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Coningsby

CHAPTER VI.
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in the meantime, after dinner, tadpole and taper, who were among the guests of mr. ormsby, withdrew to a distant sofa, out of earshot, and indulged in confidential talk.

‘such a strength in debate was never before found on a treasury bench,’ said mr. tadpole; ‘the other side will be dumbfounded.’

‘and what do you put our numbers at now?’ inquired mr. taper.

‘would you take fifty-five for our majority?’ rejoined mr. tadpole.

‘it is not so much the tail they have, as the excuse their junction will be for the moderate, sensible men to come over,’ said taper. ‘our friend sir everard for example, it would settle him.’

‘he is a solemn impostor,’ rejoined mr. tadpole; ‘but he is a baronet and a county member, and very much looked up to by the wesleyans. the other men, i know, have refused him a peerage.’

‘and we might hold out judicious hopes,’ said taper.

‘no one can do that better than you,’ said tadpole. ‘i am apt to say too much about those things.’

‘i make it a rule never to open my mouth on such subjects,’ said taper. ‘a nod or a wink will speak volumes. an affectionate pressure of the hand will sometimes do a great deal; and i have promised many a peerage without committing myself, by an ingenious habit of deference which cannot be mistaken by the future noble.’

‘i wonder what they will do with rigby,’ said tadpole.

‘he wants a good deal,’ said taper.

‘i tell you what, mr. taper, the time is gone by when a marquess of monmouth was letter a, no. 1.’

‘very true, mr. tadpole. a wise man would do well now to look to the great middle class, as i said the other day to the electors of shabbyton.’

‘i had sooner be supported by the wesleyans,’ said mr. tadpole, ‘than by all the marquesses in the peerage.’

‘at the same time,’ said mr. taper, ‘rigby is a considerable man. if we want a slashing article—’

‘pooh!’ said mr. tadpole. ‘he is quite gone by. he takes three months for his slashing articles. give me the man who can write a leader. rigby can’t write a leader.’

‘very few can,’ said mr. taper. ‘however, i don’t think much of the press. its power is gone by. they overdid it.’

‘there is tom chudleigh,’ said tadpole. ‘what is he to have?’

‘nothing, i hope,’ said taper. ‘i hate him. a coxcomb! cracking his jokes and laughing at us.’

‘he has done a good deal for the party, though,’ said tadpole. ‘that, to be sure, is only an additional reason for throwing him over, as he is too far committed to venture to oppose us. but i am afraid from something that dropped to-day, that sir robert thinks he has claims.’

‘we must stop them,’ said taper, growing pale. ‘fellows like chudleigh, when they once get in, are always in one’s way. i have no objection to young noblemen being put forward, for they are preferred so rapidly, and then their fathers die, that in the long run they do not practically interfere with us.’

‘well, his name was mentioned,’ said tadpole. ‘there is no concealing that.’

‘i will speak to earwig,’ said taper. ‘he shall just drop into sir robert’s ear by chance, that chudleigh used to quiz him in the smoking-room. those little bits of information do a great deal of good.’

‘well, i leave him to you,’ said tadpole. ‘i am heartily with you in keeping out all fellows like chudleigh. they are very well for opposition; but in office we don’t want wits.’

‘and when shall we have the answer from knowsley?’ inquired taper. ‘you anticipate no possible difficulty?’

‘i tell you it is “carte blanche,”’ replied tadpole. ‘four places in the cabinet. two secretaryships at the least. do you happen to know any gentleman of your acquaintance, mr. taper, who refuses secretaryships of state so easily, that you can for an instant doubt of the present arrangement?’

‘i know none indeed,’ said mr. taper, with a grim smile.

‘the thing is done,’ said mr. tadpole.

‘and now for our cry,’ said mr. taper.

‘it is not a cabinet for a good cry,’ said tadpole; ‘but then, on the other hand, it is a cabinet that will sow dissension in the opposite ranks, and prevent them having a good cry.’

‘ancient institutions and modern improvements, i suppose, mr. tadpole?’

‘ameliorations is the better word, ameliorations. nobody knows exactly what it means.’

‘we go strong on the church?’ said mr. taper.

‘and no repeal of the malt tax; you were right, taper. it can’t be listened to for a moment.’

‘something might be done with prerogative,’ said mr. taper; ‘the king’s constitutional choice.’

‘not too much,’ replied mr. tadpole. ‘it is a raw time yet for prerogative.’

‘ah! tadpole,’ said mr. taper, getting a little maudlin; ‘i often think, if the time should ever come, when you and i should be joint secretaries of the treasury!’

‘we shall see, we shall see. all we have to do is to get into parliament, work well together, and keep other men down.’

‘we will do our best,’ said taper. ‘a dissolution you hold inevitable?’

‘how are you and i to get into parliament if there be not one? we must make it inevitable. i tell you what, taper, the lists must prove a dissolution inevitable. you understand me? if the present parliament goes on, where shall we be? we shall have new men cropping up every session.’

‘true, terribly true,’ said mr. taper. ‘that we should ever live to see a tory government again! we have reason to be very thankful.’

‘hush!’ said mr. tadpole. ‘the time has gone by for tory governments; what the country requires is a sound conservative government.’

‘a sound conservative government,’ said taper, musingly. ‘i understand: tory men and whig measures.’

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