘well,’ remarked lady firmanence, ‘i don’t admire him any the more for that. i’m a bit out of love with grown-up children. if lucian damerel marries a wife he should take care of her. why, she was three weeks on darlington’s yacht, and three weeks at his place in scotland (of course there were lots of other people there too, but even then it was foolish), and he was with her at two or three country houses in northumberland later on—i met them at one myself.’

‘lucian and his wife,’ said saxonstowe, ‘are very fond of having their own way.’

lady firmanence looked at her nephew out of her eye-corners.

‘oh!’ she said, with a caustic irony, ‘you think so, do you? well, you know, young people who like to have their own way generally come to grief. to my{169} mind, your new friends seem to be qualifying for trouble.’

saxonstowe studied the pattern of the carpet and traced bits of it out with his stick.

‘do you think men like damerel have the power of reckoning things up?’ he said, suddenly looking at his aunt with a quick, appealing glance. ‘i don’t quite understand these things, but he always seems to me to be a bit impatient of anything that has to do with everyday life, and yet he’s keen enough about it in one way. he’s a real good chap, you know—kindly natured and open-hearted and all that. you soon find that in him. and i don’t believe he ever had a wrong thought of anybody—he’s a sort of confiding trust in other people that’s a bit amusing, even to me, and i haven’t seen such an awful lot of the world. but——’ he came to a sudden pause and shook his head. lady firmanence laughed.

‘yes, but,’ she repeated. ‘that “but” makes all the difference. but this is lucian damerel—he is a child who sits in a gaily caparisoned, comfortably appointed boat which has been launched on a wide river that runs through a mighty valley. he has neither sail nor rudder, and he is so intent on the beauty of the scenery through which he is swept that he does not recognise their necessity. his eyes are fixed on the rose-flushed peak of a far-off mountain, the glitter of the sunshine on a dancing wave, or on the basket of provisions which thoughtful hands have put in the boat. it may be that the boat will glide to its destination in safety, and land him on the edge of a field of velvety grass wherein he can lie down in peace to dream as long as he pleases. but it also may be that it will run on a rock in mid-stream and knock his fool’s paradise into a cocked hat—and what’s going to happen then?’ asked lady firmanence.

‘lots of things might happen,’ said saxonstowe, smiling triumphantly at the thought of beating his clever relative at her own game. ‘he might be able to swim,{170} for example. he might right the boat, get into it again, and learn by experience that one shouldn’t go fooling about without a rudder. some other chap might come along and give him a hand. or the river might be so shallow that he could walk ashore with no more discomfort than he would get from wet feet.’

lady firmanence pursed her lips and regarded her nephew with a fixed stare which lasted until the smile died out of his face.

‘or there might be a crocodile, or an alligator, at hand, which he could saddle and bridle, and convert into a park hack,’ she said. ‘there are indeed many things which might happen; what i’m chiefly concerned about is, what would happen if lucian’s little boat did upset? i confess that i should know lucian damerel much more thoroughly, and have a more accurate conception of him, if i knew exactly what he would say and do when the upsetting happened. there is no moment in life, saxonstowe, wherein a man’s real self, real character, real quality, is so severely tested and laid bare as that unexpected one in which fortune seizes him by the scruff of his neck and bundles him into the horsepond of adversity—it’s what he says and does when he comes up spluttering that stamps him as a man or a mouse.’

saxonstowe felt tolerably certain of what any man would say under the circumstances alluded to by lady firmanence, but as she seemed highly delighted with her similes and her epigrams, he said nothing of his convictions, and soon afterwards took his departure.

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