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The Works of Thomas Hood

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now birds by poison slain,

as venom’d dart from indian’s hollow cane,

are edible; and mrs. w.’s thrift,—

she had a thrifty vein,—

destined one pair for supper to make shift,—

supper as usual at the hour of ten:

but ten o’clock arrived and quickly pass’d,

eleven—twelve—and one o’clock at last,

[pg 162]

without a sign of supper even then!

at length, the speed of cookery to quicken,

betty was called, and with reluctant feet,

came up at a white heat—

“well, never i see chicken like them chicken!

my saucepans, they have been a pretty while in ’em!

enough to stew them, if it comes to that,

to flesh and bones, and perfect rags; but drat

those anti-biting pills! there is no bile in ’em!”

a lawyer’s letter.

to mr. richard walton, 32, lincoln’s inn.

dear dick,

in re pedro—pike, row, badgery, and crump, mr. theodore hook’s attorneys, offered three years ago, and continued the allowance up to last easter term, to give me, with unexampled liberality, eighteen shillings per week as copying clerk, and to undertake the management of the common law—attend to the chancery department—do the out-door business—make out bills of costs—and make myself generally useful—which i have been doing as long as my health permitted. not being strong, though with an attachment to the profession, i have been compelled to withdraw my record, and to sue out a writ of certiorari to carry my line of life into another court. hearing that don pedro was about to bring an action against don miguel and company, and that lots of john does and richard roes were wanted, i took a retainer from an agent of the great portuguese professional gentleman, and have really embarked in the cause. being out here on the circuit, as one might call it (mr. chief justice sartorius goes it), and knowing the interest you take in my verdicts, i shall write at

[pg 163]

intervals the particulars of plaintiff’s demand, and account of set-off on the part of the enemy’s fleet, or defendant. pray call on mr. wilson, the common law clerk at pike, row, and co., and tell him i have four hours to myself and a chance of being paid, but do this if possible without the knowledge of the principals. white of the same office, when i enlisted, was to have taken the benefit of the act, but on mustering at gravesend, he did not attend the roll call, and was struck off the rolls. i can’t but say, putting truth on her oath in the admiralty court, that when the blue peter gave legal notice to quit, i felt some regret at leaving a land where i might have been, so to speak, a tenant at will. nor was it much better when i came to the nore. i heartily wished, with mr. matthews, that if britannia does rule the waves, she would rule them evener! but it was “rule refused.” the sea ran very rough, and you will understand me when i say i took nothing by my motion. there was the thought of my mother, besides, and the numberless feelings for which, though matters of everyday practice, it is difficult to show cause.

you remember sugden with hart & co., and will not be surprised to hear that he volunteered to convince don miguel of his defective title. a few hours, however, sufficed to disgust him with conveyancing, as it is practised in the marine courts; and i heard him, by a verbal instrument, assign over with technical formality, the whole ship to the devil, his heirs, executors, administrators, and assigns.

as for butterworth, the captain gave instructions with regard to the stays, and butterworth in going aloft fell overboard. we thought for some time that he was dead, but after rubbing, and other means of revival, we had the satisfaction of seeing him moving for a new trial, and that he was beginning de novo.

you may conceive, professionally, our joy at entering the douro with a prospect of being invited within the bar,—but

[pg 164]

the anchors were instructed to stay proceedings, and we stayed the same. as i took notes of what happened afterwards, i will give you a rough draft.

michaelmas term, oct. 31. admiral took counsel’s opinion with regard to the fort of st. michael. held that an action would lie. judgment affirmed.

nov. 2. action of assault and battery. admiral’s ship opened the case, and the others followed on the same side. hills crowded with witnesses. enemy’s damages laid at a hundred and fifty men. tax off a hundred.

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